lefulefu:

the bros deserve this
his suffering mom in the village he refused to buy bag of rice for her 4 the xmas but he pay over a 100k for one random slayqueen"s birthday
in short ehn

Hahahahahahahaha omoh the guy Bleep up I swear. E just be like say make I tie am use soldier beat am better beat make he get sense.

Saffi:
Yes it does. Especially if you were born and raised here

OK. You lucky. You did nothing.

The average age to be independent where you are is 18.

And if you above 18,

If daddy still pays the house bills or you still live in his house, you owe the people you call broke an apology cos most fend for themselves and pay their bills despite being 'broke' as u call them.

If not, you are excused

Talking as a father, u went too far. U av got to start any girl with simple things even if she is Dangote's dota... U started this unwisely. When and why would she ask for ur whole salary? Dump her now and start wisely wt anoda girl...

sexybaby22:


Her love, care, devotion to making you happy, and other things the guy might want that are reasonable.

and sex?

lee818:
why do Nigerian ladies have so much entitlement mentality? She needs to work and help herself, instead of looking for a saviour in a man. Soon they will start forming feminism!! All these so called I need upkeep ladies make me nauseous!!! Get up from your lazy asses and go and work for your needs. and guy move on before you regret in the future, she is already telling you, she wants you for monetary reasons!! RUN!!!!

I think there are many factors not just laziness >Some of it is social conditioning too.

There are fewer opportunities for women to earn a living in Nigeria
Another thing is social class. Whilst it is not an absolute this orientation is common n those people who ate karosin cooked food as children in contrast to those who ate gas cooked food. Their brains develop differently

The mentality is not just in women but also in men. Men expect to pay and women expect to be paid and this is a social norm among karosin users

So I do not moralize on the issue. What is needed is better clarity of the terms especially in these days of STDs

The correct relationship is of a client-friend not grlfriend. Once that is clear there is no quarrel or bitterness in most cases the man is paying but it could be the other way round.

It is not a moral issue

truthsayer009:


You made a late contribution but a very sensible one. The saffi lady who posted earlier made a good comment too.

No relationship exist without money, if you want to keep your money. Berra be single, its not by force.

Infact there is an unforseen advantage in giving your GF a particular stipend from your income. For those who are not calculative, you'll end up spending more money not accounted for.

If its 5k or 10k or above you want to be giving her monthly in your mind, just separate it & don't let her know. Once she exhausted it on Data/Airtime/Ice cream/Uber/Movies etc. You tell her, babes no money oh. I'm broke Things are hard in this Buhari era

i love ur contribution as well as PrimadonnaO's

Daeylar:


Even on their friends " their guys" they spend money, but it comes to the woman they claim to love, "I love you, I love you" They want to scream golddigger.
Some men eh.


They know, they just like to act funny,


And they know that too, they just hope that their whining and complaining can force women to lower their standards to want nothing so that they can get away with not spending any money nor doing any thing for the woman they claim to love.


Very true. No woman should allow herself to get to the point that without a man she is nothing.


Nothing but the truth.


Same, for me, having any type of relationship with someone like the above mentioned would be terrible. You won't be able to as generous to them as you would want because then you would feel a bit foolish, You'll then start restricting yourself, just making yourself unhappy,

We're in sync!

nagalee:
i love ur contribution as well as PrimadonnaO's

Thank you.

PrimadonnaO:


They are really just deceiving him, when in actual fact they do otherwise in their own relationship.
The girl in the OP's story is quite annoying...her matter-of-factly entitlement.

The truth is that the things that happen in a relationship are all unwritten codes, but we operate by them. Y'all are deceiving yourselves if you feel you can be in a relationship and not spend money... It's nothing about a woman being lazy, far from it, because even working class ladies and business women have expectations of their man, too. It's one of the ways women feel cared for. We've from time immemorial come to see men as primary providers. While women, on the other hand, are primary caregivers. But it doesn't mean that a woman doesn't assist, too. As a matter of fact, a woman usually goes the extra mile for a man she loves and who in return makes her feel loved. Trust me on this one.

All of these guys whining, they are either broke or badly bruised... not anybody's business, neither does it change the fact.

What I do have an issue with is a woman who won't do anything for herself... and would in fact, be in a pathetic state without a man giving her money.

I work and I earn, and can sort out my basic needs and a bit of indulgences for myself, but no, I won't be with a man who's tight-fisted, a man who doesn't understand that he should be supportive and occasionally do random stuff for his woman whether or not such was requested.

I mean, that would stifle my natural inclinations of goodwill. I'd feel stupid if I cooked such a man a sumptuous dish as a treat with my money...I'd feel silly if I saw that nice shirt and got it for him because I felt it would look great on him. I'd feel overzealous if I arranged a surprise for his birthday. Nahh...can't be with a man like that.

What I won't do however, is tell a man I expect a portion of his salary. Lol. It's actually laughable... Neither would I ourightly be slamming him with bills. I'm a lil too proud to do that.

For y'all vile men all over Nairaland, slamming ladies and selling out wack ideologies, I hope you find a solution to your problems pretty soon.

Can't you see how you contradicted yourself?

Fact is, the guys you accused of whining here have been saying the truth....No gal deserves to tell a guy how he spends his salary....Writing long monologues can't change that...Who told you that women have always depended on men? When ? Where?...In Africa societies or worldwide?

.Better say wetin you know and stop blabbing..

Admin401:


Did you finally say yes to that dude pouring out his soul to date you?

Aha! He got too pesky and I cut him off entirely.

I like my peace.

Iyajelili:

I am an orphan yet I stopped this entitlement mentality many years ago with family members let alone my boyfriend.
Back to the topic, I don't know why some people some guys inclusive have entitlement mentality when you have 2 working hands and 2 working legs.

You actually d first sensible gurl hv seen on nairaland.so impress continue n may God bless ur hustle.

Adeinfo:

I admire your resilience and courage, keep it up. A sense of independence makes you proud of yourself and you can stand up to anybody.

Don't just jump into conclusion.... maybe that is only the relationship settings she grew up to learn and understand...no offense , please...

It's now left for the guy to tolerate or the lady to adjust to a new settings or both to do the needful...


I love relationship because everything in life is build on relationship...

Actually giving ur girlfriend monthly stipends is not wrong. I did it to my now wife. I started it when I was serving and stopped when we got married. Today we are both working with a single account. She is paid more than half of my salary.





In conclusion, if u can afford it and you know her well, go ahead and pay her something. Don't let her determine the amount.

I think this topic is a very a simple and straightforward one. NO, YOU DON'T OWE HER A DUTY OF MONTHLY STIPENDS. It is a relationship, not a trainee position. It isn't wrong to give your girl money on a monthly basis, but you can only give what you feel like and when you feel like.

The irony of all this is, you people only whine on social media...in reality, you go back to dating these same girls. The reason for that is simple too, without money, most of you feel useless...without money, most of these girls feel you are useless.

Don't date her, that mentality took years to form. You can't change/correct it.

EmmaOgbu:
Actually giving ur girlfriend monthly stipends is not wrong. I did it to my now wife. I started it when I was serving and stopped when we got married. Today we are both working with a single account. She is paid more than half of my salary.





In conclusion, if u can afford it and you know her well, go ahead and pay her something. Don't let her determine the amount.

Depending on the gurl this one stated above seems like a permanent parasite

Iamtosignno:
You spent so much on her like that in the first place, and expect smooth relationship afterwards.. if she no take you as maga wetin she gain..

u don't start a relationship on the basis of money. Just be yaself, who will love will love you

Acidosis:


and sex?

thats part of 'devotion to making you happy' because she might not even want it at times.

WaffenSS:


Send an email with the necessaries

BOSS think you so so much God bless you

sexybaby22:


The men don't realise that its not called spending when you are with someone you are committed to, its called 'investing' in her.

God punish you there. Investment kill you. Don't go and look for a job.

Saffi:
Yes it does. Especially if you were born and raised here

Initially I wanted to call you out of your silliness, then I had a second thought - maybe you are a teenager going through a lot and just trying to hide on a faceless forum to feel good about your Insecure self.

Your lingo and diction does not depict someone who was born and raised in a western society. You continue to use Nigerian phrases and contemporary words and that gives you out as someone who maybe in a fantasy world. Also, your mindset is still interwoven with that of African cultural values and thinking.

I know this because I know the United Kingdom extremely well and I also live in a Western Country. I can tell those who are not aware that London is a crappy city. The only fantastic place to live and visit is Central London, the other places are horrible. North London is not much different from Lagos - Dirty. You can literally see Poo on the streets (no jokes). Gang members, street beggars, homeless and prostitution. Crime levels so high you begin to wonder if the Met Police is incompetent. Broken families within the black community and kids roaming around with daddy issues.

Op you need a new babe...better start praying for luck...cos getting a 'wife' that suits you these days requires better prayer.

Boss13:


Initially I wanted to call you out of your silliness, then I had a second thought - maybe you are a teenager going through a lot and just trying to hide on a faceless forum to feel good about your Insecure self.

Your lingo and diction does not depict someone who was born and raised in a western society. You continue to use Nigerian phrases and contemporary words and that gives you out as someone who maybe in a fantasy world. Also, your mindset is still interwoven with that of African cultural values and thinking.

I know this because I know the United Kingdom extremely well and I also live in a Western Country. I can tell those who are not aware that London is a crappy city. The only fantastic place to live and visit is Central London, the other places are horrible. North London is not much different from Lagos - Dirty. You can literally see Poo on the streets (no jokes). Gang members, street beggars, homeless and prostitution. Crime levels so high you begin to wonder if the Met Police is incompetent. Broken families within the black community and kids roaming around with daddy issues.

dat chicks always form it written all over her post she loves making mouth o

Coloradvantage:
what is the aim of buying a gift someone will not value. my girl friend tried this habit recently I let her know the fact.. it is a relationship. partnership. not a parasitic stuff. there is nothing bad in helping a friend. but someone making it feels having a boyfriend is a carreer path is low-level of thinking. next time don't waste your money. buying gifts.

know if that individual knows the worth.

even since I bought expensive wine when travelling to the village. I spent nothing less than 320k. and my friend who bought about 7 crate of beer was used as an example of how to give. I now take a new leave.

That's this part of the world for you, they value quantity over quality.

PrimadonnaO:


They are really just deceiving him, when in actual fact they do otherwise in their own relationship.
The girl in the OP's story is quite annoying...her matter-of-factly entitlement.

The truth is that the things that happen in a relationship are all unwritten codes, but we operate by them. Y'all are deceiving yourselves if you feel you can be in a relationship and not spend money... It's nothing about a woman being lazy, far from it, because even working class ladies and business women have expectations of their man, too. It's one of the ways women feel cared for. We've from time immemorial come to see men as primary providers. While women, on the other hand, are primary caregivers. But it doesn't mean that a woman doesn't assist, too. As a matter of fact, a woman usually goes the extra mile for a man she loves and who in return makes her feel loved. Trust me on this one.

All of these guys whining, they are either broke or badly bruised... not anybody's business, neither does it change the fact.

What I do have an issue with is a woman who won't do anything for herself... and would in fact, be in a pathetic state without a man giving her money.

I work and I earn, and can sort out my basic needs and a bit of indulgences for myself, but no, I won't be with a man who's tight-fisted, a man who doesn't understand that he should be supportive and occasionally do random stuff for his woman whether or not such was requested.

I mean, that would stifle my natural inclinations of goodwill. I'd feel stupid if I cooked such a man a sumptuous dish as a treat with my money...I'd feel silly if I saw that nice shirt and got it for him because I felt it would look great on him. I'd feel overzealous if I arranged a surprise for his birthday. Nahh...can't be with a man like that.

What I won't do however, is tell a man I expect a portion of his salary. Lol. It's actually laughable... Neither would I ourightly be slamming him with bills. I'm a lil too proud to do that.

For y'all vile men all over Nairaland, slamming ladies and selling out wack ideologies, I hope you find a solution to your problems pretty soon.

see who's calling others broke? Are you not broke as well? See this hungry fellow. Prove you're not broke lets display our statement of accounts. That way we would know who's the broke person. I'm waiting.

uyiekpenn:
God punish you there. Investment kill you. Don't go and look for a job.

Lol, don't give your self hypertension oga.

Boss13:


Initially I wanted to call you out of your silliness, then I had a second thought - maybe you are a teenager going through a lot and just trying to hide on a faceless forum to feel good about your Insecure self.

Your lingo and diction does not depict someone who was born and raised in a western society. You continue to use Nigerian phrases and contemporary words and that gives you out as someone who maybe in a fantasy world. Also, your mindset is still interwoven with that of African cultural values and thinking.

I know this because I know the United Kingdom extremely well and I also live in a Western Country. I can tell those who are not aware that London is a crappy city. The only fantastic place to live and visit is Central London, the other places are horrible. North London is not much different from Lagos - Dirty. You can literally see Poo on the streets (no jokes). Gang members, street beggars, homeless and prostitution. Crime levels so high you begin to wonder if the Met Police is incompetent. Broken families within the black community and kids roaming around with daddy issues.

Darling I was born in the U.K. and I went to Nigeria to live for 3 years. I understand the lifestyle, lingo and culture of both countries. I left at 19 and I’m 23 now. I don’t need to speak queens English to prove that I live a better life than you. I’m fuckinggg real and if I have to speak better broken pidgin for you to get the message into your thick skull, then so be it Oga. I don’t need to tell you my life story, the fact is that I’ve lived a good life since forever. Your perception of London is nonsense, especially speaking to someone who has lived here all their life. Good day.

sexybaby22:


thats part of 'devotion to making you happy' because she might not even want it at times.

Lool, you have joined bad gang

Boss13:


Initially I wanted to call you out of your silliness, then I had a second thought - maybe you are a teenager going through a lot and just trying to hide on a faceless forum to feel good about your Insecure self.

Your lingo and diction does not depict someone who was born and raised in a western society. You continue to use Nigerian phrases and contemporary words and that gives you out as someone who maybe in a fantasy world. Also, your mindset is still interwoven with that of African cultural values and thinking.

I know this because I know the United Kingdom extremely well and I also live in a Western Country. I can tell those who are not aware that London is a crappy city. The only fantastic place to live and visit is Central London, the other places are horrible. North London is not much different from Lagos - Dirty. You can literally see Poo on the streets (no jokes). Gang members, street beggars, homeless and prostitution. Crime levels so high you begin to wonder if the Met Police is incompetent. Broken families within the black community and kids roaming around with daddy issues.

Guy leave the fake bitch alone

She is faker than Fakorede


Her English is atrocious .........

She does not know the difference between

entitled and obliged

She said


I AM NOT ENTITLED TO COOK FOR YOU.........

I am embarrassed for her


You nailed it when you say she is insecure............she is just trying to compensate for a sense of inadequacy

She is what I call a Jangolova saying , karosin using ,polybag shiitting, shot put throwing tamba doing wannabe.........in short a lowlife peasant

Hizzy:

BOSS think you so so much God bless you

You're welcome, but shhhh!

See all this gra gra nonsense you’re writing, my head cannot collect it. As far as I’m concerned, man must pay and woman must slay. Good day sir.

0monnak0da:

Your English needs improvent Do you know the meaning of the word entitled? perhaps you mean obliged?

Sex is something you "give" ?

Since the day you started to "give sex " have you ever got a reference,certificate or feedback form to tell you how good your sex is so that your next partner can know what they are buying?
e.g Are you in the Premiership or Championship?

Cooking ?? Is that how good your cooking is?

See...... all those things can be paid for ? Sex and cooking .........
especially in Nigeria, very cheap

Why pretend there is a relationship?

Then the question of selfishness should not come into it if you are paying

You simply negotiate

Sex How many times a week
Whether you use condom or not
and then agree a rate including charge for abortion if needed

If Housekeeping is part of the deal again you agree a rate

If escorting to events like parties etc again you agree a rate , including wardrobe allowance etc

It is business why pretend it is something else?
Men do it for women and women do it for men it depends on who is more needy.

I think problems arise when people pretend to each other

Acidosis:


Lool, you have joined bad gang

Its the truth, just that many can't express it.

Saffi:
Darling I was born in the U.K. and I went to Nigeria to live for 3 years. I understand the lifestyle, lingo and culture of both countries. I left at 19 and I’m 23 now. I don’t need to tell you my life story, the fact is that I’ve lived a good life since forever. Your perception of London is nonsense, especially speaking to someone who has lived here all their life. Good day.

Then act as a 23 years old and stop the silliness!

You’re contradicting yourself with your timeline on both countries. I can tell you I know London better than you giving our age difference. I schooled there FYI.