Pls I really need Ur advice.ive been married for 12 years to a man who drinks excessively and destroys our property including our cars,makes my kids mock him.he doesn't contribute to the house or kids education normally,disappears from the house when he has money and comes back when he's broke.am honestly tired and had to go overseas to help support my family.while I was away he couldn't pay his rent and was evicted.i had sent him money to pack and leave to my father's hotel where he would be given a room until he can get on his feet.he collected the money but decided to stay with a friend.now he has been thrown out of his friend's house for failure to contribute to the utility bills.ive asked him to ask my father for a room in his hotel which he has refused instead went to lodge in another hotel.im trying to help him but he doesn't have and doesn't want.now am back to take my kids with me since he couldn't help me take care of them for the years I was away.i can't commit any money to him because he's very wasteful,doesn't plan.just very proud to ask from help from people that will help him.i personally paid for his passport to travel and he's not making any attempt he prefers me to be oversea making money for the family.i can't keep up with him my kids are growing and am thinking of walking away from him but am skeptical about what his family will say or people will think.they think all the money comes from him but it's me it comes from.am tired of helping a man who is lazy and doesn't want to help his self.

Odiegwu

Did you listen to your self very well or you are telling us a story ❓

What is your business with such a a lazy and wasteful man ❓

I won't blame you for marrying him because you may have not known that he is like that

But I will blame you for pouring water inside a basket knowing fully well that it can't hold water

You are the main reason that man is still behaving the way he is because he knows that you will still provide for him

The earlier you start seeing yourself as a single mother to your kids, the best for you

Start planning for those kids and yourself, leave him alone he will sort himself out

Such a ma will not allow you to progress because he is a PHD
(pull her down syndrome)

Just inform his family that you are tired of backing him because the journey is too far

Relocate and leave a normal life

There are more serious and committed people out there and you need to be loved

Thanks advice recieved

You've spoken so little of the reason he doesn't work and when he changed or if he has been like that all along.
Without much ado about nothing, the way forward is just to protect your kids from him by withdrawing them and solicit to his family to take care of him.
I do not know if you still do love him. You might need to find someone that he WOULD ALWAYS LISTEN TO and have a table discussion so they can talk sense into him. Not many men would like their marriage affairs being known to the world but it appears this has gone beyond being hidden.

Lastly, you need to surround yourself with neutral thoughts. Your friends may poison your mind at this challenging time because all they'll push for is separation. Try to find a women right group and join them. Narrate your ideal and watch the steps ahead.. They'll have councillors too. You need to have a good time with a councillor or two.