1Sharon:


Here we go! Thanks for coming clean.

You say sex education for someone in pry 6? You know the talk doesn't involve only sex right? They could have at least told her about periods to start with. I know nigerian parents are scared of the word sex. You said it urself, the girl hadnt even finished puberty and yet she got pregnant. Despite being an 'olodo'

Some kids in pry 6 start to go through puberty, their body is changing to an adults. It makes sense to have the sex talk with them before or during then for goodness sake

How did she get all the way to p6 anyway without knowing abc? I know ur exaggerating

Are you for real? Are you a Nigerian? You sure dont sound like one.

truthsayer009:


Btw, you look like an Igbo girl living in Ibadan

Sorry, I'm urhobo.
You look like all these typical Yoruba who think that as long as you're not Hausa or Yoruba then you're Omo Igbo.

Angel246:
Really? So you are into husband snatching now or you have retired?

Yes oh, I have retired now but the house girl can take over my mantle.

WhiteLavender:

Sorry, I'm urhobo.
You look like all these typical Yoruba who think that as long as you're not Hausa or Yoruba then you're Omo Igbo.

You're Igbo jooor

truthsayer009:

You're Igbo jooor

Ignorant lots.

linasparkle:
i didn't get any

you sure it's the same email you used to register here that you are using? cos I can actually see your mails and I'm replying but if it's an alternate email you are using then drop it let me send a message

WhiteLavender:

Ignorant lots.

Thank you Chidinma!

adanny01:


Are you for real? Are you a Nigerian? You sure dont sound like one.

Yes I'm Nigerian. I'm glad that is the only part of my post you picked at.

tempest01:
My advise is to send her back. If she gets infected or gets pregnant her people will blame you for it .

When I was younger we had this hosue girl that grew with us. Very religious, spiritual and all, my parents sent her to secondary school and subsequently catering school.

She started seeing guys in the area, and would always tell us not to tell our mum. She then got ill and demaciated, on running tests, it was seen that she was HIV positive. Had to send her back home and told her to try be coming to get her drugs unfailingly.


When she got back to the village she stopped taking the drugs and started taking local concoction. She died. Her parents blame us for killing her, and there have been talk on how they tried commanding her ghost to come attack us.


That's a true life story, I would advise you send her away.

Many things can go wrong.

Pregnancy, complications from abortion, HIV, etc. You'll be blamed for the bad, no matter the good.

Lacapine

Better still if you really like her and want to keep her, inform her parents, and let them know your intention of sending her back. List the possible outcomes if she continues and is unlucky. If they still say you keep her, tell them you are not liable if something in that nature occurs, but you'll try your best to be strict with her, but they should talk to her.

This is really scary. Luckily I have always informed her parents(mum) as her dad no send cos he is remarried and has a new family. I am sending her home. I will. And truthfully I really love her. She knows I do.

Anijay1212:

God please bless the op for me.She is a good woman.

Amen. Thanks Anijay

Donjcco:


Rubbish reconsideration... Why would you send her back because she's keeping boy friends?.. Is she not human being that blood flows through her vains too... Better you just guild her and her boyfriend so she won't go astray. Teach her to keep just one boyfriend, you can't totally keep her away from boys, even your children self may do worse.

. At 17? and in ss1? Even her parents would kill me if they hear. No need. She can go and keep them in her parents house. I already told her that when she is 21, I can even allow her bring him home and we can talk about him/them. But at 17? I doubt its a good thing to do.

Biggers82:
Pregnancy is on the way coming you better send her back before she gets pregnant in your house and her mother will blame you for not taking good care of her daughter
If she refused to hear advice send her home because their type learns better after her first pregnancy.

.Noted. Thanks.

aladinrin:
What are her parents view in all these. Are they also in the picture as nairalanders. I know of a similar case who only saw the reason after getting pregnant. You have tried your best keep trying on her.

Her mum knows and always caution her and tells me that its because I haven't beaten her and put pepper in her headquarters and all that nonsense. Her dad is remarried and had a new family and doesn't care if they exist or not. As it is now, I just learnt her mum is seriously sick, I pray she gets better. Her mother doesn't approve of it all all as her elder sister got preggy at 17 and had a baby at 18 though lived with the guy for a while and ran away so the mother doesn't approve of it at all. As it now, I just learnt the mother is seriously sick as I couldn't even speak with her on phone but even if its her dad, she would manage with. Its really hard for me to send her back cos she has no where to go really but she has pushed her luck too far. Doubt I can continue. Make shame no be my own.

PotatoSalad:
She'll get pregnant very soon and the parents will blame you for that. And they'll tell people bad things about you. Then you and the parents will become enemies.
I've seen it happen many times

. Its well.

stubbornman:


She don chop your slap before as in full Ajesha plate of slap her body go calm down !!!

. This one don pass slap matter.

[quote author=wisdomkid post=77300194]I personally would advise you do these two things.

1. Tell her that if she gets pregnant, she is returning home with immediate effect. Even if it's 1:00AM in the morning, you're taking her to the park.
2. Call her parents or anyone in charge of her in the village and inform them of her altitude.


Should incase something like this happens, they'll know you did your part.
I sincerely wish her wisdom to do the right thing.

But environment matters alot and the company she keeps.
Is she going to government school?
Is she keeping friends with irresponsible girls or street girls with questionable characters? I have told her that severally. 2. Her parent(mum) is in the know.. 3. Yes she is going to govt sch. 4. She used to keep but not anymore. She has one very good girl I really like, the girl comes to my house freely as she is highly responsible and hubby and I approve of her. The ones I don't approve of, I tell her. Funny enough, she tells me of all the nonsense some girls do and we talk about the consequences of their action. We are that open.

Saviola247:
@Lacapine, make I advice you, if you like you take, if you no like you leave am, You see, now she don know man, and she is even doing it without fear, what will end it is, mark my words, when her curves starts to show wella, and she start to use better soap and cream bath, na your hubby go be her next target. Listen, eh, am talking from experience. I know it's hard for you to send her away after her sec sch just like you said, but that will be your best decision. Even if your husband na pastor eh, penis wey u see so no go school oohhhh. So the earlier you send her packing after sec sch. The better for you. Then you can go to look another 12yrs pikin

. I hear. Thank you.

maklelemakukula:
Ujujoan how would you want your Nobe Prize delivered ?

Thanks . I understand.

babyfaceafrica:
send her back home..she don dey get feather!!!

. GBAM

Timisamd:


Sha ma nomololomo (no beat person pikin child)
If e reach ground them do go hear story oo ..
Ti apa é o ba tile ka .. Fun awon parent e pada .
And I think it just a transition stage of nowadays kids .
Tell her say if see no go Green hear you go send am go in papa house ...
Sha no beat pikin even your own sef ... Dey do small small .

. No wahala. I hear.

Intrepid01:


Chaii this reminds of the girl, a family though, that stayed with us in those days; 93-94....Mehn that babe like boys, it's a different thing when boys are chasing a girl but serious issue when a young girl like boys... After my mum had tried all her best, she told My Dad one evening that they'll have to return her. My Dad wasn't too supportive but my mum told him to write it down that the girl would get pregnant. Eventually they both agreed to send her back, omo it wasn't up to 2 yrs after that we were told she got pregnant. My mum kept laughing saying she knew it. it was impossible to be behaving like she was and not fall pregnant.

. What a pity. Thanks for this true life story.

angelamina:
You can as well threaten her by sending her back to her parents maybe during this break from school..if she pleads to come back, then u can now lay down the rules for her return to her, if she has sense and really wants to keep staying with you, she should sit up ones she's back..

. Intact this last long holidays, she travelled after Junior waec and didn't come back until September. I told her if she wants to come back, she woud have to ask her mum for tfare or find it anyhow to show that I didn't want her back ie she came on her own accord and that she would abide by the rules. She came back on her own and wrote me a lengthy letter of promises. Then here we are again.

Mariangeles:
At this stage, the best thing to do is to send her back to her people .

The main reason she doesn't listen to or respect you is because she's knows you're not her mother, hence, she feels you can't tell her what to do .

Don't even bother because she'll never listen...she's at the rebellious phase

It always comes to this...

Noted!

nextstep:
Treat her as you would your own daughter. She's lived with you since 12 and she's becoming a woman in your house.
Just advise her about possible outcomes:

- she will have heartbreak... that sweet talking boy will one day not want to see you
- she could become pregnant
- most men/boys will abandon her if she was to become pregnant, and life will be tough with a mouth to feed
- and if she becomes pregnant, she's off to her parents' house

She's doing the same things most 17-18 year olds do as kongi starts itching. The more you forbid, the more she hides.

I don advise tire. Interestingly she commented on the said Facebook pixs with my phone cos she spoilt her andriod phone. If she doesn't feel like my child, she can't use my phone freely like that. So mesef don try.

opsynea2j:
She feels all grown as she's exposed to lot of things already . she will get hardened to you beatings .. quit hitting her but counsel her , know her friends and possibly her so called bfs .. keep getting close to her and friends. With this , she drops her guard .. she's not too young for sex education too .Finally , watch her closely so she won't be a bad influence to the rest of the family .

Okay. I know a few of her friends. They don't come home if I sense they are bad friends, the good ones, visit

Blacksavage:
Madam kindly return her has collected, before things fall apart..
Imagine 17 for that matter..

I will. Thanks

Saviola247:
@Lacapine, make I advice you, if you like you take, if you no like you leave am, You see, now she don know man, and she is even doing it without fear, what will end it is, mark my words, when her curves starts to show wella, and she start to use better soap and cream bath, na your hubby go be her next target. Listen, eh, am talking from experience. I know it's hard for you to send her away after her sec sch just like you said, but that will be your best decision. Even if your husband na pastor eh, penis wey u see so no go school oohhhh. So the earlier you send her packing after sec sch. The better for you. Then you can go to look another 12yrs pikin

l really laughed hard at joystick no go school. E hard me wella to send her away but I no get choice at all. She would have to go.

kkins25:


I dont know why in this 21st century you stilthink flogging is the solution to everything..

Firstly,is it only me or has the entire nairaland overlooked the magnitude of the op statement
.
Since when did it become a crime to have a boyfriend - a male friend? Huh?
Let me educate you small.

People think its all about "doing" and "not doing". Do you know if her hormonal levels are off the roof? She may have a health condition. The mind makes choices, so also does the body. Alot of people usually do what the body says. Thats why your bible says the spirit is willing but the flesh(body) is weak.

The girl has come of age were she wants to mingle, all you have to do is guide her to mix with decent boy friends. Tell her to invite him home. Know the boy that she is having a crush on.

Use, auto-suggestion to program her mind.
Tell her evertime not to mingle with bad friends.. Keep repeating to her..


When the girl is at home, what does she do for fun?? Home may be boring u know. Watch the kind of girlfriends she keeps, because its this group that are more dangerous to her.

Also take note that the girl mwy be struggling with the behaviour. She may want to change but doesn't hwve enough will power.

If she is family nd like a daughter to you, then ask her if she loves one guy. Find out who the boy is, ensure he is a decent guy that would not go beyond boundaries (u know what i mean).

There is nothing wrong for a girl to have bf.. 17? Are you kidding, some girls her age have like 5kids.


Take note madam, the heart wants what it wants. Make we see that facebook pic she uploaded, lets confirm wethe it was something to even bother about.
Maybe you over reacted or maybe you're just treating her like that because she isn't really your daughter.

I know that 99.999, the house girl is innocent. Its the wards that are the devils.. We

I didn't day flogging is the solution. I said I flogged her. You think if I wanted to do something worse, I would be here asking questions? I don't have a problem with keeping male friends. She is in drama unit in church and there are guys there, they go for youth camp and there are guys there, they go for picnics and there are guys there. I have always said to her that there is nothing wrong with being friends with boys but she should know where to draw the line. Dating is what I am against.

A 17 year old child having 5kids, does that sound like an achievement to you? Do you wish that for your own child? I can't post the pixs here for privacy reason.

Your last paragraph just shows you didn't understand the post at all. May God forgive you.

She is going already. I have such a relationship with her that I expect her to tell me anything and she has told me soooooo much already. Didn't think she would secretly keep one. I hear her receive male calls and I don't bother. I have had salary northern maids before and they all had boyfriends that I knew of and nothing changed. One even visits hers on Sunday, sleeps there and comes back on Monday morning. Never disrespected us for once. I understood they are northerners and early marriage is their lot. Their parents/guardians approved of their boyfriends, so what's my own? This one, her parents disapproves, we disapprove and you are not standing on your feet yet. You should stay humble.

If BF is what she wants, let her go and do it in her parents house...so whatever happens, they won't come and blame the innocent couple.


Its very difficult to monitor these maids o....we had one, the only time she goes out is when she is sent to the market....and she is given time to return(highest 1hr or less, depending on what she is buying) but despite this tight leash, aunty still found a way to make bf and be going to give him 3points. How did I find out??...one day she brought her phone for me to help her check something on her messages, that's where I saw, "baby I really love you"...."baby, you were so sweet"....I said, "chineke, only market that this girl goes to, market that she is timed, she still found a way to get a BF and also going to give him things and things"...and most of these house helps, if u want to know if they have started doing like that with one uncle inside or outside, their attitude will change....they become bolder, disrespectful and start acting like they now have other options if you don't need them again or you worry them too much.

They should better send that girl away....it might surprise you, she is dating an elderly guy in his late 20s or early 30s or even older....cos these days they are the ones that like small girls....plus the small small change he will be giving her.[/quote]

andyanders:


Had one like that and almost same character. Came when she was 6 and turned something else between 14 and 16. Sent her back same period. Anytime she been sent to go get something from within the neighborhood, she will not come back on time as such we had to ask her to go with one of my boys 'cus I have only male children, she now started warning them not to monitor or tell her what to do. The day my boys saw her with one with tattoos, they came home and informed us what they observed, we called her to advise her to face her studies, she never took the advise.

We allowed her to finish that term, told her that her mother was sick and that she needed to go home and see her, she was happy. We never allowed her to go with some of her things. We got one of my wife's relation who took her home to make sure she was handed over to her parents safely. The next week, we packaged her remaining things and sent them over to her.. Called her mother to keep her at the village. They later called and started telling us what she was doing with boys within the village and that we took good step to have brought her home. Within same period, she took in and that was the end of her. Those that she was in same class with, are all doing their second yr in the university now and she has been crying and pleading to come back and noway for her anymore.

Take her home and deliver her to her parents, if not, either you come here to tell us the story that touches the heart.

I will. Thanks

Starz825:



Pls I want to beg u, don't change your mind from sending her to the university..by so doing God has liberated her thru you and ur family..and God will continue to help you ....
Now to the girls attitude....it's called youthful exuberance..it happened to most pple at that age, but such girl needs guidance, prayer and counseling
Do the following
1. Introduce the bible to her
2. Start attending church program
3. Forcefully stop her from seeing bad friends
4. Seize her fone
5. Educate her abt someone u know who got pregnant abt that age and was abandoned and was unable to finish her sch..
6. Tell her aw she look stupid having a baby without a father
7. Threaten to send her back to her parent if she continues..
God bless you

we pray in my home. She has a bible. We attend church programs. She is in drama unit in church. I don't know about force but I have tried to discourage enough from keeping bad friends. She doesn't have an android phone anymore, she also misplaced her small phone so for now she is phone less. I have educated her. Her elder sister is a good example. Took in at 17 and dropped out of school. I use that as an example for her everyday. I have over threaten sef. Thanks for you input. I appreciate.

RealityShot:
you sound just like my mother did back when we gave Her same advice about the same kind of situation.


It will not end well for you O!


That nephew you speak of, and your flogging, and other things will be used against you in the end!


MIND YOU: she may not get pregnant at all. But what she will do to you will hurt you for life!


Send her home now before she reaches WAEC. (it's better you promise to pay for her WAEC while with her parents, so no one will say you didn't plan to train her)


AFTER WAEC... Lol... Don't come here and say anything (because "I told you so" hurts like a beach!)


Unfortunately, I am telling you from my multiple personal experience.

Bye

She will go. That's for sure. Thanks.