As a human, we all want to be liked and accepted. When someone doesn’t like you, it bruises your ego and self-confidence and the voice of self-criticism start running through your mind every minute – all in the hope of finding the answers that help make people like or accept you. ‘‘Why don’t they like me?’’ ‘‘Did I do something wrong?’’ ‘‘Weren’t I friendly enough?’’ ‘Am I too different”, etc. Thousands of questions tire you out and weaken yourself day by day till the point you decide to fit in the mold and please others to gain their approvals and acceptance. This could happen either at work, school and social settings or anywhere you are involved. Rather than being authentic and true to yourself, you try to be appealing to others by not speaking up what matter to you, acting like everyone around you, putting people’s needs first or going great length to avoid conflict or argument. At some points, pleasing people become your mission and their approvals are like drugs that make you euphoric and want more.

It’s always natural to want more of the thing that makes you feel good right? However, the more you rely on someone or something to make you feel confident and happy, the more you lose your independence and a strong sense of self. The consequence of shifting power to others and diminishing your own will be greater than you could imagine because it’s when you begin to lose control of your life and are easily manipulated.

‘‘A truly strong person doesn’t need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep’’
- Vernon Howard

We are all different in some way and that’s a part of what makes the world such a beautiful place. Life would be really boring to live if everything is the same and everybody is alike and thinks or acts in a certain way. That said, we still see that people tend to view what is different as something ugly and wrong in spite of the urge to embrace diversity around the world

Nowadays, it’s not unusual to see many people are pretending to be someone they are not in order to be accepted and socially included. As time goes by, it starts to look like a burden to them because no matter how they try, there is no way to stop disapprovals or rejections from others and the emotional exhaustion is always hard to bear. If you believe in you, love and accept yourself, and value your identity and uniqueness, you are in control of your happiness and success. The need to please others to obtain their approvals will soon no longer exist.

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

– Maya Angelou

Remember, everything in life comes with a price and being different is not an exemption. When you set yourself apart, your life path might be a bit rocky but in the end you gain more than what you have to lose.

1. YOUR CIRCLE DECREASES IN SIZE BUT INCREASES IN VALUE

When you stay true to yourself, there will be no pretending on your side. You comfortably speak up for what you believe in and confidently do things in your own way. Of course, people are normally judgmental and they might dislike you for your differences. They may even mock you for your way of doing things but you know what? You can never escape judgement or discrimination but how you react to it that matters most. What they think of you doesn’t matter as long as you are doing the right thing and you are happy with what you do. When you value yourself and your time, you will not waste it to please others. Who understand you and value you will always stand by your side no matter how different you are. For those who don’t, simply let them go. Getting rid of those people will reduce the size of your network but will let you realize who your best friends are. Quality always beats quantity.

‘‘Having few true friends is better than having a large network of pretentious friends. Quality beats quantity all the time.’’
- Hussein Nisbab

2. GET THE RESPECT YOU DESERVE

Believe it or not, nobody respects those who don’t respect themselves. When you are not comfortable in your own skin, you tend to blend in the background, value others’ opinions more than your own point of view. You also try hard to impress others by acting like them, agreeing with what they say and second-guessing yourself when they disagree with you. Your approval-seeking behaviors might make you think that people will like and accept you more. Unfortunately, it’s often opposite. Just because people agree with you on something or laugh at your jokes doesn’t mean they like you. Even worse, at the back of their mind, they might disrespect you because your behaviors only show your insecurity and low self-esteem.

In order to shift what people think of you, it must start with you and the way you treat yourself. When you break out of your shell and dare to stand out, you accept the reality that not everyone will get on with you and that’s ok. Keep in mind that ducks fly in flocks and eagles always fly alone and you’d better be alone than being with those who hinder your progress.

‘‘Don’t lower your expectations to fit into the world. You were born to stand out’’
- Srijita Datta

The moments you recognize yourself as a special individual, you start allowing yourself to raise your voice and stand up for what you believe. You stop doing things that you don’t want to. When you demonstrate your authenticity, decisiveness, and boldness, people might still dislike you but they will have to respect you for the qualities that you have.

3. SUCCESS IS IN YOUR HANDS

Being different gives you a huge leg up. You have more courage to follow your own path with a fair amount of confidence. Instead of following the well-worn path, you dare to take risks and try new things with energy and passion. While people run away from obstacles, you embrace them as if they are fabulous opportunities for you to grow and thrive. To you, the fear of boredom and being unsuccessful is bigger than the fear of being rejected or unaccepted. Your focus in life is more on you and your goals than what people think of you or whether they accept you or not. With this mindset and quality, your path to success is absolutely in your hands and you will achieve whatever you want in life.

“The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.”
– Albert Einstein

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