The only thing I see here is that cosmass was in a hurry to get married and I believe that was why she went for a guy much too older and thinking that the guy was already made could be more exciting. This attitude mostly common among the female folks and frankly speaking putting guys of your age group at the back stage is not called for. You never know who is who until you try. Stop living in a fantasy world.

You may not want to accept this openly but I know what I am talking about. It was for this same reason that my girl friend ,who is a student at the University of Portharcourt, met a guy and started a relationship with him. Even though I could not prove it initially, I knew she was already dating someone else because it showed from her attitude because most times everything I do makes her angry. I was completely irritating to her. God knows that I hardly offended her. I became a nobody automatically.Though I was in Benin City and still cared for her. I sent her money whenever I could,not because I am from a rich family but because I wanted to be the best that I could.

Somehow , I caught her red handed. I spoke to the guy without revealing my true identity and the guy was saying things like , she is my love, I want to marry her, this and that. From her description, I realized that the guy could be around 35 or 37 years of age and she was just 21 then while I was 24. Though she later apologized that she was no longer seeing the guy, (lie)

Long story short, The guy deflowered her and stopped showing interest in her after deceiving her with marriage and other stuff.

Today she want us to continue, she thinks I am stupid to accept what others could not. AFTER insulting me because of the other guy. saying that I dont plan ahead ,I dont have a future, I take my relationship too serious, , all this because she wanted to MARRY QUICKLY.


I know I have nothing at the moment but when I finally graduate from school in 2 years time, She will know who the real me is. She will practically see it that I had plans for the future

What she never knew then was that I had a serious plan to marry her. I dont flirt though from a very rough background, I am a really ghetto boy but my personality does not reveal it. Why? Because I know where I am going.

The girl has no choice today while I do. She really wants me but I still play mr cool until when I am done with her then I will find a nice looking chick,tall, light skinned and MARRY!

Who win at last?

So girl learn from your mistake

Cosmass, I am waiting for your comment on this

2sexy:

The only thing I see here is that cosmass was in a hurry to get married and I believe that was why she went for a guy much too older and thinking that the guy was already made could be more exciting. This attitude mostly common among the female folks and frankly speaking putting guys of your age group at the back stage is not called for. You never know who is who until you try. Stop living in a fantasy world.

You may not want to accept this openly but I know what I am talking about. It was for this same reason that my girl friend ,who is a student at the University of Portharcourt, met a guy and started a relationship with him. Even though I could not prove it initially, I knew she was already dating someone else because it showed from her attitude because most times everything I do makes her angry. I was completely irritating to her. God knows that I hardly offended her. I became a nobody automatically.Though I was in Benin City and still cared for her. I sent her money whenever I could,not because I am from a rich family but because I wanted to be the best that I could.

Somehow , I caught her red handed. I spoke to the guy without revealing my true identity and the guy was saying things like , she is my love, I want to marry her, this and that. From her description, I realized that the guy could be around 35 or 37 years of age and she was just 21 then while I was 24. Though she later apologized that she was no longer seeing the guy, (lie)

Long story short, The guy deflowered her and stopped showing interest in her after deceiving her with marriage and other stuff.

Today she want us to continue, she thinks I am silly to accept what others could not. AFTER insulting me because of the other guy. saying that I dont plan ahead ,I dont have a future, I take my relationship too serious, , all this because she wanted to MARRY QUICKLY.


I know I have nothing at the moment but when I finally graduate from school in 2 years time, She will know who the real me is. She will practically see it that I had plans for the future

What she never knew then was that I had a serious plan to marry her. I dont flirt though from a very rough background, I am a really ghetto boy but my personality does not reveal it. Why? Because I know where I am going.

The girl has no choice today while I do. She really wants me but I still play mr cool until when I am done with her then I will find a nice looking chick,tall, light skinned and MARRY!

Who win at last?

So girl learn from your mistake

Cosmass, I am waiting for your comment on this

Here I am. First of all, I am in no hurry to be married, he is actually the one that is in a hurry to get married and aside the age issues, he thought i was not ready to be committed to him. Secondly, when I met him, I met him as any other guy would approach me and we connected. It happened he was of his age and I was mine.
Thirdly, He wasn't my first love or the one that deflowered me.

cosmasss , so, now wat really do u want to do
what do u realy want to hear

Am not sure this madam wants to listen to the advise you guys are giving her her.

I went thru the same thing at your age, the guy was the age your guy is today, people advised me against it but i wouldnt listen, until he dumped me like a hot potatoe, i thought i would die but today, i am most grateful to God that that relationship didnt work, i would have been miserable all my life, because all i did was try to please him.

I am married today to one of the most wonderful men, and he is my age mate.

@op, without mincing words, the guy is too old for u; 12yrs age gap is totally unacceptable in a normal condition, except you are desperate to MARRY! I for sure feel your pain, but then, u need to be cautious of dating older men next time cos it hardly works out or ends well. The guy must have come for a fling & u unknowingly fell in love with him (I always wonder y girls fall more easily for older men, viz. high school girls always want to date versity guys, versity girls want to date working class guys, working class ladies want to date married men & married ladies eye old divorcees, ) which was the origin of your mistake, so wipe ur tears & start all over again, u are still young ok? ppl saying u r too young to marry, I doubt them cos ur old enof to marry- in fact d best age for a lady to marry is 25 - 27yrs to avoid birth complications, 32+ isnt good, but most are still single @dat age, & we cnt blame them. so to say, 22yrs with a degree is ok to marry. but for now, let him go so u dnt look so frustrated & clingy. remember: better is not enough becos ur best is yet to COME! Good luck!

Cosmass: Is there anything I can do to convince him about the age? That I am willing to work with him. I have tried everything but still to no avail. He said the age difference would always be there. He is 12 years older than I am. It hurts so much because he said he liked me a lot, we connected but the age difference would always be at the back of his mind. I am so hurt. Wish I could do something different.
I already have my degree and if he wants to settle, I am willing but all to no avail.

that boyfriend of urs was neva in love wit u or he had a serious relationship all along,most guys even prefer ladies that are more younger, and since ure done wit uni, he has no excuse...if u had been watchful all along u would av noticed some moves

Mtchewwwww i was going to think u were older until i opened it.....its even better he seniors u that much or less....my dear he's making up excuses to leave u....u better think well....n if i may ask how old r u?

chiama1: Am not sure this madam wants to listen to the advise you guys are giving her her.

I went thru the same thing at your age, the guy was the age your guy is today, people advised me against it but i wouldnt listen, until he dumped me like a hot potatoe, i thought i would die but today, i am most grateful to God that that relationship didnt work, i would have been miserable all my life, because all i did was try to please him.

I am married today to one of the most wonderful men, and he is my age mate.

Are u for real...ur age mate...am currently dating my age mate n since when i discovered i have been feeling somehow like it will never work out....

Bottomline is that this guy is tired and wants to retire. The age thingy is just an excuse. Now you need to pull back, stop whining and let go. And its easy, just think of how much better you deserve.

Unless your boyfriend looks like a 50yr old man already and you still look like a teen. Anything less is just an excuse to breakup.

I thought you have done your traditional marriage in another thread

Many people here are saying 12 years difference is too much. From my point of view 12 years gap in age is not much. My elder brother is 12 years older than his wife and you woun't notice the difference.

If Cosmass was 28 and the man is 40, would you people say the difference in age is much?

There is no barrier in age when it come's to marriage. Your man has reasons for not wanting to continue with you. Reasons he doesn't want to disclose to you.

Relationships are very complex things.

He his tired of u...next time close ur legs till the age gap reduces to normal..usually after an eclipse

well..
I tink the guy is a nice guy and most probably feels hurt leaving u. u attest to him being a good man and nice and seeking commitment. Guys dat just wona play u don't go having these attributes. what I see here is a guy who came out of a broken relationship yet wanted to forge ahead with life with a heart open and ready for commitment and luv in any his next relationship. You guys met normally and he liked u bad tho he openly expressed his doubts as to compatibility in marriage given your age difference. Furthermore the liitle tins u do, way u handle issues, fights that come up and ur disposition in it and also ur disposition to the numerous admirers around u must have fuelled his doubts. The guy luvs u but understands that marriage is complex and way bigger than his luv for u. marriage involves responsibility,duties, forbearance, strength and sacrifice from both parties which he cld not affirm in u. he's not secure in the relationship and fears a future of incompatibility.
l suggest you let him go.
you def have a happier life out there waiting.
he's good for you but you may not be good for him.

..besides wat made u say such sh*it like " u done with tha relationship" wen u don't mean it? ...u just went on fuelling his fears!

Abegii! Is Jay-Z not 10yrs older dan Beyonce? anyway d guy wants to end d rltship n he is luking for an excuse, probably he does not mean dis literally n is being figurative, he's probably trying to say u act childish. U're d one supposed to b breaking up with him here! Do not despair, he probably has oda reasons, u're a young graduate n d world is at ur feet, enjoy d single life n try meeting pple. Have fun honey! For all u know he has one 26yr old babe on his neck. U're too young to b sad

I don't fink its bAd,afterall my bf z 14 yrs olda nd its workin.

tomnmenace: well..
I tink the guy is a nice guy and most probably feels hurt leaving u. u attest to him being a good man and nice and seeking commitment. Guys dat just wona play u don't go having these attributes. what I see here is a guy who came out of a broken relationship yet wanted to forge ahead with life with a heart open and ready for commitment and luv in any his next relationship. You guys met normally and he liked u bad tho he openly expressed his doubts as to compatibility in marriage given your age difference. Furthermore the liitle tins u do, way u handle issues, fights that come up and ur disposition in it and also ur disposition to the numerous admirers around u must have fuelled his doubts. The guy luvs u but understands that marriage is complex and way bigger than his luv for u. marriage involves responsibility,duties, forbearance, strength and sacrifice from both parties which he cld not affirm in u. he's not secure in the relationship and fears a future of incompatibility.
l suggest you let him go.
you def have a happier life out there waiting.
he's good for you but you may not be good for him.

..besides wat made u say such sh*it like " u done with tha relationship" wen u don't mean it? ...u just went on fuelling his fears!

Is this the guy?

Look at his age. Are you sure he is not already married.

The only reason people are saying His too old for u is because ur young because 12yrs ain't too old but for your age now u shouldn't be thinking of marriage instead be focusing on your life what's the rush all about I'm sure his way matured than you and has achieved a lot already and u quite young and hasn't achieved that much... Pls focus on your life and how to make it not thinking of one man.... If he sees or age difference as a problem leave him and move on.. He might be looking for a more matured woman with whom they will grow together and u were just a gf material.

that man of your better open up n b honest with u. age ain't the reason he dumped u sugar. a men wouldn't care less if he were 12 years older than u , the only thing that would matter would be u u wer the one older. He got issues

texanomaly:

Is this the guy?

but tink bout it, u luv this way younger lady but found out she acts immature over serious issues or her disposition to certain matters is not foolproof as u dream or fantasize ur future home and partner to be. wat wld u advice??
moreover u suspected such from the onset, but u went along feeling u cld be wrong?
..tha relationship is just 7 months old! Time he took to affirm his fears. They should let go amicably and allow tha best come to them.

tomnmenace:

but tink bout it, u luv this way younger lady but found out she acts immature over serious issues or her disposition to certain matters is not foolproof as u dream or fantasize ur future home and partner to be. wat wld u advice??
moreover u suspected such from the onset, but u went along feeling u cld be wrong?
..tha relationship is just 7 months old! Time he took to affirm his fears. They should let go amicably and allow tha best come to them.

You may be right. It is wise to step back and look at it from a rational point of view. LOVE is not enough to sustain a marriage.

Cosmass: He is so ready to settle down. He is very responsible and wants to settle. That's even my fear, he would get someone closer to his age as he said and settle.

dear some times, some things happen not because we deserve em buh because of the fact that God loves us and he sees and knows more about the future than we humans...that's all I have to tell u...I believe he was the one that approached u..and u have been dating all the while right? And he never thought about the age, why should it be now? Or is the age he wants to marry? Providd u are of age and matured enough I don't c any reason why he shouldn't marry you...buh one thing am sure about is that God has a better plan for you...so allow him to take charge of things and let ur man go look for age...goodluck!

Funny how people are still commenting in a thread created since 2010. She's probably married now or forgotten she started a topic on NL

Lovexme: Funny how people are still commenting in a thread created since 2010. She's probably married now or forgotten she started a topic on NL

Lool for realz I feel awkward

Lovexme: Funny how people are still commenting in a thread created since 2010. She's probably married now or forgotten she started a topic on NL

Hahaha

I didn't even notice.
Well I think someone got something out of it.