I have been on Quora and Reddit for quite sometime and I don't like American culture to be honest. There's much to be desired but the vast majority just pisses me off. I was reading a post on reddit and, O boy, most of the commenters said the OP is an asshole because, on kids adopting a hyphenated surname, among other reasons for the roasting, he said his kids taking a hypenated surname would make him, "to despise the name/children and it wouldn’t be healthy for the relationships." And that got me thinking. The woman has very good reasons to make that demands because she doesn’t want her family name to die (From her step father) as all his children are women, but I asked myself, must he compromise? Is he an asshole because he wouldn't compromise? I honestly disagree!

Oh, and after all, she suffered all the pain of pregnancy and childbirth and this is not a place where men pay bride price. Both genders have equal rights in the partnership. It's an American forum, of course, I wasn't expecting anything else. So I would like the opinion of men, especially married men on Nairaland even though your opinion doesn't really represent Nigerians as a whole. If the guy's question had been, am I a asshole for preventing my wife from keeping her name? O boy, that guy don enter one chance, them do roast am tire!

What is a deal breaker for you guys? Your wife refuses to take your name after marriage for no reason other than she doesn't want to. Your wife is insisting that your kids must necessarily take her father's name, or she divorces you. Your wife is asking for a compromise, kid's take a hyphenated surname where her name comes first then yours or yours comes first and then hers. Your wife makes roughly the same income as you do and insists that you do the house chores, cooking, washing the dishes etc etc, 50/50 since you equally contribute in maintenance. You wash today, she wash tomorrow, like drafting a timetable. You don't contribute equally but she gives her fair share? She relies on you? You have to compromise on everything because you don't have the final word, like a partnership. Which of these guys, is a deal-breaker for you? I don't want response from teenagers who don't know any better.

to each their own misery... whoever does NOT like this type of culture, should stay away from marrying into it. i see absolutely NOTHING wrong with Americans doing exactly what they desire, when it comes to marriage. EOD!

What people don’t really understand is that the hand wey u take handle ur wife when u dating matter most, cause when u get married she knows she no fit dey reason u any nonsense talk like this one, I’m not in support of beating woman or abusing them ooo but there are ways you handle them, I can cook clean and do house chores with my wife not on compulsory basis ooo, or we sharing am 50/50 even if she dey earn more than me I will still be in charge, I will take the kids from Sch Nd all but that doesn’t say cause I or anyone do all that you should now be a fool to the extent of your wife telling you she want to be retain her fathers name.. well to me personally it can’t happen sha, even if Na white or black Americans ooo, cause the way I don handle u sef Na u go dey tell me when we still dating that I can’t wait to sharing your name with you and have my kids bear your name

MrBrownJay1:
to each their own misery... whoever does NOT like this type of culture, should stay away from marrying into it. i see absolutely NOTHING wrong with Americans doing exactly what they desire, when it comes to marriage. EOD!

Yes I understand your point of view, just trying to hear from a Nigerian point of view, or better still, a conservative traditional point of view. I drop comments that sometimes voices traditional conservative beliefs on those forums and methinks I am assuming too much that's why I asked here. And yes, I could not agree more, anyone who doesn't want to deal with all that shouldn't marry any of their women.

Blackmiserable:
Yes I understand your point of view, just trying to hear from a Nigerian point of view, or better still, a conservative traditional point of view. I drop comments that sometimes voices traditional conservative beliefs on those forums and methinks I am assuming too much that's why I asked here. And yes, I could not agree more, anyone who doesn't want to deal with all that shouldn't marry any of their women.

the thing is, the culture is different in Africa thus majority wouldnt understand because they havent lived long enough in the US etc to comprehend why people act the way they do. a person born there certainly would...

Iamicekid:
What people don’t really understand is that the hand wey u take handle ur wife when u dating matter most, cause when u get married she knows she no fit dey reason u any nonsense talk like this one, I’m not in support of beating woman or abusing them ooo but there are ways you handle them, I can cook clean and do house chores with my wife not on compulsory basis ooo, or we sharing am 50/50 even if she dey earn more than me I will still be in charge, I will take the kids from Sch Nd all but that doesn’t say cause I or anyone do all that you should now be a fool to the extent of your wife telling you she want to be retain her fathers name.. well to me personally it can’t happen sha, even if Na white or black Americans ooo, cause the way I don handle u sef Na u go dey tell me when we still dating that I can’t wait to sharing your name with you and have my kids bear your name

I think I agree with you. Every man whether he earns millions or earns peanut should help do house chores, but as a point of duty? Abegi oo!!! I have heard of many women in Nollywood who didn't take up hubby's name but I don't know of any in my daily life who did, lol. Meanwhile, if you look at White marriages, it's staggering different. And also, on the other point of discussions I talked about. The margin could bleed any standard of comparisons, lol. You get!!!

MrBrownJay1:


the thing is, the culture is different in Africa thus majority wouldnt understand because they havent lived long enough in the US etc to comprehend why people act the way they do. a person born there certainly would...

Yes, the standards is different in the US but the standards changed some 40 years ago. Did it change for the better or worse? It wasn't like that 100, 200, or 250 years back, even in the US. The culture is not just limited to Africa, but Asia and pretty much some parts of Europe. The Carribeans and even South America.

Blackmiserable:
Yes, the standards is different in the US but the standards changed some 40 years ago. Did it change for the better or worse? It wasn't like that 100, 200, or 250 years back, even in the US. The culture is not just limited to Africa, but Asia and pretty much some parts of Europe. The Carribeans and even South America.

people evolve, they change, they adapt to their environment and in the direction of their culture... furthermore, in this day and age of technology and internet, you cant possibly compare life (even) 20ys ago, with life today... in whatever subject.

in many of today's society, women DEMAND to be viewed as equally as their life partner, thus keeping their names etc

MrBrownJay1:


people evolve, they change, they adapt to their environment and in the direction of their culture... furthermore, in this day and age of technology and internet, you cant possibly compare life (even) 20ys ago, with life today... in whatever subject.

in many of today's society, women DEMAND to be viewed as equally as their life partner, thus keeping their names etc

Nice profile pics, by the way, where's that? Traditional gender roles is NOT oppressing women, not in any form or fashion. For goodness sake, how is it oppressing women? Women taking their husband's name, looking after the home and kids, listening to hubby's words as final if it doesn't violate God's commandments or merely a matter of opinion since there can hardly be two drivers in a vehicle etc etc. People also change for the worse; I hope you understand that? Is this a forward or backward change? Do you see only ugliness and awkwardness in this otherwise beautiful living standards? As for me, and I believe I speak for a large majority of Nigerians, I'd rather remain single, I am not in any way the bossy type tbh, than marry a woman with this western attitude and mentality whether they live in the West or in Naija. Cut your coat, they say, according to your size!

Blackmiserable:

Nice profile pics, by the way, where's that? Traditional gender roles is NOT oppressing women, not in any form or fashion. For goodness sake, how is it oppressing women? Women taking their husband's name, looking after the home and kids, listening to hubby's words as final if it doesn't violate God's commandments or merely a matter of opinion since there can hardly be two drivers in a vehicle etc etc. People also change for the worse; I hope you understand that? Is this a forward or backward change? Do you see only ugliness and awkwardness in this otherwise beautiful living standards? As for me, and I believe I speak for a large majority of Nigerians, I'd rather remain single, I am not in any way the bossy type tbh, than marry a woman with this western attitude and mentality whether they live in the West or in Naija. Cut your coat, they say, according to your size!

Is not about avoiding certain set of people or not I have brothers wey b my blood related that are dating white girls and they had kids they are not even married favor bears our family name, same as Daniel bears our family name and this are different woman from in the United State they want to be part of the family sef but don’t know why my bros are still wasting time, I still go back to my main cause is the way you handle this woman that determines the way dey handle you, I want to visit one of my friend in SA and around 9pm in his flat he called me to come and see something it’s his neighbor begging his wife to let him in and the girl was telling him to go back to where he is coming from, I was so pissed that night to the extent I was like why will she do that and my friend was saying that how she does and some other people in the estate wey marry 9ja woman that how they do they chase there husband outside if they come late and that’s why he can never marry a 9ja woman and I myself was thinking twice that day, he said they change all of a sudden they enter another man country

Iamicekid:












Is not about avoiding certain set of people or not I have brothers wey b my blood related that are dating white girls and they had kids they are not even married favor bears our family name, same as Daniel bears our family name and this are different woman from in the United State they want to be part of the family sef but don’t know why my bros are still wasting time, I still go back to my main cause is the way you handle this woman that determines the way dey handle you, I want to visit one of my friend in SA and around 9pm in his flat he called me to come and see something it’s his neighbor begging his wife to let him in and the girl was telling him to go back to where he is coming from, I was so pissed that night to the extent I was like why will she do that and my friend was saying that how she does and some other people in the estate wey marry 9ja woman that how they do they chase there husband outside if they come late and that’s why he can never marry a 9ja woman and I myself was thinking twice that day, he said they change all of a sudden they enter another man country

Trust me guy, I have seen it all. I am a Reddit freak and I have read it all. Even though the opinion of redditors and Quorans doesn't reflect all America as a whole. The White woman is more exposed, she feels she has a right, you dare not Bleep with her, but walk through a Nigerian city and you'd see that many females who would take so many shits and don't even argue it that the Whites wouldn't, not because they are ignorant but it's got to do with a combination of factors. As for name, most females I have read about on predominantly White forums said they took hubby's name because they hated theirs, haha, lol, it's too difficult to pronounce, wanted to share name with their kids and not because they wanted to share their identity with their husbands, only a few echoed that. After all, as they say, that's incredibly sexist. I can give you reddit links if you don't mind.

Yes, there are women who do what they want either in Naija, US, Finland or Senegal, lol, so I get you. I'm saying, take for example adopting husband's name, imo, 2/10 adopt husband's name in America while 9/10 do it here. The way you handle her matters a lot but it's borderline irrelevant. A White woman wey no care about divorce knowing full well the courts will side her, wey no give 2 Bleep about you, knowing full well she could launch into the dating sphere and get another person easily. Ogbeni, forget that thing!!! Na Naija lady got stigma to deal with. Those women dey craze for head oo and it's affecting African-American women immensely, very immensely, too. I actually thought of dating White women but I cannot put up with their shit, so decided against that. Where do you find women with that traditional mentality? In space, lol, I guess because they are few and far between! I am the man, we both enjoy the love, freedom, and all that but you have to listen to me, lol. I asked one fellow on Reddit some minutes ago and the fellow said he/she would divorce her/his husband if he didn't agree to hyphenate their kid's name. Divorce/breakup with hubby for this? Yes, that's what I'm talking about and it's really that bad!

Blackmiserable:
Nice profile pics, by the way, where's that?

Rio de Janeiro

Traditional gender roles is NOT oppressing women, not in any form or fashion. For goodness sake, how is it oppressing women? Women taking their husband's name, looking after the home and kids, listening to hubby's words as final if it doesn't violate God's commandments or merely a matter of opinion since there can hardly be two drivers in a vehicle etc etc. People also change for the worse; I hope you understand that? Is this a forward or backward change? Do you see only ugliness and awkwardness in this otherwise beautiful living standards? As for me, and I believe I speak for a large majority of Nigerians, I'd rather remain single, I am not in any way the bossy type tbh, than marry a woman with this western attitude and mentality whether they live in the West or in Naija. Cut your coat, they say, according to your size!

i dont think the above was meant for me.... but let me just say that bringing religion to this issue is a sure way to stray away from the main issue here. the majority of what you read in holy books was written generations ago and certainly shouldnt be used today. many xtians deliberately/selfishly disregard many of the words of that said holy book

MrBrownJay1:


Rio de Janeiro



i dont think the above was meant for me.... but let me just say that bringing religion to this issue is a sure way to stray away from the main issue here. the majority of what you read in holy books was written generations ago and certainly shouldnt be used today. many xtians deliberately/selfishly disregard many of the words of that said holy book

Nice place, haha! There you go again! Playing the religion card when we talk about traditional gender roles. How are they related? Even Pagans who know nothing about Christianity, Islam or the Jewish religion have imbibed this standard of living, only few dissenters btw which is to be expected for any beliefs system Do you know that gender roles have taken precendence because it's just a natural morph of the genders? It's almost nature-inspired. The roles of the genders have always been evident. In lands thousands of miles apart where the two natives have not the slightest clue they even exist, it just happens by virtue of natural revelation that they obey traditional gender roles to thee letter--like the woman's chief responsibility is to care for the infants and by extension, the home. You fit breastfeed? Abi God give you, man, nursing roles? The man is physically stronger so he can go out hunting and other strenuous tasks that puts food on the table, nothing of Bible here, just natural revelation. I'm not saying it must be right because it has been in vogue since the inception of man, on the contrary, I'm only saying it has nothing to do with religion. Religion may only re-echo what's clearly evident.

Blackmiserable:


Nice place, haha! There you go again! Playing the religion card when we talk about traditional gender roles. How are they related? Even Pagans who know nothing about Christianity, Islam or the Jewish religion have imbibed this standard of living, only few dissenters btw which is to be expected for any beliefs system Do you know that gender roles have taken precendence because it's just a natural morph of the genders? It's almost nature-inspired. The roles of the genders have always been evident. In lands thousands of miles apart where the two natives have not the slightest clue they even exist, it just happens by virtue of natural revelation that they obey traditional gender roles to thee letter--

bro you are the one who started bringing religion to this issue... and i just replied to your comment.

like the woman's chief responsibility is to care for the infants and by extension, the home.

as much as it is IDEAL to some cultures if women do, it certainly aint their main responsibility. the fact that you believe it is, shows us all the failed outlook you have on women, and probably why you look down on women abroad who dont abide by your holy book's teachings.

You fit breastfeed?

- if mummy dies during childbirth, would that child die too because you cant breastfeed?!
- cant you raise a child (with formula) without breastfeeding him/her?
- do you think that men and women are NOT EQUAL when it comes to making/raising a child?!

Abi God give you, man, nursing roles?

it is very easy to take care of a child, if women can do it then we men certainly can too.... saying otherwise would be an insult to us men!
whether your god likes it or not!

The man is physically stronger so he can go out hunting and other strenuous tasks that puts food on the table, nothing of Bible here, just natural revelation. I'm not saying it must be right because it has been in vogue since the inception of man, on the contrary, I'm only saying it has nothing to do with religion. Religion may only re-echo what's clearly evident.

so because men are physically stronger, how on earth should that make women inferior in marriage?! you make no bloody sense!
marriage is a partnership and both willingly decide what their role is going to be in that said union. just because the majority of people decide that it would be easier for a man to go to work while mama stays home caring for kids/home, does NOT make it a necessity for women/men to do so. what works for Jide, might not work for Kunle. let each and everyone decide whats best for them, instead of trying to enforce your views unto others.

MrBrownJay1:


bro you are the one who started bringing religion to this issue... and i just replied to your comment.



as much as it is IDEAL to some cultures if women do, it certainly aint their main responsibility. the fact that you believe it is, shows us all the failed outlook you have on women, and probably why you look down on women abroad who dont abide by your holy book's teachings.

Sounds nice, hahaha. It ain't their main responsibility? Don't cause a scene here, man. It is the woman's main responsibility to care for the child and by implication her home, since she cares for the child at home. And making that obvious doesn't make my outlook on women bad. You went ahead to prove your point.

MrBrownJay1:

- if mummy dies during childbirth, would that child die too because you cant breastfeed?!

I don't get! What's the point of this argument? Are you saying the fact that bad things happen implies there's no chief responsibility? Granted, chief responsibility could change in a different circumstances or scenario but we're talking ceteris paribus here.

MrBrownJay1:

- cant you raise a child (with formula) without breastfeeding him/her?
- do you think that men and women are NOT EQUAL when it comes to making/raising a child?

Again, I don't exactly get your point. Go and tell your 10th century great grand father whose wife died in childbirth to use formula. I think that helps!!! Wait oo, we just got a hang of these things recently! I mean we just became modern recently but people have always survived. How do they cope with new borns whose mom died? Formula? The child needs milk in the first few years and I doubt another woman doesn't breastfeed the baby, and I mean everywhere until the 19th century. One fellow even said, when his mom died, motherly roles was the main reason he didn't live with his dad. And even if primitive people who have always survived (How?) did manage to get formula, it cannot be compared to the warmth, nutrient, and comfort the child derives by sucking at the breast. Remember, food, unlike mobile phones, electricity is one of the basic necessities of life. Now, because of this progressive mentality, many women (I mean Western women) no longer breastfeed their child, and talking about motherly/femine role for the woman is at best sexist, chai. My point is, when the mother dies, there's a void that has to be filled by another woman because a man cannot properly fit in. Men and women have responsibilities for the child but IT IS THE WOMAN who carries way more responsibility. It certainly is not my responsibility to birth the child? Can we share that? Did the maker delegate equal responsibility for child birth to both sexes? Can we both nurse the child? Also, did the maker delegate equal responsibility for breastfeeding to both sexes? Call me sexist and to be very very honest, I agree 100%, that's why in a sense White women do not appeal to me.

MrBrownJay1:

it is very easy to take care of a child, if women can do it then we men certainly can too.... saying otherwise would be an insult to us men! whether your god likes it or not!

Let me ask you. Do you know how many times new borns suck at the breast in just one year? Your mother calls you and delegates washing dishes to you, cooking to your elder sister, sweeping the parlour to younger brother, your elder brother washes daddy's car. He also wash daddy and mummy's clothes. And he's throwing tantrum saying it's not fair. But why? He's insisting that he get to carry out two hard chores while his younger ones only do one. He was made to understand that although division of labour is necessary; his younger ones cannot wash daddy's thick jeans like he could or mummy's sweater and as a matter of fact, their hands cannot get to the top of his car *wetin dem dey call am sef* like his hand could. Besides he can do it far better than any of them could. If God wanted both genders to share equally in nursing the child, he could. He would either give men the ability to birth and women the ability to nurse or vice versa. Did he do that? No. Nursing the child is the responsibility of both parent but it is the mother's main responsibility. Period.

MrBrownJay1:


because men are physically stronger, how on earth should that make women inferior in marriage?! you make no bloody sense!
marriage is a partnership and both willingly decide what their role is going to be in that said union. just because the majority of people decide that it would be easier for a man to go to work while mama stays home caring for kids/home, does NOT make it a necessity for women/men to do so.

Like the existence of God (some believe a stone is God, others trees, while others the sun, but there seems to be a general consensus among men that there's a God. What that God is, is the bone of contention), does it not strike a cord when the general consensus of people thousands of miles apart, separated by oceans and seas, who know absolutely nothing about each other and worship differently conclude the same thing? What is bringing people to that conclusion? Are women physical stronger? If no, what does strength tells you about provision? If we have different biological structures doesn't it say much about responsibilities? . You think we're talking about 21st century white collar job here where you only have to pick phone calls, sit down all day long signing documents?

MrBrownJay1:

what works for Jide, might not work for Kunle. let each and everyone decide whats best for them, instead of trying to enforce your views unto others.

It works for them and it may not work for us. I am glad I met another progressive Nigerian and that's about it. The essence of my post is TO HEAR opinion of people (Nigerians) who have somewhat different beliefs to the White. Carry your pikin go office, if the pikin dey hungry, rush am go him mama place, na you go tire, you know how many times new borns dey chop in a day? If you think my opinion is sexist, yours too is sexist to me, because I don't see how nursing roles can be equitable. Everyone has a right to believe what they want to and that's it. I'm out on an opinion venture not a judgemental one. Thanks!!!!

Blackmiserable:
Sounds nice, hahaha. It ain't their main responsibility? Don't cause a scene here, man. It is the woman's main responsibility to care for the child and by implication her home, since she cares for the child at home. And making that obvious doesn't make my outlook on women bad. You went ahead to prove your point.

apart from your holy book, where does it says that women's MAIN responsibility in any union is to care for children and home? just because it was ideal doing it for years DOES NOT mean that this is their duties. in today's world, women work just as hard as men, thus bringing home just as much cheddar as men (as painful as it may be for you to hear), therefore when they get home both will share the duty of raising/caring for children AND taking care of the household TOGETHER.

yes, your follow-follow clouded mind would rather men are the only one making money so that you can CONTROL women and keep them obedient to your BS, but sadly that was back in the days, and certainly not today (especially not in Nigeria where most have houseboy/girl to do all the chores etc)

I don't get! What's the point of this argument? Are you saying the fact that bad things happen implies there's no chief responsibility? Granted, chief responsibility could change in a different circumstances or scenario but we're talking ceteris paribus here.

let me try to explain it to you, like a 5yr old... people should ALWAYS focus on what is most ideal for the wellbeing of their family. therefore, the responsibility of raising kids should lay with the partner most suited for it AT THAT PARTICULAR TIME. expecting a woman to give everything up, and put the wellbeing of the family in jeopardy because of the ego of men (and that holy book of yours), is not only stoopid but also outdated.

Again, I don't exactly get your point. Go and tell your 10th century great grand father whose wife died in childbirth to use formula. I think that helps!!! Wait oo, we just got a hang of these things recently! I mean we just became modern recently but people have always survived. How do they cope with new borns whose mom died? Formula? The child needs milk in the first few years and I doubt another woman doesn't breastfeed the baby, and I mean everywhere until the 19th century. One fellow even said, when his mom died, motherly roles was the main reason he didn't live with his dad. And even if primitive people who have always survived (How?) did manage to get formula, it cannot be compared to the warmth, nutrient, and comfort the child derives by sucking at the breast. Remember, food, unlike mobile phones, electricity is one of the basic necessities of life. Now, because of this progressive mentality, many women (I mean Western women) no longer breastfeed their child, and talking about motherly/femine role for the woman is at best sexist, chai. My point is, when the mother dies, there's a void that has to be filled by another woman because a man cannot properly fit in. Men and women have responsibilities for the child but IT IS THE WOMAN who carries way more responsibility. It certainly is not my responsibility to birth the child? Can we share that? Did the maker delegate equal responsibility for child birth to both sexes? Can we both nurse the child? Also, did the maker delegate equal responsibility for breastfeeding to both sexes? Call me sexist and to be very very honest, I agree 100%, that's why in a sense White women do not appeal to me.

stop coming online to spew the outdated stuff that is written in your holy book... but hey let me EDUCATE YOU on the subject, since you are clearly clueless about the issue. do you know what a breast pump is?! do you know that a woman can give breast milk to her child while not even being next to that child?! or do you think we are still living in the 12th century?!

Let me ask you. Do you know how many times new borns suck at the breast in just one year? Your mother calls you and delegates washing dishes to you, cooking to your elder sister, sweeping the parlour to younger brother, your elder brother washes daddy's car. He also wash daddy and mummy's clothes. And he's throwing tantrum saying it's not fair. But why? He's insisting that he get to carry out two hard chores while his younger ones only do one. He was made to understand that although division of labour is necessary; his younger ones cannot wash daddy's thick jeans like he could or mummy's sweater and as a matter of fact, their hands cannot get to the top of his car *wetin dem dey call am sef* like his hand could. Besides he can do it far better than any of them could. If God wanted both genders to share equally in nursing the child, he could. He would either give men the ability to birth and women the ability to nurse or vice versa. Did he do that? No. Nursing the child is the responsibility of both parent but it is the mother's main responsibility. Period.

what a pile of arrant nonsense!!!!! you CANT come here using the bible trying to make one point, then disregard what is written in that exact same bible to try to make another point on that same subject. duh! your holy book says that children MUST obey their parents, so if parent give chores to their kids, they certainly MUST do it and shut the fukc up. as usual, you follow-follow xtians selfishly trying to use your holy book only when it fits your agenda. here since you have amnesia....
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Leviticus 19: 3 Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the LORD your God.
Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

btw raising/caring for an infant has absolutely NOTHING to do with giving birth to a child. only a mother can give birth to a child but ANYBODY can raise/care for that child... dont mix apples with oranges!

Like the existence of God (some believe a stone is God, others trees, while others the sun, but there seems to be a general consensus among men that there's a God. What that God is, is the bone of contention), does it not strike a cord when the general consensus of people thousands of miles apart, separated by oceans and seas, who know absolutely nothing about each other and worship differently conclude the same thing? What is bringing people to that conclusion? Are women physical stronger? If no, what does strength tells you about provision? If we have different biological structures doesn't it say much about responsibilities? . You think we're talking about 21st century white collar job here where you only have to pick phone calls, sit down all day long signing documents?

bro, have you taken your meds today?! what kind of ARRANT DELUDED GIBBERISH NONSENSE is this?! are you ok?!
what does biological structure got to do with raising/caring for a child?! bwaaaaaaaaah!

It works for them and it may not work for us.

who is the "us" you are talking about?! xtians vs people with a functioning brain?!

MrBrownJay1:


apart from your holy book, where does it says that women's MAIN responsibility in any union is to care for children and home? just because it was ideal doing it for years DOES NOT mean that this is their duties. in today's world, women work just as hard as men, thus bringing home just as much cheddar as men (as painful as it may be for you to hear), therefore when they get home both will share the duty of raising/caring for children AND taking care of the household TOGETHER.

yes, your follow-follow clouded mind would rather men are the only one making money so that you can CONTROL women and keep them obedient to your BS, but sadly that was back in the days, and certainly not today (especially not in Nigeria where most have houseboy/girl to do all the chores etc)



let me try to explain it to you, like a 5yr old... people should ALWAYS focus on what is most ideal for the wellbeing of their family. therefore, the responsibility of raising kids should lay with the partner most suited for it AT THAT PARTICULAR TIME. expecting a woman to give everything up, and put the wellbeing of the family in jeopardy because of the ego of men (and that holy book of yours), is not only stoopid but also outdated.



stop coming online to spew the outdated stuff that is written in your holy book... but hey let me EDUCATE YOU on the subject, since you are clearly clueless about the issue. do you know what a breast pump is?! do you know that a woman can give breast milk to her child while not even being next to that child?! or do you think we are still living in the 12th century?!



what a pile of arrant nonsense!!!!! you CANT come here using the bible trying to make one point, then disregard what is written in that exact same bible to try to make another point on that same subject. duh! your holy book says that children MUST obey their parents, so if parent give chores to their kids, they certainly MUST do it and shut the fukc up. as usual, you follow-follow xtians selfishly trying to use your holy book only when it fits your agenda. here since you have amnesia....
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Leviticus 19: 3 Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the LORD your God.
Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

btw raising/caring for an infant has absolutely NOTHING to do with giving birth to a child. only a mother can give birth to a child but ANYBODY can raise/care for that child... dont mix apples with oranges!



bro, have you taken your meds today?! what kind of ARRANT DELUDED GIBBERISH NONSENSE is this?! are you ok?!
what does biological structure got to do with raising/caring for a child?! bwaaaaaaaaah!



who is the "us" you are talking about?! xtians vs people with a functioning brain?!

Nice to hear your opinion Jay. Let me hear others too.