Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages - Family (10) - Nairaland
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| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Sagamite(m): 6:10pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
buzugee: Didn't you see the one chasing about on this thread and all over NL? "Something special! Unforgetable! Sagamite! (Sag) Smooth Machine! (Machine) Big one! (Big) Gaddamn! (Damn) She, she, she wants it I'm not gonna give it to her She knows dat That's why she's hatin on me. Aayooh She's tired of using technology  , she wants to sit down on top of me!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuNAfUc3t1s&feature=fvst |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Theblessed(f): 6:14pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Wahala90: [size=18pt]In response to your argument, I now refer you to this post by: Quote from: twindude on Today at 03:00:52 PM. He's got it together and with this attitude, his marriage will last for ever and some people here agrees with me. That's all women need and that's why we are here fighting so, go and learn from the best!!!! You see when you get there, you would begin to learn a little about how to start to love, cherish and respect her still, that ego stroking thing you Nigerian men crave like a baby crave milk, will still remain intact and without you loosing face, alright? Good boy!! Just for the starters, only to help you get use to knowing how to, ok? Go, try it baby, go try it!!![/size] 1 Like |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by invisible2(m): 6:30pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
@Sophy09, Amen. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by chibaby5(f): 6:59pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
sophy09: Very well put. With this and LOVE, i don't think there will b any problems in marriages. 75% problems caused in most marriages are from da way da Men treat da Women. When you show love to a woman, u get love in return whereas if u do same to a man, u may still get hate or taken for a dumb head   |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Chuks84(m): 7:23pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Shocked I swear, I am a Nigerian and Nigerians make me SICK!!!! Demented Fowl! I hate it when fools call themselves Nigerians then go ahead and whine about its inadequacies,if you hate Nigerians so much then emigrate to Niger or Togo. Fool. If you have a problem with a particular group of people please refrain from generalizing! Besides nobody is perfect,all this rubbish you just mentioned exists everywhere in the world and not just in Naija, so just shut your trap and contribute constructively if you have anything to say instead of abusing a country and its inhabitants! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by chiogo(f): 7:30pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Topics like this just show how barbaric and insecure many Nigerian men are. It's amazing! 1 Like |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by chibaby5(f): 7:32pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
chiogo: Dats jus da perfect word 1 Like |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Nayah(f): 7:33pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Dear Chucks84, I think you are taking the issue in the wrong way, brother marriage is not about role but complementarity. A family is not like a company as some want to make us believe with chief and so on, your wife is not your subordinate but your partner, and as long as you'll think family like some do, that will create frustration. Your wife is not in tutorial but she's your half and your half is your equal. Equal in this sense means thereis no domination or commanding connotation as you can do with your children, because your children is your creation (biologically of course otherwise is GOD) and they need to be lead to become good citizen. But your women come along in the household with values you share and need to be consulted and your decision need to take your wife's consideration. In this case this is not feminism but just what is normally has to be in a couple, sharing. African women nowadays, and wherever she is doesn't want to be just the mother of your kids or the good cook, she wants and she HAS to be your half. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by seyibrown(f): 7:45pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Chuks84: Sorry, Ochuko, my inglis tisa did a very bad job! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by CrudeOil2(m): 7:54pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Any of the two who is the breadwinner should be the head, whether wife or husband, the richer spouse should be in control of the family. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by chibaby5(f): 7:55pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
^lolz  fair enof tho |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Ranoscky(m): 8:05pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Topic lyk dis is exactly what happened in my compound. I'm not surpose to say it buh, som women myt learn from it! One of my neighbour's wyf (mama junior as we normally call her) always feel's as if she's d 1 dat married her husband n she talk's to her husband as she wishes! D most annouyin tyn is, she do comback late nyt atym's n if her husband ask her y she came back late, she'll start talkin n shoutin harshly to her husband lyk "y r u askin me such question? r u now havin som dirty taught's in ur mind dat i'm sleepin around or somhm?" U know, things lyk dat. N even if dey have a little misunderstandin, she'll start shoutin n draggin her husband from wall to wall to d extent dat we d neighbour's had to com n settle d matter. (somtyms, she'll even lock d door not to allow anybody in) y is she doin all dis? b'cos d husband is as gentle as d word "GENTLE"! I'm d only guy d husband lyk's talkin with, n he lyk's me so much. He do discuss his family affairs with me buh, i never said anytin dat i knew about his wyf to him. (B'cos, i don't wanna b d 1 to break up som1's marraige. N she even had a quarel with another woman in my compound, y? simply b'cos, d woman told her dat d way she talk's to her husband is not polyte, n it won't help d family. so she started abusin dis other woman, askin her to mind her bizness.) Until 1 faithful evenin wen i came back from work, my sister now told me dat mama junior came, n i asked if she travelled before, den, she said no n asked me if im not aware of what's happenin, n i said no. den she started tellin me dat papa junior chased his wyf out of d house 4days ago, dat she came wyt her families to help beg her husband for forgiveness. To cut d story short, d man later told me dat he took his 3kids (all boys. very beautiful yellow children) to his mum dat sam day, switched off his mobile phone n refused not to comback home for 2weeks. (b'cos he knew d wyf will comback later to beg, n he's never ready to see her, not to talk of acceptin her back.) Their's stil more of d story buh i believe a single n wise gurl will learn from dis, thanx! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Chuks84(m): 8:14pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Nayah: My Dear Nayah, I'm not taking the issue the wrong way, you probably misinterpreted what i said about the woman being the helpers. It is my belief that the man is the head of the house, he should be the bread winner (unfortunately its not always the case). The wife should recognize his authority. I am not saying the woman should play a passive role, but like someone said earlier, anything with two heads will eventually become a monster, I will treat my wife as my better half, cherish her, respect her as long as she does the same to me. Its so sad that Africans have chosen to embrace the western culture with no holds barrred, in my opinion feminism only serves to imprint the false notion that the woman is being marginalized which is a blatant lie. look at homes where real love exists between the spouses, no matter how domineering the man is, he listens to his wife first and foremost. How many feminists have fulfilled marriages today? Pleas lets be realistic! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by steroid: 8:40pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
This passages in the bible clearly define who is in charge(Head of the home) Gen. 3:16 "I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth. In pain you shall bring forth children; yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you," 1 Corinthians 11:8-10 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. 1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Chuks84(m): 8:44pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
And for all the ladies clamouring for equality in marriage, you better think twice when you start asking your partner for money to do your hair, money to go shopping, and while you're at it, don't bother asking him for the children's school fees, no money food foodstuffs too, after all we're equal huh! Jeez! most ladies just want to eat their cake and have it, You believe your man should be able to take care of you, he should woo you with beautiful gifts, he should be able to provide for you adequately and you come on nairaland mouthing off about equality. Someone said something about african women becoming wiser, i just think they are becoming more devious! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Ranoscky(m): 8:45pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
If today's marraiges r based on feminism, i rather remain single n adopt a baby! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Iyineda(m): 8:58pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
There is nothing like equality in marriage: either the man is the head or the woman is. But I think the proper arrangement is the man being the head.  |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Nayah(f): 9:09pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Chuky84, that's what I've understand, you take the issue in terms of authority and this kind of things, these notions are appropriated for children and parents not for husband and wife my dear, As I told befoire and I'm emphasize on it as long as you will talk about tutorial things you'll risk to raise kind of frustration. As for hair and so on let me tell you my brother some are not used to ask, actually I'm not used to ask for anything if I need something I just work to afford me what I want, if my husband or fiancé want to make me a gift so I would be happy but this is not in my personality and education to ask for something from my boyfriend or fiancé. Plus thinking African sisters have adopted the whole "westerners" mentality is wrong and completely wrong, because that could be seen as an insult to the intellegency of your sisters. Let me explain you a lot of African women are stuggling every day for a better women conditions in Africa in every country of this continent, it's not the privilege of the western countries to think about a better women conditions. Moreover the African woman is one of the most patient, careful and loving human I know. A western women from the first time you're cheating on her you'll be throw out! and you know your sister will do anything to keep her household and marriage thanks to forgiveness. An African women points out forgiveness and patience are the foundation of a couple. Look I'm french and I was born there but my inheritance from cameroon is truly part of my life, but I think there is nothing wrong to take everything good in some culture (as I got a double one) and live what I estimate as wrong in order to made my personnality. I don't think searching for sharing and understanding from my husband make me a feminist |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Nwaka77: 9:10pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Chuks84: And that is why you had to become foul mouthed and verbally abusive as young as you are huh? You forgot that people don't get to choose their biological parents' nationality because if they did, I know I will not choose Naija as the country I want my parents to come from. Most of you obviously have psycological problems and a Nigerian psyciatrist confirmed that and a thread was opened about it right here on good ole Nairaland. It is why, with all the natural resources God has Blessed Naija with, most Naijas are still living in abject poverty. Its either that or you people are too busy running around the world looking for where to migrate too while Sudan has begun deporting Nigerians back to Nigeria! I don't mingle with Naijas in real life. The internet is the furthest I will go just to have a lil internet fun. My reason being, most of you are so backward in your way of reasoning, it is not even funny. You people's mindset resonates with people from the 18th century and it is no wonder Naija and Africa as a whole is the laughing stock of the world! Outside of Nigeria, the international community are distrustful of Nigerians because of all their dubious activities. Chuks84: At bolded part, I always knew most Nigerians are the worst hypocrites I have ever had the displeasure of encountering. Is it an African/Naija that created the internet or the computer or technology? So since everything western is bad, why are you embracing western culture by using the internet and computer that was created by the western world? And don't try to tell me that the computer and the internet is not partially a western culture because I don't recall Nigerians knowing anything about computers and technology before the arrival of the britons or even in the 1980's. Secondly, why do I see Nigerians queing up and sleeping at British, America, German, Australian and what have you embassies just to get out of Nigeria to the same Western societies we so bad mouth? Why do I see Nigerians who have never stepped foot outside Nigeria speaking with a fake, messed up American or British accent? What ever happened to their natural accent? Yet, we are quick to knock down western societies that Nigerians will gladly run to if given the slightest opportunity. @Poster In regards to submission (A topic that comes up over and over again on this forum), this was never an issue in my family. My father loves my mum to pieces and he pampers her. She too makes sure that he is happy. My father never went about thumping his chest like an aggressive ape demanding submission because it was something that happened naturally. My mum did not even know she was being submissive because dad and mom treated each other with RESPECT. My dad did not make a final decison before asking mom what she thought about it. He respected her intelligence, her imput and opinion and who she is as a person. He held unto the part of the bible that clearly said "love your wife like Christ loved the church." In other words, my dad was not a typical Naija/African male. He possessed common sense and knew what it took to keep his family happy and content. He is also a peace loving man. I also married a man who has a similar character like my dad. He respects me and I respect him and we never argue about submission or who is the head. He is the head but I am not the doormat either. He accords me respect and I accord him respect and we make Christ the centerpiece of our home. I showed him this thread and he just shoke his head though he was not suprised at the comments. I guess both of us (hubby and I) will never understand the archaic mindset of most Nigerians. As for feminism, I don't even know what it is about so I won't go there. You guys can go ahead and keep arguing, cussing, and giving each other headache on this forum. At the end of the day, it all ends here and we all live our lives as we see fit. Peace, out |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by wolexf(m): 9:32pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
I believe submission from the woman is very important in a marriage. The idea of gender equality is not exactly realistic in the African society and I beseech every lady that was brought up in a home by both parents to practice submission as that was the price their mothers paid to make sure they had a father figure in their life because, if the mothers wanted equality the home would have been broken. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Wahala90: 9:46pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
This passages in the bible clearly define who is in charge(Head of the home) These ones no concern our women ooo! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by polosco(m): 10:55pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
God did not need to consult man or woman when He set marriage in motion, and He put man as the head and woman as the body, can a man's head start struggling with his body that it is the head and not the body? Let us pay a visit back to the Bible and learn the reasons for marriage and how it is to be run so we can all have a blessed unions. The issue of equality should not even arise in a properly set up marriage, let's not allow modernism destroy our homes. God help us all!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by bawomolo(m): 11:05pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
i don't see what's so horrible about what theblessed is saying. i typically disagree with her religious stance but what's so wrong about a man putting on the kettle when he comes home earlier than his wife. it's about time we break out of this stereotypical gender roles. polosco: i wonder where all these religious talk go when nigerian men are out cheating about. you guys typically forget this christian god frowns on adultery. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by bawomolo(m): 11:09pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Topics like this just show how barbaric and insecure many Nigerian men are. It's amazing! you would be insecure too if your position of power is being challenge. how do you feel whites felt about the civil rights movements. massa isnt massa anymore. the reason invisible feels women shouldn't be educated is the same reason whites felt blacks shouldn't be literate then. education liberates the mind. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Wahala90: 11:17pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
1 Corinthians 11:3 the head of the woman is the man the head of the woman is the man the head of the woman is the man They can never be equal and will never be. WARNING: Submissive and happily married women should quit this thread now. Or else these shameless Lesbians and divorcees will corrupt your thinking in the name of modernity and feminism. Evil communication corrupts good manners. Quit Now! |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by buzugee(m): 11:38pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Sagamite:after you na casanova and don juan |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by meee1: 11:47pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Marriage is a sweet thing
|
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by buzugee(m): 11:51pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
meee!:how can 'voluntary imprisonment' be sweet ?  at least if you rob a bank you will be paroled after like 10 years in prison even some murderers are paroled after 25 years. marriage is 'life without parole'  |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by obstead200(m): 11:55pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Now u guys are really beginning to scare me. I've always believed that submissiveness in marriage should emmanate from love and mutual acceptance of the man as the head of the home. The man should behave himself with honor and love his wife very much. Wherever the man needs to assert authority in making decisions, he should make a sincere effort to tell the wife why his decision is the best for the moment. in return, the wife should love her husband and add submission to it. from what I read in this thread, it seems that submission will only come as a result of age difference between the couple; This is what scares me cos I'm in a relationship in which me and the lady are about same age. In fact, she may be older than me by a few months, but I dont mind since i love her deeply and I mean to marry her. does that mean dat she will seek to control me by default? |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by Mcleo007(m): 11:59pm On Aug 08, 2010 |
Marriage is a mutual union, exclusive to two pple. Submissiveness in marriage is healthy, bt should never be misunderstood for subjugation. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by buzugee(m): 12:05am On Aug 09, 2010 |
all this one wey una dey talk sef. there are only 3 ways in which a woman will submit to you 1, physical violence ( you beat her to submission) 2, wealth (you have tonnes of cash) 3, sex (you break her back out in the bedroom. have her speaking in tongues during sex) i do not recommend number 1. no woman will voluntarily submit to any man without 1 or 2 or 3. |
| Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by chiogo(f): 12:33am On Aug 09, 2010 |
@Nwaka77, lovely post. I hope some gain some enlightenment from your post. The hypocrisy is just too much. . .and they wonder why Nigeria is the way it is. bawomolo:The fact that it is comparable to White Supremacy is just sad. I'm sure these noise-makers here detest racism and hate that some Whites considered them inferior. Yet they want to make another human being who they supposedly love, feel the same way. Again, this is why Africa is backward. The bible they even quote so much was introduced to them by the Westerners. So, what gives? You're cool though.  And a few other people. I feel sorry for many though - exactly the kind of people I try to avoid in real life. |
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