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Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? (5857 Views)

Poll: After just one month of the relationship, he has already slapped me. And he is very strong physically. Should I give him another chance?

Yes: 9% (8 votes)
No.: 90% (76 votes)
This poll has ended

Signs Of A Potential Wife-Beater / Woman Beater - How To Know Them / What Do I Give My Boyfriend On His Birthday? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by BBoy3(m): 12:32am On May 12, 2007
Forgiveness is one thing another chance is another matter completely.

So YES forgive him for your sanity and peace of mind. YES until he breaks your head/neck you can give him all the chances you want.
Just a mth in2 the relatinship n the guy is already throwng u a back-hand cos of a phone call, while in his presence - He brought u in2 this world abi?  angry
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by soulpatrol(f): 3:14am On May 12, 2007
wonder catch me o sad
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by outlaws(m): 3:16am On May 12, 2007
cool
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by drrionelli(m): 9:56pm On May 12, 2007
There are times in this world when it's OK to be selfish.

Forgive him for your own sake. LEAVE him for your own sake, too!
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by LindaM1(f): 9:26am On May 18, 2007
Yesterday,I had lunch with my mother who told me something I never knew.  Two days before our family (mother & 5 siblings) fled Philadelphia, my father punched my mother in the eye.  She said he apologized and told her he would never do it again.  Well, he never punched her again.  Instead, the next day, he ground my mother's other eye into the carpet until it was black.  Now my mother had two black eyes.  My mother then wore shades to her job as a teacher at the elementary school.  And she lied when they asked what happened to her eyes.  She said she was mugged. The following day, my mother pulled all of us out of school, boarded a Greyhound bus, and that's how we came to live in Colorado.  That was 34 years ago.

realize that I shouldn't typecast all men, but my goodness, it seems to be getting worse these days.  Why do men have to beat up on women?  Why do they kill women instead of getting a divorce?  Why do they threaten and terrorize the kids?  What  is wrong with them?
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by viee(f): 9:32am On May 18, 2007
wow
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by moondust(m): 8:21pm On May 18, 2007
next time he tries it, gimme a call on this number and he'll never do it again-080, , , bla bla bla
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by soulpatrol(f): 12:14am On May 19, 2007
linda m. i feel you. sad that must've been tough for you, your mum and siblings. i really applaud her bravery. and it would make things easier if people would just learn from what others have been through.  no one deserves to be treated like a punching bag, no matter how long they've been married, how many kids theyve had etc. a lot of women realize this too late, and before you know it, they're laying in their graves. your life is yours and shouldn't be dictated by someone else. angry
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by LindaM1(f): 7:27am On May 21, 2007
i just have to be honest and say this is why i don't deal with men. i don't trust them. i don't want anything to do with anyone who feels SO insecure about themselves that they have to control and brutalize another person. and no gender bias here. i have been on this planet for 45 years and i know that it's not the women who perpetuate this problem. why do men beat women? to me it's no different than racism. there are some people who feel that others are inferior than they are, because of the color of their skin, and so they feel justified when they demean them, abuse them and deny them any privileges. why don't male abusers see this correlation?
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by SisiEko1(f): 2:24pm On Oct 19, 2007
undecided If u want to keep being a punching bag, mi dear u can forgive ur sorry ass boyfriend, And if not, JUST WALK ON BY, Its better to let it go while u can,
A Slap Today
Full Body Beating Tomorrow
!!
Havnt u heard of awful stories where people get beatings and they DIE, IMAO, Open ur eyes abeg.  shocked
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by ThoniaSlim(f): 2:35pm On Oct 19, 2007
@topic

Under no circumstances should a guy raise his hands against any lady. he slapped you once and he would do it again, its a progressive thing. don't surprised if he carries it further. i suggest you leave him alone.
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by claudia(f): 6:08pm On Oct 19, 2007
@ poster,

for heaven sake should you even ask?
if a man does not respect you enough to trust you and give you the benefit of the doubt but had started beating you in less than two month into a relationship( not that he is allowed to beat you at anytime o) then pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee leave him. the relationship is still new you will get over it

I will leave a man for two things:
1. If he beats me and
2. if he cheats on me

Ladies, we deserve some respect. Haba wetin we do men sef?
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by drrionelli(m): 10:03pm On Oct 19, 2007
Under no circumstances should a guy raise his hands against any lady. he slapped you once and he would do it again, its a progressive thing. don't surprised if he carries it further. i suggest you leave him alone.

Word, ThoniaSlim!

Remember, ladies--a leopard does not change its spots!
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by Nobody: 10:32pm On Oct 19, 2007
@ DeGlory: Get away from him, and fast. Men like that will always be sorry after the act, and beg for forgiveness, saying it'll never happen again.

And sadly, a lot of women will give them chance after chance, losing more self esteem each time they get beaten. Often with tragic results.

Get away from this violent beast, before he either maims you, or kills you! I know some posters asked for the full story, as to why he slapped you, but it's irrelevant! There's absolutely no justification for a man to raise his hand to a woman. It's just so wrong, you deserve better.
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by Nobody: 1:40am On Oct 20, 2007
@ topic
yeah give him a second chance to finish what he couldnt finish - kill you.
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by janami(f): 8:18am On Oct 20, 2007
Siena:

@ DeGlory: Get away from him, and fast. Men like that will always be sorry after the act, and beg for forgiveness, saying it'll never happen again.

And sadly, a lot of women will give them chance after chance, losing more self esteem each time they get beaten. Often with tragic results.

Get away from this violent beast, before he either maims you, or kills you! I know some posters asked for the full story, as to why he slapped you, but it's irrelevant! There's absolutely no justification for a man to raise his hand to a woman. It's just so wrong, you deserve better.

hey siena, u are right. he slaps u today, then he blows u tomorrow, then it is a lifetime of misery. men like that cannot change. their only saving grace is when they meet a woman that can match up to their strenght. it wld be difficult leaving him i know, but next time he blames it on the devil again, it might be too late for you
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by olafihan(m): 8:22am On Oct 20, 2007
whatever makes a guy to strike a lady goes 2 show he has lil cntrl over his emotion. though am always an advocate of a 2nd chance cos God himself is, but i want u 2 realise that u've just met the real him.(i.e the guy u are goin out with). so whatever u do bcareful because u might av to live with it 4 a real real long time. and blieve me i dont like separating fighting couples. It sucks. grin
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by Nwaka77: 7:01pm On Oct 21, 2007
Whatever you do, do not give him another chance. Have you not heard of situations where a man hits a woman once in the wrong place and she slumps and dies? If you cherish your life, you better run before it is too late. undecided
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by Ladytemi(f): 7:47pm On Oct 21, 2007
jackelony, regardless of what she did there is no reason, that any man should slap a woman. Since he is not that last man on earth why, will you stick around for the next time, that he decides to choke you or beat the hell out of you. Abeg ol' girl leave fast and don't look back. There are better men out there.
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by atilla(m): 2:15pm On Oct 22, 2007
Look girl, from the first time a man beats you , and you forgive him he WILL BEAT YOU AGAIN EVEN WORSE.

This guy is going to beat you sooner or later. leave while you still have a chance
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by NihilceM: 8:59pm On Oct 22, 2007
Jesus said "give him the other cheek"

Aren't you a xtian? follow the holy script.

On a more serious note:
This is guy isn't jealous but possessive and obsessive.
He might not really love you but he might not stand the thought of letting other guys approach you.
I don't consider the love of a possessive guy/girl to be real love.

Open your eyes!
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by nikkylolly(f): 11:08pm On Oct 23, 2007
say NO to domestic abuse!!!

if u give him one chance, b4 u realise it, he will be using his 30th chance. When do u say no?

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Any guy dat raises his hands to hit a lady is simply IRRESPONSIBLE

True love is neither possessive nor obsessive

Find ur own love. Goodluck!
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by drrionelli(m): 12:27am On Oct 24, 2007
I can only wonder if the abuse wouldn't escalate until it was such that the woman didn't live to see a 30th time.

And, that's something that she shouldn't have to worry about.

I reiterate--LEAVE HIM! KICK HIM TO THE CURB! RUN--DO NOT WALK--RUN AWAY FROM HIM! DEVOTE YOUR TIME, EFFORTS AND ENERGIES TO SOMEBODY WHO IS WORTH THEM!

It's the least you can do as a matter of respecting yourself.
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by tulk2mi: 2:09pm On Jul 29, 2008
undecided undecidedn i wondered what happened to "every body deserves a second chance"

@ POST
4rm what u said, i am not surprised at the responses u got, i will be scared too but since u hv established dat u hv feelings 4 him, I will ask u 2 give him a 2nd chance, but b4 u do dat u can sit him down and make it absolutely clear that u wont stand 4 dat kind of behavior eva again. this will enable u crossed out the WHAT IF question u will be asking urself in d future if u dont GIVE HIM A 2ND CHANCE lipsrsealed
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by Gamine(f): 2:11pm On Jul 29, 2008
This is old.

but they r just dating! shocked

one month!!! shocked shocked shocked

There is no chance for Second chance here.
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by Baxilexi(m): 2:41pm On Jul 29, 2008
@topic, you should give him a scond chance the day after you've booked accomodation in a hospital. grin

seriously speaking, just take time out to deal with him,and get back together. smiley
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by Nobody: 3:15pm On Jul 29, 2008
@ topic

I hope you'll be alive to ask if you can give him a third chance!
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by Sisikill: 4:42pm On Jul 29, 2008
michelin89:

@ topic

I hope you'll be alive to ask if you can give him a third chance!

Rotflmao! Mean! Mean! Mean!

I like it!!! cool
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by suzzy16(f): 5:45pm On May 26, 2015
DeGlory:
What will u do if a guy u seeing for just a Month beat you up and later says he is sorry and that it was the devil that got him mad?

I am in this situation right now! I got a slap last night from ma so called boyfriend over nothing.

Now he is begging his Ass . What do you think? Should I forgive him?
1 month relationship,shege
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by suzzy16(f): 5:47pm On May 26, 2015
viee:
give him a chance?
you can if you really love him
however do remember to go for karate lessons before you do grin
lol
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by suzzy16(f): 5:50pm On May 26, 2015
Seun:
Giving him a second chance is not an option. The reason behind the slap doesn't matter..

If previous girlfriends had not forgiven him, he would not have slapped you. Don't even think about it.
The more you forgive an abuser, the more he becomes emboldened. Do not even dream of forgiving him.

You don't have to insult him or provoke him further. Just cut him off completely. He will learn in a decade or two.
yes
Re: Should I Give This Woman Beater A Second Chance? by suzzy16(f): 5:55pm On May 26, 2015
if he hits you once and u accept his apologies,his definitely goin to hit you again, then comes anoda round of apologies, belive me its never goin to stop, u need to get as far away from him as possible before he uses to act rocky 7, good luck
yes,they never change

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