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He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave - Romance - Nairaland

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He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Wonder2018: 9:48pm On Mar 05, 2019
(Long message alert!! � forgive me��)
Single ladies, be patient!!!! You are 30 and not married, and so what If you try entering this university without taking your time to prepare for the course, or you go do mistake go choose the wrong course, my dear, if you like read till you drop dead, if you like walk with your head, if the course isn’t yours you will not pass it.
What am I saying; if you rush and marry somebody’s husband, or what God didn’t prepare for you, my dear you will SUFFER..... oh you will really suffer!!
If you like do snake in the monkey shadow, cook the best meal in the world, walk the best walk or dress the best dress, it will only last for that moment, it will not upgrade your love level with the man.... which is how it’s meant to be; when a man and a woman have issues, what they do is bring the good times back to the memory table; and trust me it should be enough to keep any marriage going, but if he is not the one; the wrongs / mistakes you make will be held up and used against you for LIFE.
I am a lovable woman, I am good looking with all the curves, I love cooking and trying new things, I can apologise for Africa once I know I made a mistake (I don’t know how to get mad for more than 5mins) and to add icing to the cake I am a “b***h” for my man in bed. (Goddamnit) don’t get me wrong I have my weakness/flaws... but mhen all the good attributes should be enough to score me points in my marriage, but nah here I apologise for not saying Goodmorning, I apologise for not asking him what he will have for dinner, i apologise for been upset/ angry; here, am not allowed to be angry, once am angry it’s termed a sheen rude/ no manners. So once am upset about an issue i apologise to myself when am tired of sulking, and move on or die sulking, here we get apologies once in 2years.
And the times I manage to hold a conversation on what my concerns/worries are; I hear the insult that can cater for a whole generation;
Here we argue over what can be easily ignored maturedly or laughed over. The course is soo hard cause i probably got on the wrong course from the beginning, It’s soo hard!!!!
I can’t count how many times I have she’s tears on my own and moved on cause of the emotional pain I have to go through... no sort of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, not once not ever, but the emotion trauma is weighty.
Interestingly the guy has opened the door for me to leave, but fear no gree me, the money I make from my two business can’t take care of the two lovely kids I have; they are used to the comfortable lifestyle; if I live catching up with that lifestyle would take a while and I don’t know if my kids have that kind of patience..... they are carat about their dad, cantbgo a day without him.
Dear single ladies, y’all should chill, no where una deg rush go, getting it right at late 30s makes ALOT damn sense than getting it wrong at early 20s. You have always heard it and you are hearing it again!!!
Am still
Keeping my fingers crossed waiting to see if my good attributes will make the impossible possible someday, I hear time heals all wounds; however am not ready to raise kids without a dad. No way!!! Wish me luck✌�

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Offpoint1: 9:51pm On Mar 05, 2019
typing Amen
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Nobody: 9:59pm On Mar 05, 2019
No Domestic Violence? Mmm...Mmm.. I'm surprised but you both can still make up just don't throw it away yet... Abeg engage God...You need him more now if for nothing for your children sake
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Nobody: 10:06pm On Mar 05, 2019
Sounds like you married a narcissist or you are enduring emotional abuse. Check my threads to see if the shoe fits your situation
Wonder2018:
Single ladies, be patient!!!! You are 30 and not married, and so what If you try entering this university without taking your time to prepare for the course, or you go do mistake go choose the wrong course, my dear, if you like read till you drop dead, if you like walk with your head, if the course isn’t yours you will not pass it.
What am I saying; if you rush and marry somebody’s husband, or what God didn’t prepare for you, my dear you will SUFFER..... oh you will really suffer!!
If you like do snake in the monkey shadow, cook the best meal in the world, walk the best walk or dress the best dress, it will only last for that moment, it will not upgrade your love level with the man.... which is how it’s meant to be; when a man and a woman have issues, what they do is bring the good times back to the memory table; and trust me it should be enough to keep any marriage going, but if he is not the one; the wrongs / mistakes you make will be held up and used against you for LIFE.
I am a lovable woman, I am good looking with all the curves, I love cooking and trying new things, I can apologise for Africa once I know I made a mistake (I don’t know how to get mad for more than 5mins) and to add icing to the cake I am a “b***h” for my man in bed. (Goddamnit) don’t get me wrong I have my weakness/flaws... but mhen all the good attributes should be enough to score me points in my marriage, but nah here I apologise for not saying Goodmorning, I apologise for not asking him what he will have for dinner, i apologise for been upset/ angry; here, am not allowed to be angry, once am angry it’s termed a sheen rude/ no manners. So once am upset about an issue i apologise to myself when am tired of sulking, and move on or die sulking, here we get apologies once in 2years.
And the times I manage to hold a conversation on what my concerns/worries are; I hear the insult that can cater for a whole generation;
Here we argue over what can be easily ignored maturedly or laughed over. The course is soo hard cause i probably got on the wrong course from the beginning, It’s soo hard!!!!
I can’t count how many times I have she’s tears on my own and moved on cause of the emotional pain I have to go through... no sort of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, not once not ever, but the emotion trauma is weighty.
Interestingly the guy has opened the door for me to leave, but fear no gree me, the money I make from my two business can’t take care of the two lovely kids I have; they are used to the comfortable lifestyle; if I live catching up with that lifestyle would take a while and I don’t know if my kids have that kind of patience..... they are carat about their dad, cantbgo a day without him.
Dear single ladies, y’all should chill, no where una deg rush go, getting it right at late 30s makes ALOT damn sense than getting it wrong at early 20s. You have always heard it and you are hearing it again!!!
Am still
Keeping my fingers crossed waiting to see if my good attributes will make the impossible possible someday, I hear time heals all wounds; however am not ready to raise kids without a dad. No way!!! Wish me luck✌�
stay strong and just do you. Don't bother about the man too much
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by youngberry001(m): 10:17pm On Mar 05, 2019
I can't read dis shiiit sad
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Abortions: 10:25pm On Mar 05, 2019
Too long,......









Lemme go see what they doing to Madrid first
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by youngberry001(m): 10:32pm On Mar 05, 2019
Abortions:
Too long,......









Lemme go see what they doing to Madrid first
mheen e no easy for madrid ooh grin


Ajax3 madrid1
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Biglittlelois(f): 10:43pm On Mar 05, 2019
Wow!!! Lord have mercy, it is well with you Op.
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by DanDeeBoss(m): 10:46pm On Mar 05, 2019
.

Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Nobody: 10:51pm On Mar 05, 2019
Sorry.

This usually happens when money and material comfort was the number one reason for the marriage in the first place. Sadly, women will always keep falling into this and men will keep taking advantage of this.

Most rich men do not really value their wives. They see them as completely dispensable, someone they can do without, after all, you married him mainly because of his money. Personality is never the first thing women consider before marriage. It's always money and comfort.

This is a sad tale that will never end.

Again, sorry

5 Likes

Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Nobody: 10:53pm On Mar 05, 2019
If you do all you say you do and his character is what you say it is, then it is safe to say that the man is cheating. There's a lady that confuses him out there but be patient, such men are hard to please. A day will come when the other lady will start getting in his nerves too.
I suggest you hang on because of your kids who you say are obsessed with their dad. Best wishes ma'am.
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Abortions: 11:15pm On Mar 05, 2019
youngberry001:
mheen e no easy for madrid ooh grin


Ajax3 madrid1
1:4 FT. Just one player out and a whole team has turned into a bag of goals cheesy
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by raphemmanuel(m): 12:08am On Mar 06, 2019
Nnaabros:
Sorry.

This usually happens when money and material comfort was the number one reason for the marriage in the first place. Sadly, women will always keep falling into this and men will keep taking advantage of this.

Most rich men do not really value their wives. They see them as completely dispensable, someone they can do without, after all, you married him mainly because of his money. Personality is never the first thing women consider before marriage. It's always money and comfort.

This is a sad tale that will never end.

Again, sorry
Bro u just spoke my mind.
As I was reading the story, I immediately noticed the reason why the writer was facing whatever she is facing when I haven't read all her writeup...

Ladies of this days wants to get everything at the plater of gold.
They need already made stuff.
They don't want to stick to a guy that is hustling tight to make it.

They forgot that MOST guys that made the wealth together with their woman, value and respect their woman most because the woman stood by their side when the have nothing.

Ladies prefer breaking up with their broke guy for rich dude and expect much love from those dude.
Only FEW rich guys can respect and value their wife, because with their wealth the only think they are helping the lady to leave a better life.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Wonder2018: 8:38am On Mar 06, 2019
Nnaabros:
Sorry.

This usually happens when money and material comfort was the number one reason for the marriage in the first place. Sadly, women will always keep falling into this and men will keep taking advantage of this.

Most rich men do not really value their wives. They see them as completely dispensable, someone they can do without, after all, you married him mainly because of his money. Personality is never the first thing women consider before marriage. It's always money and comfort.

This is a sad tale that will never end.

Again, sorry
He isn’t a wealthy dude but I would categorize us as the comfortable average Nigerian family.
The kinds of family who would use thrift to make travel trips, and use our last penny to make the kids comfortable. He is also a hustler but an hardworking hustler. I see him going places if he stays focus, and that’s why am stuck with him to be a part of his success story. Am with him because I love him for who he is, . When we met he was living in a self contain, after 2 years we moved to a two bedroom, and 2years later we moved to a bigger place, so I would categorize as a growing couple. Dude that still collects his 1000naira change from me.

1 Like

Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by richidinho(m): 8:52am On Mar 06, 2019
Try leaving for like two weeks and see if he will not come begging, make sure you leave without the kids
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by raphemmanuel(m): 11:28pm On Mar 06, 2019
Wonder2018:

He isn’t a wealthy dude but I would categorize us as the comfortable average Nigerian family.
The kinds of family who would use thrift to make travel trips, and use our last penny to make the kids comfortable. He is also a hustler but an hardworking hustler. I see him going places if he stays focus, and that’s why am stuck with him to be a part of his success story. Am with him because I love him for who he is, . When we met he was living in a self contain, after 2 years we moved to a two bedroom, and 2years later we moved to a bigger place, so I would categorize as a growing couple. Dude that still collects his 1000naira change from me.
So sorry for what you are passing through. An intruder (Husband snatchers) must have come into your marriage.
And ur husband feels she (husband snatcher) is better than you...

I will advice u meet those MATURED people your husband respect their opinions (either pastors or elderly ones), tell them what you are passing through, that they should speak to your husband on your behalf.

And again, if you know those things that makes ur husband always happy when you knew him newly, keep doing it.
I PRAY HE WILL REPENT AND START LOVING YOU.


Please don't leave, then expecting your husband to come plead with you to come back.
If you try it, it might be the end of your marriage.

IN ALL THINGS PRAY TO GOD, HIS HEART WILL CHANGE TOWARDS YOU
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by tobechi20(m): 12:13am On Mar 07, 2019
Please sunmarise
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Nobody: 4:21am On Mar 07, 2019
Wonder2018:

He isn’t a wealthy dude but I would categorize us as the comfortable average Nigerian family.
The kinds of family who would use thrift to make travel trips, and use our last penny to make the kids comfortable. He is also a hustler but an hardworking hustler. I see him going places if he stays focus, and that’s why am stuck with him to be a part of his success story. Am with him because I love him for who he is, . When we met he was living in a self contain, after 2 years we moved to a two bedroom, and 2years later we moved to a bigger place, so I would categorize as a growing couple. Dude that still collects his 1000naira change from me.
I will never judge a man by hearing half the story...blameless women everywhere...brain lacking judges feeling fly.

1 Like

Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Nobody: 6:40am On Mar 07, 2019
Points taken.

I hope things work out fine for you, perhaps you should employ a different tactics. Stop saying sorry.
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by Nobody: 1:40pm On Mar 07, 2019
Abuse in any form is still abuse.
You are suffering from emotional abuse and if don't do anything, you're gonna break under the weight of the emotional torture.
It's just a matter of time.
He has shown you the door and you want to stay because of your kids? Well, unhappy parents make unhappy kids.
Those kids will not be kids forever. How long can you endure the abuse?
Stop telling yourself, "it's for the kids"
Admit it. You are afraid of being a single mom. But your situation currently isn't any better.
I'm harsh. But you need tough love.
Your kids will love you more when you are happier.
It's best you walk out. If he's shown you the door, it's obvious, he's no longer interested in the marriage.
Set him free. Set yourself free in the process.
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by dennel(m): 1:53pm On Mar 07, 2019
Nice write up op! Atlest the single women out there wud pick or wud have picked smtn from*

Op! Do you guys doesn’t realize a man has a lot bothering him than all those things that makes you feel more comfortable and happy you want him doing all day ?! I’m sure that guy is a good man! Just give him some space in-house and continue praying for him! He might just be bothered about smtns and probably don’t want to talk about it yet not to make you feel down or the same as he feels*

Always understand your man... my lil piece
Re: He Has Shown Me The Door.... Am Scared To Leave by 2buffagain(m): 7:15pm On Mar 07, 2019
See eh...all this is talk.

I bet it was that very same narcisism that attracted her to him.
No be bad man una dey find upandan? No matter how "good" she might think herself to be, women are deep down gluttons for punishment.

As she is there so, her brain might not be happy (logic), but she as a woman (drama cravers) is secretly happy because her desire/quota for drama is being met. If she married a man that wasn't giving her drama, she would have sha found a way to create it i.e look for ways to constantly check how weak he is, cause problems solely for emotional turmoil so she can have something to cry about, etc.

I generally don't take women's complaints about these things seriously.
Na their way. It is what they secretly crave. I guess emotional pain helps them know that they are still emotionally alive...or some ish.

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