₦airaland Forum

We're actually just settling from an issue.
Thanks for your input.

issylarry:
U guys sound like u r still yet to understand each oda,no affectionate..d relationship is dry,as a lady ,u need to water d relationship

I'll be sure to think about that.
Thank you very much.

kingkakaone:
Sister please be careful, I don't see a future in this relationship. The future is bleak plus he may be the controlling type after marriage if eventually it ends there.

Be logical about things in the relationship instead of being emotional.

He hung up in the morning and was waiting for you to call in the evening?
I don't the full story to point out where you both are wrong

But with his monosyllable reply you are the one dating him. Girl he isn't dating you. 4 years isn't joke and it might be hard but girl you got to move on that guy doesn'r loves you
And in your next relationship try to be open and free with your boyfriend.

from the time stamps on your chats.. the guy replies almost immediately.. but it takes you time to reply. maybe he is feeling you dont have his time anymore, or maybe you are seeing someone else. and for you to have asked him for moni, even saying he should loan it to you, and u den deleted. I think he feels insulted, plus he is angry with you but doesn't want to say it. just loosen up. A guy that doesn't want you will not even reply at all.

AwkaetitiBabe:
My dear I tire. The relationship lacks depth. She deserves a guy who will treat her better and she too got to treat the guy good.

From what I saw there she doesn't have any issues, the guy doesn't respect her or value her emotions.
I believe the sister would be hurting from those things the sent. She even tried to make things fun but the guy was having no of it, he was just hell bent on expressing his trend of negative replies to her.

If we are being sincere in analyzing the chat, I don't think anyone should doubt the fact that the brother doesn't need the sister anymore.

Damolaaa:
You don't seem to understand. I've never asked him for money. That's why it's difficult to ask him now. He was sort of my last resort.
I sent him a message:
Me: can I ask you for something.
Me: *deletes
Just that he saw it before I deleted it back.

how long is this relationship??

Yuneehk:
I hope the guys can see. Ladies only give you one word replies when they're not into you. This one loves her man and kept typing her "epistles" while the guy could only reply like he's been forced.
One person isn't feeling the relationship anylonger. You either leave, and wait for the love you deserve OR you stay, take whatever crumbs of attention is thrown at you, and keep hoping someday that a positive change happens.

crap.. there wasn't much to say that's why his post weren't much.. besides he typed sentences not monologues like you girls do when you're fronting..
this isn't about him not loving her or bullock

inshort you're cancelled.

2 broke wipes claiming to be in a relationship instead of reading their books and hustling..

Mtcheww

kingkakaone:
I can't verify the authenticity of this story but if it is true ten you are wicked.
How can you advise a female to continue in this mess called a relationship?
It is well.

There's no future in the relationship anymore, can't you see the way the guy replied her on everything? He even promised to make sure she dies of something.

She's not seen as a partner anymore.
I pity the sister.

You’re saying nonsense. You asslicking mofo

@op
The truth I see in all this is that your boyfriend isn't feeling your presence as a girlfriend at all.
Invariably, you are not doing stuff,he expects you to be doing.He telling you *SeX* is all he gets,should have told you,he wants more from you other than sex.

Your relationship only survived this far because it is long distant.

You have more work to do girl if you want the SHIP to keep sailing.Show him supports, care,love etc.


You won't even need to ask him money like an outsider.it is a relationship.

How many times have you gotten him stuff from your personal money?
Prayed for him?
Listened to him talk about work,while you share yours too?
Let the intimacy not just be in the roon

Be companions not team mates..

Damolaaa:
We've been dating for 4 years plus now. Long distance.
We've had several issues in the past but the below chats is what I need help with.
I just want to know what I said wrong to deserve what he said to me.

I've highlighted one of the problems....also you guys are cheating on each other so

At Op... Can u just tell me one quality that makes u my gf aside the sexual part?
This question is big. But I see it in the positive part. Aside sex, ur bf is a provider. Not totally though. But I think he wants u to see him in that light too. He feels if u had, u would have asked him for the money. Sometimes chats isn't the best way to pass a msg. One can be misunderstood. I'm saying this cos he seems to think you've got some ego. He wanted u to list ur quality as his gf n he helped u to list 1. Sex..... Use ur head bae n list the rest. Then lastly come down a bit. U both are acting as boss. One person has to come down for the other.
I hope this helps.

PrimadonnaO:
Errmm... Am I the only one who seems to have a different understanding of what the conversation was all about?

First off, his curt replies were uncool... until I read further and saw that he was already pissed about what you did.

From the conversation, I deduce that your boyfriend's grouse with you is that you don't seem free enough with him.

I mean, you're his girlfriend...y'all have been together for four years, so he expects that at this stage you should be super comfy with him... free to say or ask anything of him. Instead you're still acting all guarded and formal. Just look at all your analysis before... barely because you want to ask him for money.

He sees it as pride... and it sees it as you failing to recognise what you are to him...and to act accordingly.

Interestingly, I think I'm like you in certain ways. I really find it difficult to ask. I can whine for Africa, but to outrightly ask? Big deal.

Your head correct! 2 bottles of Heineken for you

Damolaaa:
We've been dating for 4 years plus now. Long distance.
We've had several issues in the past but the below chats is what I need help with.
I just want to know what I said wrong to deserve what he said to me.

OP forget all these dudes saying his this and that! All lies! OP the only problem here is a simple but very deep apology! I read all of your messages and I couldn't find a simple sorry from you knowing he was angry! That's what he meant by you behaving this way when you've done wrong and you having pride. OP apologize deeply! Learn to apologize and cut the long story short. It'll really help you. If you wrote these kind of things to me when I'm angry, I'll just laugh and let go of the issues because I understand your sense of humor. I understand what you're trying to pull here. You do not want a fight but yet you're not apologising. Instead you are using your sense of humor to make him laugh and forget about the issues. I understand. If it was me I'd laugh it off and forgive you but not everyone understands it that way or accepts humor as an apology. He needs you to apologize sincerely, that's all. That's the reason he said you have pride. OP apologize sincerely. He's your king.

Starz825:
Really.. this your English too much
But one thing abt life is nobody is perfect...
The guy dey feel say u like money too much over every other things...like he has noticed that overtime....
I will advice u get a job and try not to demand anything from him not even a loan...be yourself and try to add some value to his life (one of the reasons for his Lamentation)...but if u think u have been doing that before...it means the guy is seeing another lady and wants to move on...
Therefore, if u do think u still like this guy...make sure u ain't getting anymoney from him and see aw he reacts

Stop sugar quoting, she likes money jor. Most chicks are never direct in expressing themselves like we're mind readers

Sadly similar incidence happend to myself. The relationship with the girl didnt work though the fault was mine. Dont know what She does wrong, wouldn't feel ecstatic about the whole ish after the sugar strived to make us work. I feel sorry. Hope she heals amd finds a better heartthrob0

Aaaaarghmed:
both of them have egos,they are making the relationship hard for themselves.Relationship should be simple not complicated the way u guys are indirectly firing shots at each other.

Somebody is finally seeing my angle. As I read the comments, I think it's more of an ego thing on both sides. When it's totally not a bad idea to have some amount of aggrandised ego, it's a complete no-no if it is coming from both parties in a relationship. Your house will look more like a court room than a bedroom.

I have it! Lots of it . If my man dares to hang up on me, no be me go call am again. I like you, I'm into the relationship but don't take me for granted. Excuse yourself politely if you must go away.

Now Damolaaa, many people here have told you the truth, your man has little or no respect for you, can you deal with that? You ask for money, trouble. You didn't ask for money, you are proud. I don't ask for money too. As my man, you should be sensitive to my needs and just fill the gap at your convenience. Your chat here is insinuating you will be the no nonsense type. I commend you for that. Nkan ti Eyan o ba ni gba l'olowo, talika lo ti n ko. My take is if you'll go on with this your affair, you have to shake the table, scatter it and rearrange it. The two of you should revisit your values, likes and dislikes, hopes, desires, aspirations. Check where you corroborate each other, if there are differences, see if there's a pont of convergence. And if all of these is too much trouble, my dear just walk away. I'm cognisant of the fact that you've dated for four solid years but a failed relationship is always better than a failed marriage. Sweetheart, I want you to get it right.

.

All these love scammers masquerading as girlfriend.
Whether it takes you 4hours or 4years to ask for money. Guy asked you a valid question na, what else do you offer apart from sex?
Loan kee your ass there. Like you ever intended to pay back. Better go find work do.

Damolaaa:
We've been dating for 4 years plus now. Long distance.
We've had several issues in the past but the below chats is what I need help with.
I just want to know what I said wrong to deserve what he said to me.

It will be quite sad if a relationship of 4 years is destroyed because of 'advice' gotten from strangers on an anonymous forum. I'm sure if you had asked him what you said wrong just like you asked here on NL, you'd get the best answer.

Also, the fact that almost everyone is telling you to quit shows how easier it is to destroy than to build.


Finally, I think Primadonna is right. As another guy pointed out, if the guy no send you, he won't bother replying you.

Men get emotional when in Love, more emotional than women even and that's why they act like little girls.

Even your chat with ur so called byfrnd is too official..Big big grammar everywhere

[s]

Sukueponmalu:
You’re saying nonsense. You asslicking mofo

[/s]

AwkaetitiBabe:
Too many shots fired. This una relationship eh

I see money is even the suspect here. Op try to be more romantic and supportive of your bf and tell him straight up when you need assistance. This ur indirect way of asking for money is funny.

Pls try to have ur own money o so he doesn't feel you have just sex to offer like he said initially.

honestly, I was like shes trying to get something from the guy the way she was typing the epistle. Honestly, coming out straight won't make the guy go defensive

femi4:
honestly, I was like shes trying to get something from the guy the way she was typing the epistle. Honestly, coming out straight won't make the guy go defensive

Yea

Put this your energy on something productive. Two of you look to have different temperament. Your bf seems to be melancholic while you seem to be choleric. you need to establish a common ground to settle your differences. It is sad both of you think you are in a relationship but you are not. What is happening between two of you is pure cupboard love.

Damolaaa:
We've been dating for 4 years plus now. Long distance.
We've had several issues in the past but the below chats is what I need help with.
I just want to know what I said wrong to deserve what he said to me.

You're chatting with him like a friend..so he doesn't see you like a future partner

I will advice you look for a man that you will respect not this one you're talking to like your mate or your younger brother

Damolaaa:
You actually do understand what is happening.
What pissed him off was that I told him I wanted to ask him for something and I said he shouldn't worry about it anymore.

The thing is I've never had to ask him for money. He also has never had to give me any money.
I just don't think he should have said that. To me, it was not about that anymore.

Why are you so formal with your man after 4years?

If you have needs you think he can solve ask him. If he is incapable he'll let you know.

No man is an Island.

Respect your man... when you respect your man by submitting to his authority and having good open communication with him, you'll get loved and respected in return.

You're giving that guy signs that your heart is not in the relationship... When a guy senses this, they feel disrespected and show you the opposite of love.

I won't be surprised if you keep lots of male friends and have tons asking you out with you goading them on probably cos of what you're benefiting from them.

Dear sister, please develop yourself and submit to one man and settle down so you can find happiness in life and marriage.

Then stop playing mind games with your guy... It's what's obvious in the chat... Not everyone likes it and your bf doesn't.

If you follow this advice and the guy doesn't propose by January next year, please move on.

1. Respect him and submit to him
2. Communicate well and quit mind games
3. Develop yourself, make your own money and quit asking him unless he voluntarily offers.

Best of luck

This chat is very official... Grammar everywhere.
I think, he feels you're too uptight.
But I also think, the attitude and vibe he was giving out, was somehow.

Damolaaa:
We've been dating for 4 years plus now. Long distance.
We've had several issues in the past but the below chats is what I need help with.
I just want to know what I said wrong to deserve what he said to me.

u did well. I have one like this on that cares much about money instead of love. I have officially baptizes her as a call girl and not girl friend.

Okay. Seen. so your ATM is about breaking up with you.

We have see it that you are Single and free