tommy589:


What you wrote is not correct.I believe you have never encountered girls like this that's why it's easy for you to generalise. As the man of the house I have never molested the one staying with us,someone I know questioned if I had slept with her before when my wife called last week to report her.By nature I don't inspire fear in anyone same with my wife too.
Let me share two of many incidents that indicated she is probably beyond redemption;She was caught red-handed with a boy of 20 sometimes ago and denied the boy slept with her in the presence of police when we got to the police station.The recent one of two years ago was when One of the teachers of her former school saw her with another girl coming out of hotel and questioned their mission there,she said they visited her uncle lodging there that just came back from overseas. Girls that act this way are just naturally bad,it's not because they are undergoing an adolescent phase,they just want to be free without any adult supervision.

What you have yourself there is a natural rebel who, yes, you are very correct, has no redemption. Your not inspiring fear in her did not help. In fact, many will tell you that you are the cause of her developing into what she is.

However, if you examine the words of this lady, the op, you will realize that she is different from you and I guess your wife too. She disciplines and has been disciplining the girl to no avail and the whole thing seems centered around illicit sex. In fact, the girl appeared to be good until she turned 17-18.

You see, my mother used house helps extensively when I was growing up. We were five kids and she sure needed help with us and her store. Sometimes we had up to three house helps and I watched them develop from good to super bad. I even stopped one from raping my only sister when i was about 5 years old. I have three house helps of my own now in Lagos and others at my house in the village where my aunt stays.

There is nothing you can tell me about house helps I have not seen before. I've even seen the one that kept stealing quietly until he bought a bus and ran away. He was the one in charge of my mother's store, very trustworthy. Lol. I've seen the one that kept giving prostitues goods free of charge from the store and kept recieving sex in return until he caught Aids which started with s string of illness which refues to go away.

As late as 4 years ago, I had a 14-year-old girl helping my mum at our family home in Lagos. All seemed well until she developed the habit of vanishing ever 7 pm whenever you make the mistake of sending her on an errand. she had even slept out on two occasions. I flogged her to hell one day when she sneaked back home at 11 pm and then we took her for pregnancy test.... positive! Now the problem was who was the father? The stupid girl refused to talk. Rather than kill myself we just deported her home and gave her mother some money to shut her up.

With all these misbehaving house helps you would have thought my mum was weak or something. Naaaaa. My mom ws old fashioned. She will beat you for hours, tie yu up in a room and put pepper in your gentails and anus. In today's world, she would have been arrested many time for child abuse. (she's late now). She was more fearsome than my dad.

You see I speak with many years of experience on the matter at hand. And I still believe this woman's hubby must have tampered with the girl sexually. Of course, I could be wrong. But I have seen this thing too many times not to recognize it.

adanny01:


You really have negative energy.

Like she didn't tell anyone that she was fucking a boy next house she didnt tell that she was bleeding. Why do you find fault or criticize my family when you have no idea who we are?

Why would she say she was fùcking a guy in the next house when she couldn't even tell about something she should have ? Like her 1st period?

I'm criticising ur family based on what you've written here. From your write up, as so-called guardians it's obvious they kept this girl in ignorance and didn't give her sex education or care enough either. If that was the case she wouldn't keep her period all to herself and have sex as a minor without protection.

Who knows that girl could have thought she was dying when she saw that 1st blood.

1st periods are still intimidating even if a young girl is still educated before hand. But this girl staying with ur parents kept her cycle all to herself because she didn't understand it herself or thought no one cared.

She was kept in ignorance and this has backfired on 3 generations of your family( her having sex with your toddler in the room and you said)

1Sharon:


18 is a tender age?? What were you doing at 18?

At 18 she should be more concerned with achieving academic excellence not boyfriends.

lacapine:
. Noted. Only that she doesn't want to go back. I still dey watch.

It seems your story isn't true, because i can't understand this ''She doesn't want to go back'' that you keep replying to every good advise given.

Well, it is until she get's pregnant for your husband, and he sent you packing, that you would know she deserves to had been gone.

Angel246:
At 18 she should be more concerned with achieving academic excellence not boyfriends.

I get what you mean, but a husband has to become a boyfriend first.

Angel246:
At 18 she should be more concerned with achieving academic excellence not boyfriends.

Ayyyy! See oh! How old is Regina Daniels please? Wikipedia says she is 18. Please let her have Boyfriend in peace, her mates her buying Houses & Mercedes for their parents.

Freedem:


You had an house maid since 12 , you people should be ashamed of yourselves, literally enslaving your own people in the name of providing jobs.

Where in Europe will you see a 12 year old maid.

Wicked animals

This is Nigeria not Europe. There are a lot of differences between Nigeria and Europe

lacapine:
okay. Been doing that. This evening hubby came back late and sent her and Hubby's nephew staying with us to buy something. She branched to her friend's place and when Hubby's nephew was telling her that they should hurry back, she was reluctant and he just came home my himself. The effrontery!

When a maid is that bold it means they want to leave your place. They will not say it directly but they want you to be the one to pursue them.

1Sharon:


Why would she say she was fùcking a guy in the next house when she couldn't even tell about something she should have ? Like her 1st period?

I'm criticising ur family based on what you've written here. From your write up, as so-called guardians it's obvious they kept this girl in ignorance and didn't give her sex education or care enough either. If that was the case she wouldn't keep her period all to herself and have sex as a minor without protection.

Who knows that girl could have thought she was dying when she saw that 1st blood.

1st periods are still intimidating even if a young girl is still educated before hand. But this girl staying with ur parents kept her cycle all to herself because she didn't understand it herself or thought no one cared.

She was kept in ignorance and this has backfired on 3 generations of your family( her having sex with your toddler in the room and you said)

Am lost for words. You are free to think anyhow and say anything.

keep helping her pls, sending her back won't help situation, imagine if she's yours who will you send her to? pls help her

truthsayer009:


Ayyyy! See oh! How old is Regina Daniels please? Wikipedia says she is 18. Please let her have Boyfriend in peace, her mates her buying Houses & Mercedes for their parents.

Is keeping a boyfriend a prerequisite for achieving all that?

1Sharon:


I get what you mean, but a husband has to become a boyfriend first.

There is always time for everything.

Angel246:
There is always time for everything.

Are the ppl who can't afford education free to have boyfriends anyhow?

adanny01:


Am lost for words. You are free to think anyhow and say anything.

Yep, ur family was in the wrong sorry.

And many others here coming to complain how a 14 year-old maid got pregnant

Angel246:
Is keeping a boyfriend a prerequisite for achieving all that?

Yes, you need to practice the act early enough, get enough experience, so you can be ready for full time husband snatching when you eventually become 20 years old. Every trade requires time to perfect, don't you think so?

lekonso:

This is Nigeria not Europe. There are a lot of differences between Nigeria and Europe

So has a civilised intelligent educated Nigerian, a 12 year old is ripe for employment has a maid?

There's something wrong with you people, no wonder the place is full of educated uncivilised people.

You can't differentiate between right and wrong.


This kids are the same ones who grow up to believe in rituals, crimes, have no value for others because they were raised in an abusive environment, and to think her slave master thinks she can decide on what to do with her relationship life is beyond me.

One hundred years from now Nigeria will still be backwards because some people have refused to evolve.

1Sharon:


Yep, ur family was in the wrong sorry.

And many others here coming to complain how a 14 year-old maid got pregnant

Lepa, se'wo ati boyfriend e niyen ninu picture?

Freedem:


So has a civilised intelligent educated Nigerian, a 12 year old is ripe for employment has a maid?

There's something wrong with you people, no wonder the place is full of educated uncivilised people.

You can't differentiate between right and wrong.


This kids are the same ones who grow up to believe in rituals, crimes, have no value for others because they were raised in an abusive environment, and to think her slave master thinks she can decide on what she decides to do with her relationship life is beyond me.

One hundred years from now Nigeria will still be backwards because some people have refused to evolve.

Hahaha same thing happens in under-developed countries though, nothing new. Maids are all over India & other less developed countries.

Places like Canada, USA & other Western countries where Labour is not cheap, you cannot get an under aged maid to do your duties, you will pay a ton of money. Every thing is DIY over there.

One of my Aunties has employed a 9 year old as a maid before, In my head I was just looking. Na wa oh! This is what it is, I cannot even correct her because she way older than me.

After what period should dating couples stop speaking English ❓

Because I am tired biko...�

truthsayer009:


Send her back ke? Let OP marry the girl as second wife na. Shebi she is 18 years?

Guess you didn't realize that op is the wife and not the other way round.

WhiteLavender:

Guess you didn't realize that op is the wife and not the other way round.

Hahaha I didn't oh, Ah apologies

WhiteLavender:

Guess you didn't realize that op is the wife and not the other way round.

Btw, you look like an Igbo girl living in Ibadan

1Sharon:


Yep, ur family was in the wrong sorry.

And many others here coming to complain how a 14 year-old maid got pregnant

Let me tell you something about my parents. My father as the eldest trained all his 12 brothers, sisters, half brothers and sisters, 4 cousin sisters, 7 of my mum's nieces, 1 grand niece, 3 children (1boy and 2 girls), 1 adopted daughter and 3 non related girls. Out of the 3 non related, 2 went up to tertiary schools but this girl is the only girl who got pregnant out of wedlock and the only drop out. This is the only girl my teacher parents had to personally teach her ABCD and how to read.

I owe you no explanation but i remember one line in a movie i watched, "assumption is the mother of all fùck ups".

It makes no sense to say my parents were wrong without specifying what exactly they did wrong when you have no idea of the circumstances. You judge people you have not heard of or met. Na wa o.

lacapine:
. Even my biological child, I flog. She doesn't see herself as an outsider and we have such a good relationship. If we didn't, she wouldn't have stayed 6 years and refusing to go. Mind you, she travels home.once in a while and comes back on her own accord. She understands the reason why she is being flogged and this morning, I sat her down and was talking to her again even though I was tired of talking.

you sound just like my mother did back when we gave Her same advice about the same kind of situation.


It will not end well for you O!


That nephew you speak of, and your flogging, and other things will be used against you in the end!


MIND YOU: she may not get pregnant at all. But what she will do to you will hurt you for life!


Send her home now before she reaches WAEC. (it's better you promise to pay for her WAEC while with her parents, so no one will say you didn't plan to train her)


AFTER WAEC... Lol... Don't come here and say anything (because "I told you so" hurts like a beach!)


Unfortunately, I am telling you from my multiple personal experience.

Bye

MrPresident1:


Lepa, se'wo ati boyfriend e niyen ninu picture?

No sir, daddy lo je si mi

adanny01:


Let me tell you something about my parents. My father as the eldest trained all his 12 brothers, sisters, half brothers and sisters, 4 cousin sisters, 7 of my mum's nieces, 1 grand niece, 3 children (1boy and 2 girls), 1 adopted daughter and 3 non related girls. Out of the 3 non related, 2 went up to tertiary schools but this girl is the only girl who got pregnant out of wedlock and the only drop out. This is the only girl my teacher parents had to personally teach her ABCD and how to read.

I owe you no explanation but i remember one line in a movie i watched, "assumption is the mother of all fùck ups".

It makes no sense to say my parents were wrong without specifying what exactly they did wrong when you have no idea of the circumstances. You judge people you have not heard of or met. Na wa o.

I'm sorry, none of all that matters. Where all 3 girls given sex education? Or was the last one left out?

You said I didn't say what they did wrong? but didn't you see my post about periods?

That was a red flag.

1Sharon:


No sir, daddy lo je si mi

Big daddy, sweet daddy

1Sharon:


I'm sorry, none of all that matters. Where all 3 girls given sex education? Or was the last one left out?

You said I didn't say what they did wrong? but didn't you see my post about periods?

That was a red flag.

Sex education to a girl who was in primary six but couldn't memorise ABCD-Z? Are you from the moon?

truthsayer009:


Yes, you need to practice the act early enough, get enough experience, so you can be ready for full time husband snatching when you eventually become 20 years old. Every trade requires time to perfect, don't you think so?

Really? So you are into husband snatching now or you have retired?

NwaAmichi:
are you serious? Check your mail

i didn't get any

adanny01:


Sex education to a girl who was in primary six but couldn't memorise ABCD-Z? Are you from the moon?

Here we go! Thanks for coming clean.

You say sex education for someone in pry 6? You know the talk doesn't involve only sex right? They could have at least told her about periods to start with. I know nigerian parents are scared of the word sex. You said it urself, the girl hadnt even finished puberty and yet she got pregnant. Despite being an 'olodo'

Some kids in pry 6 start to go through puberty, their body is changing to an adults. It makes sense to have the sex talk with them before or during then for goodness sake

How did she get all the way to p6 anyway without knowing abc? I know ur exaggerating

I'd say to advise and/or teach her what interests her for now...

How to handle male interests without selling herself cheap. If u guys gist like adults, discuss boys and their antics wen they want sex...

Probably even gist her of ur own encounters wen u were still out n young... It might help her build d needed trust dat will let her confide in u.

Teach her;
to b proud of her body, to see herself worthy of any and all praises she gets for it. To know that not all who praise her want what is best for her.

To know how to solve the multitudes of interests and decide which to entertain and when to drop the entertained when he messed up.

To realise that as much as she may want to feed her body, she she also strive to feed her mind.

Perhaps give her her own room, get her small periodic allowance to spend however she seems fit.

There are a thousand and one lessons you yourself missed out on while dating, why not see how you can teach her?

At least teach her to have confidence in her body and to add more qualities to her personality beyond just looks, take it that you r saddled with raising a would be wife.

Threatening to send her back to d village/where, what's all that sef?

See her as ur own daughter and take that ownership/responsibility over her, perhaps u she read up some psychology of adolescent parenting and see how u can inculcate in her, the lessons she might need in order to become a good wife and start introducing them in her a little at a time.

If at 20 - 21 she displays sufficient maturity that most 25-29 yr olds of these days hardly have, she'll surely find a good man for herself.

In fact, d Calibre of people she will start rolling with ehn...na u go come dey thank God and she'll have u to thank for it all.

I'm not against a daughter having a boyfriend as soon as possible.. that's why I won't marry any woman who herself doesn't know how to handle her affairs well. Men will always want u.

it's ur job to know which ones want u for sex alone, which ones might b valuable in d long run.

If she's 18 then she's old enough to go on dates if she's interested.. wat u need to do is help her plan her time between her school /trade work, ur own errands, her own personal care, helping out with ur children (which must be sought/ pleaded and rewarded for and not commanded), and her own free time...

U may encourage her to face family/ school work fully Mondays you Fridays, then on Saturday, ask which of her friends she might like to visit, call d persons parents if u know, dash her transport, tell her to call u wen she's there.etc. maybe even drive her down.

Nxt Saturday/month, u might even encourage her to take a boy she likes and a girl friend of hers out.

U give her change to get small chops/sweets with n Transport herself back home.

U don't want her to take such risks yet, ask her to invite a friend home, let d friend join u in ur wrk. Etc. Be the accomplice and guide and desist from acts that will make start seeing you as an enemy.

If that ever happens, you'll lose her trust and before u know it.. she's out, doin things you don't approve of and perhaps even out of your house.

Na her u suppose take learn work o . Cos ur own children will not do any different when they come of age.

So use her to learn how to manage teenage/adolescent exuberance.

That yr threat about returning her to do village when. It will soon become stale and you'd surprised when one day she'd answer you to go ahead and return her.