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I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by boxer022(m): 11:54am On May 22, 2019
I sympathise with you on your current problem, but there is something I want you to understand something . If your husband really love you, he will forgive you. My reason for saying this is that before he married you, he knew you and decided to marry you and also it is for better for worse. The fact that you opened up to him despite not catching you in the act showed that you really love him and you are sorry for the act. Biblically, it is written that whoever divorces his wife is to remain single and also the wife is to remain single. If he is doubting the fatherhood of those children, he can confirm it by going for a DNA test. If it proves that the children really are from his sperm, he should forgive you. You on your own have to promise him not to make such a drastic mistake again. Invite family members to plead on your behalf and let him see sense in knowing that it us out of the love you have for him that you opened up to him. Please don't loose hope, God is your strength.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by ICONgold(m): 11:55am On May 22, 2019
He made the best choice. When you offend God, seek for God's forgiveness, when you offend men, seek for men forgives. Her husband will forgive her, he is just boiling which is understandable. With this, the probability of repeated cheating is slim. If she told God, she will still cheat again because God will understand and won't do anything immediately.

babadee1:


Telling your husband was a foolish mistake. Tell God your faults and let Him assuage your guilty conscience. Your husband can do nothing for you now. You've blown it with him.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by sodiamond: 11:56am On May 22, 2019
Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.
.
I warned you!! Those that adviced you to confess can not come and help you now that the Wahala has started. You have to cook up another lie for your husband to accept you back. How many men confess to their wives when they have cheated on them. No wonder men call us fish brain.

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Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by SURElee(f): 11:58am On May 22, 2019
You don see am na. I have never understood why a married woman will open her body up for another man to have sex with her. The stolen enjoyment of 5mins is costing you your home marriage and ultimate peace of mind now. So was it in anyway worth it at all seeing that your sex partner sef don deny you?

As a Christian, infidelity is the one clause for divorce. So I don't know what to say again.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Nobody: 11:59am On May 22, 2019
rafhell:
Something tells me the OP is a big liar.
Let us read between the lines. You put out your post 11 days ago asking for advice. In eleven days, all these drama had played out.
You even got a 2 bedroom accommodation close to your work place and you already moved in with the kids.
Madam or whoever you are, not everybody on nairaland is daft.

Nice storyline BTW

Confessions like these are 99% not true stories.
They most times toy with readers opinions.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by sacramento1212: 11:59am On May 22, 2019
boxer022:
I sympathise with you on your current problem, but there is something I want you to understand something . If your husband really love you, he will forgive you. My reason for saying this is that before he married you, he knew you and decided to marry you and also it is for better for worse. The fact that you opened up to him despite not catching you in the act showed that you really love him and you are sorry for the act. Biblically, it is written that whoever divorces his wife is to remain single and also the wife is to remain single. If he is doubting the fatherhood of those children, he can confirm it by going for a DNA test. If it proves that the children really are from his sperm, he should forgive you. You on your own have to promise him not to make such a drastic mistake again. Invite family members to plead on your behalf and let him see sense in knowing that it us out of the love you have for him that you opened up to him. Please don't loose hope, God is your strength.

Except not on the grounds of Adultery, then you are correct. But the Husband can remarry in this case because Adultery is involved here.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Charly68: 12:01pm On May 22, 2019
Love this story line & my advise is this; Men gets hurt with cheating wives,your confession is good for your own inner healing ,your husband will return to you with love after he receives his own healing for hearing the better truth. Keep texting and pleading with him & the problem will soon be over . Time truly heals
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by gbagyiza: 12:02pm On May 22, 2019
Amanee:
Not everything works out as planned, you should have also prepared for this outcome when you decided to confess... I think you should be more concerned with your peace of mind now that you've fessed up than any fake bliss you were enjoying. You did the right thing by confessing and if your marriage has to end for it, then so be it. Take this as a crucial lesson and move on

A good advice.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by ped007(m): 12:02pm On May 22, 2019
U feel like being with that guy again...
Enjoy yourself now... Since what you had was never good enough for you.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Yusfunoble(m): 12:02pm On May 22, 2019
Chubhie:
Your husband lack compassion. That's too extreme from him. Regardless, you should stay strong. Its not the end of the world if your husband seeks divorce and wants nothing to do with the kids. You could go far away and start a new life with your kids.

Hopefully, you've learnt your lessons albeit in a very painful manner. Be open to love again. A man that matches your energy could come along and see you as the centre of his universe.

Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Beckham14: 12:02pm On May 22, 2019
ekems2017:
You are so mean. Mr perfect.





Mean? For saying things as it is?
Thank you, I love it.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Beckham14: 12:03pm On May 22, 2019
Bebe0147:

Best advice ever!!! Thank you very much
You welcome sir.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Beckham14: 12:04pm On May 22, 2019
benson1411:

God bless u
And you too sir.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Nobody: 12:04pm On May 22, 2019
Payback 's a bitcch bitchh.

Repentance is not complete without restitution. pack your load and go.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by ped007(m): 12:04pm On May 22, 2019
boxer022:
I sympathise with you on your current problem, but there is something I want you to understand something . If your husband really love you, he will forgive you. My reason for saying this is that before he married you, he knew you and decided to marry you and also it is for better for worse. The fact that you opened up to him despite not catching you in the act showed that you really love him and you are sorry for the act. Biblically, it is written that whoever divorces his wife is to remain single and also the wife is to remain single. If he is doubting the fatherhood of those children, he can confirm it by going for a DNA test. If it proves that the children really are from his sperm, he should forgive you. You on your own have to promise him not to make such a drastic mistake again. Invite family members to plead on your behalf and let him see sense in knowing that it us out of the love you have for him that you opened up to him. Please don't loose hope, God is your strength.
I read her first story, and trust me dear...
She'll do it again 10times over. Just that she won't apologise again.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Ifeanyie12(m): 12:04pm On May 22, 2019
@OP, I read your first post when it got to FP initially and was full of pity for you. pity not because you were confused and didn't know what to do, pity cos you told the whole world you were never attracted to your husband sexually. how else should you disrespect someone who deemed you perfect in the midst of over a hundred other women he probably should have married instead of you? you think your husband wouldn't have found out if you hid it from him (cos people like you would always go back, afterall you admitted to stalking the other guy on social media)?? like I said earlier, live to make things right even if it takes forever to do that
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by bluecircle470: 12:07pm On May 22, 2019
Beckham14:
When you were spreading your legs like blue band you never thought of the love you had for that innocent man who put a roof over your head, you never thought of the "marriage" you wish to protect, Now you have lost the trust your parents had for you, and might as well lose the love of your kids when your "ex" husband tells them how promiscuous their mother is and how adventurous she can be with the dick in an hotel room.
Some mistakes are avoidable and you don't have any excuse to give for this silly mistake you brought upon yourself.
May God bless that your "ex" husband for handling that heart shattering news with such calmness, not all men can wait till you finish your sexcapdes without registering some thunderous blows on your face.
The m0ron who fuucked you like a cheap slut has dump you like a piece of trash.
Before you think of killing yourself by yourself, take those innocent children to your parents. I won't stop you from doing what you feel best for you, After all, you didn't seek for our opinions when you wanted to collect the dick.
Put yourself together and accept your fate.
Rest well.

Whether the story is true or not, please let us know how & what to comment because if what she’s saying is true about ‘ending up her life’ then this your comment which is the bitter truth is not worth it at this moment. Kindly let us all give her the advice she needs.

As for you woman, i pray God in his infinite mercy forgive you and make you stronger. Taking your life is not worth it as that won’t give you eternal life. Remember your children are there too. Stay strong and keep on pleading with your husband.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Nobody: 12:08pm On May 22, 2019
Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.
The worst mistake you would make Is to regret telling your husband. If he forgives you so easily as you expected,then know he sees you as nothing also, you would likely cheat again.
The biggest problem of cheating is that it destroys trust-which to me is the biggest component of a marriage.
By and by,what married women like you-who cheat-fail to understand is that, it takes a very irresponsible man to sleep with a married woman. How you expect your lover to become responsible all of a sudden baffles me!
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Beckham14: 12:08pm On May 22, 2019
lion042:
Bro how can I give u one bottle of origin?
grin Thanks.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by bayulll011(m): 12:12pm On May 22, 2019
Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can'tanymore.

ok Quick one.
I won't blame him but that asides he's been human in his own way.
the truth is Women can easily forgive a cheating husband,but it takes only few men that will forgive a cheating wife,all you need to do is re unite your relationship with your maker,all hope is not lost and don't you dare think about dieing cos if am one of those kids i will erase you from My memory trust me kids of nowadays don't care,if you mess up they will surely get back at you.

The deed has been done,i always tell people your husband is your best friend in marriage,tell him anything before things go awry,obviously the only way you can divorced a woman was if she cheated,am not gonna passed judgement also i believe people should live with the consequences of their actions.

You will be fine.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by ZookieZookie(m): 12:14pm On May 22, 2019
I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.
[color=#990000][/color]if you love your husband truly as you claim, I'm sure you won't find any excuse in spreading your leg to enjoy a stranger's cucumber. I'm sure you really enjoyed the cucumber and you even suck it.
Definitely you have moved on because you said you got yourself 2 bedroom apartment and you've moved in with your kids so enjoy your life.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Beckham14: 12:15pm On May 22, 2019
bluecircle470:


Whether the story is true or not, please let us know how & what to comment because if what she’s saying is true about ‘ending up her life’ then this your comment which is the bitter truth is not worth it at this moment. Kindly let us all give her the advice she needs.

As for you woman, i pray God in his infinite mercy forgive you and make you stronger. Taking your life is not worth it as that won’t give you eternal life. Remember your children are there too. Stay strong and keep on pleading with your husband.
So there's a specific time when the "bitter truth" need to be said? Whatever she does with her life, We are not responsible for it, she brought it to this forum and you don't expect everyone here to give her what she would like to hear as consolation for her mistakes.
I don't pet my words neither do I write comments to please anyone. I say things as it is and if anyone is not cool with that, that person can do whatever he/she likes with their lives.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by inspector1(m): 12:15pm On May 22, 2019
[quote author=Beckham14 post=78301312] Some might come to her defense and say that she's working and probably her husband do give her some money, so she used part of her savings to rent a 2bedroom flat.



Were do u expect her to moved to? U should know she can't move to an hotel or friends place because that is another blunder & if she does, it will come with a lot of questions.
It's a simple logic, the only choice ops has is to get herself an accommodation and move with her kids.
My advice for her is to meet with her parents first and explain everything to them before her husband do so.
Her parent will always be her parent, they can't kill her but rather blamed her for her actions and then use their experience as a parent to resolve the matter before it get out of hands completely.
If their intervention fail to yield positive result, then she should let go and move on with life.
NO CHALLENGES WORTH UR LIFE OPS, PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT THE WORSE CRIME AGAINST GOD IS FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE HIS/HER LIFE.... JUDGEMENT AWAIT SUCH ONES, PLS DONT MAKE ANOTHER MISTAKE.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by superlanny(m): 12:17pm On May 22, 2019
Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.
Dear Op, I understand what you are going through now may be tough, but killing yourself is not the solution, you have better and sweeter things to live for(your children) and trust me you made the right choice by telling him the truth, I admire you for that. If I have a woman who cheats on me and tells me and is remorseful, I will forgive her, even tho it's won't be easy. Yes you made a mistake, yes you fuccked up, but that's the common denominator for all humans"mistakes", there is no one in this world who hasn't made one, so you need to realise that whatever you do now must not affect your life or children, if your husband is not willing to forgive you, you must find a way to move on, you are not the first to cheat and you won't be the last, even as am typing this , a wife is cheating on her husband somewhere, so just forgive yourself and move on with life, people will bash you" na dem be Jesus PA" let them, you must develop a thick skin and forgive yourself, once Christ has forgiven you, den forgive yourself, as for your husband, don't hold any resentment to him, we all handle emotional incidents like this different, for as long as the issue drags, be ready to always apologize to him, no matter the outcome of the problem. I'll suggest you see a therapist preferably female, and also put it to God in prayer to lead you and comfort you. Finally as for your Parents, you have to apologize to them, and I suggest you let them know before he tells them, if you have someone in your family that you are close to and they listen to, talk to that person first. I wish you the best sis, but never consider the option of suicide. I'll be praying for you.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by gbagyiza: 12:17pm On May 22, 2019
Cheating in marriage is the most difficult thing to swallow. Even d bible take note of it. One thing i realized about Christianity is it teaching to always forgive but it specifically gave an option to divorce when infidelity is involved either on the side of the wife or the husband. so, u can see that this is a critical issue because trust has been broken. It is only God that can fix your marital crisis at this point. I wish u well.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by vengedre(m): 12:23pm On May 22, 2019
AceHood once said: "A w.hore will always be a w.hore". Come to think of it, you have kids for your husband, imagine growing up to realize your mom used to fuc.k her colleague at work till your dad sent her out of his house... You heartless though but I don't know really, maybe your husband should forgive u (1.) Cos y'all have kids together(which nobody knows if he's the true father) and (2.) Cos you regretted your actions and told him, without him even suspecting anything, though that doesn't mean you won't still fuc.k around, since "a w.hore will always be a w.hore"... I wish you well though, everybody makes mistakes at some point and I pray he forgives you.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by ekems2017(f): 12:25pm On May 22, 2019
Beckham14:
Mean? For saying things as it is?
Thank you, I love it.

she needs advice now on how to cope with life. She has regreted her mistakes you don't need to hang her on the cross again. In one way or the other nobody is perfect bros. We all have our shortcomings.

Thks you didn't give me my own bashing.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by GistFullGround: 12:29pm On May 22, 2019
Marbella003:
I took some of the advice from my previous thread and told my husband what happened. Here is the thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5162191/cheated-husband-guy-work-dont

I was genuine shedding tears as I relayed my shameful experience to him. I apologized and begged for him to forgive me and I promised to never repeat such again. I thought he'd understand and forgive me. But I was wrong. My husband now wants a divorce. Actually, he has sent me and the kids out of his house. I have a daughter who is 4 and a son who is 2. My husband said he doesn't think he is the father. I assured him that he is and that he should get a DNA test to confirm. But he refused.

I rented a 2 bedroom flat somewhere close to my office. This is where I currently stay. Since leaving my husband's house I have only received a phone call from him where he stated the date that he and I were going to visit my parents who are currently in my village. He told me that if I wasn't going to come, he'd go alone and tell them what happened and why he decided to divorce me.

I feel like my life is over. I can't face my parents and tell them what I've done. It's very shameful. I can't even face my friends and relations. I feel like I'm drowning a pool of shame and despair. I can't imagine being a single mother at this age. I love my husband and I enjoyed our marriage. I can't imagine it all being over.

I called my colleague and told him everything. He said that I shouldn't hold him responsible for anything since our rendezvous was based on mutual consent. He said he doesn't want to have anything to with me and we should keep our relationship at work very platonic so as not to raise eyebrows of those who might link him to what happened with me.

I'm utterly hopeless. I feel like taking my life. I almost took this action yesterday but I pitied my children. But with every passing day I feel like suicide is the only way to end my pain. I wish I had listened to those people who advised me to keep what I did a secret. I wanted to, but every time I was with my husband I felt I was constantly betraying him by hiding the truth from him. I just want to die. I can't bare this pain anymore.






If you really want to be free from this pain and shame, visit TB Joshua for deliverance.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by joedejoe: 12:29pm On May 22, 2019
Can you send me the phone number of your husband? Who knows God can change his heart for good as talk and pray with him.


Get my details from my signature.

God bless
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by superlanny(m): 12:29pm On May 22, 2019
Beckham14:
When you were spreading your legs like blue band you never thought of the love you had for that innocent man who put a roof over your head, you never thought of the "marriage" you wish to protect, Now you have lost the trust your parents had for you, and might as well lose the love of your kids when your "ex" husband tells them how promiscuous their mother is and how adventurous she can be with the dick in an hotel room.
Some mistakes are avoidable and you don't have any excuse to give for this silly mistake you brought upon yourself.
May God bless that your "ex" husband for handling that heart shattering news with such calmness, not all men can wait till you finish your sexcapdes without registering some thunderous blows on your face.
The m0ron who fuucked you like a cheap slut has dump you like a piece of trash.
Before you think of killing yourself by yourself, take those innocent children to your parents. I won't stop you from doing what you feel best for you, After all, you didn't seek for our opinions when you wanted to collect the dick.
Put yourself together and accept your fate.
Rest well.
Baba we all know she fuccked up, but you don't throw the baby and the dirty bath water away, sebi this one still feels remorse, the ones that don't feel remorse and continue to do it for years and even kill you so as to pave way for more fucck collection, you dey act like say no be all man dey mess up, just like Jesus said, he who is with no sin cast the first stone, don't be an hypocrite and be acting all saint up, na person like you go dey cry like pickin when him fucck up, be forming nonsense boss there.
Re: I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. by Automatic3444(m): 12:34pm On May 22, 2019
Despite been guilty pls u got to be courageous. Life is black and white we just add colours to make it beautiful. No matter ur sin pls think of ur lovely beautiful and Innocent children. Always remember YOU ARE NEVER THE FIRST AND YOU WILL NEVER BE THE LAST.. We humans are not perfect pls be courageous take the blames and overcome.live for ur children. They are ur future.

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