Good afternoon Nairaland Family.
I created this account because of this...

I need your advice... I'm in love with someone but I want to get married to another.
I've been with the one I'm in love with, for the 3years. We got to know each other at my niece's wedding in April 2016.(though we didn't start immediately) I traveled back to my State of PA after the wedding. We started talking July after I lost my dad. After my service year, in January I went back to where he stays, to stay with my sister while looking for job. We We were so much in love that everyone in that area, both his mum, my sis knew about us. He was everything to me. After staying almost a year without getting a job, in Nov 217 I decided to go back to my base, to continue job search. He visited me Feb 2018 and left, promised he would come back to me. Before leaving we had planned how we would get married in Oct 2018, but immediately he left he forgot our plan, he changed. We didn't get to see again till May 2018 when I went to Ibadan for an interview, I had to go see him, I've not seen him again till now...

He used to be a loving, caring and understanding guy, but all that changed all of a sudden. He wouldn't call, he wouldn't return my calls, no chat, no message, I would send him messages and he wouldn't reply. One day I called and asked why he was doing all that, cried bitterly, got angry; deleted his no, unfriend him on FB, unfollowed him on Instagram. He begged and promised he would change. I forgave him and we continued.
He doesn't want to change... He still makes me believe he loves me and can't live without me in his life(I know he could be lying but my heart doesn't want to accept that). Now, he treats me well this day, then act like I never exist another time.

Dec last year, I was introduced to a guy from my place, this guy has everything thing a lady would want in a man. He's so gentle and caring, always check up on and makes me feel special, loved and beautiful. He calls me more than 6 times a day, yet my heart is somewhere else.
He's shown me to almost all his family members, our introduction has been fixed to hold this Dec, yet I'm...

The one my heart beats for, only calls me occasionally, doesn't chat with me, can't remember when last he sent a romantic message to me, but he's the one I want to spend my life with, but at the same time I'm scared of hurting this other guy that has planned our introduction and shown me to his family.
I'm really confused, this makes me cry everyday.

The person I love doesn't deserve me yet my heart wants him.
I really don't know what to do...
please pardon any typo, I'm really not myself as I type...

Babe free that innocent man they are other ladies that are looking for such men. If you break his heart other lady will suffer for it. But are you really okay ? Someone that didn't care about you that is who you are running after. Please share that other guys numbers because he does not deserve you. Allow nairaland lady to shoot their shot.

You see that one you say you are in love with ?you are in love with yourself because he has since moved on,If you lose your introduction this December because of him you'll suffer more than a market thief...face front and get married with time you'll forget him if you look back you'll regret it

I will advice you to go for the second guy,you will definitely learn to love him
I think the first guy isn't serious about the relationship,this is the kind of guy that will keep on apologizing bt will never change nd make you loose a serious guy.Nw that you have seen a perfect guy you shouldn't let go of him or you might regret it!!!

why hurting they innocent man when you don't love him, your ex has moved on, why can't you do the same.......

Emotions can be very funny, especially when you loved someone wholeheartedly, it might be difficult to unlove them.
But babe you need to cut off all ties and communication with you ex, you already have soft spot for him,the more you talk to him, feeling for him resurface, and you will find it very difficult to move on or love again.
Your ex doesn't love you anymore, don't let a good man go because of emotions, because even if you marry your ex by the time he starts maltreating you in the marriage your eyes will clear and feeling you have for him would have disappeared, by then you will be full of regrets because you would have lost a good man.

Here to read

vingeophysicist:
Babe free that innocent man they are other ladies that are looking for such men. If you break his heart other lady will suffer it. But are you really okay ? Someone that didn't care about you that is who you are running after. Please share that other guys numbers because he does not deserve you. Allow nairaland lady to shoot their shot.

He still calls me, though not often

subtlemee:
You see that one you say you are in love with ?you are in love with yourself because he has since moved on,If you lose your introduction this December because of him you'll suffer more than a market thief...face front and get married with time you'll forget him if you look back you'll regret it

He calls sometimes, he tells me he's till in love with...

Anyabeku:



The person I love doesn't deserve me yet my heart wants him.

You just haven't come to terms with your realities, not necessarily confused. You've been able to identify that the other guy has changed while knowing that this new one loves and treats you right. Have you ever successfully deprived it(Your heart) of what it wants? It's almost impossible when it craves for something even if that thing will lead to your death, it defies logic. The onion is on you to use your head, not your heart. Understanding that guys do the chasing initially-they love you first and with time they love you more, you reciprocate and by the time you love more; they're not as much in love as they were when you met. A few persons keep this at equilibrium. Whether he stopped loving you, or never, all of these are natural, so don't hate him or beat yourself. I am sure he didn't plan for it, but one thing is certain, he's seeing someone else. The pleading is his way of keeping you fooled while he keeps enjoying the attention he gets from you. Not only women love attention.

You'll move on completely when that your heart is tired. The more you get to know and understand the new guy provided he's cool, you'll eventually love him. All you need is time, but don't don't let him get the idea that you're still in love with the other one.

Pettyprincess:
I will advice you to go for the second guy,you will definitely learn to love him
I think the first guy isn't serious about the relationship,this is the kind of guy that will keep on apologizing bt will never change nd make you loose a serious guy.Nw that you have seen a perfect guy you shouldn't let go of him or you might regret it!!!

Thank you!

Baller93:
why hurting they innocent man when you don't love him, your ex has moved on, why can't you do the same.......

#Tears#.

akinade28:
Emotions can be very funny, especially when you loved someone wholeheartedly, it might be difficult to unlove them.
But babe you need to cut off all ties and communication with you ex, you already have soft spot for him,the more you talk to him, feeling for him resurface, and you will find it very difficult to move on or love again.
Your ex doesn't love you anymore, don't love a good man because of emotions, because even if you marry your ex by the time he starts maltreating you in the marriage your eyes will clear and feeling you have for him would have disappeared, by then you will be full of regrets because you would have lost a good man.

Exactly what my friend told me today.

Anyabeku:
Good afternoon Nairaland Family.
I created this account because of this...

I need your advice... I'm in love with someone but I want to get married to another.
I've been with the one I'm in love with, for the 3years. We got to know each other at my niece's wedding in April 2016.(though we didn't start immediately) I traveled back to my State of PA after the wedding. We started talking July after I lost my dad. After my service year, in January I went back to where he stays, to stay with my sister while looking for job. We We were so much in love that everyone in that area, both his mum, my sis knew about us. He was everything to me. After staying almost a year without getting a job, in Nov 217 I decided to go back to my base, to continue job search. He visited me Feb 2018 and left, promised he would come back to me. Before leaving we had planned how we would get married in Oct 2018, but immediately he left he forgot our plan, he changed. We didn't get to see again till May 2018 when I went to Ibadan for an interview, I had to go see him, I've not seen him again till now...

He used to be a loving, caring and understanding guy, but all that changed all of a sudden. He wouldn't call, he wouldn't return my calls, no chat, no message, I would send him messages and he wouldn't reply. One day I called and asked why he was doing all that, cried bitterly, got angry; deleted his no, unfriend him on FB, unfollowed him on Instagram. He begged and promised he would change. I forgave him and we continued.
He doesn't want to change... He still makes me believe he loves me and can't live without me in his life(I know he could be lying but my heart doesn't want to accept that). Now, he treats me well this day, then act like I never exist another time.

Dec last year, I was introduced to a guy from my place, this guy has everything thing a lady would want in a man. He's so gentle and caring, always check up on and makes me feel special, loved and beautiful. He calls me more than 6 times a day, yet my heart is somewhere else.
He's shown me to almost all his family members, our introduction has been fixed to hold this Dec, yet I'm...

The one my heart beats for, only calls me occasionally, doesn't chat with me, can't remember when last he sent a romantic message to me, but he's the one I want to spend my life with, but at the same time I'm scared of hurting this other guy that has planned our introduction and shown me to his family.
I'm really confused, this makes me cry everyday.

The person I love doesn't deserve me yet my heart wants him.
I really don't know what to do...
please pardon any typo, I'm really not myself as I type...

Am a man and would be honest the best way I can. Though calls and messages may be limited due to financial or work circumstances its obvious he's playing the push and wait game with you. He's bored already and he moved on. The only reason he calls is because he won't like you to tell him you he broke your heart and his response will be I tried baby girl, I was busy but kept checking on you.

Learn to live your new man and cut, I repeat cut all contact with your suppose ex. You deserve better. Good luck angel.

lol
dis woman
u funi o.
sombori dey ax say, wot do women want?
in ur case, u clearly want to keep chasing d carrot in ur front dts tied to ur back.
isok.
as ur family refuse to konk ur hed, shey?
keep waiting in vain, eh?
las las, u go dey oryt.

till u lose d 2 guys, b4 ur eye go clear.
abeg, mouna hide sniper 4 her area o!
smh

Confused Beings SMH.

GrabHisBalls:
You just haven't come to terms with your realities, not necessarily confused. You've been able to identify that the other guy has changed while knowing that this new one loves and treats you right. Have you ever successfully deprived it(Your heart) of what it wants? It's almost impossible when it craves for something even if that thing will lead to your death, it defies logic. The onion is on you to use your head, not your heart. Understanding that guys do the chasing initially-they love you first and with time they love you more, you reciprocate and by the time you love more; they're not as much in love as they were when you met. A few persons keep this at equilibrium. Whether he stopped loving you, or never, all of these are natural, so don't hate him or beat yourself. I am sure he didn't plan for it, but one thing is certain, he's seeing someone else. The pleading is his way of keeping you fooled while he keeps enjoying the attention he gets from you. Not only women love attention.

You'll move on completely when that your heart is tired. The more you get to know and understand the new guy provided he's cool, you'll eventually love him. All you need is time, but don't don't let him get the idea that you're still in love with the other one.

of course I know he has someone/persons he's seeing.
There was a night I called him severally, he didn't pick. At about few minutes past 4:00am, I got a call, a lady's voice I heard, said "hello" that was the end. She didn't say anything again, she dropped the call, I called back she didn't pick, sent her a message "who are you please?" no reply. My heart told me this must be from a lady who was with my man last night when I was calling, she wants to know who was calling 'her guy'. I saved the number. When this guy came to visit me last year January, I remembered that number, I pretended I didn't have airtime, I asked him to let me use his phone to call, lo and behold! a name popped up from his phone when I dialed the number, it was even on the call log that he called her while in my house. I confronted him and he begged and covered up with stories. I forgave him.

McEphiks:



Am a man and would be honest the best way I can. Though calls and messages may be limited due to financial or work circumstances its obvious he's playing the push and wait game with you. He's bored already and he moved on. The only reason he calls is because he won't like you to tell him you he broke your heart and his response will be I tried baby girl, I was busy but kept checking on you.

Learn to live your new man and cut, I repeat cut all contact with your suppose ex. You deserve better. Good luck angel.

#Tears# Thank you so much.

debaj10:
lol
dis woman
u funi o.
sombori dey ax say, wot do women want?
in ur case, u clearly want to keep chasing d carrot in ur front dts tied to ur back.
isok.
as ur family refuse to konk ur hed, shey?
keep waiting in vain, eh?
las las, u go dey oryt.

till u lose d 2 guys, b4 ur eye go clear.
abeg, mouna hide sniper 4 her area o!
smh

Lolz! If you were in my shoes, you would know how difficult it is to forget someone you genuinely love.

luvyaself95:
Confused Beings SMH.

Pray you never find yourself in this kind of situation.

I laugh when people make a feeble stew out of confusion, visceral impulse, delusion and utopia, then call it love with solemnity bereft of logic and practical coherence.


I would've loved to tell you that a bird in hand, is better than 5 in the bush, but I've this sinking pang in me, that tell me that anything being said here, will be akin to a swimmer swimming against the flow of turbulent current in your river of sentiment on this matter.

Anyabeku:


of course I know he has someone/persons he's seeing.
There was a night I called him severally, he didn't pick. At about few minutes past 4:00am, I got a call, a lady's voice I heard, said "hello" that was the end. She didn't say anything again, she dropped the call, I called back she didn't pick, sent her a message "who are you please?" no reply. My heart told me this must be from a lady who was with my man last night when I was calling, she wants to know who was calling 'her guy'. I saved the number. When this guy came to visit me last year January, I remembered that number, I pretended I didn't have airtime, I asked him to let me use his phone to call, lo and behold! a name popped up from his phone when I dialed the number, it was even on the call log that he called her while in my house. I confronted him and he begged and covered up with stories. I forgave him.

You had to forgive 'cause it was only normal you compromise since your heart craves for him. Read a lot online on how to move on. Such relationships are stressful and not good for your well being.

Close your heart and follow your heart

GrabHisBalls:
You had to forgive 'cause it was only normal you compromise since your heart craves for him. Read a lot online on how to move on. Such relationships are stressful and not good for your well being.

I appreciate!

A ''good'' bird in hand is better than a million on the tree. What makes you think that if you leave your fiance, that your ex who you love will take you back and love you genuinely? Even if you leave the second guy, and the ist guy also disappoints you, what makes you think you would find a better option? I ask because the qualities you have mentioned about this second guy, are good qualities ......... Be wise.

Some people are their own problems.

Ubunja is never wrong. Women are always attracted to those guys who treat them bad. This is a perfect example.

Forget about your ex and move on with your life, but if you can't do that then let this second guy go.
It would be unfair to proceed with him when you're still in love w/ your ex, plus it sounds like you could cheat
on him w/ your ex because he's the one you want to be w/ and you're not over him at all, so please do the right thing.

You should be where your heart is. The one you love. No matter how good someone can be if you don't love them you don't.
If you marry this one now, you will definetly cheat on him with the one you truly love.

The innocent guy doesn't deserve this.

Anyabeku:
Good afternoon Nairaland Family.
I created this account because of this...

I need your advice... I'm in love with someone but I want to get married to another.
I've been with the one I'm in love with, for the 3years. We got to know each other at my niece's wedding in April 2016.(though we didn't start immediately) I traveled back to my State of PA after the wedding. We started talking July after I lost my dad. After my service year, in January I went back to where he stays, to stay with my sister while looking for job. We We were so much in love that everyone in that area, both his mum, my sis knew about us. He was everything to me. After staying almost a year without getting a job, in Nov 217 I decided to go back to my base, to continue job search. He visited me Feb 2018 and left, promised he would come back to me. Before leaving we had planned how we would get married in Oct 2018, but immediately he left he forgot our plan, he changed. We didn't get to see again till May 2018 when I went to Ibadan for an interview, I had to go see him, I've not seen him again till now...

He used to be a loving, caring and understanding guy, but all that changed all of a sudden. He wouldn't call, he wouldn't return my calls, no chat, no message, I would send him messages and he wouldn't reply. One day I called and asked why he was doing all that, cried bitterly, got angry; deleted his no, unfriend him on FB, unfollowed him on Instagram. He begged and promised he would change. I forgave him and we continued.
He doesn't want to change... He still makes me believe he loves me and can't live without me in his life(I know he could be lying but my heart doesn't want to accept that). Now, he treats me well this day, then act like I never exist another time.

Dec last year, I was introduced to a guy from my place, this guy has everything thing a lady would want in a man. He's so gentle and caring, always check up on and makes me feel special, loved and beautiful. He calls me more than 6 times a day, yet my heart is somewhere else.
He's shown me to almost all his family members, our introduction has been fixed to hold this Dec, yet I'm...

The one my heart beats for, only calls me occasionally, doesn't chat with me, can't remember when last he sent a romantic message to me, but he's the one I want to spend my life with, but at the same time I'm scared of hurting this other guy that has planned our introduction and shown me to his family.
I'm really confused, this makes me cry everyday.

The person I love doesn't deserve me yet my heart wants him.
I really don't know what to do...
please pardon any typo, I'm really not myself as I type...

Busted I knew your second guy .

Kai see bad market

Didn't you say the first guy was very loving and caring at the initial stage?

What's the guarantee that this new guy will not exhibit the same traits? He is loving now. He could change later too.

I am not saying you should go for the first guy. I am just saying there are no guarantees with both.