There is this thing called crowd mentality that is pervasive in Nigeria and is usually associated with poverty. It has similar characteristics with peer pressure but differs. The truth is bitter but in our society the desperation is so much. Go to church and see the pastors' ministering, "you will get a good husband is usually their starting prayer" and the ladies will just be crying to the lord in diverse ways and means. The ratio of women to men too is not helping matters, simple laws of demand and supply.

Because they need to bear children before menopause.

@Tink sh. Even if you are not married, I know you still desire men.

because they are fading away.

Brownteeth:

@Tink sh. Even if you are not married, I know you still desire men.

Of course i still desire men, I love men but i am not interested in hooking one for marriage and my culture doesnt look down on me or see me as less of a person because i dont have a ring on my left hand. I was married, have no plans to do it again. Only planned on getting married once and once only. I do have self control,

^^Do share some of your experiences. What areas in your marriage do you thing you or your husband (ex?) could have done better?

:d

The problem we have is that most woman are jst lazy in the head. Ther can not afford to fend for themselfs and ther family that is why ther think it up in ther lazy minds that marrage is the greatest achievement on earth.

I, as a man is against this institution called marrage, I tell you everybody must not marry, Marrage is not the basics of life,be you male or female. For the female you can only feel the societal pressure when you do not make your self somebody in life.

The ladies please and please lets not zero our mind in the so called tradition of marrage which when i see what pple are going through in the name of marrage i pity them. Go to school,graduate with good grades and make your self a value to the society and you will see many men running to ur fit.

Dont depend on any man in the name of marrage, My uncle once in my presence called her wife a golddigger and i was like what!!! The !!! Bleep!!!.

Marrage is not the main thing,put ur head up. I have a cousin is has 2 children. One with her husband and the other with another man. The woman is a profersor of micro biology in university of Nigeria nsukka. The 2 children one is amedical doctor and the other a navy captain,she is the happiest living woman that i ve seen. She told me that getting married was the worst thing she did in life.

Girls you can live a fulfilled life with or without a husdand jst stop been lazy, You can become a value to our society

Are we really desperate to get married? I don't know about other women I can only speak for myself, I am not desperate to get married. I honestly enjoy being single, I enjoy sharing a flat with my friend, paying my own bills etc etc

My core values are self sufficiency and independence, I grew up with a strong sense of these values and from the time I left school six years ago I have been driven by the desire to work hard and just take good care of my parents before I lose anyone of them. Marriage is often the last thing on my mind because I am practically consumed by the desire to cater for my folks.

In all sincereity (without any pretence) I haven't felt the need or that yearning desire to be married. I remember a conversation I once had with a male friend during my 4th year in school (I studied a 5 year course) he asked me when i would like to get married and I said to him that I didn't feel the need or desire to be married. He claimed I was only saying that because I was still young and in my early twenties BUT GUESS WHAT its been 5 years now and I still feel the same way I did the day we had that conversation.

Now the popular notion, is that the older we (women) get the more desperate we become, but I have grown older and my feelings haven't changed about marriage. Whether it happens or not my life goes on, I feel content and good about being single and I am not actively looking to be hooked or to become attached to any man. I know some of you here will say that when I hit my middle or late thirties I will become desperate. Don't know about that, but i will enjoy being single

Not everyone is crazy about marriage, I am not even sure i want to have kids of my own. But I love kids especially at their toddler age and i have no qualms with adoption. I am an African and Nigerian woman who is not easily influenced by western culture so don't think this is another black sister with western upbringing this is just my honest thought and feeling about marriage.

^^^^ But in the actual sense of it, dont you think your parents will be happier when you are married and give them grand children, in your write up it seems you are keen to always put smile on their(your parents) face so why not getting married? Be truthful, has your mum been complaining? Again, are you in a relationship?

Desperate to get married? No, not all women are desperate to get married.  There are many women who can hold their own down and stomp with the big dogs.  However, I can only speak for myself.  I'm about to take you to church on this. Marriage began with Adam and Eve and it's also in the ten commandments. I bet more men would opt to get married if people lived by the bible and did not fornicate or commit adultry. Just think, if we kept God's commandments, there wouldn't be all these diseases running wild and chaos/pressure about sex.

Again, this is my opinion.

livedit:

Desperate to get married? No, not all women are desperate to get married.  There are many women who can hold their own down and stomp with the big dogs.  However, I can only speak for myself.  I'm about to take you to church on this. Marriage began with Adam and Eve and it's also in the ten commandments. I bet more men would opt to get married if people lived by the bible and did not fornicate or commit adultry. Just think, if we kept God's commandments, there wouldn't be all these diseases and chaos/pressure about sex.

Again, this is my opinion.

Are you married or single?

madoba:

Are we really desperate to get married? I don't know about other women I can only speak for myself, I am not desperate to get married. I honestly enjoy being single, I enjoy sharing a flat with my friend, paying my own bills etc etc

My core values are self sufficiency and independence, I grew up with a strong sense of these values and from the time I left school six years ago I have been driven by the desire to work hard and just take good care of my parents before I lose anyone of them. Marriage is often the last thing on my mind because I am practically consumed by the desire to cater for my folks.

In all sincereity (without any pretence) I haven't felt the need or that yearning desire to be married. I remember a conversation I once had with a male friend during my 4th year in school (I studied a 5 year course) he asked me when i would like to get married and I said to him that I didn't feel the need or desire to be married. He claimed I was only saying that because I was still young and in my early twenties BUT GUESS WHAT its been 5 years now and I still feel the same way I did the day we had that conversation.

Now the popular notion, is that the older we (women) get the more desperate we become, but I have grown older and my feelings haven't changed about marriage. Whether it happens or not my life goes on, I feel content and good about being single and I am not actively looking to be hooked or to become attached to any man. I know some of you here will say that when I hit my middle or late thirties I will become desperate. Don't know about that, but i will enjoy being single

Not everyone is crazy about marriage, I am not even sure i want to have kids of my own. But I love kids especially at their toddler age and i have no qualms with adoption. I am an African and Nigerian woman who is not easily influenced by western culture so don't think this is another black sister with western upbringing this is just my honest thought and feeling about marriage.

Another consequence of too much of Oprah winfrey show

Because we live in a society where single ladies are nt respected. @poster, r u ok now?

Pressure (peer & cultural )brings eagerness which then translates into desperation.

Why Are Girls Desperate To Get Married? Bro, aint nigerian womens supose to be desparate for marrry?

@ High_Chief, I am not in a relationship at the moment and my mum hasn't complained to me about my lack of a husband, I won't even give her the time of day to do that (because that is how the pressure starts), secondly she already has grand children from my elder sister and she will be getting another one from my immediate elder sister. Putting a smile on your parents face in their old age is not just about giving them grand children, it is a lot more than that. Recently my dad needed cash to sort out some issues he had and I was glad to provide the money, now how would a granchild have helped in a situation like that?

@ Nethacker, you obviously missed the last paragraph of my post where I said, I am African & Nigerian and I am not easily influenced by western culture, so what does Oprah Winfrey have to do with anything? I don't like the woman and I hardly watch her talk shows, because i am not certain what she is all about or what value system she subscribes to.

My dear Madoba, i love your type wella.

As a matter of fact, if all lady,s wil think of contributing to the society, making a real value of ther lifes,going out to do something with ther God giving brains and strength without siting on a place or going from one pastors house to the other in search of husband my dear this world will be a better place to live in.

I repeat MARRAGE is not everything, Girls take note. Left for me i wont get married. I can have a child from a woman whom i love so much but that institution called marrage gives me fever.

@Madoba
Whatever that rocks your boat dear, but we all know that for societal relevance for a woman especially in the part of the world where you are living a woman needs to be married before she would be deemed fit for such, so this tends to put unnecessary pressure to women. I read your comment with perfect understanding but I was only trying to let you know what is obtainable in the society(Africa) of the day.

@Ofido

Not just fever, but its too risky. I too, wouldnt want to enter such contract with a woman.

i think guys are sick for that unmannered way of viewing girls perspective. the question is why do guys fool themselves by deceiving girls in to marrying them with a sugar tongue.

For me,they ground old quick becos na agric they be now but for we men,@70,we still the go 10 round or what do you think guys

the statement that a woman is incomplete without a man is totally a grammatical error. God created adam first before eve!!!!!!! do we all know de implication of that?? no. it simply implies that a man cannot leave without a woman(incomplete). for instance, a man with one naira will always look for a woman to spend de one naira with, but a woman with one naira will like to eat it alone and still collect anoda from de man. so this shows a man 's inability to leave without a woman.

darkman200:

Are you married or single?

My apologies for the late reply darkman200. I'm single, engaged to become married.

there is always a natural tendency to be defensive when involved in certain issues in life. society and people around us will always shape what we do unless we have the courage to be viewed as old fashioned. if the society where i live sees nothing wrong in me walking nude, i will and it wont be a problem.
so why are girls desperate to get married? because for everything under the sun there is an appointed time, a time to be single and a time to be married. most importantly ladies have a race against time, and most often guys do the wooing.

OP.
Cause they want to settle the fugly thang ''between their legs'' with some one ''Maga'' after selling their market all over the world to different pple ''Sane and insane humans''  . . .(Metaphorically)

^^^Hater! . , . One them

florasindy:

i think guys are sick for that unmannered way of viewing girls perspective. the question is why do guys fool themselves by deceiving girls in to marrying them with a sugar tongue.

Why are the gurls so silly to the extent of believing ev'thing that comes out of our "Suger Tongue", ??