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My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home - Family (12) - Nairaland

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What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise / My Husband Said He Will Raise My Kids To Challenge Me And Be Rude To Me. / My Husband Always Tells Me To Leave His House During Quarrel (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by zealblinks(m): 7:17am On Nov 10, 2019
arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?
I will advice you to obey him for 3 months. Try and make sure you complete your prayer for that 3 months. And see maybe he would change his attitude towards you or not. Then you can inform your family about his attitude

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Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by CioAngels(f): 7:20am On Nov 10, 2019
0KNM:
If he said to leave his house, please do. Get yourself a room elsewhere. Leave my house no be leave this world
You are very correct, he is giving his wife, mental, psychological and physical torture.
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by LadySarah: 7:21am On Nov 10, 2019
rajowski:
As some contributor here opined that this is a cooked up story to keep the nairaland family busy, it might be but this thing does happen in reality. I Am a Muslim man - married to a non-regular in worship Muslim woman like the OP. A situation like this is really a painful one for a husband because a woman is expected to be the best role model she can be for the children. It is a fact that in most cases children use most times with their mother than with the father. A non-worshipping wife will surely raise non-worshipping children. OP you need to take your solat serious for your husband, children, and your own sake. The Quran clearly states that the only difference between a Muslim and a non-muslim is the solat. You really need to work on yourself very well enter into Islam wholeheartedly to have peace with yourself and in your home. Do not give your husband a reason for a divorce or to take another wife. The aftermath is usually not pleasant.

This isnt true pls.If You have believed it All your life,better start unbelieving it(sic).

society is messed up because of men leaving Their God given duty for women.Childrengrowing up without afather's love.A man's authority isnt questioned by the children.Thats not a woman's job.

I have 3 Boys and i know what it takes to calm them so much Sometimes i get frustrated and discipline them.But My husband nah,Once he talks,they obey asap.The House is peaceful when he is around.
A man is the best role model for his kids.Not undermining the woman's spiritual duty to her home/marriage.
Research on lack of fatherly love in a child's life

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Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by ashantitope: 7:24am On Nov 10, 2019
Madam don't come here and be giving us different story what exactly happened? and why are you not praying like before? Have you got another God that you are serving now and if you want to convert to xtian is very okay and you can go ahead so stop giving us different side of the story
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by CioAngels(f): 7:26am On Nov 10, 2019
Religion, we are all hypocrites, accept the first religion which is the core traditional religion.
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by LadySarah: 7:26am On Nov 10, 2019
jnoz23:
How do you have sex if you don't talk? Sign language?

Its a concocted story by Lalasticlala and Seun to bring Traffic.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Kongomaster123: 7:27am On Nov 10, 2019
You guys never do nikkah and you calling him your husband, mind you their is no marriage between you people secondly why wont you as a muslim [color=#000099][/color]
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Tsolutionifede(m): 7:31am On Nov 10, 2019
0KNM:
If he said to leave his house, please do. Get yourself a room elsewhere. Leave my house no be leave this world
alakoba, so mi da bi n se da
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by gbagyiza: 7:33am On Nov 10, 2019
arinpe16:


I'm not fighting God. I'm not used to praying 5 times daily before we met and he knows. I think he's only using it as an excuse. Is it enough reason to.want.a.divorce?

I am not a Muslim but I have to let you know that, if your religion warrants you to pray five times daily, you should abide by it. I don't think this is an issue, obey your husband it won't take anything out of you.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by baratech: 7:37am On Nov 10, 2019
Why are not praying? Obey your husband...or leave the house.... Simple
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by XaintJoel20: 7:38am On Nov 10, 2019
MedicH:
when u said he eats your food i got a lot of mixed feelings. pls which food exactly? the one he eats before he eat or the one he eats after he eat

Bros I swear you will not make heaven.
Come and enter heaven let me see you.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by ChristoBam: 7:39am On Nov 10, 2019
pharmagba:

I need to be blunt with you since you asked for my advice

You are not wise at all.
Look at the reason you are giving, that you are not praying regularly

Praying to God is a test of humility. A great man once said, "if I want to humble a man, I ask him how long he prays"
It simply means you are full of pride and very disobedient wife. You are even considering your marketability when you eventually leaves his house.
If things continue like this let me tell you what will happen, he will definitely throw you out of his life, not only his house and he will get a better lady and live happily ever after and you may also get a another husband who will also throw you out after some time. Why? Simple. It is because you will display your rotten character.


My advice if you really want to make things work
Be humble to your husband, respect and obey him. It is not to much to pray even if it is 100times daily. Any woman that humbles herself and respect her husband especially if the man is Godly, will always find favour with him. In fact such men will go out of their ways to satisfy and make her happy but if you don't respect him forget about getting any dime from him.
You have wasted so much time, start the amendment today. Thank God he had not told his parent.

A word is enough for the wise



What kind of mental slavery is this?
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Augustlove: 7:46am On Nov 10, 2019
grin
MedicH:
when u said he eats your food i got a lot of mixed feelings. pls which food exactly? the one he eats before he eat or the one he eats after he eat
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by klax(m): 7:47am On Nov 10, 2019
arinpe16:
Good evening everyone. Please I need your advice.

My husband has been keeping malice with me because I don't pray regularly again (we're Muslims) and he's threatening to divorce me (we only did court wedding and yet to do Nikkah).

He's eats my food but doesn't talk to me. This has been going on for over a year now and it's getting worse. Can I tell his parents? They are strong Muslims and I'm afraid they may blame me more. He also doesn't give me money anymore. I'm tired of his stinginess and he's very insensitive. He believes I'm a devil since I don't pray even though things have changed for the better for him since we met.

He also doesn't believe I can get a husband since I'm close to 35. Please, I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

Not praying 5 times not the reason at all he is just using that as excuse possibly he already planning second wife as Muslim way and be doesn't know how to go about it so he is looking for a slight chance to capitalise on then strike.

In the next few weeks if you are sensitive enough you will come back here and say I said it.
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by umarazizz87(m): 7:48am On Nov 10, 2019
As a Muslim, if you don't pray to Almighty Allah then you're not a good woman and do not deserve to be the mother of any body's children.

Fear Allah and observe your prayers. I support your husband's measures 100%. If it was me, we wouldn't be together now as I can't allow to mother my child.
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Nobody: 7:52am On Nov 10, 2019
Tsolutionifede:
alakoba, so mi da bi n se da
Okay, make she dey there na until person kill person
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by femi4: 7:59am On Nov 10, 2019
Cutehector:
Abeg begin to kabash in his house o.. I duno if you muslims speak in tongues but please start so he will notice...shebi he wants prayers, he will get tired....
grin
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by dejavo: 8:00am On Nov 10, 2019
arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

Madam,I am sorry to say, you r talking rubbish.i really dont know the kind of marriage counselling religious institution gives young couples of today. U r having issues wit ur husband becos u ain't praying 5 times daily then u decide in ur mind that u wont adjust to please him. If u r okay wit d problem then my dear dont adjust but dont ever put any blame on ur husband if he starts cheating. Atleast he is still eating ur food and fucking u but put it in mind that he will soon stop .
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by 1deycoalw(m): 8:01am On Nov 10, 2019
Life and wahala..... My opinion is this if you want to make someone do something especially your WIFE not your married SLAVE i think u correct her with love not with the attitude of that husband. Keeping malice with ur wife for a year over prayer things, so sorry to say that bros or Alfa nor get brain i swear. The woman self love d man if not she go don poison d guy nah. Madam ur husband is a baby husband that needs to grow up. This is marriage, it is for better for worse.
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Nobody: 8:02am On Nov 10, 2019
arinpe16:
@baby124, He prays regularly and we have kids.
@pharmagba Did you read the post at all? He's the one telling me that I'm not marketable again. As per obedience and humility, don't judge please. You do not know me.
He doesn't set good example for me. He will pray, eat my food, have sex with me and still keep malice with me? Is that what the Qur'an says about religion? We've been together for 5 years and he didn't see it as a big deal. Why is it now that everything good is coming his way, he suddenly start seeing me as being a devil, not marketable and what not.
So, I'll have to pray for him to love me and do his right? Just imagine. He can't even correct me without threatening me with divorce. Is being divorced a disease?

As long as I never wish him bad and I'm trying, he should know I'll get there, but it takes time. So, i ask again, is divorce the answer?

Unfortunately, your husband is not loyal and might be thinking of taking another wife. He also wants to start controlling you, a trait he has been hiding when he was poor. Try and increase the prayer just to see the next fault he finds.

Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by femi4: 8:04am On Nov 10, 2019
dominique:
Try and pray five times a day, with time you'll get used to it. My husband also complains about my non praying regularly so I'm trying to adjust. It's not easy but achievable.
Your nairalanding time won't allow you
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by monex(m): 8:05am On Nov 10, 2019
madprophet:


Madam

You husband wants to marry another wife.

Gather your self esteem and be prepared
gbam !!!
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by monex(m): 8:06am On Nov 10, 2019
chigoizie7:
If the only reason he wants to divorce you is because you do not pray.

I suggest you grant him the divorce.


You are scared not because you really love him enough to want to stay in the marriage, you are only scared that he said that you are 35 and can’t get married again and you believed him.

Gbam Again !
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by SmooshCHN: 8:12am On Nov 10, 2019
See, I'm not shocked no one here wants to say the truth. You shouldn't expect unbiased opinions from NL and the peeps out here. Nigerians are the most religious but morally corrupt people. So don't expect many to see from your point of view. Your husband is wrong as a religious man to act and treat you his wife that way. I for one think, he's looking for an excuse to marry someone else hence calling you a devil, keeping malice and all that crap. Your religion makes it difficult for Nigerians to see your point of view let alone his family. They will continue to see him as perfect since he the one advocating for you to be a devout Muslim. We can't guarantee he would change if you start praying 5 times a day with his immature actions but you can give it a try if you think it's worth it. It might be worth it since some people are that religious and will will stop at nothing to ensure you follow but don't let this bring you down. Stay strong.
He saw all these before getting married, didn't follow the normal Islamic rights to get wedded and all of a sudden now thinks you're not religious enough. What's next? You either obey or he gets another wife? Please
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by oyinda1599(f): 8:12am On Nov 10, 2019
arinpe16:


I'm not fighting God. I'm not used to praying 5 times daily before we met and he knows. I think he's only using it as an excuse. Is it enough reason to.want.a.divorce?
Are you not a Muslim, why will you not pray five times a day, is it too much to do for God sake? You won't spend more than 5mins on each solat, so why the extreme laziness to pray, praying is for you and a way to appreciate God always. You didn't pay for the air you breath in ma'am.... May God makes it easy for us all.
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by smj4islam: 8:22am On Nov 10, 2019
@arinpe16: Thank God for the home that Allah has blessed you with. A husband and kid inclusive.
First: Regarding prayers, Allah said in Quran 23:1-10 regarding the characteristics of believers
Verse 1: Successful indeed are the believers
Verse 2: Those who Offers their prayers with full submissiveness and solemnity.
Verse 3:Those who turn away from evil,false,vain talk
Verse 4:Those who pays their Zakat
Verse 5: Those who guides their chastity from illegal sexual intercourse
Verse 6: Except from their wive/Husband
Verse 7: But whosoever seeks beyond all these ,they are the transgressors
Versr 8: Those who are faithful to their Duties, moral responsibility,trust and covenants
Verse 9: And those who strictly guide their five daily prayers at their fixed stated times
Verse 10: They are indeed the inheritors
Verse 11: Who will inherit the Paradise and dwell therein forever.
You see this chapter of the Quran lays emphasy on the importance of strictly observing the five daily prayers especially at its stated times. People who do that and observe the othef characteristics in the chapters are the true believer and not just a muslim by name or physical appearance. Allah doesnt need our prayers, but he instructed us to do it to know which of us will be obedient and submissive even during the prayers as some people just pray physically without any submissiveness.

Although, i think your husband might be wrong in his approach, but sincerely, if truly he wants you to pray regularly,then he wants the best for you in this world and the hereafter.
You have not mentioned he physically abuse use(beats), that means he is not the violence type and maybe only sees the threat as the only option he has to make you better

He might have married you knowing you dont pray regularly, but maybe he also doesnt realise the importance of prayers then, He might have listened to a lecture somewhere or read somewhere about the importance of prayers thats why he now disturb you now about it.

My dear sister, Allah wants to make you better by using your husband as a tool for you, it doesnt cost much, Remember also that your happiness in the hereafter lies with how well you make your husband happy now. Put a smile on his face by praying regularly, even though your intention should be to please Allah as stated in the verses above.

Lastly, no truly well that your kids needs to be happy and you wont want to wonder what psychological impact it could have on them if you are divorced. Its really unimaginable my dear

May Allah bless your home with sound eeman and all that your heart desire.Ameen

1 Like

Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by abimbola74(m): 8:25am On Nov 10, 2019
Ladies here are been reasonable than some guys here. Why on earth will you advice her to leave instead of letting her know she can still change things . He didn't say she shld worship him nah , she shld pray to her creator.
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by kumbalo(m): 8:29am On Nov 10, 2019
You lack wisdom.

Your hubby Is threatening you with divorce because you don't pray and yet you don't see the need to PRAY that God should touch his heart. You are busy weighing your marketability when you divorce. I won't judge you but I know your kind. Let me tell you...whe you leave he will remarry and live happily ever after. You..I can guarantee.you will get bleeped by different men in your desperate bit to settle down and shame your enemies and will need PRAYERS to get a married man to marry you. That prayer you refused to do...you will do it then. My only concerns are the kids you want to put in a polygamous home because of your arrogance.
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Juliearth(f): 8:32am On Nov 10, 2019
Cutehector:
hehehe.. I'm just naughty


I totally understand bro
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by StPete: 8:37am On Nov 10, 2019
FuckTheMod:

Some people are just surprisingly stupid...
You people just talk without using brains sometimes....

E pain am!! grin grin
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by Mac2016(m): 8:43am On Nov 10, 2019
arinpe16:


I'm not fighting God. I'm not used to praying 5 times daily before we met and he knows. I think he's only using it as an excuse. Is it enough reason to.want.a.divorce?
I knew it that it would be this error. It's costly!
You knew he was hard core and you weren't and he too knew who you are!

Advice to all : NEVER hope for character change due to or after wedding. It is foolish! A change is a miracle
Re: My Husband Said I Should Leave His Home by oyinda1599(f): 8:44am On Nov 10, 2019
logan2:
Should we be discussing about this? He's a moslem, he wants another wife, simple..... Abi were you not expecting w vo wife?

Meanwhile this is the first time i am reading a moslem seeking for relationship help here on Nl..... I hope your people will not kill you for saying your mind
Kill Bawo...

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