ake A Hint, Not A Sample
COMEUPPANCE, COWORKERS, EXTRA STUPID, GROCERY STORE, HARASSMENT, USA | | ROMANTIC | JULY 2, 2019
(I hand out samples at a grocery store. There is an undercover security officer who always comes by and hits on me, despite the numerous times I’ve told him I am not interested. Today, the store is super busy but nobody seems to want any of my samples. Then, I see him coming.)
Security: “Hey, you. How’s it going?”
Me: *annoyed* “Fine.”
Security: “Oh, don’t be sad. I’m here. You need a hug?” *opens his arms*
Me: “No.”
Security: “How about a smile? Science says you’ll feel better if you smile.”
Me: “No.”
Security: *picking up a sample cup* “That’s okay. You’re still pretty even when you’re mad.”
Me: *silent*
Security: “I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I’m starving! Are these candies or antacids or something? Berry flavored, right?”
Me: *glances at the bottle on the table* “They’re actually—“
Security: “So, lots of customers today?” *takes another sample cup*
Me: “No.”
Security: “Who could walk by you and not want to say hi?”
Me: *shrugs*
Security: “I’d spend all day here if I could.” *takes two more samples*
Me: *silent*
Security: “But I was also thinking about dinner and a movie tonight.” *takes another sample* “What do you think?”
Me: “I think you just ate five fiber tablets on an empty stomach.” *points to the bottle on the table*
(He looked panicked for a minute, then walked away without another word. I heard from one of the store employees that he spent quite a while in the bathroom that day.)