ginaolo:
I met her randomly on the road it wasn’t in a social setting. But how do I deal with her not wanting to meet family and friends? It’s disrespectful to me. As a wife you have to be open to meet my family atleast, when they are always asking about her, I can’t keep on making excuses for her na. People think there’s something wrong with my gf even though I’ve told them she is the shy type.

Ikem11:


Listen young man, the problem with we humans is when we think we better off than others and try thinking they should change.

Don't try changing humans cos u didn't create them... All u can do is learn to cope with them and if you feel is something you can adopt to quit and life goes on.

That girl got a good heart I can imagine from you write up... But never try changing her and thinking your marriage will be healthy.

How your family of friends thinks or see your partner shouldn't concern you as long as she suites you close doors... The worse marriage is the close door fight marriage don't ever get your self involve in it.

Best of luck.

Fountainofyouth:
Truly, men are confused diverse, some people are looking for her type, while some get her on a platter of gold but are not contented.

thesmallgod:

You are only viewing things from the advantages that suit what you are looking for. If you are the kind of person that like cheating, you may be planning your early grave.

saucecoder:
This thread just confirmed my suspicion that nairaland is a gathering of people who are mostly introverts, socially awkward, and can only fight and curse behind a keyboard.

See as everybody dey claim to be like the OP girl

Fountainofyouth:
Truly, men are confused, some people are looking for her type, while some get her on a platter of gold but are not contented.

bluebay:

I disagree with you in some areas. At times, what your friends and Family thinks should bother you too. 2 wrongs cannot make a right Man.

ginaolo:
Hi

I’ve been with a lady for some time now but I’m starting to have doubts about this girl.

My main concern is that she is too reserved and she doesn’t like to do anything that involves people. I come from a big family unit and she’s always avoiding family get togethers, outings, even to meet my friends and socialise with them is a huge problem. We’ve gone out very few times, she’s met my mum and a few friends, but she avoids meeting them most time. I addressed it to her and she claims she has social anxiety but for how long can I continue like this? All she wants to do is be at home. My family are already starting to get the wrong impression of her and they believe she is proud. I know my older sister is not too fond of her because of her quiet nature and I think this will take a toll on us in the future if we get married. I don’t want a wife that cannot do basic things like go out with me to events or represent me well. I don’t want a wife that will be hiding in the house 24/7.

Another thing is that she has some stubborn traits in her. She’s a lovely woman, she’s very kind, compassionate and she motivates me a lot. When she’s around me alone she’s very cool, but when it comes to going out and doing things, she starts acting up. I cannot deal with her shy nature as it’s too much and it’s becoming embarrassing. She’s 24. What do I do please?

ginaolo:
I met her randomly on the road it wasn’t in a social setting. But how do I deal with her not wanting to meet family and friends? It’s disrespectful to me. As a wife you have to be open to meet my family atleast, when they are always asking about her, I can’t keep on making excuses for her na. People think there’s something wrong with my gf even though I’ve told them she is the shy type.

kayzat:




Your wife attitude is exactly like mine. I hardly go out meeting people and my families inclusive. Some people are like that and you just have to accept that fact or let her go. Many people see us as proud or something else but we are what we are.


BTW, I am a man

ginaolo:
All I’m trying to say is too much of everything is bad. I want her to loosen up a little, because her nature is worrying

baby124:
By the way, I am not someone that goes to party everyday. In fact hubby is more social. But I don’t joke when it comes to family and mutual friends function. I show up, decked up and come out of my shell.

She can make the effort if she wants to, there are no extremes in life. If something is important to who you love as long as it does not compromise your health and safety, you will try to make them happy. Any extremist is a no-no in any situation. Run from extremists, they will destroy you.

How can someone be reluctant to meet your family and friends before marriage, is she mad? It’s even for her own good to see if she can belong to such a family or even marry you.

How will she feel if you refuse to meet her family members at all? If you act like her you won’t even meet them for introduction and you will never attend her family functions. Women can’t take that you know? Please and please flee from this woman. This one will not want to see anybody in your house. Trust me.

theButterfly:
She sounds exactly like me.

Blinkers:


Then, leave her the fûck alone and go date a social butterfly who will attend every event and parties including the ones she is not invited to.

ValCon888:
One man's meat is another man's poison.
If you know how many men are looking for a reserved homely wife like that you will thank God for many blessings.

It is your duty to explain to them she's the shy type so they can meet her half way.

ginaolo:
Hi

I’ve been with a lady for some time now but I’m starting to have doubts about this girl.

My main concern is that she is too reserved and she doesn’t like to do anything that involves people. I come from a big family unit and she’s always avoiding family get togethers, outings, even to meet my friends and socialise with them is a huge problem. We’ve gone out very few times, she’s met my mum and a few friends, but she avoids meeting them most time. I addressed it to her and she claims she has social anxiety but for how long can I continue like this? All she wants to do is be at home. My family are already starting to get the wrong impression of her and they believe she is proud. I know my older sister is not too fond of her because of her quiet nature and I think this will take a toll on us in the future if we get married. I don’t want a wife that cannot do basic things like go out with me to events or represent me well. I don’t want a wife that will be hiding in the house 24/7.

Another thing is that she has some stubborn traits in her. She’s a lovely woman, she’s very kind, compassionate and she motivates me a lot. When she’s around me alone she’s very cool, but when it comes to going out and doing things, she starts acting up. I cannot deal with her shy nature as it’s too much and it’s becoming embarrassing. She’s 24. What do I do please?

baby124:

Exactly my point. Normal person whether shy or not will want to know who she is marrying. How do you know who you are marrying without getting to know his family and friends?

Something is not right and the OP obviously cannot see it because, he can’t understand it. Everyone presents their best selves to an extent before marriage and if this is her best self. Then LOL . I pray the real self is not worse than this.

Personally, my brothers did not marry any girl that did not like their family. All my in-laws and our spouses are like siblings. We all have our character traits but one thing that we take seriously is our family bond. That’s because family is important to us.

The family you marry into is so important. One should be very very interested in knowing them and the type of friend your husband keeps.

Introverts are naturally cautious and analytical. Always interested in reading unexpressed thoughts and understanding situations. This woman here is not introverted.

Christafarian:

Finally we gat someone who is in touch with reality.

The OP narrated a disturbing case of a manifest sociopath and some omni-know-it-all Nairalanders went advisorial, instead of offering medical or psychological counsel to the poor guy.

Dear OP, I align myself with the above clear thought and adopt it as if same were mine; I kindly advise you to accept it hook line & sinker.

ginaolo:
I met her randomly on the road it wasn’t in a social setting. But how do I deal with her not wanting to meet family and friends? It’s disrespectful to me. As a wife you have to be open to meet my family atleast, when they are always asking about her, I can’t keep on making excuses for her na. People think there’s something wrong with my gf even though I’ve told them she is the shy type.

ehix89:
How do you judge a woman you have not even met

philip0906:

Easy no be war...What that man described there, is an extreme.

I can assure you, except you're also as extreme as she is, if you marry such person, e go tire you.

No one is saying a woman should be too extroverted, infact I like my woman reserved too, but not to the point of hiding from family & friends & people in general, which is what the @op described there.

I'm not angry at the OP at all. His girl is my type though. I'm only pissed that he seems like a weak man with no options, and is wasting too much time with her instead of breaking up ASAP and moving on to an outgoing type