Batholomeu673:

Lol I’m Liverpool fan. In fact Chelsea fall my hand

Check my signature to migrate to Canada

4-0 by 24th minute. When it is not Huddersfield they are playing

ImaIma1:


Only in Africa...with some cultural ideas that promotes bullying by elders.

Like the Africans in this video clip?!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYFI1-FTw94

Though, a movie. Its a reflection of what happens too in their society.

Mancala:



This is absolutely true. But I blame the man and his lack of wisdom and foresight for allowing this to happen. If I were in his shoes, I would have allowed my Mum to depart first, then invite the irate woman in to make her case. What good could have come out of a stranger flinging accusations at your wife in front of your mother who already bears a grudge on the matter at hand? I guess you haven't been married for long huh? An experienced man can smell trouble coming a mile off and change course to avoid it.

The truth is that the case was none of the mother's business and she was not directly provoked by her DIL. Something that is not major.

What if she witnessed her son and DIL fighting and she insulted him? She would have cut cane and flogged her.

Seriously people should know their boundaries... young or old.

I have been married for a few years. I just don't give my in-laws the allowance to insult me.

WORDWORLD:



Like the Africans in this video clip?!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYFI1-FTw94

Though, a movie. Its a reflection of what happens too in their society.

I don't understand. In that movie, both of them were equally wrong too. The MIL was not absorbed of blame because she was elderly.

ImaIma1:


The truth is that the case was none of the mother's business and she was not directly provoked by her DIL. Something that is not major.

What if she witnessed her son and DIL fighting and she insulted him? She would have cut cane and flogged her.

Seriously people should know their boundaries... young or old.

I have been married for a few years. I just don't give my in-laws the allowance to insult me.

True words. Mama should have excused herself and left, or kept silent, even if the son did not ensure she left first. It was none of her business. Mama should never have slapped her daughter in law. It was extremely disrespectful. An assault on the wife is an assault on the entire family. So he sent away the wife that was giving him transport money to go to work? I'm guessing his Mum gives him pocket money now huh?
The man is inexperienced. His extended family is too much involved in his immediate family affairs. That is a recipe for disaster.

funmisticqueen:
post it Na. Unfortunate somebody that still thinks he can be useful in life. @lightqueen You needed to see the way he chats telling me to come to ibadan to see him and I told him that I can't come on that deathtrap of a road unless it is for business.

Ignore pls I hate to see such bashings on nairaland, I'd to go through all the comments because you gave me a mention. Pls I beg you.

Mancala:


True words. Mama should have excused herself and left, or kept silent, even if the son did not ensure she left first. It was none of her business. Mama should never have slapped her daughter in law. It was extremely disrespectful. An assault on the wife is an assault on the entire family. So he sent away the wife that was giving him transport money to go to work? I'm guessing his Mum gives him pocket money now huh?
The man is inexperienced. His extended family is too much involved in his immediate family affairs. That is a recipe for disaster.

Most people don't see this. It is really extremely disrespectful to her DIL and shows that the husband doesn't have the say in his house.

There are good MILs...many of them that I have met. But there are also those that make their DILs lives difficult just because they can.

emeraldknytt:
You are a môron. Violence begets violence? Really?. What i know is that when two come as one, their parents are parents to both of them. The impulse from the mother was simply to chide her. This is what a responsible parent would do to a child that is being stupid irrespective of his or her age. I have seen a mother slap his grown up son cos he hit his wife in her presence. What do we call that? Violence begets Violence? Stupid talk.

Never talked down on a mod but you, you are very unbelievable.... Gaddam!

You are uncouth and illbred. If you can't pass across your opinions without being rude then may the seven plagues of Egypt fall upon you. Bastard

Ishilove:

You are uncouth and illbred. If you can't pass across your opinions without being rude then may the seven plagues of Egypt fall upon. Bastard

emeraldknytt this reply is a very good example of "VIOLENCE BEGETS VIOLENCE".

Why you sef go dey call person moro'n haba.

ImaIma1:


I don't understand. In that movie, both of them were equally wrong too. The MIL was not absorbed of blame because she was elderly.

Mancala:



This is absolutely true. But I blame the man and his lack of wisdom and foresight for allowing this to happen. If I were in his shoes, I would have allowed my Mum to depart first, then invite the irate woman in to make her case. What good could have come out of a stranger flinging accusations at your wife in front of your mother who already bears a grudge on the matter at hand? I guess you haven't been married for long huh? An experienced man can smell trouble coming a mile off and change course to avoid it.

he should let His mum depart first? Did he know what was coming?

teresafaith:
The foolish woman deserves more than the slap.

What even gave her the gut to slap the poor girl in the first place, I swear if I'm the girl I'll break her head and if her stupid son tries any rubbish, e go follow im mama chop.

Arrant nonsense

Mtcheewww!!

all d guys in the house...abeg make una just shift for this girl make she dey carry her curse dey go outside.

teresafaith:
The foolish woman deserves more than the slap.

What even gave her the gut to slap the poor girl in the first place, I swear if I'm the girl I'll break her head and if her stupid son tries any rubbish, e go follow im mama chop.

Arrant nonsense

Mtcheewww!!

I go just kee you finish........the guy dull sha


How can he not know how the wife fund the birthday ?

funmisticqueen:
this kind of advice is why men will continue to think women are dumb.


The MIL had no such right to slap the woman and the man's response shows that he would never have defended his wife even if she didn't slap her MIL back. Although the woman should have apologised immediately for slapping an elder, but the way elders of nowadays conduct themselves shows that they do not deserve the respect we were taught to give them. This is not to say that one shouldn't be kind to an elder.

I will only show an elder respect when they treat themselves with such unless there is proof that they are mentally ill.

After all what did the elders do to your country when they had a choice to change things for the better.

And the scenario paint the wife as somebody with brain right ? She is earning way better yet can't fund her own idea without putting her own family to shame and ridicule......

You...................

Korllami007:


he should let His mum depart first? Did he know what was coming?

I quote the OP:
"As we were seeing my mum off, we met her friend coming in from the gate. She started shouting that we have been avoiding her and that we were not coming to her shop to buy things since then. She also said she has seen my wife go to other shops to buy. I was lost in words and I advised her to calm down so that we could talk. We all went back inside the house to listen to her."



Classic rookie mistake! He should have seen trouble coming. Nothing good could have come out of this situation. Someone comes to your house and starts berating you and your wife for a situation that your mother is already displeased with your wife about. Your mum is already leaving and you decide to let her come back in the house ? Sir, would you have done the same? Best case outcome is that your mother is silent and hears all your business and begins to dislike your wife even more. Even if the mothers assualt on the wife was only verbal, it is still not in the long term best interest of the family. How can a mother assualt a mans wife, in their home, in the presence of a stranger? A man should learn to avoid trouble whenever possible. Sufficient unto the day are the evils thereof.

AmazonTopaz:
Mother in law na amebo woman.
How can you slap a grown adult.
The man self is silly who even owns the house that he has the audacity to send the woman packing.That is why I must have my own house or we both own it so that nonsense like sending anybody out would not see the light of the day.

The mother in law got what age deserve for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The daughter in law slapping her was the reaction she asked for.

Do you think a lady like this wife can own her a house.?........if she own the house the op would have been the house boy in it........silly wife

Mancala:



I quote the OP:
"As we were seeing my mum off, we met her friend coming in from the gate. She started shouting that we have been avoiding her and that we were not coming to her shop to buy things since then. She also said she has seen my wife go to other shops to buy. I was lost in words and I advised her to calm down so that we could talk. We all went back inside the house to listen to her."



Classic rookie mistake! He should have seen trouble coming. Nothing good could have come out of this situation. Someone comes to your house and starts berating you and your wife for a situation that your mother is already displeased with your wife about. Your mum is already leaving and you decide to let her come back in the house ? Sir, would you have done the same? Best case outcome is that your mother is silent and hears all your business and begins to dislike your wife even more. Even if the mothers assualt on the wife was only verbal, it is still not in the long term best interest of the family. How can a mother assualt a mans wife, in their home, in the presence of a stranger? A man should learn to avoid trouble whenever possible. Sufficient unto the day are the evils thereof.

But it will be a stupidity on the husband part to tell his mum to excuse them in that scenario when the to his mother before that's impossible. Although am not supporting the MIL slapping her DIL but she shouldn't have retaliated by slapping her back, the wife has ignited her husband family wahala on her home. How do you think the husband brothers, sisters will react when they hear the news that their brother's wife slapped their mother? They won't even think if their mothers is at fault or not. Think about it yourself sir your brother's wife slaps your mother am pretty sure you will never feel good about it because you will think she disrespects your whole family by slapping your mother. The wife just made a grave mistake .

To me the marriage has hit the rock because the husband's mother and the family will never forget the action and will be looking for a way kick her out even if he takes her back.

ImaIma1:


I like the fact that the MIL got the slap though so that she will thread carefully next time and with others. Though I would not have slapped her.

Elders should try to mind their business especially when it is not theirs. They should not try to milk the fact that they are respected because of their age.

I am not from the tribe where they worship elders unnecessary. You only get the respect you earn and deserve and not because of your white hair.

You've tried so much to make sense but.......

Be sincere in answering this question. If your brother's wife slapped your mom or brag before you that she can slap your mom and heaven will not fall, will you say all this thrash ?


It is even before not talk than all this nonsense you've been typing

kazyhm:



You've tried so much to make sense but.......

Be sincere in answering this question. If your brother's wife slapped your mom or brag before you that she can slap your mom and heaven will not fall, will you say all this thrash ?


It is even before not talk than all this nonsense you've been typing

Did this lady in this scenario brag that she would slap the woman and heaven will not fall? Or did she slap the woman because she wanted to, or because it was a retaliation? Because you are talking of a different scenario.

I will ignore your first and last statement. Try to disagree or argue objectively without insults. We can agree to disagree. That is how mature people communicate.

Korllami007:



But it will be a stupidity on the husband part to tell his mum to excuse them in that scenario that's impossible. Although am not supporting the MIL slapping her DIL but she shouldn't have retaliated by slapping her back, the wife has ignited her husband family wahala on her home. How do you think the husband brothers, sisters will react when they hear the news that their brother's wife slapped their mother?. Think about it yourself sir your brother's wife slaps your mother am pretty sure you will never feel good about it because you will think she disrespects your whole family by slapping your mother. The wife just made a grave mistake .

To me the marriage has hit the rock because the husband's mother and the family will never forget the action and will be looking for a way kick her out even if he takes her back.

What you call stupid is wisdom in the eyes of others. Why can't a man tell his mum to excuse him to go take care of his business? So you would rather get into an incontrollable situation than nip it in the bud before it develops all because of the fear of your mothers reaction? In times like this, you choose the lesser of two evils. This matter is absolutely none of the mothers business so even if the man did not do so, the mother should have excused herself. I make no excuses for either the mum or the daughter in law, but I primarily blame the man. Again, what good can come of a stranger berating your wife in front of your mother? Is it a good thing for your mother to have a bad impresssion of your wife? Nobody is perfect, we all have faults. A man should always protect his wife's reputation because it is intertwined with his and it's the right thing to do.

I am really irritated with the way the OP wrote his story. He never even said anything positive about his wife. Even when he said she had been giving him money for transportation to go to work, which is a good thing, he said it in a negative fashion. He brought this situation upon himself by not controlling it before it got out of control.

ImaIma1:


Did this lady in this scenario brag that she would slap the woman and heaven will not fall? Or did she slap the woman because she wanted to, or because it was a retaliation? Because you are talking of a different scenario.

I will ignore your first and last statement. Try to disagree or argue objectively without insults. We can agree to disagree. That is how mature people communicate.

OK....mature people.......

Answer the question because she actually did slapped your mom.........

I only put the brag scenario to put a prior warning of what your brother's wife could do.

kazyhm:


OK....mature people.......

Answer the question because she actually did slapped your mom.........

I only put the brag scenario to put a prior warning of what your brother's wife could do.

My mum is not troublesome and will always mind her business especially in her son's marriage. So that could never happen.

If my mum were the troublesome type who doesn't mind her business and goes to her son's house and slaps his wife, I would really blame my brother for giving our mum such rights and blame her for overstepping her boundaries.

Then I will tell the wife that she should have had some respect for her husband and his mum enough to restrain herself.

funmisticqueen:
post it Na. Unfortunate somebody that still thinks he can be useful in life. @lightqueen You needed to see the way he chats telling me to come to ibadan to see him and I told him that I can't come on that deathtrap of a road unless it is for business.

this is serious

Volumetriceff7:

Shut up. I would never invite an ugly broke ass bitch to my place. Hope you are preparing for exams. No go fail because of nairaland. We no send you oooo. That’s your unilag I’d card below, a broke medicine student who would soon be advised to withdraw

use Brain Na. Even If Na Small

Volumetriceff7:

It’s just normal WhatsApp chat ooo. It’s just introduction. I didn’t flirt with her. I only asked her to prove to me that she’s a student and i asked her to send her ID card

that Is Why You Decided To Use her Id Card To Make A Mess Of Yourself

ImaIma1:


My mum is not troublesome and will always mind her business especially in her son's marriage. So that could never happen.

If my mum were the troublesome type who doesn't mind her business and goes to her son's house and slaps his wife, I would really blame my brother for giving our mum such rights and blame her for overstepping her boundaries.

Then I will tell the wife that she should have had some respect for her husband and his mum enough to restrain herself.

OK....reasonably sensible.......

Should have said this all the while dragging.... The right to slap and the effrontery to retaliate

Alrt

Biglittlelois:
Another bashing has started again, ladies be careful of who you get involved with here, it's all about instinct and sense of judgement.


Cc. Onesentence

i Thought This Was Suppose To Be A Thread For mother Slapping wife. But Na Another Thing I De See.



Btw. You Ladies Should Not Use Other Guys To Judge Us All. Some Of Us Are Looking For Wife So Dont Put Sand In Our Garri

funmisticqueen:
better still one should not get involved at all.


To all the frustrated niggas out there,it means we have less reason to reply your pm.

No. Better still you choose to the wrong PM

Reason I usually blame girls for getting hurt because you choose the person that hurt you.


You won't tell me his was the first PM you ever had on this forum.......you choose wrongly and then warn others using your poor taste as a yardstick......

kazyhm:


OK....reasonably sensible.......

Should have said this all the while dragging.... The right to slap and the effrontery to retaliate

Alrt

Dragging what? I was just not ok with people who were trying to absorb the MIL of any blame because she is his mum or elderly

ImaIma1:


Dragging what? I was just not ok with people who were trying to absorb the MIL of any blame because she is his mum or elderly

One thing is synonymous to Africa.......inherited culture...... You can't wish it away from people's perspective



The issue here is endurance for a lasting family bond........ Her angry retaliation has actually put question mark on her respect for her husband and her love and acceptance of her husband family........because she has added petrol to fire and her children will feel the heat as well


She also have pushed her husband in a situation that needs maturity and wisdom.........


But 2 years birthday shouldn't have cause this if she really respect, love and have accepted her husband situation........ Instead of her getting in debt just for a birthday the kid will only remember by pictures........why not get in debt to help her husband be better..........

kazyhm:


One thing is synonymous to Africa.......inherited culture...... You can't wish it away from people's perspective



The issue here is endurance for a lasting family bond........ Her angry retaliation has actually put question mark on her respect for her husband and her love and acceptance of her husband family........because she has added petrol to fire and her children will feel the heat as well


She also have pushed her husband in a situation that needs maturity and wisdom.........


But 2 years birthday shouldn't have cause this if she really respect, love and have accepted her husband situation........ Instead of her getting in debt just for a birthday the kid will only remember by pictures........why not get in debt to help her husband be better..........

The truth is that the issue wasn't something that big, and it was blown out of proportion. The MIL actually caused all this problem. If only she minded her business and told them bye bye and left them to sort their issues, all this would not be going on.

The man didn't marry his wife for his family to be slapping her at will. She didn't leave her father's house where her parents most likely don't beat her as an adult to come and start collecting slaps in her matrimonial home.

When in-laws have a say in a marriage, that is the beginning of problems.