Omoluabi16:
Well it's not a big deal, and yet it is. The most important thing should be a happy and successful marriage, but it's a bit odd if I and my kids have one name and she has another.We are a unit so should have one name. A woman bearing her Hubby's name has never been an issue so I wonder the need to challenge this.

your choice is also good as well

A married woman is not less of a married woman for keeping her last name

Hmmmm

Only insecure men would be bothered by name changes. If you marry a young girl who has just left school and has not built a career, yes, you can ask her to change her name and she can choose to submit to you and do so but you cannot force a woman who is established and known to change it immediately.

The most important factor is that you love and support each other to grow.

Tedpgrass:


The individual context, not a blanket rule, should colour the final decision..

I know of several female professors who still bear their maiden names but bear their married names at social events. Its based on understanding and compromise.


A robust discussion should be held prenuptially so nothing comes along as a surprise. Your environment, religion, career prospects and prevailing social culture all have a bearing.

If there's potential fluidity in your situation dynamics, a double-barrelled name might be an adequate compromise.



Egos should be sacrificed at the altar of overall family progress.


.

true that

OCEANMORGAN:

When I get married, if my wife like she should bear her ex boyfriend's name I will not mind at all, it will save me time, money, and trouble of publishing. I will only mind when her body is touched by another man in a sexual way. Who change of name epp??

There after Esau look for blessing but was deny of it.what ever she become something is her father name that will be had

There is more to a woman retaining her maiden name than meets the eye. Most of such women possess feministic tendencies.

omooba969:


You lack the ability to comprehend.

Please read the post again, this time.... slowly.

Oh please!. I read it and it's a load of crap, next!.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/gen.2.24.NKJV

The Bible says the man leaves his father and mother but says nothing about the woman leaving anywhere. How come it is the man that must hang unto what he has left while the woman gives up what she hasn't left? Those who insist that their spouse change her name are the ones who have the need to feel like they're "the man of the house". I don't require any validation to know I am.

careytommy37:
How is this name change issue relevant in the grand scheme of things as a family?

Please help me ask them

meobizy:

...and if they ask for logically thinking entities this one will also raise his hand?
Wonders shall never end.
The funny part is you never see their type in the politics section but they troll everywhere else with political filth.

my dear no mind am... the thing tire meoooooooo.... someone will just wake up from one shitty hole and decide to vent his frustration on an entire state... *is that one human being*?

I hear femaphobia is very curable

Daeylar:
I knew I wouldn't see a reasonable thing there. Just misogyny, patriarchy and stupidity given as reasons. From so called lawyers non the less

Building marriages on the backs of women's subjugation. Women must do this. Women must do that. If women doesn't do this. It would cause misunderstanding and divorce. Yet men are free and expected to do the same thing and receive no repercussions. No stress.
And it's OK to them?
But women are expected to stomach and love this according to that male and female idiot because submission is in the Bible. Smh

The misogyny and patriarchy of it all

Well, it's a matter of choice. Give in or give out.

People do things for different reasons.

Some go with what they deem the lesser evil.

What will make a difference is raising both our sons and daughters to have regards for other people regardless of what lies between their thighs.

Besides the fact that having one single family name simplifies the whole thing, it serves no other meaningful purpose.

Why would a lady want to keep her father's name after marrying?

Doesn't she love the husband enough to want to share his family name with him?

Where is the unity in the family when the husband and the kids bear a different surname than the woman of the house?

I'm not sure I'll want that for my family. If you don't love me enough to take on my name then move along. There are probably others who would love to.

They would come for you Awon feminists

Just look at what Nigerian lawyers are arguing about.
Taking us back to the stone age.
I blame those silly blonde wigs they wear on their coconut head
It is not allowing them to reason properly.
Where is change of name written in the bible?
Its a woman's decision to decide either to retain or drop her maiden name.

may320:
I disagree!
Women should use their maiden name alongside their husband's name.
I always believed it should be dropped until experience from some women made me change my orientation on it.

so tell us what happened that made you think otherwise

midnighter:
In the past i was adamant that i would keep it or double it-as per Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Chimamanda Adichie- but i have changed my mind. Its you that makes your name, not the other way around. no need to cling onto it unnecessarily

The lawyer is exaggerating though, im sure maiden name retention does not lead to divorce. it depends who the people are

Its not really here or there. in my place (and i guess other igbo places) theyll always call you by your fathers name, whether married or not. Guys on this forum keep saying that our mothers and grandmothers made better wives. So now what?

Its more of a superficial issue. if the man insists, just change it because there are more important battles to be fought down the line

.

My case is even funny. I didn't just drop my surname. I also dropped my middle name and answer his first name as my middle name...lol.

bb6xt:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/gen.2.24.NKJV

The Bible says the man leaves his father and mother but says nothing about the woman leaving anywhere. How come it is the man that must hang unto what he has left while the woman gives up what she hasn't left? Those who insist that their spouse change her name are the ones who have the need to feel like they're "the man of the house". I don't require any validation to know I am.

Thank you. The onus is on the man, to leave all attachments to his father's house and cleave to his wife, but in practicing Christianity, men turn it upside down. The woman does the leaving, she does the cleaving, she is expected to submit without love, to bear all and to sacrifice all.

Truth is tradition and Christianity as practised by men have really robbed women of their identities and rights. Any woman who is enlightened and understands that these shouldn't be, is labelled feminist and none submissive. It's a cold world out there for the woman, most especially the African woman.

Always looking for something to argue about.

What manner of contemporary sophistication are you exhibiting?

And some men are even supporting it simply to appear socially correct.

Margaret Thatcher was an iron lady ruling UK for many years with her husband
Dennis Thatcher in the background and it didn't make her ineffective or unsung.

Winnie Mandela thrived on the Mandela brand and and refused to drop the name even after the divorce.

And who says accomplished women do not change their names after marrying.

At the peak of their careers the under-listed women married and adjusted their names to reflect their new status
without any qualms;

1. Ifueko Omogui (FIIRS)

2. Abike Dabiri (HOR)

3. Hilary Clinton.

It is only a deep seated emptiness that manifests in the pushing for some of these unrealistic positions.

You need to wake up and realize that certain standards have been developed over the years and arguing about it doesn't just make for progress.

One day we may be advocating that beyond retaining their maiden names all the female children should bear their mothers maiden name.

Such baseless and avoidable confusion.

Do you really understand what a name represents?

If you love somebody enough and TRUST his love for you and see him as your PROVIDER (and here does not only connote a material sense) and PROTECTOR then you will consider yourself priviledged to be immersed in his life warts and all.

ImaIma1:
.

My case is even funny. I didn't just drop my surname. I also dropped my middle name and answer his first name as my middle name...lol.

Not funny at all.

Indeed that is how it should be.

But then, I am not surprised, your moniker did you in. It exposed you completely.

You come from the part of the country that truly understands the concept of marriage.
And you are likely to remain married till death and you almost always get your way in
all things but without as much as a confrontation.

Indeed you have been taught well and some of you graduated 'magna cum laud'.

Bravo!

Nigerian men, always whining.
"Submit this, change this, wear that... remain in your father's house, return to your father's house"

I wonder what would have happened if God didn't create women for some of these men to feel superior over them. They would have committed suicide a long time ago.

I don't even want to imagine what will happen if these set of men do not own dicks, the only thing that makes them feel like god... na war be that one.

If you wanna see the insecurity of a black man, place him at the receiving end of a white man. He would whine more than the black woman. Tufiakwa!

ImaIma1:
.

My case is even funny. I didn't just drop my surname. I also dropped my middle name and answer his first name as my middle name...lol.

Lol. you try o

Hope he appreciates it

Omoluabi16:
If you are not ready to drop your maiden name, then remain in your father's house forever. Why are we Even discussing this? All this useless feminist who should be focusing on women emancipation and core issues like Rape, FGM and trafficking will be trying to prove what they are not. They think men are their biggest problem. Their wise mothers and Grandmothers got on peacefully and were fulfilled. Rubbish.

GOD bless you, my wife didnt even think of it and my daughters will never have my back trying it

Lucin:
It's funny how women cry, fast and pray for a husband, and then start fighting to retain their maiden name when God gives them a husband. Why not remain in your father's house and enjoy your maiden name for eternity?
Meanwhile the maiden name you want to retain is your mother's husband's name.
SMH!

mind them

ONNYX:


Not funny at all.

Indeed that is how it should be.

But then, I am not surprised, your moniker did you in. It exposed you completely.

You come from the part of the country that truly understands the concept of marriage.
And you are likely to remain married till death and you almost always get your way in
all things but without as much as a confrontation.

Indeed you have been taught well and some of you graduated 'magna cum laud'.

Bravo!

Actually, in my place, we bear our father's first name as our middle name...as per me and all my siblings had the same middle name(including my mum).

When we get married and drop the surname, it makes little sense to hold on to the middle name. My sisters also bear their husband's first names as their middle name.

midnighter:


Lol. you try o

Hope he appreciates it

Yeah...lol

careytommy37:
How is this name change issue relevant in the grand scheme of things as a family?

It doesn't feel cool for members of a nuclear family to bear different surnames.
Once an aunt with a issue similar to this (though caused by her husband who wanted their children to bear his first name as surname) went to her kid's school and quoted their names as the family name. She so felt embarrassed when d VP didn't understand before she recalled dt she bore a Mrs different frm d children. That was one of d reasons d family decided dt d kids compounded d two names,which led to d children having to shorten either their first/middle names to accommodate standard exams forms.

Omoluabi16:
If you are not ready to drop your maiden name, then remain in your father's house forever. Why are we Even discussing this? All this useless feminist who should be focusing on women emancipation and core issues like Rape, FGM and trafficking will be trying to prove what they are not. They think men are their biggest problem. Their wise mothers and Grandmothers got on peacefully and were fulfilled. Rubbish.

That's why I don't buy this feminism thing especially as it seems to have to do with turning against men and making it seem like there is a competition between the two sexes.

Adopting husband's surname should not be a debate issue sincerely. Why am I holding on to my father's name? When it's not even my own name

midnighter:
In the past i was adamant that i would keep it or double it-as per Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Chimamanda Adichie- but i have changed my mind. Its you that makes your name, not the other way around. no need to cling onto it unnecessarily

The lawyer is exaggerating though, im sure maiden name retention does not lead to divorce. it depends who the people are

Its not really here or there. in my place (and i guess other igbo places) theyll always call you by your fathers name, whether married or not. Guys on this forum keep saying that our mothers and grandmothers made better wives. So now what?

Its more of a superficial issue. if the man insists, just change it because there are more important battles to be fought down the line

Nne, iji ya �. My mum's relatives still call by her maiden name

My question is . If you don't keep your husband's name . What will u bear as Mrs ?



Mrs ( maiden name ) ?

While your husband's name is not in mention with the Mrs ? BUT YOUR father's name us mentioned .


Anywhere u see Mrs . It is expected that after your name , your husband's name should follow . Except I'm wrong and I need someone to prove that .

Abeg I be my Papa's pikin,
I love my man and we are cool with the name issue