She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same - Romance (2)

Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,016 members, 7,818,004 topics. Date: Sunday, 05 May 2024 at 03:31 AM

She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same (37502 Views)

She Shot Her Shot (and He Said Yes!) Pictures included / Lady Marries Lawyer Of Her Boyfriend Who Shot Her Sugar Daddy Dead / She Shot Her Shot And It Ended In Marriage (photos) (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Josh44s(m): 3:55pm On Mar 05, 2019

Fvck the damn bitxh angry

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by molybdenum0012: 3:56pm On Mar 05, 2019

Dear Op,

You have done the right thing by turning her down, politely.

You just have to tell her you are not ready for anything serious for now, that you only can be her friend. Do not be apologetic about it. After some time, her eyes will clear and the feeling she has for you will go down.

This is exactly what I did when a lady I did not have feeling for asked me out. We are still friends till today though.

Meanwhile

Is your child struggling with school work? Do you need a personalized tutor to help improve your grade in school?

Check my signature below and book a tutor anywhere in Nigeria

1 Like

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 3:58pm On Mar 05, 2019

Pipswick:
Hi Nairaland family,

I'm sorry I had to create this account to keep me anonymous.

I need any help I can get on this issue please. So this morning this lady that works for a man I do business with woke me with a call at 5:37am today and opened up to me that she's fallen in love with me. I barely know her. We've just met at the boss's place thrice and I was on my business mission. We gisted small the last time I was around in January. And she was telling me about how her ex broke her heart and all, I was adroit, empathized and put myself in her shoes and all.

Told her to be more outgoing and more friendly cos she seemed to have shrank into her shell after her break up. After that day the calls increased, checking up on me and normal stuff. I reciprocated cos I felt it was normal for two matured folks.

The problem is that I don't really feel the same. Infact it was the least thing I expected this morning. Well I wouldn't bruise her ego, I respect her for her courage and I told her so. She said her problem was that the person might not feel the same and she was right. If I have to have anything with her it wouldn't lead to anything serious. but deep inside her she needs something serious.

Well during the course of the call just so I don't shatter her already fragile frame, I mumbled to her "well I like you too and I respect you, especially for your courage". I don't want her to misinterpret my comment. Please I can be her friend but we wouldn't kick anything serious, at least not on my side. It wasn't what I could relate over the phone. I stay in one of the the west African countries and she's in Nigeria. How do I tell her my stand without breaking her again when I'm in Nigeria?

Guys help!!! I will be in the comments section.

Mods please help me

And this poo made front page?

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 3:58pm On Mar 05, 2019

Please, don't include yourself in her prayer list.
Just be cool, drop your communication level with her and at any possible time verbally tell her "a good man will come for you". She will indirectly know you are not into her.

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by advocate666: 4:00pm On Mar 05, 2019

Chai, see people rejecting free pussy.

I see the human race going extinct soon the way people are going nowadays.: #metoo, gays everywhere, etc.

1 Like

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by bamasite(m): 4:00pm On Mar 05, 2019

Say the truth in a nice way!

It is not always easy, when like me, you don't want the person to feel hurt. But in the final analysis, it is the best.

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by yanabasee(m): 4:00pm On Mar 05, 2019

Offpoint1:
What's so hard about you turning her offer down? why don't just grow some balls and tella you not interested in whatsoever is that she seeks.

When a guy let his intentions known to a lady, if she isn't interested she let you know instanta, but when reverse is the case... we got the "I don't wanna hurt her feelings" "How do I turn her offer down without hurting her feelings" and so on... What a bullcrap, so women don't give a fûck about how you guys feels to?

Sorry, I'm not interested. let's just maintain the friendship lane.... simple as DVD

Op said he's matured but couldn't state out his mind in a matured way to her...

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by ElsonMorali: 4:02pm On Mar 05, 2019

As tough as it sounds you should have told her point blank, straight up albeit nicely that you don't feel the same way.

Leading her on all in the name of not wanting to hurt her will eventually hurt her even more deeply than if you'd been blunt the first time.

Now, you're going to turn into a jerk with her cos she's going to wonder why you led her on.

Don't get into a relationship out of pity. If you're going to let her down, do so gently.

You could tell her anything to make it sting less.

You could tell her that you just broke off an engagement with your fiancée and you're trying to get over that and you're not exactly ready to jump into a relationship yet. Or you could let her know that long distance relationship is hard and you don't have any plans to go back to Nigeria for a while.

If you phrase your excuse in a realistic manner and you make it sound like it's your issue and not her, them she won't feel undesirable. She will respect you as an honourable man.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 4:02pm On Mar 05, 2019

Tell her outrightly that you do not want her
Very simple!!!

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Lexusgs430: 4:02pm On Mar 05, 2019

Pipswick:
Hi Nairaland family,

I'm sorry I had to create this account to keep me anonymous.

I need any help I can get on this issue please. So this morning this lady that works for a man I do business with woke me with a call at 5:37am today and opened up to me that she's fallen in love with me. I barely know her. We've just met at the boss's place thrice and I was on my business mission. We gisted small the last time I was around in January. And she was telling me about how her ex broke her heart and all, I was adroit, empathized and put myself in her shoes and all.

Told her to be more outgoing and more friendly cos she seemed to have shrank into her shell after her break up. After that day the calls increased, checking up on me and normal stuff. I reciprocated cos I felt it was normal for two matured folks.

The problem is that I don't really feel the same. Infact it was the least thing I expected this morning. Well I wouldn't bruise her ego, I respect her for her courage and I told her so. She said her problem was that the person might not feel the same and she was right. If I have to have anything with her it wouldn't lead to anything serious. but deep inside her she needs something serious.

Well during the course of the call just so I don't shatter her already fragile frame, I mumbled to her "well I like you too and I respect you, especially for your courage". I don't want her to misinterpret my comment. Please I can be her friend but we wouldn't kick anything serious, at least not on my side. It wasn't what I could relate over the phone. I stay in one of the the west African countries and she's in Nigeria. How do I tell her my stand without breaking her again when I'm in Nigeria?

Guys help!!! I will be in the comments section.

Mods please help me

A snail garnished is presented nicely to you..... Why comot your fork?....... cheesy

Chop the snail, with your fried cassava and enjoy the meal......... grin

2 Likes

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Iziquiel(m): 4:04pm On Mar 05, 2019

badadvice:
I'll advise you reciprocate her love. Push yourself into loving her. You just have to love her and go into a relationship with her. That lady is a nice lady. You must love and cherish her.. if after sometime you still cant love her though, you can then dump her. But first, you must accept her proposal.

Your moniker says it all. Lol

3 Likes

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by RedboneSmith(m): 4:07pm On Mar 05, 2019

I can relate. It's hard telling a girl who is into you that you aren't into her too.

What I do in this situation is to become elusive. Seldom call, seldom pick her calls, and when I do pick, come up with excuses of 'I've been busy'. It's even easier in your case, you being out of the country.

People want attention; they want people who are there for them and make the attempt to connect. If she sees you're not offering any of these, she'll eventually let go. This all sounds cowardly, but for me na the way to go. It's not me that will smack down a girl that mustered the courage to tell me how she feels. grin

PS: You said she just broke up with a guy, which means she could just be feeling emotionally vulnerable now. Her feelings for you may only be her vulnerability acting out. She'll be fine.

3 Likes

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 4:10pm On Mar 05, 2019

MrBrownJay1:
- why waste her time (or yours)?
- why give her hope where there is none?
- why lie to this lady (and your own self)?

no matter how hard the truth is, tell her exactly how you feel and let her accept that. no time to waste pretending to be who you are not, especially with someone who is somehow related to your money.

you certainly aint helping her by NOT being fully honest with her about how you feel about her. you cant pretend to be nice to all the sad babes you PITY

Well written. I once turned down a colleague at work, well since then I became her enemy.

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by daben1(m): 4:11pm On Mar 05, 2019

badadvice:
I'll advise you reciprocate her love.
Push yourself into loving her.
You just have to love her and go into a relationship with her.
That lady is a nice lady.
You must love and cherish her..
if after sometime you still cant love her though, you can then dump her.
But first, you must accept her proposal.I Dey like your badavice

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by FortuneDeGreat(m): 4:11pm On Mar 05, 2019

badadvice:
I'll advise you reciprocate her love.
Push yourself into loving her.
You just have to love her and go into a relationship with her.
That lady is a nice lady.
You must love and cherish her..
if after sometime you still cant love her though, you can then dump her.
But first, you must accept her proposal.

as bad as your moniker, may you always meet your moniker. Isee

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 4:13pm On Mar 05, 2019

OkaNaUbe:

Don't date a vulnerable girl. When she is back on her feet again, she will run away.

Except you wan chop and clean mouth.

I did this before my above comment. Hence the hatred. Lol.

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 4:15pm On Mar 05, 2019

The worst thing that you can do to someone is to date them out of pity. The lack of love will always show because you will never commit to them the way they expect you to and that’s painful. Even affects their self esteem.
It’s best to tell her how you feel, it will hurt her but it’s way better than leading her on. Hopefully, she will understand someday that the truth though painful was a decent decision.

2 Likes

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by WeighWordSon(m): 4:24pm On Mar 05, 2019

I just got off something similar, didn't want to hurt her feelings and all that.
Each day was a tug of war, as I had to struggle with pain, regret, hurt and wasted time, acting and supposedly loving up.

Bro, if you no go do, abeg no do. No cage yourself, biko.
My token...

1 Like

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Mydazz(m): 4:26pm On Mar 05, 2019

Your side of the story is incomplete withouthe mentioning these facts
Is she your type in terms of physical features?
Do you have a serious relationship, something close to serious?
What is the problem with her that makes her a No No for you?
Is distance a major problem for you?

I can know how to advice after all these, thanks

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 4:26pm On Mar 05, 2019

be honest

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by femi4: 4:28pm On Mar 05, 2019

victorian:
Also op, don't always pick her call .
And when u are in Nigeria , always claim busy and still don't pick her call .let it keep ringing .

Claiming you are busy round the clock , even to pic calls or reply her messages. If she sees u face to face and ask why u aint answering her calls , reply her with a yawn and bored look, that uv been so busy lately and even your gf in your country is even complaining too.
She will quickly get the message and gradually withdraw with time .

It will hurt but it's better , she knows on time than later .

Mehn! thank God I don't shoot shots ! Jeez! I go just die !!!!!

Op, follow this oyinbo pepper's advice. She spoke my mind

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by LordAdam16: 4:29pm On Mar 05, 2019

Is there something I'm missing or why does it seem like some are giving the OP flak for wanting to be a decent human being.

Regardless of gender, if someone propositions you, let the person off nicely. No one likes to hear the word "no," but how you say it matters. Not everyone would react in the same way, so have contingency plans.

@OP, I'm not going to act like a know-it-all and give you a firm rundown of the exact words to say. But letting her off while ensuring you do not shatter her emotions requires you to be careful of your word choice and mindful of your actions.

Tell her how much you respect her ability and choice of coming forward, how much you want to maintain a positive friendship with her, but how you know it'd be unfair to lead her on when you are not on the same page as she is. Reiterate that it's not her fault, that any guy would be lucky to be with her, but that at the moment, for aforementioned reasons, it'd be in both your best interest to tone down communication so her developing feelings for you can dissipate.

This is not just chivalry, it is in keeping with the Golden Rule--treat others as you'd want to be treated.

Most girls will get the memo and over the coming days and weeks lose any sort of romantic attraction they had. Some would double down because you acted thoughtfully. That's when you hunker down and start drawing boundaries and becoming a lot more firm (but never to the extent of chipping away at her self-esteem).

-Lord

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nanatrendy(f): 4:32pm On Mar 05, 2019

badadvice:
I'll advise you reciprocate her love.
Push yourself into loving her.
You just have to love her and go into a relationship with her.
That lady is a nice lady.
You must love and cherish her..
if after sometime you still cant love her though, you can then dump her.
But first, you must accept her proposal.

your name says it all bad advice, if a guy doesn't like a girl nothing is gonna change, he cant force himself to accept her.

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Stanley126: 4:36pm On Mar 05, 2019

Pipswick:
Hi Nairaland family,

I'm sorry I had to create this account to keep me anonymous.

I need any help I can get on this issue please. So this morning this lady that works for a man I do business with woke me with a call at 5:37am today and opened up to me that she's fallen in love with me. I barely know her. We've just met at the boss's place thrice and I was on my business mission. We gisted small the last time I was around in January. And she was telling me about how her ex broke her heart and all, I was adroit, empathized and put myself in her shoes and all.

Told her to be more outgoing and more friendly cos she seemed to have shrank into her shell after her break up. After that day the calls increased, checking up on me and normal stuff. I reciprocated cos I felt it was normal for two matured folks.

The problem is that I don't really feel the same. Infact it was the least thing I expected this morning. Well I wouldn't bruise her ego, I respect her for her courage and I told her so. She said her problem was that the person might not feel the same and she was right. If I have to have anything with her it wouldn't lead to anything serious. but deep inside her she needs something serious.

Well during the course of the call just so I don't shatter her already fragile frame, I mumbled to her "well I like you too and I respect you, especially for your courage". I don't want her to misinterpret my comment. Please I can be her friend but we wouldn't kick anything serious, at least not on my side. It wasn't what I could relate over the phone. I stay in one of the the west African countries and she's in Nigeria. How do I tell her my stand without breaking her again when I'm in Nigeria?

Guys help!!! I will be in the comments section.

Mods please help me

Matured folks abi? You reciprocated the calls abi? you like here abi? Like this like this one thing go lead to another , you seems confused on ur stand Sir, make up ur mind and stick by it regardless of who shoot the shot

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 4:37pm On Mar 05, 2019

Pipswick:
Hi Nairaland family,

I'm sorry I had to create this account to keep me anonymous.

I need any help I can get on this issue please. So this morning this lady that works for a man I do business with woke me with a call at 5:37am today and opened up to me that she's fallen in love with me. I barely know her. We've just met at the boss's place thrice and I was on my business mission. We gisted small the last time I was around in January. And she was telling me about how her ex broke her heart and all, I was adroit, empathized and put myself in her shoes and all.

Told her to be more outgoing and more friendly cos she seemed to have shrank into her shell after her break up. After that day the calls increased, checking up on me and normal stuff. I reciprocated cos I felt it was normal for two matured folks.

The problem is that I don't really feel the same. Infact it was the least thing I expected this morning. Well I wouldn't bruise her ego, I respect her for her courage and I told her so. She said her problem was that the person might not feel the same and she was right. If I have to have anything with her it wouldn't lead to anything serious. but deep inside her she needs something serious.

Well during the course of the call just so I don't shatter her already fragile frame, I mumbled to her "well I like you too and I respect you, especially for your courage". I don't want her to misinterpret my comment. Please I can be her friend but we wouldn't kick anything serious, at least not on my side. It wasn't what I could relate over the phone. I stay in one of the the west African countries and she's in Nigeria. How do I tell her my stand without breaking her again when I'm in Nigeria?

Guys help!!! I will be in the comments section.

Mods please help me

Man up & tell her the truth, say you love her too, AS A SISTER, make sure you say it as nicely as possible

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Stanley126: 4:38pm On Mar 05, 2019

[quote author=daben1 post=76375852][/quote]

Shooting the shots CEO!!!! Tuale ma

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by victorian(f): 4:52pm On Mar 05, 2019

femi4:
Op, follow this oyinbo pepper's advice. She spoke my mind

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Shugargal(f): 4:57pm On Mar 05, 2019

victorian:
Also op, don't always pick her call .
And when u are in Nigeria , always claim busy and still don't pick her call .let it keep ringing .

Claiming you are busy round the clock , even to pic calls or reply her messages. If she sees u face to face and ask why u aint answering her calls , reply her with a yawn and bored look, that uv been so busy lately and even your gf in your country is even complaining too.
She will quickly get the message and gradually withdraw with time .

It will hurt but it's better , she knows on time than later .

Mehn! thank God I don't shoot shots ! Jeez! I go just die !!!!!

Sis take it easy na, pesin fit kpeme with this attitude oo, especially ones with fragile heart

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by AreaFada2: 5:03pm On Mar 05, 2019

OP, you did well.

Don't start anything with her. Be caring but not too much. Make feel ok. If she claims she embarrassed, tell her no need to be. Feign being taken if possible.

If you dabble into it, later she will scream "men are scum" not minding she pushed for it.

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Lerumo: 5:11pm On Mar 05, 2019

Return the call and say your mind in a nice way. Let her know you just like her as a friend and nothing more.

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by DonroxyII: 5:22pm On Mar 05, 2019

victorian:
Also op, don't always pick her call .
And when u are in Nigeria , always claim busy and still don't pick her call .let it keep ringing .

Claiming you are busy round the clock , even to pic calls or reply her messages. If she sees u face to face and ask why u aint answering her calls , reply her with a yawn and bored look, that uv been so busy lately and even your gf in your country is even complaining too.
She will quickly get the message and gradually withdraw with time .

It will hurt but it's better , she knows on time than later .

Mehn! thank God I don't shoot shots ! Jeez! I go just die !!!!!

Best approach .... Best !!

It' ain't fair hurting a girl's ego , it took them a lot coming open to you so if you aint interested, just form extremely and excessively busy..... I even look for what she doesn't like and start doing it .....

@ Pipswick, Make yourself unavailable and don't be emotional nor complimentary ..... She will get message and drop you herself for not being to taste !!

Husband is scarce ooo !!

2 Likes

Re: She Shot Her Shot But I Don't Feel The Same by Nobody: 5:27pm On Mar 05, 2019

Sadly, there are fewer men with balls these day.

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply)

Who Says Women Are Not Attracted By What They See? / Ladies Do You Step In Or Let Him Handle It Himself? / This Girl I'm Dating Forgot My Birthday, Should I Move On ?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 79
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.