Let me make it brief..I have a room mate who is married now. Before his marriage, he dated this lady for almost 9yrs. I met them and it was like love is really a beautiful thing. The girl stays with her brother. She comes around and cook, wash and do all sort just for the relationship to keep going fine. She is not the social type, don't have many friends and always glue to her work. In fact what a man wants as wife(atleast to my own understanding). Now the guy who is my friend is a regular good guy. I won't tag him a womanizer but can't keep his di**k to his pant in some instance. So he cheated on this girl and the girl finds out. She got angry and my friend pleaded and was forgiven. He repeated same while I knew. I called him and asked why he keeps cheating on a girl like this. He said not all guys can hold themselves like me, that it is not easy. I advised him to try to stop so it won't break the relationship since he wants to marry the girl. he couldn't, so he continued flirting codedly. The truth is if the girl happens to be my sis, I would have advice her to move on, but you know the guys code na(though I feel guilty till now). Let's I forget, she caught him again and again but she couldn't let go. The one that broke the camel's back is when he tries to date one of her colleague, then all hell was let loose that the whole family had to come in between them to try to settle the issues. By now she was staying with us because she had issues with the brother she was staying with. I watched as she cried her eyes out and I felt pity for her. The truth is both have invested alot into the relationship...yet it is coming to ruin in just a few minutes. The lady finally moved out to stay with her friend. At this period my friend met a lady in his church and before you know it , they started dating and whooop!!! they are married now within a year..She is out there now, not yet married after 9 years in the relationship....Yet a guy will see her tomorrow and call her all sort of names..never minding her story...what a society for the feminine..I still chat with her once in a while. Please ladies define your relationship and set time for him..if he is not ready, please find your way before it is too late .. Thanks

Thanks

They will not hear until the relationship land crash like osinbajo own that's when they will be saying all men are equal

Sad!!! If I were you, I’ll goan marry the girl. Make e nor waste.


But guys dey effup shar. No matter the cheating, never look down or disrespect your true woman.

Oshin56:
They will not hear until the relationship land crash like osinbajo own that's when they will be saying all men are equal

I just wish some will hear and not be a victim of such circumstances. I have seen some ladies endure worst just to keep a man. what a society..

Please ladies define your relationship and set time for him..if he is not ready, please find your way before it is too late .. Thanks

Op, this advice on your last paragraph I beg to disagree please. There are good guys out there with self control just like yourself according to how you mentioned it in your story.

Ladies, when a guy cheats on you and you find out, find the nerve to drop him like it is hot, don't ever hope or try to forgive in the name of he won't do it again or righteousness.

Men were created with this high sex urge and when you allow your sex fantasies rule you as a man, you will always remain a slave to your hormones.

So, if your man truly loves you just as you love him, he won't imagine his diddy in another lady's punnani that is not yours.. Thanchiu.

stupidity:
Sad!!! If I were you, I’ll goan marry the girl. Make e nor waste.


But guys dey effup shar. No matter the cheating, never look down or disrespect your true woman.

my brother is not as easy as that. The girl stays with us for almost 5 years. I watched as they play, act and have fun together. I was wishing I could get a lady like that then..so hardworking lady..

So after all the Sex, Cooking, Romancing, Fellatios....Finally the guy still no marry the babe

All this happened for 9 years

austyn0:
Please ladies define your relationship and set time for him..if he is not ready, please find your way before it is too late .. Thanks

Op, this advice on your last paragraph I beg to disagree please. There are good guys out there with self control just like yourself according to how you mentioned it in your story.

Ladies, when a guy cheats on you and you find out, find the nerve to drop him like it is hot, don't ever hope or try to forgive in the name of he won't do it again or righteousness.

Men were created with this high sex urge and when you allow your sex fantasies rule you as a man, you will always remain a slave to your hormones.

So, if your man truly loves you just as you love him, he won't imagine his diddy in another lady's punnani that is not yours.. Thanchiu.

I couldn't agree less... you are spot on

bdchange:
Let me make it brief..I have a room mate who is married now. Before his marriage, he dated this lady for almost 9yrs. I met them and it was like love is really a beautiful thing. The girl stays with her brother. She comes around and cook, wash and do all sort just for the relationship to keep going fine. She is not the social type, don't have many friends and always glue to her work. In fact what a man wants as wife(atleast to my own understanding). Now the guy who is my friend is a regular good guy. I won't tag him a womanizer but can't keep his di**k to his pant in some instance. So he cheated on this girl and the girl finds out. She got angry and my friend pleaded and was forgiven. He repeated same while I knew. I called him and asked why he keeps cheating on a girl like this. He said not all guys can hold themselves like me, that it is not easy. I advised him to try to stop so it won't break the relationship since he wants to marry the girl. he couldn't, so he continued flirting codedly. The truth is if the girl happens to be my sis, I would have advice her to move on, but you know the guys code na(though I feel guilty till now). Let's I forget, she caught him again and again but she couldn't let go. The one that broke the camel's back is when he tries to date one of her colleague, then all hell was let loose that the whole family had to come in between them to try to settle the issues. By now she was staying with us because she had issues with the brother she was staying with. I watched as she cried her eyes out and I felt pity for her. The truth is both have invested alot into the relationship...yet it is coming to ruin in just a few minutes. The lady finally moved out to stay with her friend. At this period my friend met a lady in his church and before you know it , they started dating and whooop!!! they are married now within a year..She is out there now, not yet married after 9 years in the relationship....Yet a guy will see her tomorrow and call her all sort of names..never minding her story...what a society for the feminine..I still chat with her once in a while. Please ladies define your relationship and set time for him..if he is not ready, please find your way before it is too late .. Thanks

If she puts him inside bottle, I won't pity him.

She has a good heart to keep forgiving him, your friend took advantage of that and he lost a good woman.

Her only fault was loving your friend and having a forgiving heart an who can fault that.

I believe in seeing blessings in every disappointment. Well for me I think God actually saved her from marrying your friend and for the times she lost she will recover back.

You see as for your friend trust me sooner or later he will pay heavily,God has away of dealing with cheats like him.

karma will definitely serve him a piece of his cake.

And please even if she had defined her time as you said and given him the estimated time of which she wanted to settle down, your friend would still have cheated on her. He is just a cheat he can't help it.

And let me tell you why he married this other one quick is so that she won't find out who he really is.

grad2012:
If only we could see a miracle in every disappointment,well for me I think God actually saved her from marrying your friend. She is a good person so deserves a good person and definitely she will get someone better.

You see as for your friend trust me he will pay because God has away of dealing cheats like that.

karma will serve a piece of his cake.

despite I don't support what the guy did...I don't believe in karma. when we fall in love it makes us fragile as humans and thinking straight without emotions becomes hard. she saw reasons to let him go but it wasn't easy. Do you know what it means to be in a committed relationship and just end it like that ?// is not easy my sister

bdchange:

despite I don't support what the guy did...I don't believe in karma. when we fall in love it makes us fragile as humans and thinking straight without emotions becomes hard. she saw reasons to let him go but it wasn't easy. Do you know what it means to be in a committed relationship and just end it like that ?// is not easy my sister

Trust me I do, its always hard you are right about that.

grad2012:
She has a good heart to keep forgiving him, your friend took advantage of that and he lost a good woman.

Her only fault was loving your friend and having a forgiving heart an who can fault that.

I believe in seeing blessings in every disappointment. Well for me I think God actually saved her from marrying your friend and for the times she lost she will recover back.

You see as for your friend trust me sooner or later he will pay heavily,God has away of dealing with cheats like him.

karma will definitely serve him a piece of his cake.

And please even if she had defined her time as you said and given him the estimated time of which she wanted to settle down, your friend would still have cheated on her. He is just a cheat he can't help it.

And let me tell you why he married this other one quick is so that she won't find out who he really is.

Well people change, so he might later change for good.But the deed has being done and it is not reversible. I believe she will find a man that who love and cherish her.

bdchange:
Let me make it brief..I have a room mate who is married now. Before his marriage, he dated this lady for almost 9yrs. I met them and it was like love is really a beautiful thing. The girl stays with her brother. She comes around and cook, wash and do all sort just for the relationship to keep going fine. She is not the social type, don't have many friends and always glue to her work. In fact what a man wants as wife(atleast to my own understanding). Now the guy who is my friend is a regular good guy. I won't tag him a womanizer but can't keep his di**k to his pant in some instance. So he cheated on this girl and the girl finds out. She got angry and my friend pleaded and was forgiven. He repeated same while I knew. I called him and asked why he keeps cheating on a girl like this. He said not all guys can hold themselves like me, that it is not easy. I advised him to try to stop so it won't break the relationship since he wants to marry the girl. he couldn't, so he continued flirting codedly. The truth is if the girl happens to be my sis, I would have advice her to move on, but you know the guys code na(though I feel guilty till now). Let's I forget, she caught him again and again but she couldn't let go. The one that broke the camel's back is when he tries to date one of her colleague, then all hell was let loose that the whole family had to come in between them to try to settle the issues. By now she was staying with us because she had issues with the brother she was staying with. I watched as she cried her eyes out and I felt pity for her. The truth is both have invested alot into the relationship...yet it is coming to ruin in just a few minutes. The lady finally moved out to stay with her friend. At this period my friend met a lady in his church and before you know it , they started dating and whooop!!! they are married now within a year..She is out there now, not yet married after 9 years in the relationship....Yet a guy will see her tomorrow and call her all sort of names..never minding her story...what a society for the feminine..I still chat with her once in a while. Please ladies define your relationship and set time for him..if he is not ready, please find your way before it is too late .. Thanks

Op help her ministry na. Marry her na

grad2012:
She has a good heart to keep forgiving him, your friend took advantage of that and he lost a good woman.

Her only fault was loving your friend and having a forgiving heart an who can fault that.

I believe in seeing blessings in every disappointment. Well for me I think God actually saved her from marrying your friend and for the times she lost she will recover back.

You see as for your friend trust me sooner or later he will pay heavily,God has away of dealing with cheats like him.

karma will definitely serve him a piece of his cake.

And please even if she had defined her time as you said and given him the estimated time of which she wanted to settle down, your friend would still have cheated on her. He is just a cheat he can't help it.

And let me tell you why he married this other one quick is so that she won't find out who he really is.

Stop please! Nothing like karma: just random things happeningg to random people.
Dude would probably live a happy ever after life.

The things I got from your post.

1. Men are confused.

2. The saying that men would never let go of a good woman is a fallacy. Now refer back to point 1; having that in mind, a man can let go of any woman. But then, it isn't really he is fault. Refer to point 1 again, he is confused.

3. A man knows who he wants to settle with, forget that talk of studying you. If a man wants to marry right now, he will do his studying in record time. That is why he can date you for 5yrs, keep studying you and your vagina. Date another in 3mths and he marries her. That doesn't mean she is luckier o, but he is sha married ehn.

4. Ladies should know when to move on. Do not fall for their subtle manipulation of forgiving cheats because all men cheat or the next could be worse. It is all to keep you in place.

5. Ladies, drop that fix him mentality. I have heard men say ladies love bad guys, but as a lady... I discovered it is not always about the money/dick, but some women are genuinely obsessed with the beauty & beast story. They want to be that woman who made a bad guy, good. Stop that! Relationships are not therapy homes. You will drag yourself into shit. You will never see a man trying to change a prostitute, he will just collect his turn and japa. Men are smart!! Think like a man.

6. If you see all the bad signs and chose to stay, yes---the man is a scum, but you are a greater scum for putting up with a scum. Enough of playing victim, take charge of your life.

True talk,u sound responsible keep it up,wish there were more responsible men than irresponsible ones.

Raalsalghul:
Op help her ministry na. Marry her na

How can I marry someone who dated my friend for that much time and I saw everything that happened between them. Haba na be fair to me. Though she is a good lady that I will recommend to any of my guy that is looking for a wife.

AntiBrutus:
Two things I got from your post.

1. Men are confused.

2. The saying that men would never let go of a good woman is a fallacy. Now refer back to point 1; having that in mind, a man can let go of any woman. But then, it isn't really he is fault. Refer to point 1 again, he is confused

See my sister men are not confused. Some of us know what we want. The problem with men is our sexual urge. If any man can control his, then he has overcome an obstacle in his life.

AntiBrutus:
The things I got from your post.

1. Men are confused.

2. The saying that men would never let go of a good woman is a fallacy. Now refer back to point 1; having that in mind, a man can let go of any woman. But then, it isn't really he is fault. Refer to point 1 again, he is confused.

3. A man knows who he wants to settle with, forget that talk of studying you. If a man wants to marry right now, he will do his studying in record time. That is why he can date you for 5yrs, keep studying you and your vagina. Date another in 3mths and he marries her.

4. Ladies know when to move on. Do not fall for their subtle manipulation of forgiving cheats because all men cheat or the next could be worse. It is all to keep you in place.

5. Ladies, drop that fix him mentality. I have heard men say ladies love bad guys, but as a lady... I discovered it is not always about the money/dick, but women are genuinely obsessed with the beauty & beast story. They want to be that woman who made a bad guy, good. Stop that! Relationships are not therapy homes. You will drag yourself into shit. You will never see a man trying to change prostitute, he will just collect his turn and japa. Men are smart!! Think like a man.

I wanted to add number 5. However seeing that you've already done so, respect then. The man and prostitute thingy couldn't have been said better.
Still doesn't change anything though.
Who go fall go still fall. It's nature dear.

bdchange:

See my sister men are not confused. Some of us know what we want. The problem with men is our sexual urge. If any man can control his, then he has overcome an obstacle in his life.

Still confusion between his dick and his brain.
Most times, the dick wins.

bdchange:
Let me make it brief..I have a room mate who is married now. Before his marriage, he dated this lady for almost 9yrs. I met them and it was like love is really a beautiful thing. The girl stays with her brother. She comes around and cook, wash and do all sort just for the relationship to keep going fine. She is not the social type, don't have many friends and always glue to her work. In fact what a man wants as wife(atleast to my own understanding). Now the guy who is my friend is a regular good guy. I won't tag him a womanizer but can't keep his di**k to his pant in some instance. So he cheated on this girl and the girl finds out. She got angry and my friend pleaded and was forgiven. He repeated same while I knew. I called him and asked why he keeps cheating on a girl like this. He said not all guys can hold themselves like me, that it is not easy. I advised him to try to stop so it won't break the relationship since he wants to marry the girl. he couldn't, so he continued flirting codedly. The truth is if the girl happens to be my sis, I would have advice her to move on, but you know the guys code na(though I feel guilty till now). Let's I forget, she caught him again and again but she couldn't let go. The one that broke the camel's back is when he tries to date one of her colleague, then all hell was let loose that the whole family had to come in between them to try to settle the issues. By now she was staying with us because she had issues with the brother she was staying with. I watched as she cried her eyes out and I felt pity for her. The truth is both have invested alot into the relationship...yet it is coming to ruin in just a few minutes. The lady finally moved out to stay with her friend. At this period my friend met a lady in his church and before you know it , they started dating and whooop!!! they are married now within a year..She is out there now, not yet married after 9 years in the relationship....Yet a guy will see her tomorrow and call her all sort of names..never minding her story...what a society for the feminine..I still chat with her once in a while. Please ladies define your relationship and set time for him..if he is not ready, please find your way before it is too late .. Thanks

hahahaha
Karma is real....I don't pity women wen it comes to relationship.

Let me shock u,to let u Know dat a guy must ve loved her so much to d extend of marriage within dat period of time she was decivin herself with d said guy and Guess what she must ve bn telling d true love guy.

I'm a virgin... hahahaha


Abeg 4get all dis hoes and hustle

grad2012:
She has a good heart to keep forgiving him, your friend took advantage of that and he lost a good woman.

Her only fault was loving your friend and having a forgiving heart an who can fault that.

I believe in seeing blessings in every disappointment. Well for me I think God actually saved her from marrying your friend and for the times she lost she will recover back.

You see as for your friend trust me sooner or later he will pay heavily,God has away of dealing with cheats like him.

karma will definitely serve him a piece of his cake.

And please even if she had defined her time as you said and given him the estimated time of which she wanted to settle down, your friend would still have cheated on her. He is just a cheat he can't help it.

And let me tell you why he married this other one quick is so that she won't find out who he really is.

hahahaha
Karma is real....I don't pity women wen it comes to relationship.

Let me shock u,to let u Know dat a guy must ve loved her so much to d extend of marriage within dat period of time she was decivin herself with d said guy and Guess what she must ve bn telling d true love guy.

I'm a virgin... hahahaha


Abeg 4get all dis hoes and hustle

prettysassygirl:
True talk,u sound responsible keep it up,wish there were more responsible men than irresponsible ones.

shot up dia


hahahaha
Karma is real....I don't pity women wen it comes to relationship.

Let me shock u,to let u Know dat a guy must ve loved her so much to d extend of marriage within dat period of time she was decivin herself with d said guy and Guess what she must ve bn telling d true love guy.

I'm a virgin... hahahaha


Abeg 4get all dis hoes and hustle

millionboi2:
shot up dia


hahahaha
Karma is real....I don't pity women wen it comes to relationship.

Let me shock u,to let u Know dat a guy must ve loved her so much to d extend of marriage within dat period of time she was decivin herself with d said guy and Guess what she must ve bn telling d true love guy.

I'm a virgin... hahahaha


Abeg 4get all dis hoes and hustle

who be dis one? ? it be like say yaba left psychiatric home just release one of their own o. abeg someone should call them to take u back

millionboi2:
shot up dia


hahahaha
Karma is real....I don't pity women wen it comes to relationship.

Let me shock u,to let u Know dat a guy must ve loved her so much to d extend of marriage within dat period of time she was decivin herself with d said guy and Guess what she must ve bn telling d true love guy.

I'm a virgin... hahahaha


Abeg 4get all dis hoes and hustle

hahha my brother take it easy. While she was in this relationship, she never cheated not even once because I asked my friend and he attest to that. Her yes was yes and no was no. They sometimes quarrel over some issues but not when it comes to flirting from the girl.

bdchange:

hahha my brother take it easy. While she was in this relationship, she never cheated not even once because I asked my friend and he attest to that. Her yes was yes and no was no. They sometimes quarrel over some issues but not when it comes to flirting from the girl.

You sure about that?

prettysassygirl:

who be dis one? ? it be like say yaba left psychiatric home just release one of their own o. abeg someone should call them to take u back

d number u ve dial is busy now,pls try again leta



Hahahaha

bdchange:
Let me make it brief..I have a room mate who is married now. Before his marriage, he dated this lady for almost 9yrs. I met them and it was like love is really a beautiful thing. The girl stays with her brother. She comes around and cook, wash and do all sort just for the relationship to keep going fine. She is not the social type, don't have many friends and always glue to her work. In fact what a man wants as wife(atleast to my own understanding). Now the guy who is my friend is a regular good guy. I won't tag him a womanizer but can't keep his di**k to his pant in some instance. So he cheated on this girl and the girl finds out. She got angry and my friend pleaded and was forgiven. He repeated same while I knew. I called him and asked why he keeps cheating on a girl like this. He said not all guys can hold themselves like me, that it is not easy. I advised him to try to stop so it won't break the relationship since he wants to marry the girl. he couldn't, so he continued flirting codedly. The truth is if the girl happens to be my sis, I would have advice her to move on, but you know the guys code na(though I feel guilty till now). Let's I forget, she caught him again and again but she couldn't let go. The one that broke the camel's back is when he tries to date one of her colleague, then all hell was let loose that the whole family had to come in between them to try to settle the issues. By now she was staying with us because she had issues with the brother she was staying with. I watched as she cried her eyes out and I felt pity for her. The truth is both have invested alot into the relationship...yet it is coming to ruin in just a few minutes. The lady finally moved out to stay with her friend. At this period my friend met a lady in his church and before you know it , they started dating and whooop!!! they are married now within a year..She is out there now, not yet married after 9 years in the relationship....Yet a guy will see her tomorrow and call her all sort of names..never minding her story...what a society for the feminine..I still chat with her once in a while. Please ladies define your relationship and set time for him..if he is not ready, please find your way before it is too late .. Thanks

lol the funny thing is you can set time and still end up not marrying and loosing everything. The truth is simple what works for A may not work for B so in life make your decision and stand by it.

@OP

I don't agree with you. Actually, one who neither knows how to lose honorably nor hasn't conquered self (irrespective of gender), is the one that has a lot to lose in a relationship - s/he who fails to lose honorably will always lose dishonorably in the end. Let's use your submission as a case study: Before I go on, I don't hold brief for the guy in the story - he's a typical small-minded man. However, the girl has herself to blame - she's a typical small-minded person too - because she'd have lose honorably had it been she left the very moment the guy betrayed her confidence on him. . . . Trust remains a justified confidence, this is why an aristocrat will neither give trust to someone (or expect faithfulness from someone) that didn't justify confidence reposed on him/her nor reward mediocrity. She didn't leave when she ought to, not because she was literally forgiven, rather because "she'd invested a lot in the relationship" - according to you - and this means she wasn't altruistic in whatever investment she made. Her inability to act conscientiously when needed is what gave her out as a typical small-minded person. One in her stead, who has conquered self, wouldn't have waited and allowed the guy to eat his cake and have it... one who doesn't believe in something will always fall for anything.

One thing with people who operate on principle rather expediency (aristocrats) - those who believe that s/he who comes into equity must come with clean hands - is that as much as they're never detrimental to others, yet, they never use servility to sustain a relationship with a small-minded person. And when they take to volitional slavery to sustain a relationship where and when needed - because it's an ultimate price of love - they do so altruistically, to avoid bitter cry in the end. Because the last things to expect from any beneficiary of another person(s) volitional slavery - one that accepts such with full happiness - are faithfulness and genuine gratitude.