₦airaland Forum

NubianQ, thanks.
You do have a point and i admit to being insensitive at times. We arent all perfect eh.

I'm not disrespecting tboy's sister, i'm only left to wonder what would have happened to her had tboy not been sharp enough to notice what she was going through even when she didnt want to talk about it. What if her brothers were living elsewhere?
From his post i gather she wasnt even married to him . . . why stay with an abusive man who didnt even marry you legally?

We cant keep giving excuses that these women are weak, yes some weakness is allowed but for how long? 6 yrs is too long IMHO to endure psychological abuse.
The problem is nigerian women have been conditioned to accept abuse as a normal part of marriage, its not! A man lays a hand on you pls leave . . . dont wait until it becomes a normal routine. At that stage its impossible to make that man see reason.

HR.hotness:
I'm not looking for a fight because I'm still in a good mood

But thats a very cold thing to say

no more fight, you can speak your mind.

It sounds cold but its the reality, i would have given her the benefit of the doubt if this were in Nigeria where the law is of no use but in the UK??
What prevented her from calling the police? Is it fear?
Until we begin to educate women that its not enough to merely sit down and sob about spousal abuse they'll never learn to stand up for themselves. What if tboy hadnt been keen on knowing what was really going on she'll still be in the UK today suffering in silence.

the vast majority of women would rather sit there hoping the guy will change someday until it is too late.

sheniqua:
Most studies on violence against women indicate that . . .

they can indicate anything they want, if the woman being abused wont speak out and get help she'll just end up another statistic.

NubianQ:
i am behind you, the only thing that would have been best was if the BASTARD was maimed! sometimes when i read comments from some people on nairaland i start to worry about our future generation.

they encourage things from women battery to bashing.

Maim the guy why?

Have no fear, most of those who yell loudly about protecting their sisters may end up being worse to their own wives. Its not by virtue of what you post. I would never hit my wife, i still wont support getting soldiers to maim a wife beater either.
Tboy's sister had ample chance to report to the police, she chose to bear the abuse in silence for 6yrs, its no one's fault but hers.

sheniqua:
the above are signs of a posessive and insecure man
from such turn away

1 Sheniqua Chapter 3 verse 19.

stillwater:
No wonder!!!!

what is there to wonder about?

sheniqua:
I'm a Christian too but in that case ,the soldiers were very necessary.
Believe me he'll think twice before hitting any other woman because he now knows what it feels like.

you also support getting soldiers to whip the fellow? How does that solve the problem?

hmmm . . . maybe its true i dont see things from your point of view because i have no sisters.

Painful swallowing, swollen lymph nodes (can be felt just under your jaw, close to your neck), you might feel a bit feverish too sometimes.

9jabeats:
4 downloads you have to be a member.
www.9jabeats.com

4 yrs isnt playing.

tboy1:
like is said myself earlier if you go through my post - i don't understand why the ladies can't just leave or even fight back/ or stand up to the guy?

Same question i ask myself. There's only so much you can take in the name of "saving my marriage" . . . if the guy is an unrepentant wife beater pls leave him alone to punch the wall in your absence.

D-reloaded:
well hopefully from what she has seen, aka her mom's reaction to the situation. She too wont ever allow herself to be in such a suituation ever again. Perhaps she has the "backbone" now

It doesnt always follow. No one changes their personality overnight.

D-reloaded:
Dont know why you people are acting like jungle justice isnt rampant in Nigeria

and so we should excuse the use of jungle justice?

D-reloaded:
All of that is fine until it's involves a female getting beaten up 24/7 and her mother does what any angry and caring mother WOULD do and all of a sudden the act is "barbaric and immoral". Abegi!

are we assuming that a "caring" mother is one who brings soldiers to defend a daughter who cant open her mouth to report an abusive husband to the police? No ma'am, that is an over-indulgent mother. My own cousins are brought up to stand up for themselves not sit there waiting to be delivered from abusive men.
You seem to have a warped idea of "caring" mother, she's not necessarily always angry.

D-reloaded:
I've always said I don't expect people without sisters to understand such things. Alot of them just say stuff and just don't get it because they werent raised around women.

Uh huh. There we go again. Its not rocket science really, if i had a sister i wont be going to her husband's house to beat him up. The best i can do is advice her, ultimately the choice is hers to make. Problems are not necessarily solved by being verbally and physically abusive.

my tongue is paining me! That was so funny.

you sure you dont have a sore throat?

tboy1:
Totally and utterly rubbish!!!

How many girlfriend/wives do you see pressing charges against their partners? Like i said if my mum did not get involved she'll still be there with him getting her ass whopped everyday.

You can see it however you like. I know its difficult for you to understand why your sister stayed for so long in an abusive relationship.
The fact that not many gfs/wives press charges against their partners does not mean it is not the right thing to do. What if your sister gets into a similar relationship in future, she'd be waiting for you and her mother's soldiers again to save her?

when is she going to grow a spine and learn to stand up for herself?

Yoola2007:
Let me start by telling you a true life story. There are these two boys john and Paul from the same parent. They both graduated from a Nigerian university. John studied Electrical/Electronics and graduated with second class upper while Paul managed to graduate with a 3rd class in chemistry. John immediately got a white collar job in an IT firm in Lagos and since then has been moving from one IT firm to another. He presently works as a Manager in one of the GSM companies in Naija.

As for paul, he did not even bother to look for Job , all he did was to start a small business. 15 years after they both graduated, it may interest you to know that paul`s business has grown so big that he can afford to pay his brothers salary for ten years without feeling it. Paul started with selling of Cocoa produce and now he is a mega exporer of cocoa and also boast of an haulage company with about 100 trucks in their profile just to mention few of paul`s achievement.

Its all a matter of developing the right mindsets about life. You are what you think you are. Someone once said and i quote "the most successful is not really the most qualified but the most aggresive" you will eventually place yourself where you belong by the type of attitude you display. My advice for you therefore is to cultivate the right attitude to life and your third class will not even be a limiting factor.

All the best.

Paul is simply one of millions who wont be so fortunate.

good points by PEIN, the only advantage is the Edwards delegates. I think Edwards is simply positioning himself for the vice-presidency slot to whoever ends up being the nominee.

oyb:
hmm. . . the self described amazon has crawled out of the underworld to do what she keeps attemptng to do - malign me

i think i need to start my own attenion seeking thread - dumb farting female nairalanders

hotfunmi
funmifire
needlelady
topbooty
osunamazon

(those are the ones i can remember)

perhaps , considering the nature of her vmonikers, i shoule rename it 'insecure female nairalanders'

some people have posted their er lucious booty, and fantastic 'mama'(thats the doctor's term) on their profiles, so we know they are hot
you on the other hand, keep making oblique refernces to your 'beauty' whle starting threads that espouse your biterness at guys obssesion with genuine hot chicks( probably because you are in reality dullfunmi/omegabooty)

osunamazon does suit you - since the amazons are warrior women - big brawny, and unfeminine

. . . and toothpicklady/funmismoke/osunhousehelp

Busta:
hmmm . . like what?
how else would u suggest she deals with the situation?
Go to church and keep praying for her husband to change?

See response to t-Boy above.

tboy1:
overly paranoid?? now david you're talking bullshit.

can you tell me 1 way logical ways of solving such issues , where a lady cannot leave the man that is kicking her ass almost everyday? where you have to go home thinking if you'll be hit today and knowing you can't do anything about it?where the kid has to watch the mum getting beat up - the school once called my sister that the kids in school don't like playing with my nephew because he's always whooping the kid's ass in school and gives the scratched on their face-one of them had to have a word with my sister.I don't know where he's learning to do that but im 90% sure its from home.

Bullshit? maybe maybe not.

Your sister lived in the UK with this man for 6yrs . . . didnt she know the way to the nearest police station?
Did anyone tie her legs to that house and declare she must never leave?

There are several ways to look at this, going to beat up the fellow in his home solves no problems but simply brands you all as being only marginally better than him.

If i get at you ehn.

I will almost kill you today.

Shebi you know i will tell your father.

tboy1:
i wonder o, did u see anywhere i said she physically attacked him in my post

Your mom got soldiers to go beat up her daughter's boyfriend . . . that in my book is totally unecessary. I can only imagine what she did to her husband. I dont excuse husband beaters but there are more logical ways of solving such issues without getting overly paranoid.
We are in a generation were we now think women who exhibit wild behaviour are said to be "standing up for themselves".

just keep creating states until every man is a state unto himself.

D-reloaded:
tboy, I get the sense that yiour mom respects herself alot. I bow to her o

by being violent in return? i beg to disagree. A right can never two wrongs make.

Good one Imhotep, i never imagined it that way.

Frizy:
4Him
Your questions usually amaze me because you don't understand a jack about All'ah or even the scriptures. Do you except God to talk of any other people prophets in the Ko'ran when He sent all of them for the same message at different times? Why does Jesus refer to David and Moses in the Bible?

Rather, that question puts to question your noise making about Ishmael being the child or promise, why would al'lah give him the promise and ignore him outright for 4000 yrs in favour of the younger son?

Frizy:
The arabs had no warner before Mu'hammed and this noble prophet is the seal and head of the Imams(among all the prophets).Do the Jews truely have prophets professing their religion? Or was Abraham a Jew?

Abraham was not a prophet . . . u people dont seem to have any criteria at all for naming prophets . . . seems the only rule is just about ANY biblical character that you could manipulate to learn some credence to the falsehood of i'slam.

Frizy:
Please mention the name of a prophet in your bible that claim he was Jewish in faith or Christian.

We know for a start that Moses, Elisha, Elijah, Samuel, Jeremiah, Isaiah, John the Baptist, Paul, Peter, James, John, Micah . . . were all jewish.
Here is the problem though, you keep dishonestly reverting to your "name any prophet who was a jew" drivel. Can you name ANY prophet who was of the tribe of Ishmael? surely al'lah must have sent just one.

Frizy:
If you're telling the truth. The point is all this men you say were Jews never practised the Jewish customs, they never called anyone a begotten son of God, neither do they say anything contrary to Isl'am.

Is this man alright? Moses NEVER practiced Jewish customs? Who wrote the books of Deuteronomy, Leveticus?

Frizy:
Why? They were all Mus'lims-they worshipped one God and sort no intercession from any except God Himself.

Again back to the default lies that have NO PROOF.

Frizy:
God said: We sent you (O Mu'hammed) as a warner and giver of glad tidings.
Another says: We never sent a Messenger to this folk(Arabs), So warn them against a painful punishment, lest they should say:"We had no warner or bringer of glad tidings". And now that We sent them a Messenger most of them turn away!

Where is the proof of all this "we sent we sent". Why were NO prophets sent to the tribe of Ishmael?

SeanT21:
another thing is, after a long day at school, i will come home from hangin with my friends ready to watch some TV. while watching TV, my dad will come home from work, assuming to himself that i been watching TV for hours and tell me to turn the TV off and do homework after i tell him i have no homework, he says i should read a book, i then tell him that i have no book to read so he could leave me the hell alone, but guess what, he tells me to go and sleep. He will make sure that i do it. Plus if i don't, there is a lot of fighting.


The last but not least is being on the phone. When my friends call the house, my dad gets angry for no reason and tell them that i am not home. He says the phone should be use for business not gossiping.

sounds like you got yourself a great step father there.

What did you say was wrong with him again?

olabowale dont let us bother with most of your drivel . . . just ask yourself . . .

olabowale:
Don't for get that you said that the Children of Israel rejected Jesus as their Messiah, because they thought or they were expecting a Messiah on a chariot. I only use Moses to say that with all the miracles that he performed, he never came to them as a warrior. But Jesus came just in the same way that all the prophets before him came to their nations. Come to think of it Moses was rejected before he was accepted. Jesus was accepted by few, except that the majority rejected him. And he came in the same meek way and needing support and followers like every prophet before him.

too much noise about the children of Israel, Moses, Jesus Christ e.t.c. WHAT BECAME OF THE "CHILD OF PROMISE" ISHMAEL? WHERE ARE HIS OWN PROPHETS?

Does ofada rice smell? I think liftedone has purchased toxic rice.

not yet. virulent racism is on the rise and Clinton is doing all she can to stoke it, its the only card she has left to deal.

merge:
If not for my parents, I would have throw them in Niger River

did someone threaten to throw you in the river niger?

Uche2nna:
Hate to burst your bubble, mate. But word on the street has it that ofada rice is even more expensive than foreign rice. Tho, I cannot fathom why

Are you kidding? It used to be the cheapest food you could lay your hands upon those days. Anyway, things are upside down.

D-reloaded:
The hell is ofada rice

Locally grown Nigerian rice. Short grained, full of stones, usually cooks much faster. I think its grown in the Bendel area.

HR.hotness:
@ 4Him

a very special thank you

HR.hotness:
hey its my birthday, i'm in too good a mood to fight,,,, even with u babes  

e-hugs are in order for today . . .  
Happy birthday!!