On behalf of a friend who seeks your advice,

My Father's younger brother lost his job as a security guard in a hotel about 7 years ago. He was then kicked out by his landlord along with his wife and son from their rented one room apartment.

My dad took pity on them and allowed them to move into our boys quarters for free till he gets a job and is able to get a place to stay (that was the agreement).

Its been 7 years since they moved in and this man has refused to get a job! His wife has birthed 5 more kids (6 in total) in the space of 7 years!

My dad takes care of their feeding, school fees and hospital bills. Daddy has offered him 3 jobs but he refused stating the pay is too small to cater for his family, NOTE: this man doesn't even have a primary school cert.

Few years ago daddy gave him the sum of 250k to start a business of his choice but he used the money to pay his wife's bride price and hosted a big traditional wedding, his reason? So his wife's family would get off his back.

My mum is at the receiving end. This man went to my father's kinsmen and told them my mother is a bad woman and she is jealous of his wife who has 4 sons as my mother has only 2 female kids. He told them my mother wants him and his family on the streets.

Mother has been nice to them, the only issue she had was his wife coming into our kitchen to take food or cooking items without her permission or her children watching TV and scattering our parlor. My mum stopped letting them into the main house because the day she scolded the kids, their mum accused her of cursing them.

One day my mother cooked and served them 4 pieces of chicken and this man had the audacity to return the food telling my mother to take a look at his male children that they can devour a whole chicken but she won't understand as she has no son, his wife stood behind laughing.

He has also advised my dad severally to get a second wife. He even brought a 'maid' once.

My mother has complained severally to my dad who feels obligated to take care of them as his brother sacrificed his education for him. My mother decided to push no further and has seen it as a test from her God.

We usually travel overseas for holidays and this man has been pressuring my dad to take his family along.

So many incidents I can't recount here...

Mum is getting depressed by the day and dad is strained. I want to stand up and take the bull by the horn, please help

What bull and what horns?
These ones are just waiting for your dad to die so that they can inherit his property and kick you guys out to the streets.

If your dad is not ready to do anything about it, there is really nothing you can do except complain to your dad. Especially as it is not your money or your house.

Your uncle is used to not doing anything and his needs are met. After 7 years of lounging, it will be hard for him to change. Your dad is between a rock and a hard place. God knows what his brother sacrificed for him. He probably sees it as his way of helping him. However, enabling a lazy man can never end well.

blank:
What bull and what horns?
These ones are just waiting for your dad to die so that they can inherit his property and kick you guys out to the streets.

If your dad is not ready to do anything about it, there is really nothing you can do except complain to your dad. Especially as it is not your money or your house.

Your uncle is used to not doing anything and his needs are met. After 7 years of lounging, it will be hard for him to change. Your dad is between a rock and a hard place. God knows what his brother sacrificed for him. He probably sees it as his way of helping him. However, enabling a lazy man can never end well.

You're saying she should just sit and watch them ride o on her family?

Hmmm...

This is seriously nauseatingly disgusting and one of the feelings of over-bloated sense of entitlements in our African family set ups and one of the main reasons why we are always stuck in a vicious cycle of poverty.

Very annoying attitude. ..

Jolenejole:
On behalf of a friend who seeks your advice,

My Father's younger brother lost his job as a security guard in a hotel about 7 years ago. He was then kicked out by his landlord along with his wife and son from their rented one room apartment.

My dad took pity on them and allowed them to move into our boys quarters for free till he gets a job and is able to get a place to stay (that was the agreement).

Its been 7 years since they moved in and this man has refused to get a job! His wife has birthed 5 more kids (6 in total) in the space of 7 years!

My dad takes care of their feeding, school fees and hospital bills. Daddy has offered him 3 jobs but he refused stating the pay is too small to cater for his family, NOTE: this man doesn't even have a primary school cert.

Few years ago daddy gave him the sum of 250k to start a business of his choice but he used the money to pay his wife's bride price and hosted a big traditional wedding, his reason? So his wife's family would get off his back.

My mum is at the receiving end. This man went to my father's kinsmen and told them my mother is a bad woman and she is jealous of his wife who has 4 sons as my mother has only 2 female kids. He told them my mother wants him and his family on the streets.

Mother has been nice to them, the only issue she had was his wife coming into our kitchen to take food or cooking items without her permission or her children watching TV and scattering our parlor. My mum stopped letting them into the main house because the day she scolded the kids, their mum accused her of cursing them.

One day my mother cooked and served them 4 pieces of chicken and this man had the audacity to return the food telling my mother to take a look at his male children that they can devour a whole chicken but she won't understand as she has no son, his wife stood behind laughing.

He has also advised my dad severally to get a second wife. He even brought a 'maid' once.

My mother has complained severally to my dad who feels obligated to take care of them as his brother sacrificed his education for him. My mother decided to push no further and has seen it as a test from her God.

We usually travel overseas for holidays and this man has been pressuring my dad to take his family along.

So many incidents I can't recount here...

Mum is getting depressed by the day and dad is strained. I want to stand up and take the bull by the horn, please help

If your dad feels obliged to help them.
Let him rent or buy a house for them somewhere else.

He can be sending food stuff and everything he likes to them.

One day that man will kill your father mother amd take over the house. Una go tbink say na play

Hope your mother's name is on the house document

On behalf of a friend who seeks your advice,

...

If your FATHER does not mind, then why should you (or anyone else) mind?!

MrBrownJay1:
If your FATHER does not mind, then why should you (or anyone else) mind?!

E dey reduce their own allocation na.

AntiBrutus:


E dey reduce their own allocation na.

Then let her take the matter to her DAD, and certainly NOT at NL looking for ways to get back at these innocent people.

Wait for them to go out and burn down the guest house. Nonsense. Your mum should also invite her relatives into your house!

Establish yourself (because I know this is your story and not a friend's). You and your mom should try and make something of your lives now that your dad is still alive. I'm not wishing you the worst, but think of the future and leave all these Petty issues with your father's extended family.

Sounds fake

My village uncle season 1-6. Starring Pete Edocie-father, Ngozi Ezeonu-mother, Chiwetalu Agu-uncle, patience Ozokwor- wife, Chacha Eke-1st daughter and Regina Daniel-2nd daughter.

How could your father risk you guys out so cheaply?

Jolenejole:

You're saying she should just sit and watch them ride o on her family?

Unfortunately,she is neither footing the bills nor are they living in her house. Realistically, she can't do much except keep malice with them and create more problems.

Jolenejole:


My mother has complained severally to my dad who feels obligated to take care of them as his brother sacrificed his education for him. My mother decided to push no further and has seen it as a test from her God.

Her mother has complained and her dad still insists on his course of action. She should toe her mum's line and take it as a test from God until her dad decides to wisen up.

I can already see the catastrophe waiting to happen.

6 kids in 7 years in a boys Quarter. An European or Ajebo would think you're lying but I've seen similar situation. A lot of Africans are really really shameless and have absolutely no sense or understanding of resource management

Ok

MrBrownJay1:


Then let her take the matter to her DAD, and certainly NOT at NL looking for ways to get back at these innocent people.

those people are not innocent how can they be hurting thr host,they can take over that house when the father die

If you're really grown up,set every one on his toes in that house till they give you what you want you can not have your mother been depressed in her own matrimonial home.the man doesn't even want to work,you did not go to school n you choice,is not to manage the small work pending on when you get a better one,your mother has played her own role probably she doesn't want the thing cost her marriage,approach your father if he is wealthy enough let him rent another house for them,I can't imagine I family man,some one accommodate you,is feeding you and your family and arguing with his wife.young lady do some thing before some do u,that man is not serious with his life,I knw some one like this,d thing dey pain

The issue here is the Dad, as he seems to be getting his validation from spoon feeding his brother. He sees no inconvenience nor the wildfire that would erupt when he is no more.....the brother is hanging around with no motivation to be independent as he is eyeing what his brother owns.

The wife should make sure, what the family owns in the urban area also has her name and daughters names on it.

Some men just do not see anything wrong in placing their wives and children at the mercy of their extended family members when they are no more despite the raw deal they are certainly going to get and how we get to see it happen often.

Knew of a similar situation, happened in the early 2000s where the man had 3 daughters and had his younger sister who had separated from her husband come live with his family with her children, the man taking full responsibility for them and this made his other siblings see his house as their family house , his wife and daughters relegated to the background.

When he died, his siblings took over and sold the house. The wife and daughters left with nothing, their saving grace was that the wife's family didn't abandon them. They are all now living with their mother in the Netherlands, 2 of the daughters are now married to Dutch husbands while their father's family have been disturbing them to bring their husbands to the village to pay their bride price, a village they last visited when their father died. They boldly told their paternal uncles that they will never come down for any traditional wedding nor are they going to even get a chicken from them.

Will.!!! WILL.!!!! WILL.!!! Your dad should draft his will just incase.... you should convince him to do so, I know that it's quite difficult for Africans to do so....

Your Mother should allow your father to assist his brother however when she smells them around her personal space, she should react...

You should know that He has a bond with his brother before your mother came into the picture... So whatever you people are saying would not hold water... though the man kinda sounds arrogant... if he doesn't have a certificate why should he desire a job with big salary

Amanee:
Establish yourself (because I know this is your story and not a friend's). You and your mom should try and make something of your lives now that your dad is still alive. I'm not wishing you the worst, but think of the future and leave all these Petty issues with your father's extended family.

Assumption is the mother of all errors.
How did you know it's her?

those kind people u go use sense chase them away... na so so money go miss. na so so uncle dey use one eye look mummy and me. na uncle come house one day dey begin dey touch me one Kain. dey complain to daddy ear.. daddy go do the neeedful

jackslow:
those people are not innocent how can they be hurting thr host,they can take over that house when the father die

Hurting how?! I don't see the father (aka owner of the said house) complaining, therefore why should anyone?!

MrBrownJay1:


Hurting how?! I don't see the father (aka owner of the said house) complaining, therefore why should anyone?!

That's the route that has led many widows and their children to be thrown out after the demise of the man.

Pavore9:


That's the route that has led many widows and their children to be thrown out after the demise of the man.

Then let wifey talk to hubby to have a sound will in place.

MrBrownJay1:


Then let wifey talk to hubby to have a sound will in place.

That is a good advice but we know most men will not take such advice in good faith and some would accuse their wives of wanting them to die soonest, living in denial about the fact that men are more likely to die before their wives.

What audacity!

God forbid something happens to your dad eh, that uncle go suffer una.

Your dad needs to cut off from giving them anything. They'll go find jobs by force.

So your mum gave them free access to her kitchen and parlour, even when the boysquatters was handed over to them, to the extent the wife comes into kitchen to pick things without permission. Well, as she layed her bed......... Your father's brother does not see a need to ever vacate the boysquatters be it now or in future, becos he is wondering who would occupy it, after all, he has seen that your father has just two children. He sacrificed his education for your dad's, but your dad has paid his dues to him(ie has rewarded him enough), so your dad should stop feeling obligated to him. I don't know if your uncle has jinxed your dad, but I know he has not jinxed your mum, so why is your mum folding her hands to watch the situation? She said it's a test from God, then in future when the situation boomerangs, she will say that God has failed her. Neither you or your mum is acting smart in the situation. I have seen a woman who had a similar case, went for IVF and gave birth to two twin baby boys, so what has your mum been waiting for all these years? Some men don't hide their will, has your dad written a will? Because a will maybe ''a bit helpful'' if your uncle attempts to take the properties in future. Only God knows when people will die, but how can one be sure that this man may not attempt to kill your dad? What was a jobless man thinking of fatherring 6kids? You and mum should talk to your dad, advice him to rent a place for your uncle, ie pay rent for 2-3yrs, then give him a reasonable amount to set up business. Your dad should plan and save enough money to do this for this your uncle once and for all. He can buy him taxi for Uber. You and your sister are very dull, otherwise you would have been smart to have a glimpse of your dad's will, becos most educated men write their will even before 50yrs.

Take the bull by the horn girl.
Go for it or else chinwetaluagu will do part 1 of nollywood in your house oooo!!

Ogbenye amonsu plenty oooo!

Pavore9:


Knew of a similar situation, happened in the early 2000s where the man had 3 daughters and had his younger sister who had separated from her husband come live with his family with her children, the man taking full responsibility for them and this made his other siblings see his house as their family house , his wife and daughters relegated to the background.

When he died, his siblings took over and sold the house. The wife and daughters left with nothing, their saving grace was that the wife's family didn't abandon them. They are all now living with their mother in the Netherlands, 2 of the daughters are now married to Dutch husbands while their father's family have been disturbing them to bring their husbands to the village to pay their bride price, a village they last visited when their father died. They boldly told their paternal uncles that they will never come down for any traditional wedding nor are they going to even get a chicken from them.

You always crack me up.
They want bride price in FCY.