DukeofNZ:


Kaziah, how far!

UyaiIncomparabl:



Hmmm. Touché. You have a point there. Perhaps, I'm just being driven by youthful exuberance.

Airtimex:



My dear from what you wrote up there, your reasons for wanting to breakup is you feel he is restricting you and he is affecting your spiritual life which I don't think you are.

With such reason(s) I don't think any relationship or marriage will last more than 1 yr.

My dear at some point in your life, you must let go of some comforts to achieve something more meaningful or attain a greater height....learn to sacrifice

AmConfused:


you just said what I said with vocabulary though. I Don hear u sha

MissRaine69:

You can disagree it’s allowed. What you describe is pure misery to me. Hell actually.
I am pragmatic in how I look at life, I accept and I act. I don’t keep trying when it’s obvious there are no signs of life. It’s like CPR on a dead person.

zicoraads:

This is very disrespectful and never solves anything. Rather, it only leads to more bitterness and keeping of grudges in mind.

It's even better to argue about issues, and eventually come to a compromise, than do this.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Every frigging day! The friction is just too much. We have tooooo much issues I can't deal. He's too argumentative, defensive and thinks he's better than you in all ramifications, never agrees to your opinion, Infact he knows too much. I'm like that too, and that causes too much friction. I don't want two perfectionists as partners. I'm seriously pressed. We have too many differences than similarities, and that's not too good.

But then, I think he's the most sincerest, blunt, truthful and faithful person I've ever known and will ever know in my entire life. I don't think I'll ever meet someone as sincere and true to me as he is. I think he's the best, truth be told. He's literally my best friend and supporter, but I think he deserves better, maybe not better as you may think, but someone better to accept his perfectionism and flaws too, likewise me.

I don't know what to do.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Every frigging day! The friction is just too much. We have tooooo much issues I can't deal. He's too argumentative, defensive and thinks he's better than you in all ramifications, never agrees to your opinion, Infact he knows too much. I'm like that too, and that causes too much friction. I don't want two perfectionists as partners. I'm seriously pressed. We have too many differences than similarities, and that's not too good.

But then, I think he's the most sincerest, blunt, truthful and faithful person I've ever known and will ever know in my entire life. I don't think I'll ever meet someone as sincere and true to me as he is. I think he's the best, truth be told. He's literally my best friend and supporter, but I think he deserves better, maybe not better as you may think, but someone better to accept his perfectionism and flaws too, likewise me.
From the look of things,you guys can still work it out if there is understanding. For you to have someone that is so truthful to you is a plus.

Calm down,discuss your little difference and see things change for good.
I don't know what to do.

AmConfused:


you just told me what I needed to hear.
Lil problem is that this guy is good! like really really good. he's nice, caring, hardly ever quarrels, quick to apologize and always fight to keep me in his life.
many times I've tried to let go but he go through great lengths to get me back.

please tell me, what kinda approach should I use to break up with someone like this? it's hard u know, especially as he has done nothing to offend me

AmConfused:


you just told me what I needed to hear.
Lil problem is that this guy is good! like really really good. he's nice, caring, hardly ever quarrels, quick to apologize and always fight to keep me in his life.
many times I've tried to let go but he go through great lengths to get me back.

please tell me, what kinda approach should I use to break up with someone like this? it's hard u know, especially as he has done nothing to offend me

CreamyBanana:


i go soon marry am. i love her like die. i never dey ok financially but i don save wella and i go marry am this year.

AmConfused:


maybe I can agree if it's pretty obvious they're no signs..
but more often than not, there are never sure signs if a relationship is gonna end well or not.
but that's for me sha, maybe u have special X-ray eyes to see into your relationship. I salute you for that

MissRaine69:

But you can’t have your cake and eat it as well. This is what the person is trying to say to you. Why are you waiting for him to offend you to find a reason? So if he is the perfect gentleman for the whole of 2019 and you still feel the way you do now that’s 3 years gone? Can you see why you are stuck in the situation you are in?


You are being unfair to him and you know you are. By your account you are not going to marry this guy. What emotional connection do you have for this guy? None
Does everything feel rehearsed or you feel like you are just going through the motions? Yes
Do you enjoy his company? Do you actually have quality time together? Do you miss his absences? No
So which reason are you looking for exactly?
The only reason you need is being honest with him and with yourself and you are struggling with both. No one can do this for you or tell you exactly what to do.
This is on you, pointers have been given by a few people though.

CreamyBanana:


na so, boss.

AmConfused:


you just told me what I needed to hear.
Lil problem is that this guy is good! like really really good. he's nice, caring, hardly ever quarrels, quick to apologize and always fight to keep me in his life.
many times I've tried to let go but he go through great lengths to get me back.

please tell me, what kinda approach should I use to break up with someone like this? it's hard u know, especially as he has done nothing to offend me

Airtimex:



Hahaha...people dey nairaland ooo.

My dear your reasons for wanting to break up is not enough. I don't really know how to advice you on this. You desperately want to break an innocent hrt. Lol

till the love dies, stick with him....No place is better my dear, and you can't remain single forever

LordKO:


Strategist extraordinaire. I'll soon come and borrow a strategy for something special from you.

Actually, lasting harmony is the last thing to expect where two domineering people, who're in a relationship.

Ranchhoddas:
Na mumu you want. Go buy dog.

Please don't respond.

clive2u:
never thought of it bt she broke up with me anyway


ps: am an arsenal fan, we get patience and nothing hurts us so much again

pocohantas:


Hope no be strategy to knack sha.

Very true, but he seems to be more unrepentant than the OP. She has more chances of changing.

AmConfused:


"till the love dies" I've thought of that approach too So no one gets hurt. but is it the best approach? what if it takes yearrrsss for the love to die? I go just waste my time and his.. plus the time I for Don use find Mr Right and develop my life wella

AmConfused:

Lwkmd Eyaaa.. that kind thing. no wonder you sound perfectly fine.
sorry u hear, I hope you're okay.

AmConfused:



exactly. you're very right. You just described perfectly the situation I'm in.
so now I'm supposed to let go of someone that's been completely good to me for two years for no just cause other than the way I feel. Easier said than done ☹️☹️
I actually do love and care for the guy.. just that he loves me more while sometimes I'm just indifferent.

I've tried to be honest to him, giving him reasons why we can't work. for where? every reason I give he gives another to debunk mine. he desperately wants me to stay and the way he treats me right dissolves my defences.

UyaiIncomparabl:


It's really hard.

I love him too much, but then I think love isn't enough. What amazes me is his lack of zeal to want to change. I've done all that I can. I admit, I have a lot of freaking flaws too, we are both perfectionists and it's too bad.

zicoraads:

So you are also claiming to be a perfectionist?

Did you even check the meaning of the word at all?!

pocohantas:


Have you tried keeping quiet when he talks. Allow him talk o, then you smile and say "okay".

UyaiIncomparabl:


Zicoraads, mind your business, ok?

Yes, I'm a perfectionist. Or is there another meaning to it?

zicoraads:
This is rich coming from you.
I'll soon have your time; very soon.