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How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? - Romance - Nairaland

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How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by FrostyButter: 11:00pm On Feb 02
Always knew I would find myself in this position on day. Falling hard for someone, dating them, and then finally getting to really know them. Today she told me about her past and I've just been in one place, my mind racing back and forth. Anyone every been in this kind of situation? How did you cope with it? What decision did you make and did you regret it?

I know many people would say if you love someone you don't care about their past, or you don't even think about it. I feel that's what Hollywood scripts are made of. Lets discuss like real human beings.


Modified : As for what happened, I got to realise most of the male friends she has and told me about, the ones she still would call her close friends have had one sexual thing with her or the other. To be precise, 9 of them and 7 have had a thing with her, sexually. In her defence, there was no emotional attachments... Which to me is even more annoying. Plus she still wants to hang out with them. Infact, that's the fight we are having right now. And there are still worse things I would rather not discuss. That's where I'm at.


So I don't know if there is anyone that has stayed back in a relationship like this and if you ran away, please tell how you did it, just incase I have to.
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Earthbound(m): 11:08pm On Feb 02
Since you and your woman are under the cloak of anonymity, tell us the juicy details first, abeg.

2 Likes

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Lightangel65(m): 11:11pm On Feb 02
Leave her she doesn't deserve you.

You should have posted the full story from the start

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by kalufelix(m): 11:25pm On Feb 02
Your latter paragraph says you have already taken a par tial decision and only looking for affirmation...Why go looking for what you are not supposed to find when you know you can't handle it.

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by solz007(m): 2:09am On Feb 03
Every Saint Got a Past & Every Sinner Got a Future!

Just Let those stuffs she says slide. Weigh her good with her bad which comes top? U know what to do..

I know a guy who is dating a girl that has been through a lot it's nothing compared to what your girl has gone through but he still Loves her cause of the woman she is now don't give a Sh!t bout her past. she telling U bout her past means she's being honest with yah' no lies & no secrets.

Question
what if someone tells U she was into Porn Before and they got prove like a Clip or pictures?? what would be your reaction??

Just Weigh how U will Feel when she already told U bout that & When she didn't Tell nothing bout her past??


Love Forgives
Love Conquers All
In fact Love is All

One more thing!?
Check yourself out are U perfect?? U broke hearts too, U got some secrets U won't even let her know but there she is telling U hers cause she Loves U! with all due Respect Nigga (In Demmie Vee's Voice) “You're a Fuccking Hypocrite” (In Falz Voice) “Na Me Talk Am”)....LOL!!

2 Likes

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by FrostyButter: 3:47am On Feb 03
solz007:
Every Saint Got a Past & Every Sinner Got a Future!

Just Let those stuffs she says slide. Weigh her good with her bad which comes top? U know what to do..

I know a guy who is dating a girl that has been through a lot it's nothing compared to what your girl has gone through but he still Loves her cause of the woman she is now don't give a Sh!t bout her past. she telling U bout her past means she's being honest with yah' no lies & no secrets.

Question
what if someone tells U she was into Porn Before and they got prove like a Clip or pictures?? what would be your reaction??

Just Weigh how U will Feel when she already told U bout that & When she didn't Tell nothing bout her past??


Love Forgives
Love Conquers All
In fact Love is All

One more thing!?
Check yourself out are U perfect?? U broke hearts too, U got some secrets U won't even let her know but there she is telling U hers cause she Loves U! with all due Respect Nigga (In Demmie Vee's Voice) “You're a Fuccking Hypocrite” (In Falz Voice) “Na Me Talk Am”)....LOL!!


She actually knows everything about me. I'm just not used to all this. I don't know my eduance limit. And worst off, I have to see these guys.
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by ghettochild(m): 5:05am On Feb 03
My advice,...... Keep it within u... Past is past.. If he didn't ask for n to know it.
Why tell him..
Something that may be used against u when u fight depending on his stupidity level....
U go cry hell that day
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Dami12345: 9:26am On Feb 03
@op

If you can't handle it.
Leave. There is a lady for you. That is looking for the exact guy you are.
She has secrets you would be comfortable with. And when you meet her you will wonder where she has been all this will.

Stop enduring poo from people who want to eat their cake and have it.
I can't take such things also hence I dont have a dark past.
I have been fair to my future partner.
I expect and won't settle for anything that come my way, unless it is what I want.

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by FrostyButter: 10:22am On Feb 03
Dami12345:
@op

If you can't handle it.
Leave. There is a lady for you. That is looking for the exact guy you are.
She has secrets you would be comfortable with. And when you meet her you will wonder where she has been all this will.

Stop enduring poo from people who want to eat their cake and have it.
I can't take such things also hence I dont have a dark past.
I have been fair to my future partner.
I expect and won't settle for anything that come my way, unless it is what I want.

Thanks a lot

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by chenzen(m): 10:32am On Feb 03
advice to ya'all... there are secrets that are meant to be buried with a person when they die.


dont pressure urself by opening up when you know it ll cause more harm than good

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by ushiebabah(f): 11:34am On Feb 03
Please just continue been committed o.. Why ask, when you are not strong enough for its outcome. I personally can relate with your exact scenario but I keep asking myself why I even asked at first but she has exhibtly shown that she is a changed person, although still has pride and could hardly say "Am Sorry".. Keep talking to her, if she really wants the relationship, she would amend.

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by FrostyButter: 11:37am On Feb 03
ushiebabah:
Please just continue been committed o.. Why ask, when you are not strong enough for its outcome. I personally can relate with your exact scenario but I keep asking myself why I even asked at first but she has exhibtly shown that she is a changed person, although still has pride and could hardly say "Am Sorry".. Keep talking to her, if she really wants the relationship, she would amend.

I plan on talking things through with her today about stay away from them...if efforts prove abortive, I would gently walk out.
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by ushiebabah(f): 12:14pm On Feb 03
FrostyButter:


I plan on talking things through with her today about stay away from them...if efforts prove abortive, I would gently walk out.

Simple ... Those guys would always come back for a night stand if she doesn't stay away from them... this our modern woman, would say "trust me, I can handle it" which after a year, they still communicates ... I just tire for women o... Marriage is just another Scam

2 Likes

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Ains: 12:17pm On Feb 03
Sometimes secrets are meant to be kept secrets
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by seniorgozman(m): 12:28pm On Feb 03
Watch her, if she does not change take your leave
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Oma307: 12:35pm On Feb 03
where are the ladies to comments
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by jorion(m): 1:57pm On Feb 03
Hmmmm. It can be difficult to stomach, I know. But if the sex is great and you're not looking forward to marrying her, FIRE ON

2 Likes

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by lilmax(m): 2:15pm On Feb 03
, I got to realise most of the male friends she has and told me about, the ones she still would call her close friends have had one sexual thing with her or the other. To be precise, 9 of them and 7 have had a thing with her, sexually. In her defence, there was no emotional attachments... Which to me is even more annoying. Plusshe still wants to hang out with them.

she still wants to hang out with them LMAO

guy I know if you tell her to stay away she will tell you you're INSECURE grin

maturity is far from her and it seems the HOE phase didn't teach her anything

people here will tell you she told you because she trusts you,but I'm here to tell you she's ready to MANIPULATE the hell out of you cheesy

she hasn't learnt anything yet, hence she still wants to hang out with them grin

the ball is in your court,do you want to continue? or stay out? or use her as knacking machine? cheesy

I'd say be the mature one and walk away without knacking, its not worth it,knacks dey everywhere

my advice: stay out and get you a girl with SENSE, she's obviously not ready to change

9 Likes

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Apination: 2:28pm On Feb 03
FrostyButter:
Always knew I would find myself in this position on day. Falling hard for someone, dating them, and then finally getting to really know them. Today she told me about her past and I've just been in one place, my mind racing back and forth. Anyone every been in this kind of situation? How did you cope with it? What decision did you make and did you regret it?

I know many people would say if you love someone you don't care about their past, or you don't even think about it. I feel that's what Hollywood scripts are made of. Lets discuss like real human beings.


Modified : As for what happened, I got to realise most of the male friends she has and told me about, the ones she still would call her close friends have had one sexual thing with her or the other. To be precise, 9 of them and 7 have had a thing with her, sexually. In her defence, there was no emotional attachments... Which to me is even more annoying. Plus she still wants to hang out with them. Infact, that's the fight we are having right now. And there are still worse things I would rather not discuss. That's where I'm at.


So I don't know if there is anyone that has stayed back in a relationship like this and if you ran away, please tell how you did it, just incase I have to.

Instead of you to make yourself number 10, you are there looking for a fight, MUMU BOY undecided

2 Likes

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Biglittlelois(f): 2:33pm On Feb 03
Well, sharing past secrets in a relationship depends on how matured both parties are, we both did that in mine, as in every little details and we are both cool and have moved on from it.
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by labanj1(m): 4:09pm On Feb 03
Dami12345:
@op

If you can't handle it.
Leave. There is a lady for you. That is looking for the exact guy you are.
She has secrets you would be comfortable with. And when you meet her you will wonder where she has been all this will.

Stop enduring poo from people who want to eat their cake and have it.
I can't take such things also hence I dont have a dark past.
I have been fair to my future partner.
I expect and won't settle for anything that come my way, unless it is what I want.
Nice. It is not just being fair to your future partner, you've been fair to yourself. They'll still hide under the veil of love conquers all. Same with me, won't settle for just anything, except it is what I want.

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Dami12345: 5:28pm On Feb 03
labanj1:

Nice. It is not just being fair to your future partner, you've been fair to yourself. They'll still hide under the veil of love conquers all. Same with me, won't settle for just anything, except it is what I want.

Abi naw.
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by perousd: 5:55pm On Feb 03
lilmax:
, I got to realise most of the male friends she has and told me about, the ones she still would call her close friends have had one sexual thing with her or the other. To be precise, 9 of them and 7 have had a thing with her, sexually. In her defence, there was no emotional attachments... Which to me is even more annoying. Plusshe still wants to hang out with them.

she still wants to hang out with them LMAO

guy I know if you tell her to stay away she will tell you you're INSECURE grin

maturity is far from her and it seems the HOE phase didn't teach her anything

people here will tell you she told you because she trusts you,but I'm here to tell you she's ready to MANIPULATE the hell out of you cheesy

she hasn't learnt anything yet, hence she still wants to hang out with them grin

the ball is in your court,do you want to continue? or stay out? or use her as knacking machine? cheesy

I'd say be the mature one and walk away without knacking, its not worth it,knacks dey everywhere

my advice: stay out and get you a girl with SENSE, she's obviously not ready to change

you killed the question.
OP. There is a proven fact that a female once knacked is forever open for knacks... even in your matrimonial home. She still wants to hang out with them?? WTF? A manipulator indeed.

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Deicide: 5:56pm On Feb 03
The way girls use to demonize their ex ehen you self go fear grin
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by perousd: 5:57pm On Feb 03
lilmax:
, I got to realise most of the male friends she has and told me about, the ones she still would call her close friends have had one sexual thing with her or the other. To be precise, 9 of them and 7 have had a thing with her, sexually. In her defence, there was no emotional attachments... Which to me is even more annoying. Plusshe still wants to hang out with them.

she still wants to hang out with them LMAO

guy I know if you tell her to stay away she will tell you you're INSECURE grin

maturity is far from her and it seems the HOE phase didn't teach her anything

people here will tell you she told you because she trusts you,but I'm here to tell you she's ready to MANIPULATE the hell out of you cheesy

she hasn't learnt anything yet, hence she still wants to hang out with them grin

the ball is in your court,do you want to continue? or stay out? or use her as knacking machine? cheesy

I'd say be the mature one and walk away without knacking, its not worth it,knacks dey everywhere

my advice: stay out and get you a girl with SENSE, she's obviously not ready to change

you killed the question.
OP. There is a proven fact that a female once knacked is forever open for knacks... even in your matrimonial home. She still wants to hang ou
t with them?? WTF? A manipulator indeed.

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by Nikes(m): 6:20pm On Feb 03
lilmax:
, I got to realise most of the male friends she has and told me about, the ones she still would call her close friends have had one sexual thing with her or the other. To be precise, 9 of them and 7 have had a thing with her, sexually. In her defence, there was no emotional attachments... Which to me is even more annoying. Plusshe still wants to hang out with them.

she still wants to hang out with them LMAO

guy I know if you tell her to stay away she will tell you you're INSECURE grin

maturity is far from her and it seems the HOE phase didn't teach her anything

people here will tell you she told you because she trusts you,but I'm here to tell you she's ready to MANIPULATE the hell out of you cheesy

she hasn't learnt anything yet, hence she still wants to hang out with them grin

the ball is in your court,do you want to continue? or stay out? or use her as knacking machine? cheesy

I'd say be the mature one and walk away without knacking, its not worth it,knacks dey everywhere

my advice: stay out and get you a girl with SENSE, she's obviously not ready to change

Gbam!
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by destiny4luv(m): 8:22pm On Feb 03
Bro I know the feelings, truth be told I once have similar experience not quite long. I only found out about her promiscuity and how loosed she was of recent. She logged into her Facebook account with my phone, because hers was down and forgot to log out before leaving my place, so I decided to visit Facebook only for me to discovered she didn't log out.

O boy what I saw I died and ressurected this girl have slept with 99% of the guys she has met on Facebook of which 70% are married men and i am not talking of 20 guys/men here. In some cases she sent her nude and funny enough in most cases she will be the one urging to meet these guys/men. Men my heart was broken that day. This was someone I have introduced to my family.

I called her the next day she came and started sharing crocodile tears and all that saying all that was her past and ever since she met me she have stop sleeping around, which I know is a big lie because I saw current chat of she asking guys when and how they can see. I just say no problem I forgive u, I just see her as a sex tool to me now because she is very good in bed until I am tired of d sex and always with condom. I just thank God I didn't contract any STD or STI after I went for check up.

Love nor fit clear wetin my eyes don see and truth be told most girls in Nigeria are like that. I nor say na guys good o but for a lady to have slept with such numbers of men is quite alarming. Bro if u can't bear walk away or just enjoy d sex while it last. Olosho always olosho they hardly change trust me. I am seeing someone else now.

4 Likes

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by CuntMiner(m): 9:42pm On Feb 03
destiny4luv:
Bro I know the feelings, truth be told I once have similar experience not quite long. I only found out about her promiscuity and how loosed she was of recent. She logged into her Facebook account with my phone, because hers was down and forgot to log out before leaving my place, so I decided to visit Facebook only for me to discovered she didn't log out.

O boy what I saw I died and ressurected this girl have slept with 99% of the guys she has met on Facebook of which 70% are married men and i am not talking of 20 guys/men here. In some cases she sent her nude and funny enough in most cases she will be the one urging to meet these guys/men. Men my heart was broken that day. This was someone I have introduced to my family.

I called her the next day she came and started sharing crocodile tears and all that saying all that was her past and ever since she met me she have stop sleeping around, which I know is a big lie because I saw current chat of she asking guys when and how they can see. I just say no problem I forgive u, I just see her as a sex tool to me now because she is very good in bed until I am tired of d sex and always with condom. I just thank God I didn't contract any STD or STI after I went for check up.

Love nor fit clear wetin my eyes don see and truth be told most girls in Nigeria are like that. I nor say na guys good o but for a lady to have slept with such numbers of men is quite alarming. Bro if u can't bear walk away or just enjoy d sex while it last. Olosho always olosho they hardly change trust me. I am seeing someone else now.
waooo,hows d lady ur seeing now?
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by AryEmber(f): 9:59pm On Feb 03
Dami12345:
@op

If you can't handle it.
Leave. There is a lady for you. That is looking for the exact guy you are.
She has secrets you would be comfortable with. And when you meet her you will wonder where she has been all this will.

Stop enduring poo from people who want to eat their cake and have it.
I can't take such things also hence I dont have a dark past.
I have been fair to my future partner.
I expect and won't settle for anything that come my way, unless it is what I want.
I totally love this. After I have endured and make sure my past is close to clean, I certainly can't settle for less just for the sake of it.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by destiny4luv(m): 10:07pm On Feb 03
CuntMiner:
waooo,hows d lady ur seeing now?

She is far better. And reserved type of person. Because of that experience I don't really hide anything from her and she is very free with me also. I even have the pass word to all her social media account. She is that free.

1 Like

Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by destiny4luv(m): 10:07pm On Feb 03
CuntMiner:
waooo,hows d lady ur seeing now?
Re: How Did You Cope With Your Partner Telling You All About Their Dark Pasts? by destiny4luv(m): 10:11pm On Feb 03
CuntMiner:
waooo,hows d lady ur seeing now?

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