Mcleo007:

Marriage is a mutual union, exclusive to two pple. Submissiveness in marriage is healthy, bt should never be misunderstood for subjugation.

buzugee:

how can 'voluntary imprisonment' be sweet ? at least if you rob a bank you will be paroled after like 10 years in prison even some murderers are paroled after 25 years. marriage is 'life without parole'

Mcleo007:

Marriage is a mutual union, exclusive to two pple. Submissiveness in marriage is healthy, bt should never be misunderstood for subjugation.

Ileke-IdI:

Anywaz. . . . submission is healthy in a relationship. It's a win-win situation if the hubby is not an arsehoe. I think te married women have said it all on this thread  

Ileke-IdI:


Anywaz. . . . submission is healthy in a relationship. It's a win-win situation if the hubby is not an arsehoe. I think the married women on this thread have said it all  

bawomolo:

lol your own too much. you probably would abscond on your wedding day.

chiogo:

And how is it healthy? People esp. Nigerians just like to force down their ideologies on others. There are marriages without this submission crap, which work just fine. Who's to determine what's healthy? Is it healthy because some women choose to live in misery thereby staying married for life, which is automatically assumed to be a lovely marriage?

oyinda.:

yeah. i'll be a slave too. as long as my master is nice.

To be honest, I don't think any woman who posts here on Nairaland and has a day job is a "submissive wife" according to the true definition of being a submissive wife.
maybe "leilah" is d only true submissive wife i've seen on NL. d rest are just claiming d word to feel among   i'm sure they'll be d first to nag their husband.

buzugee:

i plead the fifth

Submit to him, pump up his ego, make him feel good and I assure you he'll do anything to please you. And in turn he'll try to satisfy you and find ways of making you content.

Ileke-IdI:

Submit to him, pump up his ego, make him feel good and I assure you he'll do anything to please you. And in turn he'll try to satisfy you and find ways of making you content.

chiogo:

That's actually what I have a problem with. I agree with making him feel good, which should go both ways by the way. But pump his ego? What for? If he's secure, why would there be a need for that? That's like how you give candy to kids to get them to shut up. I'm assuming he's a grown man obviously, why can't he know to do the right thing without some ego-pumping? I mean do people really get into a marriage not knowing their roles? Still makes no sense.

And I'm going with the dictionary definition of the word, which mostly has to do with slave like oyinda. posted.

bawomolo:

ikeke idi - would you do stuff like prostrate for your husband to greet him or before giving him a plate of food?

Let's be serious. This is the 21st century, no man wants his wife to prostrate for him while bringing his meal. And how is that submissiveness?

bawomolo:

you would be surprised. that was considered submissiveness back in the day too.

you didn't answer my other questions.

Ileke-IdI:

Yea, back in the days. . . . like I said, no man in my generation would expect that of me.

invisible!:

@Theblessed, don't worry, just pray to get a man like me. 30 days dry fasting and your prayer will be answered. And you will enjoy being loved like my baby.

bawomolo:

i don't see what's so horrible about what theblessed is saying. i typically disagree with her religious stance but what's so wrong about a man putting on the kettle when he comes home earlier than his wife.

it's about time we break out of this stereotypical gender roles.

i wonder where all these religious talk go when nigerian men are out cheating about.

you guys typically forget this christian god frowns on adultery.

Ileke-IdI:

Yea, back in the days. . . . like I said, no man in my generation would expect that of me.

Oba234:

lol@nairalanders throwing bible scriptures. Chineke!!! I didn't even now there were this many bible warriors on Nairaland.

Oba234:

[size=18pt]lol@nairalanders throwing bible scriptures. Chineke!!! I didn't even now there were this many bible warriors on Nairaland.
[/size]

bawomolo:

but that was submissiveness then, are you saying it wasn't healthy? 

i hope you now realize a submissive relationship may or may not be healthy, it depends on the individuals involved.  i doubt women like hilary clinton or michelle obama are submissive.

oyinda.:

@ileke-idi,
basically to be a submissive wife, you do what your husband wants u to do.
like 18 yr old teen living with his parents. u have to listen to them just because they are your parents. lol most can't wait to leave for college and get their own independence. but imagine a wife living like that all her life.

and those saying there can't be two captains of a ship. to me, that analogy is too simplistic since there are many facets to a marriage and each spouse will be better at some aspect and vice versa

besides, the owner of a ship is more powerful than the captain of d ship. just like a board member or large share holder can be more powerful than the CEO of a company. it all boils down to who makes more money etc. that's why working women threaten men's power.

yea. what if he tells u he wants you home at a certain time each night etc. ie placing curfews
he wants you to keep a certain friend and not otherss. ie choosing your friends for you
he decides your employment. ie he doesn't want you to become an engineer and would prefer you to be a secretary

will u be submissive to that?

Ileke-IdI:

Chichi, read the last part, "if the husband is not an azzhoe" must be applied at all time. Yes, when you hear submission, you think enslavement and life of misery. But it's really not. In my perspective, submission has various of meaning, depending on the people involved. [size=18pt]Submission does not grant the man the privileges of walking over you neither does it enslave you[/size]. My definition of healthy might not be your definition of healthy, it has ambiguous/cryptic meanings and  like I said before, it all depends on the people involved.

Submit to him, pump up his ego, make him feel good and I assure you he'll do anything to please you. And in turn he'll try to satisfy you and find ways of making you content.

Before I used to think the same way, "hell no to submission", but it has granted me a lot of access.

And what is the TRUE definition of "submissive wife"?

invisible!:

One woman I know, got tired of following her husband and decided to lead. She packed her load and left Lag to Abj. Got big contracts and was sending huge sums to the husband and her 3 kids. The husband continued to play the role of a housewife for two years, then he discreetly married another girl, brought her into the house. The woman was shocked when she learnt of the developement and came back and took her kids. Left the man and the marriage went kaput. This is a true life story.

invisible!:

One woman I know, got tired of following her husband and decided to lead. She packed her load and left Lag to Abj. Got big contracts and was sending huge sums to the husband and her 3 kids. The husband continued to play the role of a housewife for two years, then he discreetly married another girl, brought her into the house. The woman was shocked when she learnt of the developement and came back and took her kids. Left the man and the marriage went kaput. This is a true life story.

emenim:

it is so sad to hear that fight for equality is ruining marriages, on the contrary it is a common say that what is good for the goose is also good for the gander, however there should be a line of decency to this. the man at all times should remember who the woman is to him in line with God's original purpose of marriage, like wise the woman; because it takes both understandings to make the marriage work. according to the bible, in the book of Amos- i quote CAN TWO WALK TOGETHER EXCEPT THEY AGREE ,