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Should I Stay Or Leave? - Romance - Nairaland

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Should I Stay Or Leave? by farey: 1:33pm On Nov 09, 2010
Hello Nairalanders, pls I need you candid advice and not mockery pls, It is quite serious, ur answer can save a soul.



I've bin dating a guy for over 7 years now, 5 years before he left for jand, we are still talking but alot has been happening, sometimes i feel things are not going to work out for both of us. He says its going to work out though, but his attitude sometimes says the opposite - like "am not ready to have kids in the nearest future" "i want to settle myself down first b4 i think of having kids". And before he left he is always talking about starting a family early. He is now 26 and am 24 and he has a son by a white woman now.

I think He is the only person who can understand and tolerate me, i have my own faults and I think he was just given to me by God. we share a lot in common. av not actually had a serious date before him. so i dont know what other relationship looks like. and am so scared to leave cos i dont know if other guys can accept me as i am.

He cares for my needs to his ability, he says he loves me and I love him even more than love itself, i cant actually name what i have for him cos since he left 2008, have not dated any other, people come but i just dont know how i chase them away, i have not been able to love another.

But with this his current changes what should i do? Pls help! I have never wanted to be an old maiden, i have always wanted to be a young mother. what should i do? sad
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by Nobody: 1:41pm On Nov 09, 2010
Wit ur age, u still can wait but not too long again and asper the guy, he believes he still has enuf years ahead.
Does it mean that he had this child to get papers or wot?
Mine is a bitter story cos am older.
If he is telling u to wait that it will work out, he may mean it.Maybe he is just trying to fix some issues first.
You may leave now and regret it later so i will advise u stay
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by farey: 1:45pm On Nov 09, 2010
thx for ur advice Nikky, U are the best!

Yes he did it for the paper, but its hurting me badly cos my fantasy abt him has always been abt having his child.

I wish he can just come back, and leave everything behind
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by tundedanie: 1:47pm On Nov 09, 2010
babe wake up and move on
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by MissyB3(f): 2:19pm On Nov 09, 2010
farey:

sometimes i feel things are not going to work out for both of us.
If you feel it, it most likely is the case.
farey:

like "am not ready to have kids in the nearest future" "i want to settle myself down first b4 i think of having kids". And before he left he is always talking about starting a family early. He is now 26 and am 24 and he has a son by a white woman now.
Whilst it's not bad to 'settle oneself' in every necessary area before settling down, but how come another woman has a son for him, if he isn't ready to have kids in the nearest future? What are his plans for this woman?


farey:

I think He is the only person who can understand and tolerate me, i have my own faults and I think he was just given to me by God. we share a lot in common. av not actually had a serious date before him. so i dont know what other relationship looks like. and am so scared to leave cos i dont know if other guys can accept me as i am.

He cares for my needs to his ability, he says he loves me and I love him even more than love itself, i cant actually name what i have for him cos since he left 2008, have not dated any other, people come but i just dont know how i chase them away, i have not been able to love another.
There are a whole lot of men out there, if you want, take your time and carefully mingle, you would find another dude that understands you and is willing to tolerate, too.
As you have faults, so does your bf.

You're just 24.  . . . Enjoy your life w/o rush.
If you think you can afford to wait for him, do. Else, take your time, find another man. There are many 'bad' ones out there but so are there many good ones.

farey:

what should i do? sad
Whether you decide to move on or stay, just wake up and know what you're into.
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by tundedanie: 2:21pm On Nov 09, 2010
your mind has a way of givin u wat u believe. if you tink deres no one beta den it wuld b dat way. just dust urself out and enjoy life. love urself first den u'd b able to love anoda
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by Creamish(f): 2:33pm On Nov 09, 2010
dont do either . . but allow urself date someone here cos hez doin d same n even has a child to prove it to u . . stop being faithful to some1 who clearly dosnt deserve it.
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by tundedanie: 2:38pm On Nov 09, 2010
[dont do either . . but allow urself date someone here cos hez doin d same n even has a child to prove it to u . . stop being faithful to some1 who clearly dosnt deserve it.
]
wonder what shes still doin
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by Dyt(f): 2:55pm On Nov 09, 2010
poster
u already know wat u wanna do
jst tk ur tym 2 fix it n know if its d ryt thing
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by farey: 8:36pm On Nov 09, 2010
Thanks guys i really appreciate ur advice,

Am a bit relieved,

It's obvious am not really enjoying myself as i should,

I have to learn how to catch more fun
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by biola44: 4:57am On Nov 10, 2010
dont be second best, never settle for less!
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by thiscounts(m): 1:35pm On Nov 10, 2010
Leave or stay both have ''WHAT IF's'' which might hurt the two of you at the end of any of the decisions.


So STAY and dont STAY is a decision you have to brazenly take on your own accord.

BUT if you could face the pains and satisfy your conscience that you waited,you fought the battle, you never broke the promise but he did then the LORD OF LOVE WILL JUDGE U RIGHT and you would be at peace that you werent the one that hurts someone.


I take the pains to be hurt than to hurt someone,that is me.
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by Nobody: 1:53pm On Nov 10, 2010
farey:

Hello Nairalanders, pls I need you candid advice and not mockery pls, It is quite serious, your answer can save a soul.



I've bin dating a guy for over 7 years now, 5 years before he left for jand, we are still talking but alot has been happening, sometimes i feel things are not going to work out for both of us. He says its going to work out though, but his attitude sometimes says the opposite - like "am not ready to have kids in the nearest future" "i want to settle myself down first b4 i think of having kids". And before he left he is always talking about starting a family early. He is now 26 and am 24 and he has a son by a white woman now.

I think He is the only person who can understand and tolerate me, i have my own faults and I think he was just given to me by God. we share a lot in common. av not actually had a serious date before him. so i dont know what other relationship looks like. and am so scared to leave cos i dont know if other guys can accept me as i am.

He cares for my needs to his ability, he says he loves me and I love him even more than love itself, i cant actually name what i have for him cos since he left 2008, have not dated any other, people come but i just dont know how i chase them away, i have not been able to love another.

But with this his current changes what should i do? Pls help! I have never wanted to be an old maiden, i have always wanted to be a young mother. what should i do? sad

Why are you limiting yourself undecided

I'm not saying he's not a great guy but hey there are good guys out there. I personally dont think you should wait for him (but that's just my opinion). The guy's just no serious. The age gap between you guys is not much and that's not comforting. At 24 you should be thinking seriously of settling down and at 26 I'm afraid he's still a bit young!

You need to set your priorities right. Not all relationships are meant to end in marriage. You guys had fun while it lasted, it's time for you to let go . . .
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by SAGoddess: 1:55pm On Nov 10, 2010
Don't need to crack my pretty head about this one - STAY!
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by tundedanie: 1:58pm On Nov 10, 2010
Don't need to crack my pretty head about this one - STAY!]
hw wuld u say dat?
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by SAGoddess: 2:07pm On Nov 10, 2010
Because the assumption is that OP should be mature enough to know that this situation is unhealthy for her and she should LEAVE but she is still asking "should I stay or go" Do people always need the forum to run their lives? Would she stay if EVERYONE on here said she should stay even though she knows the situation is unhealthy?
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by tundedanie: 2:09pm On Nov 10, 2010
some peopls no just get liver. no mind am. d guy no even dey do anythin wit am she tie herself down
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by SAGoddess: 2:15pm On Nov 10, 2010
farey:

Hello Nairalanders, pls I need you candid advice and not mockery pls, It is quite serious, your answer can save a soul.



I've bin dating a guy for over 7 years now, 5 years before he left for jand, we are still talking but alot has been happening, sometimes i feel things are not going to work out for both of us. He says its going to work out though, but his attitude sometimes says the opposite - like "am not ready to have kids in the nearest future" "i want to settle myself down first b4 i think of having kids". And before he left he is always talking about starting a family early. He is now 26 and am 24 and he has a son by a white woman now.

I think He is the only person who can understand and tolerate me, i have my own faults and I think he was just given to me by God. we share a lot in common. av not actually had a serious date before him. so i dont know what other relationship looks like. and am so scared to leave cos i dont know if other guys can accept me as i am.
He cares for my needs to his ability, he says he loves me and I love him even more than love itself, i cant actually name what i have for him cos since he left 2008, have not dated any other, people come but i just dont know how i chase them away, i have not been able to love another.

But with this his current changes what should i do? Pls help! I have never wanted to be an old maiden, i have always wanted to be a young mother. what should i do? sad

Also she keeps saying the bolded above, if she has never been with anyone else, how can she be so sure no one else will accept her as she is, clearly this angel was sent from above to look after her and now that the angel has flown away, she is stuck, mxwwwm!

Clearly the guy had no intentions of settling down with her in the first place if he told her he was not ready for children but has since had a baby with someone else, whether for papers or something else, it's irrelevant but it is clear she should move on but is not allowing herself to do so!
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by md4real(m): 3:08pm On Nov 10, 2010
farey:


his attitude sometimes says the opposite - like "am not ready to have kids in the nearest future" "i want to settle myself down first b4 i think of having kids".
And before he left he is always talking about starting a family early. He is now 26 and am 24 and he has a son by a white woman now.

please bunder on the above and open your eyes.
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by kpolli(m): 3:22pm On Nov 10, 2010
farey:

Hello Nairalanders, pls I need you candid advice and not mockery pls, It is quite serious, your answer can save a soul.



I've bin dating a guy for over 7 years now, 5 years before he left for jand, we are still talking but alot has been happening, sometimes i feel things are not going to work out for both of us. He says its going to work out though, but his attitude sometimes says the opposite - like "am not ready to have kids in the nearest future" "i want to settle myself down first b4 i think of having kids". And before he left he is always talking about starting a family early. He is now 26 and am 24 and he has a son by a white woman now.

I think He is the only person who can understand and tolerate me, i have my own faults and I think he was just given to me by God. we share a lot in common. av not actually had a serious date before him. so i dont know what other relationship looks like. and am so scared to leave cos i dont know if other guys can accept me as i am.

He cares for my needs to his ability, he says he loves me and I love him even more than love itself, i cant actually name what i have for him cos since he left 2008, have not dated any other, people come but i just dont know how i chase them away, i have not been able to love another.

But with this his current changes what should i do? Pls help! I have never wanted to be an old maiden, i have always wanted to be a young mother. what should i do? sad

thats not 5yrs ago
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by farey: 8:19pm On Nov 10, 2010
once again i say thank u guys,
But i dont want d forum to rule my life, i just want ur opinion abt d issue, wat u wld av don if u were in dsame situation. I prefare sharing my probs wit pple dat dont know me, so they wont b bias in their judgement. And any descision i take am totally responsible - u guys gave me advice to d best of ur knowledge- and its left for me to act. What ever i do is totally me.

And abt me talking abt him over and over again, maybe its because i love him and am scared of losing him and making decisions.
Have u never been scared before?
I dont really know what heart break feels like and i pray i never experience it,

This is just a stage of my life & i will pass tru it, & tnx for making it easier for me,
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by 190: 8:26pm On Nov 10, 2010
No stay!!

Wait i dey come!!
Re: Should I Stay Or Leave? by deoyel25(m): 1:14am On Nov 11, 2010
He has a kid already so what are you still waiting for? Don't waste your time on someone having a lot of fun over there. Again, who told you he has only one girlfriend or kid? Shine your eyes ooo. By the way, are you a University graduate, maybe I could work something out with you. wink wink grin grin

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