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Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by NL1960: 12:46pm On Jan 20, 2019
JoannaSedley:
If I am your siblings we would've beaten you to a pulp including your husband. What arrogance.... Phew!! Those girls.... You deserved to be ostracized by your family....I mean written off.
No wonder your mother called a family meeting....

You just took the words out of my mouth.

The OP even said this "Some years ago when i was in school my brother helped me half of my school fee, he said i should have been going to his house to do chores for him because of d money, i went mad".

Too much arrogance which might be coming from the feelings that "iam now more than them or more well off than them. What will i ever need from them" with also the thinking "if my elder brother wants, i will pay him back with interest the half school fees he helped me with".

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Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by Asetime: 2:00pm On Jan 20, 2019
Dear OP, you disrespect your siblings who are your elders because they disrespect your husband who is their elder.....interesting...

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Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by Chommieblaq(f): 2:07pm On Jan 20, 2019
You came online to look for validation, so you can start keeping malices with your family huh?

Some are advising you to ignore them and face your family huh?
Whatever you do, never forget family is everything, we mustn't all get along but then we no go quarrel
Apologies to your elder brother and sisters (reason with them too, especially your sisters), it won't take anything from you, atleast from your part you will know you tried your best.
Life is too short to keep malice with an outsider talkmore of family

3 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by Chommieblaq(f): 2:15pm On Jan 20, 2019
NL1960:


You just took the words out of my mouth.

The OP even said this "Some years ago when i was in school my brother helped me half of my school fee, he said i should have been going to his house to do chores for him because of d money, i went mad".

Too much arrogance which might be coming from the feelings that "iam now more than them or more well off than them. What will i ever need from them" with also the thinking "if my elder brother wants, i will pay him back with interest the half school fees he helped me with".


When i was in school, my siblings were not responsible for my school fee, i did not only run errand for them, i help out at their shops too. Today I'm working and far from home, but each time i go home, they relegate every duty to me from catering for kids, going to the market and cooking for them, and representing them at the children's school activities.
If I don't do it for my siblings who then will i do it for?

4 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by Mizwisdom(f): 7:05pm On Jan 20, 2019
debbycreamy:
thank u all for your responses i really appreciate, sometimes a push is all we need, tnx


These same people telling you to cut off your family will still advice you to reconcile with your in laws if it was the other way around. Be wise, who will defend you when your husband's family start their own? cheesy
Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by Mizwisdom(f): 7:15pm On Jan 20, 2019
eniolorunfe:


Lmao @ those girls...
Na your elder sisters you dey call those girls



No wonder dem join hand beat am grin she sounds like those women that carry "married woman" logo on their forehead. After pride always comes a nasty fall
Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by bukatyne(f): 7:18pm On Jan 20, 2019
debbycreamy:


My husband senior those girls na, yet she was insulting my husband, so i should have kept quiet?

What is the age difference between you and them?

Are your sisters married?
Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by gabbytabby: 10:41am On Jan 25, 2019
Your husband should not have been there talk of him claiming seniority. You wan use am to intimidate your family or to claim seniority that you are not entitled to.

It’s time for you to apologise and reconcile with your siblings.
debbycreamy:
hello nairalanders,



Pls i need matured advice from matured people, i went for a family meeting few weeks back and the meeting turned out to be disastrous because of me, 3 of my siblings attacked me with false allegations to the extend of insulting my husband and i and when i stood up to defend myself my brother said he will slap me, this thing happened about 2 weeks ago. Theses are people i have always loved and sacrificed for though i'm the last born, my immediate elder sister that i tell almost everything to showed me the dark side of her, keeping grudges of things that have past.


If not for my husband i would have gone insane, because of the love i have for them, my question is how do i relate with this people from now, i'm scared of communicating with them because they will negatively misinterept whatever i say, should i forget them? Should i forgive and act like they never attacked me? Will they repeat it in the future? Do they hate me without reason? pls talk to me, i'm happy with my husband, but the way they attacked me is affecting me, even in my dreams pls help me.
Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by debbycreamy(f): 11:19am On Jan 25, 2019
gabbytabby:
Your husband should not have been there talk of him claiming seniority. You wan use am to intimidate your family or to claim seniority that you are not entitled to.

It’s time for you to apologise and reconcile with your siblings.


Eeeyaaa, is like u are not reading what i wrote u just jump into conclusions.

Anyway, since the issue was conflicting here, i met with my pastor, he explained its just envy and distraction so i should forgive them. I have forgiven them but haven't called all yet. Thanks
Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by Mizwisdom(f): 1:36pm On Jan 25, 2019
debbycreamy:



Eeeyaaa, is like u are not reading what i wrote u just jump into conclusions.

Anyway, since the issue was conflicting here, i met with my pastor, he explained its just envy and distraction so i should forgive them. I have forgiven them but haven't called all yet. Thanks

Envy grin you think cos you're married and they're not, so they are envious of you? grin I wish they had beaten you black and blue cheesy no wonder your brother wanted to beat you up, you deserve it grin

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Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by 4tunebest(f): 1:52pm On Jan 25, 2019
Daddy, I want to thank you for not allowing any of my younger siblings to relegate me to the background due to lack of whatever the society deems important.

Thank you because as the first child, you have made me the head in all ramifications lest I be termed envious by any of my younger siblings whenever corrections are made for any of their wrong doings.

Daddy please accept my deep gratitude for not putting my reputation as an elder one at the mercy of any pastor who would choose to massage the over bloated ego of any of my younger siblings, instead of telling them the bitter truth about their arrogance and how repulsive it is.

For this and many more, oh Lord, I am grateful.

Please let somebody help me shout hallelujah!

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Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by debbycreamy(f): 3:02pm On Jan 25, 2019
Mizwisdom:


Envy grin you think cos you're married and they're not, so they are envious of you? grin I wish they had beaten you black and blue cheesy no wonder your brother wanted to beat you up, you deserve it grin

I pity u dear, do u have a wife? Have someone insulted ur wife based on an innocent accusation? i went alone in d first place, she was d one that fought to stop my marriage, i won her and now she is painting him black i should do what? Keep quiet and let her blab all the lies? Eeeyyyaaa my brother u are not in my shoes ok, i have forgiven her and u stop judging people without hearing the whole story , read d replies i gave to others u will understand. Bye
Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by piroux(f): 4:45pm On Jan 25, 2019
Mizwisdom:


Envy grin you think cos you're married and they're not, so they are envious of you? grin I wish they had beaten you black and blue cheesy no wonder your brother wanted to beat you up, you deserve it grin

Stop doing that, please! If you can't advice her, kindly ignore. You weren't there, you shouldn't be wishing her evil.

Her siblings might envy her, then again she might just be assuming they do. But ganging up to beat her, that's just wrong.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by piroux(f): 4:51pm On Jan 25, 2019
debbycreamy:


I pity u dear, do u have a wife? Have someone insulted ur wife based on an innocent accusation? i went alone in d first place, she was d one that fought to stop my marriage, i won her and now she is painting him black i should do what? Keep quiet and let her blab all the lies? Eeeyyyaaa my brother u are not in my shoes ok, i have forgiven her and u stop judging people without hearing the whole story , read d replies i gave to others u will understand. Bye

No, she won't. Only you will. Often, I have seen people who know they have issues and have made mistakes try to validate themselves by using envy and "they're just threatened by me" to excise their behavior.

Your sister has issues with you or your husband for whatever reason, go talk to her, make your peace. Same with your brother.

Establish your position and make them understand that while hurting them or offending them wasn't your intention, you're sorry that you have.

If they listen to you and it ends, great. If they don't, give them space.

Also, watch yourself. Truly, you come off as arrogant and for a last born in Nigeria, this may not go down well with your siblings. Whatever you're doing to make them think you're proud and uncorrectable, please stop it.

The bible says we should get wisdom in all our gettings. Do that.
Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by Mizwisdom(f): 4:59pm On Jan 25, 2019
piroux:


Stop doing that, please! If you can't advice her, kindly ignore. You weren't there, you shouldn't be wishing her evil.

Her siblings might envy her, then again she might just be assuming they do. But ganging up to beat her, that's just wrong.

They say when many people complain about you, start checking yourself. If all her siblings gang up against her it's either jealousy or attitude. From what she has written so far I've been able to draw a conclusion that it's attitude. She can't hide it, it's now part of her and it shows as she responds to people here. I can imagine how it will be if we met face to face. I wish her well though, I hope she can change but if not, I hope they tolerate her

2 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by NL1960: 12:15pm On Jan 27, 2019
debbycreamy:



Eeeyaaa, is like u are not reading what i wrote u just jump into conclusions.

Anyway, since the issue was conflicting here, i met with my pastor, he explained its just envy and distraction so i should forgive them. I have forgiven them but haven't called all yet. Thanks

Since your pastor has given you the answer you wanted which you could not get here, you can go in peace now.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by NL1960: 12:18pm On Jan 27, 2019
Mizwisdom:


They say when many people complain about you, start checking yourself. If all her siblings gang up against her it's either jealousy or attitude. From what she has written so far I've been able to draw a conclusion that it's attitude. She can't hide it, it's now part of her and it shows as she responds to people here. I can imagine how it will be if we met face to face. I wish her well though, I hope she can change but if not, I hope they tolerate her

I just can no longer put my head round what the OP is saying and has been claiming. It is looking like film trick or Nollywood to me or that she made this all up. Thank God for anonymity of this forum.

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Re: Is It Wrong To Avoid Your Extended Family? by KevinDein: 1:13pm On Jan 27, 2019
Mizwisdom:


Envy grin you think cos you're married and they're not, so they are envious of you? grin I wish they had beaten you black and blue cheesy no wonder your brother wanted to beat you up, you deserve it grin
Wait, when has it become OK for someone to be beaten because they are proud or arrogant?

Some of you are genuinely evil at heart and would probably look for a reason to perpetrate your evil intentions.

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