I have vowed that I will never settle for less, I will always keep dusting myself from the ground and move on if the relationship doesn’t work and this trait have been working perfectly well for me, as a results I have been single as long as I can remember, my relationships never lasted, a month is too long before I found out that my so called partner has a GF, I don’t really love him, he is not my type and so forth and without wasting time I will break up with him and find someone else, coz of these reasons I decided never to jump into bed with someone without knowing what he is about, as a results I abstained for 8 years from sex, and that worked well for me too except that guys would leave coz they cant wait no more, this still was fine for me, if he cant wait for it then he is not worth I would say, I didn’t really have time for boys who doesn’t know what they wanted, who are not ambitious and have no purpose in life, I couldn’t give a damn

Days passed, months passed, weeks passed and years passed and it was me dating and breaking up, I always loved with my eyes wide open and I have a great intuitive that will tell me within a day what your about n I always listened to it this will lead me into looking for holes and finding reasons to end the relationships and 99.9% of time I was right

I have hated and broke ppl’s heart, coz I would lead them on and leave them hanging, I would fall in love with people who don’t give a shit about me and don’t give a chance the once who really cared about me, I would ask God why the hell wouldn’t he make me love some1 who loves me back but he would never answer, I would tell him in several occasions that if that guy over is my soul mate then he can keep him for himself coz I don’t want him and so forth, it was fun by then I didn’t care

Ok now here is what is bothering me, I am becoming old and I am still single, I don’t have a kid and boy wud I kill to give birth to my own flesh and blood, I am all panicking and becoming lonely by day, I am scared I don’t wana be old alone, I feel like I am a walking billboard for a middle life crisis, I have no problem with my self esteem, I know there are lots of ppl who would kill to have me but the problem is I don’t want them, I don’t even wana cross where they walked

Now my question is am I ever gona find love and why am I always falling for the wrong people, I am so sick of being alone, I have been told repeatedly that my requirements are just of high standard and I will never find that kind of person but the problem I find it so hard to stay if the person doesn’t meet those requirements as a matter of fact I cant stay, I will always find a reason why I cant be with that person, I have dated a couple of assholes, I have tried to convince myself and say I am only compatible with myself and no body else, do u think there is some1 out there for and he is not HIV+, do u think I still have a chance in love, Gosh I have so much love I wana share with that special person, is he still okay, does he have legs, does he have a future, does he have a potential, is he modernised or too traditional, etc

.

You seem be a right match for my cousin.Only that you have to come down cos those standards you've set for yourself can't all be met cos there's no one perfect person in this world. You ought to draw a list of the qualities you would want your man to possess. If he has up to 60, why not give him a chance. By the way, how old are you?

You sound Like your stakes are REALLY TOO HIGH. There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right man,cuz honestly there are alot of losers around, but what happens when you push all the good men away bcuz your standards are too high? if age is not on your side, u need to have a re-think of what you are doing wrong. Most women would not date a man unless he has a fab ride, millions in his bank account, and a mansion. Think twice.

If however you lower your standards and your still meeting all the wrong men, then take your prayers to God. He will never give you more than you can chew. He is always watching, so why not ask him for assistance, he will never abandon and neglect you. Take it easy.

Inked_Nerd:

Hmmm, I'm curious to know is it companionship that you want or is it that you want a child? Or is it that you want that to live up the supposed dream life of having a husband and kids?

I dont think I wana get married, I am an untamed shrew, and weddings only make it thru the honeymoon and honeymoons dont last forever so I dont think I wana repeat the same mistakes that other women commit, but maybe if I could find a person deserving enough to be my husband I will then consider, what I need right now is a child and a father to my child

s.ohiemi:

Tracy121 take it easy,relax abeg.u have juhz gotten out of a sour relationship nd i know u must b feelin bad.all your questions r due to your frustration nd i will advise to slow down b4 u break down.don't worry your soulmate is out there 4 u nd u don't have to b anxious 4 anytin.if u r religous i'll advise u to pray nd neva give up.also u can attend more social functions so dat u can meet other pips,about d sxx,well u HAVE to do sumfin about it cos 8 yrs is not beans nd dodo.juhz keep your head nd pray nd,i promise u Mr.right will soon be knockin on your door

Definately not the kind of response I was looking for but now that u mention it, Inked_Nerd has made this more clear for me and I could never be better, I was just trying to recall my relationships u know and trying to figure what could I have been doing wrong but I couldnt justfy my singleness and I thought maybe I'd find a worth while advice here

@Tracey121

I perfectly understand where you are coming from, don't settle for second best BUT be carefull not to push the best away.

I made that mistake and realise it very late, ticking the boxs is good but sometimes you end up being me me me kind of person 4getting that you need to consider the other person as well.

That mistake left me confused now, can't seems to make up my mind about any relationship cos i can't trust my judgement any more.

Is it a crime to expect too much from a guy? I think I understand what you are going through but ,

..

Cute500:

You sound Like your stakes are REALLY TOO HIGH. There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right man,cuz honestly there are alot of losers around, but what happens when you push all the good men away bcuz your standards are too high? if age is not on your side, u need to have a re-think of what you are doing wrong. Most women would not date a man unless he has a fab ride, millions in his bank account, and a mansion. Think twice.

If however you lower your standards and your still meeting all the wrong men, then take your prayers to God. He will never give you more than you can chew. He is always watching, so why not ask him for assistance, he will never abandon and neglect you. Take it easy.

I have had many convesations to heaven regarding my soul mate but I think I always get a huge NO or a giant WAIT for an answer and now Im trying to take things into my hands thats why Im here, coz obviously the big Guy is too busy trying to fix or break the world, whatever he does but it must be very important,

I have lowered my requirements, but I have never seem to act according to the lowered standard, there is always something I cant take with the guy Im involved with and I break it off, total hopeless, but if u say so Im gona try and talk to the big Guy again, thing is I cant wait any longer, I will not be able to concieve at the end of all this, Im not firtile at all to wait until Im 50 to have a child really now

Inked_Nerd:


I see where you are coming from with this. I like the whole feeling of weddings and blissfulness as well. Where is it that you meet the men that you date? And if you don't mind me asking, what country do you currently live in?

Im in South Africa,

chaircover:

@poster. There is no such thing as a perfect man, woman or perfect relationship.

To reach a balance, you will have to drop a lot of things, just as he will have to drop a lot of expectations. Sometimes we are blinded by the non important things rather than looking at the important things.

Learning to accept people for what they are and being tolerant is a virtue in its own right and will no doubt help you when you do settle down.

Divide your requirements into 2; character and achievement. Focus on finding a guy who has higher marks in the character section & you will find that you are on the right path and other things will fall into place.

I completely agree with you, U have to sacrifice, compromise and forget about most of who u are but I cant, Ive tried dating ppl who were falling short of my requirements/standard but the more I spend tym with them, the more I find faults with them and the more i dont want them and at the end I hurt them, i hurt their feelings bcoz I will start by ingnoring their calls, stood them up, and then finally tell them I cant go on with the relationship, thats when I decided that if my heart does not tick the first time I saw the ideal partner then there is nothing that will change that, I am that kind of person, sometimes I sit and think maybe I was never meant to be with anybody, but I really cant imagine my life alone, I just cant

..

eleazon:

You seem be a right match for my cousin.Only that you have to come down cos those standards you've set for yourself can't all be met cos there's no one perfect person in this world. You ought to draw a list of the qualities you would want your man to possess. If he has up to 60, why not give him a chance. By the way, how old are you?

, Woman's age should remain a secret but what the hell, Im 25, and hey I understand what u say but I didnt mention what my requirements are, I just dont date thin and flabby guys

is your couson tall just enough that I will walk with him even in my very highest heel but too tall, is he big enough that I will be lost in his hug but not too big, does he have a bright future, is he funny, ambitious, fair complexion, can I proudly introduce him as my BF(Cute) to whoever I meet, is loving and caring, nurturing and sensitive, strong and firm, is he attached to his feminine side, can he say NO without offending me, can he be assertive with me without hurting my feelings, can he be honest with me without breaking my heart, can he rise against all odds, can he stand still, be irremovable even after the tempest, trials and turmoils of this world had battered him and uproot his soul, can he still stand tall even when his meet cant hang in his bones, can he?, Does he go to the gym, does he have a six pack, big arms, big chest, can he understand that Im independent and will not consult him every time I wana take a decision whether big or small, can he take the fact I will smile and flirt with every guy but will never cheat on him, can he apologise to me even if I was wrong and accept my apology later when I realize that I was in the wrong, can he understand that I have life of my own and have dreams that will sometyms seem more important than the r/s although that might not be true, can he give without remembering and take without forgetting just like me, is he kind and generous just like me, I think I have mentioned everything, if there is anything missing I will consult u

So if your couson has those above mentioned attributes please hook me with him,   and that is not too much to ask

MOBO444:

@ Poster my heart reach out to you, too bad i am not single i would have considered taking you out of your present predicatement, but i know how you feel and know God will bless you, have you gone through my previous article on black women and see the several option i have for a single blck lady, please do so you can know the best option to choose and adjust to, wishing you the best of luck because i know you will need a lot of luck here.

Thats very sweet of you, but now the question is where is the article, it could help me, and hey I always hope everyday that my ideal guy would come and swept me off my feet and its been 17 years now and Im still hoping its not even funny

MOBO444:

@ Poster my heart reach out to you, too bad i am not single i would have considered taking you out of your present predicatement, but i know how you feel and know God will bless you, have you gone through my previous article on black women and see the several option i have for a single blck lady, please do so you can know the best option to choose and adjust to, wishing you the best of luck because i know you will need a lot of luck here.

Thats very sweet of you, but now the question is where is the article, it could help me, and hey I always hope everyday that my ideal guy would come and swept me off my feet and its been 17 years now and Im still hoping its not even funny

I dont belong here,let me check another thread

~~Lol

Rymzo:

I dont belong here,let me check another thread

Ur such a dumbass, next tym keep your stupid opinions to urself, U just prove what kind of shit we have to keep up with for being intelligent, its idiots and mediocres like you who makes smart ppl's life difficult

Tracey121:

, Woman's age should remain a secret but what the hell, Im 25, and hey I understand what u say but I didnt mention what my requirements are, I just dont date thin and flabby guys

is your couson tall just enough that I will walk with him even in my very highest heel but too tall, is he big enough that I will be lost in his hug but not too big, does he have a bright future, is he funny, ambitious, fair complexion, can I proudly introduce him as my BF(Cute) to whoever I meet, is loving and caring, nurturing and sensitive, strong and firm, is he attached to his feminine side, can he say NO without offending me, can he be assertive with me without hurting my feelings, can he be honest with me without breaking my heart, can he rise against all odds, can he stand still, be irremovable even after the tempest, trials and turmoils of this world had battered him and uproot his soul, can he still stand tall even when his meet cant hang in his bones, can he?, Does he go to the gym, does he have a six pack, big arms, big chest, can he understand that Im independent and will not consult him every time I wana take a decision whether big or small, can he take the fact I will smile and flirt with every guy but will never cheat on him, can he apologise to me even if I was wrong and accept my apology later when I realize that I was in the wrong, can he understand that I have life of my own and have dreams that will sometyms seem more important than the r/s although that might not be true, can he give without remembering and take without forgetting just like me, is he kind and generous just like me, I think I have mentioned everything, if there is anything missing I will consult u

So if your couson has those above mentioned attributes please hook me with him,   and that is not too much to ask    

Now with the bolded part, i can CLEARLY see where the problem lies. what if your destined husband is not meant to be too tall or even that tall? what if he is not light skinned, what if he does not have a big chest but an average one?? then that means that you have been chasing away all the other ones that dont fit your exact match. My candid advice to you is that DONT' GO AROUND CHASING WATERFALLS, ! I hope you honestly know what this expression means. (You should stick with the rivers and the oceans and stay away from going near the waterfall cuz that waterfall that ur hoping on may not be good for you)
You need a better mind set, stop chasing away all the good guys.

I don't care what pple they say,,,,,, And i don't make it as a point of duty to reply all Thread,,,,,,,,because being single is really frustrating me in a way. I'm 32, willing to marry now, but funny enuf no girl, ask y, and i 'll explain to u.

i mean i don't care what pple say,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, too frustrating to be single, especially when u 're already ripe and as a matter of fact has all it take to settle down!!!!!

what I need right now is a child and a father to my child

you mean you just want to be a baby mama.


you want a father to your child but not a husband?

i think black women in general should be past this level by now.

mean has all it takes to settle down,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Just need a cool girl dat 'll love and do for love. lol

meant has all it talks to live in a civilized world of men and women of substance!!! lol

Tracey121:

your such a dumbass, next tym keep your silly opinions to urself, U just prove what kind of poo we have to keep up with for being intelligent, its idiots and mediocres like you who makes smart ppl's life difficult

Pls wat hv i done or said 2u wrongly?

Tracey121, if your just 25 what's with the rush to have someone sweep you off your feet? Your still young .

@Nerd
She is desperate and if she is nt careful,she might end up in a wrong hand. So tel her cuz she has already used abusive words on me

She is desperate and if she is nt careful,she wil might end up in a wrong hand. So tel her cuz she has already used abusive words on me[quote][/quote]

There u got it all wrong,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, here is her soul mate

@moralist
Gudluck. Bt pls dnt take cuz of dt 2 say dt i ws wrong,i neva mentioned u.
Tripple Gudluck!