If you think your husband is cheating, take him out on a date and speak to him about it. That is your husband and your marriage.

People will find your husband attractive, he will find people attractive. And instead of talking about it and squashing it, you want to push him far away.

zeb04:
If you think your wife is cheating, take her out on a date and speak to her about it. That is your wife and your marriage.

Right now you are suspecting her and I guess giving her silent treatment.not eating her food. What good will that bring you, it will push her father away. You will sabotage it yourself.

Effort in marriage is for both parties.

People will find your wife attractive, she will find people attractive. And instead of talking about it and squashing it, you want to push her far away.

And no she isn’t cheating on you. She probably just looking for attention. You should give her more.

Goodluck.

And btw, I am married .

ibkayee:

*hugs*

Thanks dear

Thank you

bukatyne:


After reading further,

Your wife has to 100% committed to the marriage to enjoy it.

And opening an account on a dating site (active or not) is not a sign of commitment.

Depending on the type of marriage you have, you should know her phone passwords if you have shared yours too.

She has complained of early marriage and lack of attention from you.

Have a sit down and talk.

1. She has to deactivate her dating account

2. You need to understand her other needs apart from money. You work your ass off tells me you provide money however might not be there emotionally for her and the kids. Not holding brief for her.

3. Open the lines of communication. If either party has a need, should be communicated and solution found. The need should also not be ridiculed. 'I need you more around' might sound funny to you because you are hussling (legitimate) however, there needs to be a balance.

4. She needs to share her password (if you have done yours)

5. She should look for ways to make your relationship more fun. You should also think of ideas to break the monotony of responsibilities. It might be one of the reasons she feels she married too early. Also have getaways or drop the kids with grandparents and court yourselves afresh while still at BF stage. Just f*ck yourselves to stupor, binge on movies and do take outs etc so you feel young again. Also develop hobbies together and separately.

I am looking for a case of starting afresh especially as you did not catch her cheating in you.

Goodluck.

djlinda77:
So sorry about what you are going through right now. I'm glad you called it a phase. It will pass, trust me.
Personally I can deal with whatsoever my woman throws at me but not cheating and she knows...
Each time I look at her now, I see a cheating wife.
Cheating is not until a woman sleep with man, but having the thought. In this case, she at one point thought of cheating that was why she registered on that dating site.
I just hope this phase will pass so I can see her the same way I used to.
I also hope the trust can be restored because right now I have zero trust

My brother talk to your wife and know why she password her phone. It was my husband that asked me to password my phone, he knows my password and I know his too. Even his online banking password (olodo me can't remember) if she password her phone tell her to give you the password. And the dating site, tell her to deactivate it but forget about the bank statement you're requesting from her.

All the best brother

babyfaceafrica:
men also need attention from their woman..OP has been working his self out ..he is down...he needs help from his wife....marriage is supposed to be symbiotic not parasitic!!!.....they both need each other for one to survive!!..Must the man do everything?. can't the women give support!!...

You may say all that but the woman in a mans life needs his attention. She can reciprocate in a feminine way. Whatever you give a woman she will multiply it tenfold and give it back to you.
That's why they have womb, to incubate and grow things.

Give a woman sperm she will give you a baby in return
Give a woman real love and she will multiply it many fold
Give a woman wahala and she will show you they have grade one in wahala

But many men nowadays don't understand this

crackhaus:

Chief as you can see, I never disagreed with her and I'm not in disagreement with you either.

Which is why this still stands


Do you agree?

OK I get you right. Sure irrespective of what many modern day feminist may say, women need men so much. Why do they spend time and a lot to look good?
They want a Good man.

Men that understands this can mould there women into what they want. The exception being the sluty, highly immoral women, which any decent man will run and avoid

djon78:


You may say all that but the woman in a mans life needs his attention. She can reciprocate in a feminine way. Whatever you give a woman she will multiply it tenfold and give it back to you.
That's why they have womb, to incubate and grow things.

Give a woman sperm she will give you a baby in return
Give a woman real love and she will multiply it many fold
Give a woman wahala and she will show you they have grade one in wahala

But many men nowadays don't understand this

Nice one

Houseofglam7:
I unfortunately have no advice on this matter.....
You're married....good for ya.
I'm single as a dollar bill....and I'm not in the place to advise you

I never knew a dollar bill was single though, but now i know

djon78:


I am a man and true women need attention from there man.

And op said he has been working his ass off, but he may have started neglecting giving his wife attention. A very bag guy that comes around that knows what women ears want to hear can hijack the situation.

The dude need to balance his game. Improve on his connection with his woman. Woman are very different from we men. Most men don't understand that.

Lmao, realistically speaking. The best way to balance the equation is to be Jobless or take a low paying job that would give you more time to stay with your wife and kids.

You cannot be earning a high 6 or 7 figures in Naira per month and not be working your ass off.

Women want your time & money, you have to forfeit both. Then live averagely Lmao.

zeb04:

Goodluck.

And btw, I am married .

Congratulations, you & OP's wife must be thinking alike. Since you also behave like this when you need attention.

djon78:


You may say all that but the woman in a mans life needs his attention. She can reciprocate in a feminine way. Whatever you give a woman she will multiply it tenfold and give it back to you.
That's why they have womb, to incubate and grow things.

Give a woman sperm she will give you a baby in return
Give a woman real love and she will multiply it many fold
Give a woman wahala and she will show you they have grade one in wahala

But many men nowadays don't understand this

some of una de like yarn trash. dem never tell you say na only woman wey believe in her husband and marriage de return in multiple folds any good thing wey her husband do foram. from wetin de man talk here so, you supposed to see say her woman no too believe in her marriage again, so unless she makes up her mind to make things better nothing good wey de husband do now she go return not to talk of returning in multiple folds .

truthsayer009:


Lmao, realistically speaking. The best way to balance the equation is to be Jobless or take a low paying job that would give you more time to stay with your wife and kids.

You cannot be earning a high 6 or 7 figures in Naira per month and not be working your ass off.

Women want your time & money, you have to forfeit both. Then live averagely Lmao.

Except you don't really care about your marriage
You can after all live the way you want. Highest na divorce or unstable home you will get finally.

Most especially with the times we are in now
If you no get time for your woman
There are so many bad guys out there
Whose daily ambition is Preying daily on women, they full everywhere now
Very terrible things dey happen nowadays
Only very few principled women can resist these kind of temptations

DukeofNZ:



some of una de like yarn trash. dem never tell you say na only woman wey believe in her husband and marriage de return in multiple folds any good thing wey her husband do foram. from wetin de man talk here so, you supposed to see say her woman no too believe in her marriage again, so unless she makes up her mind to make things better nothing good wey de husband do now she go return not to talk of returning in multiple folds .

I was replying to the guy that was complaining whether it was only woman requires attention.
My reference was not to the op.


As for this story the man highlighted the origin of the whole issue which is; working his ass off which means having less time for his woman. And this particular issue is one of the reasons why many Unions are having problems today.
It is a know fact that average woman like attention just like an average man like sex. Women can go to any length to get this attention. Many women have affair not even because of sex but because of the desire for attention. And bad guys out there understand it and bed ignorant men's wives, because of having that understanding of what women want.

djlinda77:
· Been married for 7years
· With 2 beautiful kids.
· Password on her phone for over two years
· I didn’t really bother, the level of trust was high
· Her reason for the password was because of the kids.
· At some point I started having doubts about her 100%. loyalty
· Some months ago while having conversation she jokingly. said we rushed into getting married.
· Yesterday, I discovered she registered on a dating site as single, no children, not her picture
· Interested in men between 33 to 38
. She described herself as “ I don’t pretend and I love people who don’t”
· Although the account is yet to be activated. No chat, no message
· Account was registered in Jan, 2019
· I confronted her, she said ladies at time do some funny things and this is one of them.
· She also put the blame on me, that am not always around.
· I work my asss off for her and the children.
· She was not remorseful at first as she claimed it wasn’t a big deal
· I left the room, slept in the sitting room,
· Called her dad around 11pm, wanted to speak to me
· Told him I can’t speak in the state of mind I was at that moment.
· Came to the sitting room early this morning, begging for forgiveness.
· I am not seeing her as my wife anymore.
· I believe there are so much more to be discovered
· There could be another dating site that she’s active on.
· I am confused
· I requested for her account statement for 2018 still date.
· Want to review if another man has been sending her money.
· Please I need advice from matured minds.
 
Thanks

From what you just typed, Your wife needs attention and care, why not give it to her? how is your sex life like? hope it isn't once a while ish, since your job schedule is making you unavailable, the little time you have with her, make it special, spoil her, make her feel like a queen, have great sex, listen to her, play with her and lastly talk to her.

She is human, and she has got some desires. YOUR WIFE ISN'T CHEATING ON YOU.

djlinda77:
So sorry about what you are going through right now. I'm glad you called it a phase. It will pass, trust me.

Personally I can deal with whatsoever my woman throws at me but not cheating and she knows...

Each time I look at her now, I see a cheating wife.

Cheating is not until a woman sleep with man, but having the thought. In this case, she at one point thought of cheating that was why she registered on that dating site.

I just hope this phase will pass so I can see her the same way I used to.

I also hope the trust can be restored because right now I have zero trust

It is unrealistic to think that your wife will NEVER think about cheating, or get attracted to another man, or consider cheating once in a while . . . where on earth do you men get the idea that women enjoy monotony? Just like men we sometimes get tired 'eating the same soup' and crave excitement for something new . . . especially when we get lonely.

So she took it to the next level and registered on a dating site . . . it's bad, but not worst case scenario. She could already be having one night stands and you won't be any wiser.

I get you feel sad and betrayed, but try and get over that fast and listen to her . . . . really listen to know where it all went wrong. The you can begin to fix it.

It's sad really, but women have been going through this and worse in the hands of their husbands for ages, and yet they still find a way to make their marriage work.

djon78:




Except you don't really care about your marriage
You can after all live the way you want. Highest na divorce or unstable home you will get finally.

Most especially with the times we are in now
If you no get time for your woman
There are so many bad guys out there
Whose daily ambition is Preying daily on women, they full everywhere now
Very terrible things dey happen nowadays
Only very few principled women can resist these kind of temptations

Yes. So after some few years. She will now start comparing you to the Men that took the Risk & went for a high paying job.

It's an infinite loop, there is no winning in this thing

Cc; Twoclans, Riyadhgoddess.

Clear enough now?

JasonScoolari:
Cc; Twoclans, Riyadhgoddess.

Clear enough now?

Jason most Delta boys are usually fun to be with.If you got that fun part in your DNA your wife might not cheat on you. No woman wants to loose a good man.

Go ahead and get married stop allowing your liver to cut based on a few stories on nairaland Most women are loyal .When a woman misbehaves there is always an underlying reason.

Twoclans:

Jason most Delta boys are usually fun to be with.If you got that fun part in your DNA your wife might not cheat on you. No woman wants to loose a good man.

Go ahead and get married stop allowing your liver to cut based on a few stories on nairaland Most women are loyal .When a woman misbehaves there is always an underlying reason.

I have come to realize that even if you give Most Nigerian ladies the best furck, attention, care, make her laugh, build a mansion for her father, they'll still have another excuse to cheat.


By the way, are you from Delta state?

djon78:



OK I get you right. Sure irrespective of what many modern day feminist may say, women need men so much. Why do they spend time and a lot to look good?
They want a Good man.

Men that understands this can mould there women into what they want. The exception being the sluty, highly immoral women, which any decent man will run and avoid

I am in complete agreement with you, I've always known that truth.

JasonScoolari:
I have come to realize that even if you give Most Nigerian ladies the best furck, attention, care, make her laugh, build a mansion for her father, they'll still have another excuse to cheat.


By the way, are you from Delta state?

Your first statement is not absolutely true. I have married ladies as friends who are loyal to their husband's despite the husbands not deserving of such loyalty.

The only thing I can tell you is ; marry a lady who is your friend. It makes marriage easier.

I am not from Delta State.

UjuJoan2:


It is unrealistic to think that your wife will NEVER think about cheating, or get attracted to another man, or consider cheating once in a while . . . where on earth do you men get the idea that women enjoy monotony? Just like men we sometimes get tired 'eating the same soup' and crave excitement for something new . . . especially when we get lonely.

So she took it to the next level and registered on a dating site . . . it's bad, but not worst case scenario. She could already be having one night stands and you won't be any wiser.

I get you feel sad and betrayed, but try and get over that fast and listen to her . . . . really listen to know where it all went wrong. The you can begin to fix it.

It's sad really, but women have been going through this and worse in the hands of their husbands for ages, and yet they still find a way to make their marriage work.

He's already wise enough to realize she might have had the one night stand already, hence the thread.

Twoclans:


Your first statement is not absolutely true. I have married ladies as friends who are loyal to their husband's despite the husbands not deserving of such loyalty.

The only thing I can tell you is ; marry a lady who is your friend. It makes marriage easier.

I am not from Delta State.

Are there any lady we can call friends again?

"Bestie Bestie" for Day
"Harder Harder" for Night.

JasonScoolari:
I have come to realize that even if you give Most Nigerian ladies the best furck, attention, care, make her laugh, build a mansion for her father, they'll still have another excuse to cheat.


By the way, are you from Delta state?

You are damn wrong Oniovo.

I have met so many nice and loyal ladies in my life, some married while some singles, if as a man you failed in fulfilling your duties, then you are inviting more problems into your home.

Efewestern:



You are damn wrong Oniovo.

I have met so many nice and loyal ladies in my life, some married while some singles, if as a man you failed in fulfilling your duties, then you are inviting more problems into your home.

Omamuriokè Oniovò, Please I want to ask, what other "duties" are there to fulfill apart from the one I listed above?

Help your brother...

Dump her and get a new wife. Some women can never change no matter how well you treat them. Before she cook wetin you no know give you, check her phone and bank history and let her go if you find anything fishy.

JasonScoolari:
Are there any lady we call call friends again?

"Bestie Bestie" for Day
"Harder Harder" for Night.

I agree with you on this,however open your eyes my dear 1,Look around you.
2,Look within your church environment
3,Look at children born by your parents friends.
4,Look within your village
5,Look at siblings of your male friends .

If you check within this five circles and still can't find a girl.Then come back let us reappraise the qualities you want in a wife,lf we still don't make headway then you can just sacrifice your odogwu and become a priest.

crackhaus:



He's already wise enough to realize she might have had the one night stand already, hence the thread.

You are on a mission to destroy this marriage, right?

Oyindidi:
You are on a mission to destroy this marriage, right?

Where did you get this impression from?

crackhaus:



He's already wise enough to realize she might have had the one night stand already, hence the thread.

if she has had the one night stand so what is the point of this thread. He should just divorce her na and get it over with.

crackhaus:

Where did you get this impression from?

The post I quoted

UjuJoan2:


if she has had the one night stand so what is the point of this thread. He should just divorce her na and get it over with.

He thinks she might.
Being suspicious means being aware of a possibility...so if she has cheated already, he will be ALL the wiser, not NONE the wiser like you posited earlier.