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How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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My New Girlfriend Went Back To Her Abusive Ex Boyfriend / How Do I Leave A Single Mother Without Hurting Her? / My Babe Threatened To Kill Me If I Leave Her; Should I Take Her Serious? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by schumastic(m): 6:51am On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
I will try as much as possible to make this brief and clear(excuse my typos).
Met this guy while I was in my part 1 and we've been dating for a couple of years, the issue is, he's very possessive and overly jealous, restricted me from having male friends, I have to tell him everything and everywhere I want to go, snoops through my phone, read my chats and sometimes harasses my male callers, my last protest was met with series of slaps, everything I try to walk out of the relationship, he threatens to leak my nudes and tapes, also promised to leak my family secret I told him when the going was good..... I really need help and advises on how to leave the relationship because my heart is no longer there and am scared of calling his bluff

If you are really serious about leaving the relationship and your only worry is the nudes and videos, it's very easy.

First of all get the police or a military personnel involve, let the dude sign an undertaking not to release such and he must delete everything. If he does otherwise, they will come pick him up.

For the one of your family, he can say what he likes. Who cares, it will only be for a while and that's it. the most important thing is the nudes and once that is settled, just leave his sorry ass. Guys who hit ladies are cowards.

Signed.

Vice President,

Bachelors Club,

Ikeja, Lagos Branch.

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by ebonyggurl(f): 7:11am On May 27, 2019
badadvice:
Miss, tbh, Your situation is pretty complex.
If you leave him, he leaks your nude and videos,
if you stay with him, he'll continue beating and one day kill you,
if you report him to the authorities, nigga could seek bail or spend 5-6years at most in prison and when he comes out, people like him can find you and do shiit to you,
if you report to your family, nigga could release your family secret and shame y'all.
So, i'll advise you to poison him.
Poison him or find a way to slowly kill the bloke and make it look like a suicide case.
I've watched alot of movies like this and this has always been the solution.
It might be your only solution too.
I don't know though.

Breaking his phone will be easier on her conscience than killing him though

1 Like

Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by schumastic(m): 7:20am On May 27, 2019
ebonyggurl:


Breaking his phone will be easier on her conscience than killing him though

With the way he hits her I don't think that will be good for her. He might end up beating her to death.
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by babyfaceafrica: 7:23am On May 27, 2019
Tomoyayi:
. Why do the girls allow it?
foolishness
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Nobody: 7:27am On May 27, 2019
badadvice:



no offence but i think you should check the meaning of "choleric" and then re-read op's post.
I know what Choleric means and no offence I think you're a dumb person trying to sound smart. You must be a very narrow minded individual if you think people with other temperaments are not capable of wicked acts like this.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by badadvice(f): 7:30am On May 27, 2019
ebonyggurl:


Breaking his phone will be easier on her conscience than killing him though

it will.
But what if he already made copies stacked up somewhere.
She'd just sign her death warrant by breaking his phone.
I say to hell with the dude.
Slow painless death.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by badadvice(f): 7:32am On May 27, 2019
Admin401:
I know what Choleric means and no offence I think you're a dumb person trying to sound smart. You must be a very narrow minded individual if you think people with other temperaments are not capable of wicked acts like this.




K
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by kullozone(m): 7:37am On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
I will try as much as possible to make this brief and clear(excuse my typos).
Met this guy while I was in my part 1 and we've been dating for a couple of years, the issue is, he's very possessive and overly jealous, restricted me from having male friends, I have to tell him everything and everywhere I want to go, snoops through my phone, read my chats and sometimes harasses my male callers, my last protest was met with series of slaps, everything I try to walk out of the relationship, he threatens to leak my nudes and tapes, also promised to leak my family secret I told him when the going was good..... I really need help and advises on how to leave the relationship because my heart is no longer there and am scared of calling his bluff

You don't want people to see your Towtow?

Why smiley
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Missperplexity0(f): 8:10am On May 27, 2019
schumastic:


If you are really serious about leaving the relationship and your only worry is the nudes and videos, it's very easy.

First of all get the police or a military personnel involve, let the dude sign an undertaking not to release such and he must delete everything. If he does otherwise, they will come pick him up.

For the one of your family, he can say what he likes. Who cares, it will only be for a while and that's it. the most important thing is the nudes and once that is settled, just leave his sorry ass. Guys who hit ladies are cowards.

Signed.

Vice President,

Bachelors Club,

Ikeja, Lagos Branch.

lol....thanks a lot
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Missperplexity0(f): 8:13am On May 27, 2019
SweetBuns:

Bad advice.

Bad advise indeed.
Missperplexity0 dont do it. It will make things worse. Think about how you'll feel If you do this.
Think about the fear, guilt trips, phobia of getting arrested, loss of self respect and possibly suicidal mood that might come over you if you do this.
I strongly advise you to turn deaf ears to this slowpoke. Please
i don't even have the heart to do that and moreover this secret is like to cause divorce between my parent and also tarnish my father reputation because he's a respectable priest and oversees our church headquarter
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Kendumazy(m): 8:44am On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
i don't even have the heart to do that and moreover this secret is like to cause divorce between my parent and also tarnish my father reputation because he's a respectable priest and oversees our church headquarter


Chai! You fvcked up. Such secrets aren't what you share with people. Forget love next time. Whatever happens within your family, let it stay within your family. May God help you out of this one.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by ebonyggurl(f): 9:15am On May 27, 2019
badadvice:


it will.
But what if he already made copies stacked up somewhere.
She'd just sign her death warrant by breaking his phone.
I say to hell with the dude.
Slow painless death.

Lolz...can death be slow and painless at the same time?
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Nobody: 9:29am On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
I will try as much as possible to make this brief and clear(excuse my typos).
Met this guy while I was in my part 1 and we've been dating for a couple of years, the issue is, he's very possessive and overly jealous, restricted me from having male friends, I have to tell him everything and everywhere I want to go, snoops through my phone, read my chats and sometimes harasses my male callers, my last protest was met with series of slaps, everything I try to walk out of the relationship, he threatens to leak my nudes and tapes, also promised to leak my family secret I told him when the going was good..... I really need help and advises on how to leave the relationship because my heart is no longer there and am scared of calling his bluff




In his next life he won't dare make threats to release your nudes&tapes. He'll be dealt with severely prior to it. Its high time you involve a third party for you to have peace of Mind.
Pls give detailed infos in my dm if you don't mind.
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Savage200(m): 10:24am On May 27, 2019
When he’s shouting and hitting you justbtry to make a video or a voice not of him doing that...go to the station and report you have evidence.so simple I’m sure they will deal with him rightfully
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Nobody: 11:33am On May 27, 2019
I think it is wrong to stay in a relationship that is base on deceit as for the nude pictures well just report him to the police, but for the family secret just tell him it was all lies.But na wa o you aren't even loyal to your family.
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by bukatyne(f): 12:09pm On May 27, 2019
SweetBuns:

I knew idiots like you would like to quote me for cheap "likes".
When sex goes wrong, why do the females have to bear the brunt?
You put it out as if she was the one who took the camera and snapped the pics. Was she the one? No!
It was one sick MAN ,a childish bastard who doesn't understand that sex is a secret and intimate act that must not be put in record. So how is it her fault? Did you know if the poor lady knew about the videos or not?? You're bearing false witness on something you don't know! Disgusting!!!!
Its clear that you can't reason beyond your nose before thinking of the " likes" you will have. Slowpoke angry

Don't make the girl look more stupid than necessary.

A man who his not your husband records sex videos of you and you let him?

@OP: weigh the risk of staying or leaving and shoot your shot.

You can also explore telling your family so they threaten him and you can leave.

However, I am curious: why doesn't he want to let you go? Why is he using all the weapons in his arsenal to ensure he keeps you?

Cc: Missperplexity0
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by bukatyne(f): 12:11pm On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
i don't even have the heart to do that and moreover this secret is like to cause divorce between my parent and also tarnish my father reputation because he's a respectable priest and oversees our church headquarter

Omo, someone shouldn't have a child like you.
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by ThothHermes: 12:25pm On May 27, 2019
SweetBuns:

So because a lot of people have sextapes online, she should join the bandwagon? I wonder how some souls reason at times. Its her female pride and dignity that is on the on the line here angry

As for the OP, go to court and sue him for defamation of character. Not at that time, but charge a count that holds him responsible for any bad thing that happens to you after severing the cords of the relationship. After that, give him a restraining order to stay far away from you. If he breaks it, he gets arrested.

About your family secrets, thats a family and close friends matter. I won't put my mouth into it. But know that you made a big mistake for letting him know those secrets while fully knowing the kind of person he is
You no just get any sense at all sha.

Haba.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Missperplexity0(f): 12:40pm On May 27, 2019
bukatyne:


Don't make the girl look more stupid than necessary.

A man who his not your husband records sex videos of you and you let him?

@OP: weigh the risk of staying or leaving and shoot your shot.

You can also explore telling your family so they threaten him and you can leave.

However, I am curious: why doesn't he want to let you go? Why is he using all the weapons in his arsenal to ensure he keeps you?

Cc: Missperplexity0
thats what am baffled about too because he's always like if I don't have you, nobody will and this we've come a long way than to end it here, lemme set some things straight, I only made a clip that doesn't show my face, all the pictures and videos he showed me were either taken while I was asleep naked or coming out of the shower..... they are clips am not aware of
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by bukatyne(f): 12:46pm On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
thats what am baffled about too because he's always like if I don't have you, nobody will and this we've come a long way than to end it here, lemme set some things straight, I only made a clip that doesn't show my face, all the pictures and videos he showed me were either taken while I was asleep naked or coming out of the shower..... they are clips am not aware of

So the pictures are without your permission.

Ask him what he gains from the relationship. Or has he invested a lot? His 'we have come a long way to end this' suggests that.
Are you above his social status that he sees you as an achievement?
Dies he see you as a conquest?

I would assume that he is beating you because you do things he finds offensive.

Please note I am not holding brief for him. I am trying to get you to understand why he is holding on to the relationship.
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Dudeladude(m): 12:51pm On May 27, 2019
Ur nude pix or u both nude pix..
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Nobody: 1:22pm On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
I will try as much as possible to make this brief and clear(excuse my typos).
Met this guy while I was in my part 1 and we've been dating for a couple of years, the issue is, he's very possessive and overly jealous, restricted me from having male friends, I have to tell him everything and everywhere I want to go, snoops through my phone, read my chats and sometimes harasses my male callers, my last protest was met with series of slaps, everything I try to walk out of the relationship, he threatens to leak my nudes and tapes, also promised to leak my family secret I told him when the going was good..... I really need help and advises on how to leave the relationship because my heart is no longer there and am scared of calling his bluff
are you for real. you better cat walk from that relationship. a lot of people have died due to abusive relationship. in essence, what you are trying to say is that you value what the society says more than your own life
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by galadima77(m): 2:54pm On May 27, 2019
OP go to the nearest police station and report him...beg them and tell them everything...or push it further to CID and pray u find someone that listens. When they're done with him, he'd pray your paths never cross.

I trust my Naija police
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Biglittlelois(f): 2:54pm On May 27, 2019
I always tell ladies, if you want to have nudes or sex tapes, do not show your face, I repeat, do not show your face, but they won't listen, see one of the end result.
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Biglittlelois(f): 2:58pm On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
thats what am baffled about too because he's always like if I don't have you, nobody will and this we've come a long way than to end it here, lemme set some things straight, I only made a clip that doesn't show my face, all the pictures and videos he showed me were either taken while I was asleep naked or coming out of the shower..... they are clips am not aware of

And when he showed you what was your next reaction? Did you change it for him and delete the pictures and videos yourself? Obviously you didn't, pretty sure you were smiling when you saw yourself looking sexy and all, smh!!! Well follow some good advice here though.....
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by ImaIma1(f): 3:10pm On May 27, 2019
SweetBuns:

I knew idiots like you would like to quote me for cheap "likes".
When sex goes wrong, why do the females have to bear the brunt?
You put it out as if she was the one who took the camera and snapped the pics. Was she the one? No!
It was one sick MAN ,a childish bastard who doesn't understand that sex is a secret and intimate act that must not be put in record. So how is it her fault? Did you know if the poor lady knew about the videos or not?? You're bearing false witness on something you don't know! Disgusting!!!!
Its clear that you can't reason beyond your nose before thinking of the " likes" you will have. Slowpoke angry


She didn't take the pictures herself but she allowed it. I believe that when a person allows intimate pictures to be taken, nudes transferred, etc, they should be ready for the eventuality if things go sour.

Not everyone understands that sex should be secret. So it rests on us to take precautions and protect ourselves from future headache
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Missperplexity0(f): 3:11pm On May 27, 2019
bukatyne:


So the pictures are without your permission.

Ask him what he gains from the relationship. Or has he invested a lot? His 'we have come a long way to end this' suggests that.
Are you above his social status that he sees you as an achievement?
Dies he see you as a conquest?

I would assume that he is beating you because you do things he finds offensive.

Please note I am not holding brief for him. I am trying to get you to understand why he is holding on to the relationship.

is it a crime to go visit a male friend in his house with my two female siblings? is it a crime to have a male friend come visit me in my house with everyone around? is it a crime to discuss business proposition with a male friend in an open restaurant which I told him about myself before going?
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Missperplexity0(f): 3:13pm On May 27, 2019
Biglittlelois:


And when he showed you what was your next reaction? Did you change it for him and delete the pictures and videos yourself? Obviously you didn't, pretty sure you were smiling when you saw yourself looking sexy and all, smh!!! Well follow some good advice here though.....
i deleted them but he has them backed up and even renamed some of the files so I wouldn't code it......
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Deepfeel(m): 3:16pm On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
I will try as much as possible to make this brief and clear(excuse my typos).
Met this guy while I was in my part 1 and we've been dating for a couple of years, the issue is, he's very possessive and overly jealous, restricted me from having male friends, I have to tell him everything and everywhere I want to go, snoops through my phone, read my chats and sometimes harasses my male callers, my last protest was met with series of slaps, everything I try to walk out of the relationship, he threatens to leak my nudes and tapes, also promised to leak my family secret I told him when the going was good..... I really need help and advises on how to leave the relationship because my heart is no longer there and am scared of calling his bluff

In other words he made you his personal slave cause he has your nudes and sextapes , but a family secret is a family secret why review it the someone who's not family
You f*ck up big time girl, the only way out is to set him up and hold on to it, for a 50/50 negotiation
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by Bush2013: 3:19pm On May 27, 2019
Missperplexity0:
i deleted them but he has them backed up and even renamed some of the files so I wouldn't code it......
Are you a Dr or a medical students
Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by badadvice(f): 3:51pm On May 27, 2019
ebonyggurl:

Lolz...can death be slow and painless at the same time?
i'm not sure. But G.O.T says it can. grin

Re: How Do I Leave This Abusive Relationship by luvyaself95(m): 4:14pm On May 27, 2019
When you were doing all this you didn't think things might backfired Oponu omo ode..

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