Tehila07:
For my discovered, best gift to earn me money, my wife must agree with the job. But my wife has a job which is at Cross purposes with my job. I'm the biggest asset she needs for her business to flourish, and she is the only person that must agree to work with me in my line of interest. That means if I lend my expertise for her business, she will still be seen as the owner. If she agrees to be with me in my field, her business will go down.

After back and forth arguments, I have realized that heaven will rather fall, wife won't support my business to leave hers behind. If she doesn't support mine, I won't go far in the business; if I fully support hers, she will own the business.

We will need many years to build her business before it can support a family. My own is currently supporting the family. Does that mean I married a wrong person?

What seems like a solution is if I can find another job that won't affect her business. But the only thing I like most is what I'm doing currently.

The simplest mistake you could make is to sacrifice yours for hers............thats an honest trap

Keep talking sense to her to see reasons to support your business but yours and hers can be going together then no big deal.

GBAM!!

internationalman:
more like your business is under a lawsuit in your wife law firm as your wife the leading lawyer.

The case, if successful could propel her career to the top at the expense of you drowning in your own endeavors..

How about both of you quitting the marriage and focus on each of your businesses since obviously they are more important than holding down your marriage from your tone..

Tehila07:
For my discovered, best gift to earn me money, my wife must agree with the job. But my wife has a job which is at Cross purposes with my job. I'm the biggest asset she needs for her business to flourish, and she is the only person that must agree to work with me in my line of interest. That means if I lend my expertise for her business, she will still be seen as the owner. If she agrees to be with me in my field, her business will go down.

After back and forth arguments, I have realized that heaven will rather fall, wife won't support my business to leave hers behind. If she doesn't support mine, I won't go far in the business; if I fully support hers, she will own the business.

We will need many years to build her business before it can support a family. My own is currently supporting the family. Does that mean I married a wrong person?

What seems like a solution is if I can find another job that won't affect her business. But the only thing I like most is what I'm doing currently.

women are more selfish than you think

Tehila07:


She just doesn't like our church. For instance, will you expect someone from a church where prophets always tell them prophecies to like RCCG? But she said prophecies revealed I'm the one before she agreed to marry me.

Therefore she's married to you so she should like it...sorry I don't get..which one is don't like it...she has accepted the prophecy already...

I know i can't cope with pentecostal stuff myself that's why I won't follow anybody there...she's married to you so she has taken on your burden...

Anyway I have read some other responses, have you considered keeping on as a teacher in the school and gradually building a ministry as a second business? Maybe that one would be better since she says she will not follow you

Tehila07:


She was still visiting her church many times after marriage

So what exactly are you saying, did you discuss all this with her or not?

Did you marry in her church or your own?

To my knowledge she's supposed to follow you to your church unless you say otherwise, I don't understand your narrative...

midnighter:


So what exactly are you saying, did you discuss all this with her or not?

Did you marry in her church or your own?

To my knowledge she's supposed to follow you to your church unless you say otherwise, I don't understand your narrative...

We got married while I'm in my church.

It's better to start your own ministry, Oga. That is if you're really sure God and not money called you into the ministry.
And by the way, your family is your first ministry. If you fail at that, you may fail at pastoral ministry too. Your lifestyle, family and marriage is your loudest sermon.

Let your wife continue with her school business. Keep supporting her. She will in turn support your ministry with her whole heart. Kindness gives birth to kindness. If she doesn't support moving around, then I doubt you should be in a ministry that moves you around. God will convince her too or you know that's not for you. Open yours. You can start with a fellowship if she doesn't get conviction to move with you. God isn't an author of confusion. Pray and discuss together. Let God and love lead you guys.

Tehila07:


What seems like a solution is if I can find another job that won't affect her business. But the only thing I like most is what I'm doing currently.

if to say you sabi speak English well u and your wife no go get problem

Tehila07:


We got married while I'm in my church.

Please you guys have witnessed how many times I have asked this guy a crucial question...please help him, amaro m

Sterope:
What about her dreams? Both of them need to figure themselves out so that they can't blame each other if shit hits the roof

She's free to dream but her dream must align with the family's overall dream.

Very contradictory.
But first,
U were not clean with her.

To start a school is like starting a factory. So hard to just uproot it and start somewhere again.

There are so many expatriates who are pastors. Better than being a full time pastor for somebody else and starting new church isn't a joke.


Reach a compromise with her and let the school become jointly owned. I wonder why it's not so as u are part of the system already.
U can continue as part time pastor.
Not every woman is keen to answer pastors wife.

U sound so misogynistic.
Come down from that cloud that normally covers una eyes to see all wives as obediently submissive bc it's in the bible.

Pastorship is not a profession. Shouldn't be a profession.
Jesus was a fisherman.
Paul, a tent maker.

What is the family's overall dream? To globe trotting forming nice, wise and friendly to every dick and harry...what if that is not her. Who syas both dreams cannot can go hand in hand. It is left for both of them to sit and plan out their lives.

Thank you very much for diminishing someone else's dreams because she has got a vagina.

PHIPEX:
She's free to dream but her dream must align with the family's overall dream.

Exactly, being a religious leaders should not be a profession. It is an avenue to start indulging in unbecoming behaviours because you want to reach the top of the ladder.

Members can do without a 24/7 religious leaders.

sassysure:
Very contradictory.
But first,
U were not clean with her.

To start a school is like starting a factory. So hard to just uproot it and start somewhere again.

There are so many expatriates who are pastors. Better than being a full time pastor for somebody else and starting new church isn't a joke.


Reach a compromise with her and let the school become jointly owned. I wonder why it's not so as u are part of the system already.
U can continue as part time pastor.
Not every woman is keen to answer pastors wife.

U sound so misogynistic.
Come down from that cloud that normally covers una eyes to see all wives as obediently submissive bc it's in the bible.

Pastorship is not a profession. Shouldn't be a profession.
Jesus was a fisherman.
Paul, a tent maker.

faithfull18:
Don't even understand your writeup. And what is wrong if you support her and she owns the business

Coming from a woman. So am not surprised.

Tehila07:
For my discovered, best gift to earn me money, my wife must agree with the job. But my wife has a job which is at Cross purposes with my job. I'm the biggest asset she needs for her business to flourish, and she is the only person that must agree to work with me in my line of interest. That means if I lend my expertise for her business, she will still be seen as the owner. If she agrees to be with me in my field, her business will go down.

After back and forth arguments, I have realized that heaven will rather fall, wife won't support my business to leave hers behind. If she doesn't support mine, I won't go far in the business; if I fully support hers, she will own the business.

We will need many years to build her business before it can support a family. My own is currently supporting the family. Does that mean I married a wrong person?

What seems like a solution is if I can find another job that won't affect her business. But the only thing I like most is what I'm doing currently.

And you say she is selfish?

Why don't you leave what you love for the sake of your family too?

Chamladas:
Is it police and thief busines?

Why cant you support her business?
Why must she leave her business to support yours? God forbid if anything happens to either of you, won't your individual businesses survive without the other?
Please, there's nothing wrong in each of you facing your individual businesses and helping each other out when you are able to. Employ people that can help you with your business, and let your wife do same.
Why would you ask her to give up her career though?

OlawaleBammie:
God kuku knw say a no go wan marry wife way go give me headache.

My bible says wife should support her husband and d moment d wife is selfish in her dealings den knw dat she's after her growth alone in mindind whose detriment it is.

Its a good tin to invest in ur wife, infact dat is d best tin to do for her but women of nowadays want to achieve literally everything more dan u so dat dey can hav d upper hand, chior.

LasLas na village a stil dey go go marry a girl wey a go upgrade and respect, me no wan die young.

A woman achieving everything really has nothing to do with having an upper hand over her husband. Some of you men seem to have that false sense of importance and think everything is about you. The world doesnt revolve around the penis o. Do you know how stupid it sounds to say a man wants to achieve success so he can have an upper hand over his own wife?
There are many reasons to strive for success, and having an upper hand over a man is not one of it.

Tehila07:


I'm a pastor in one of the biggest churches in Nigeria. She started a school. Profit can't be in school business at the beginning. So I'm helping with teachers salary at times. But in ministry, if I'm transfered, she must follow me. Now the school is growing fast and she said she won't follow me if I'm transfered.

I've been a school teacher for years and I'm the academic backbone of the school.

I know of a school being manned by a married Muslim lady as far back as I can remember. The owner of the school lives abroad. I don't think that woman ever visits.

Although I'm sure the Muslim lady was 'chopping' part of the money but not in the way most school administrators do.

Also, she ran the school so well it grew in leaps and bounds.

If you guys can find an honest administrator to run the school ( by prayerfully searching) because I don't support a pastor and his wife being apart at all.

I believe the church is either redeem or winners and these churches pay their pastors well with accommodation.

If she is business savvy, as the mommy of the church she can colonize buying and selling activities there on Sundays.


Also, I know many part time pastors who are even more anointed than the full time ones. Maybe you can look at that angle.

That school is an asset you both can leave for your kids don't throw it away.

vivypretty:

you both are selfish and not fit to be in a marriage.
marriage is all about sacrifice and compromise which none of you is ready to give.
but didn't you guys talk about your different businesses before getting married or did you both start your different businesses after marriage?

Kindly check your profile, then read your comment again

faithfull18:
Don't even understand your writeup. And what is wrong if you support her and she owns the business

If he tries dat de man is finished. According to my mum pray dat ur wife shouldn't be de bread winner

subtlemee:
Both of you should leave the business and find fresh ones for peace to reign

you think before you open your mouth so?

faithfull18:
Don't even understand your writeup. And what is wrong if you support her and she owns the business

Her business will take more time to grow before it can make sense. His own is already making money for the family.

All she needs to do is come to his own side but no, she won’t.

OP, there is a way forward that would support you both. Try to find it.

TheStarsAlign:


Kindly check your profile, then read your comment again

lol. that's for me, who is not married and has no one my decision to make money will affect.

TechCapon:
Mr man ur speaking in parables. I can't decipher what you're saying

Meanwhile, I heard buhari went to united nations and fall hands, abeg who has link to the video?

�
with this comment, are you sure those people will push your topic to FP

OP which kain job you wan do, your post confuse person walai, hope no say you wan go commit fraud using your wife as proxy. Na joke I dey oo

Number one, as a Christian, I dislike the way you keep calling your call to ministry, a business. Two, why must your wife join you in ministry, when you were the only one called? Three, on the brighter side, the school can be an appendage of the ministry. Churches do it all the time. Irrespective of whether you're the G.O. or not, as long as it doesn't carry the name of the church.

You guys should reach a compromise, help her and she helps you. It shouldn't be that difficult. After all you are yet to be transferred.

However, the difficulty I sense here is the man not wanting the woman to "own the business", and I feel the woman is smart and correct enough not to succumb to his pressure.

We sometimes forget women have dreams too and want to thrive. Women can indeed be smarter than some men. So, instead of antagonism, why not support their dreams.

Why is it so difficult for you to understand that your wife is not interested in your "business"?

vickydevoka:

If he tries dat de man is finished. According to my mum pray dat ur wife shouldn't be de bread winner

Your mum is/was wrong! It all depends on the characters in marriage.

yeyeosoronga:


A woman achieving everything really has nothing to do with having an upper hand over her husband. Some of you men seem to have that false sense of importance and think everything is about you. The world doesnt revolve around the penis o. Do you know how stupid it sounds to say a man wants to achieve success so he can have an upper hand over his own wife?
There are many reasons stive for success, and having an upper hand over a man is not one of it.

Ehh!! yeyeosoronga biiti bawoo??

Ahhh if soo den courtesy demand my salutation oo.

yeye iba yin oo,

a never reach to look ur eye oo.

yeye i carry nyansh oo.

see your nyansh.

OlawaleBammie:


Ehh!! yeyeosoronga biiti bawoo??

Ahhh if soo den courtesy demand my salutation oo.

yeye iba yin oo,

a never reach to look ur eye oo.

yeye i carry nyansh oo.

see your nyansh.

K'Eledua s'anu fun gbogbowa.
You're very funny

You're just saying rubbish. I think you must be dull a little.