AwkaetitiBabe:
She didn't lie but withholding information. Yes, people in love Lie to keep that love.

Of course, telling him she’s AS when she’s SS isn't a lie, it’s simply withholding information, a very vital one at that. May God help you.

“People in love don’t lie to keep that love,” in case, you might need this in future. Now you wonder why people who seem so much in love end up breaking up. Because they lie to keep the love and so their love wasn’t based on the truth and when the truth comes out, they fail and fall. But people who don’t lie to keep their love end up growing stronger, because there’s nothing to bring them down anymore, their love was based on the truth right from the very beginning.

bukatyne:


Very true.

Last I remembered, love is not selfish.

And again people who lie about genotype. I don’t know if they don’t have any thought of their unborn kids. I mean in this world where even an individual with no terminal illness is falling sick, why would you intentionally want to bring a child that would have to survive in on drugs into the world. A child that won’t be able to enjoy a very good health? It’s stressful for both the parents and the kids.

bukatyne:




Interesting

You are quite passionate about this topic.

Speaking from experience?

Yes I am, a man I almost married lied that he was AS while being SS, it was a LDR so I didn't suspect anything, he started going off for like days or a week, I felt it was job things so didn't bother, when it became very frequent, I felt it was cheating and all, imagine my shock when I went to his place to know what's going on, only for me to see him in the hospital looking lifeless, was told he was SS......i knew we cant go on but I stayed with him out of pity and support till we drifted apart........

There are some things that people should not lie about, I am AA, I would have stayed with him, but he was ready to lie his way to marry me knowing full well I would have no choice but to accept whatever happens, so unfair.

Mariangeles:

This your comment is very insensitive.
What is the guarantee that you'll live longer than her, or your brother's wife ?
Nonsense!

Her comment is not o! The ish is not whether or not she'd live longer than her but the fact that most of their offspring will be SS. You surely might not understand her until you've been there or have someone around you going through that stuff. It is not a pleasant sight.

What joy will any sane person derive by lying and then birthing SS offspring and not even enjoy them?

Mariangeles:

This your comment is very insensitive.
What is the guarantee that you'll live longer than her, or your brother's wife ?
Nonsense!

You are the insensitive one here. she never said she would live longer than any of them, neither did she pray any of them should die. She’s simply stating the obvious fact which is all the trouble the family is going through would have been avoided if the wife had been truthful from the beginning. It’s either they don’t end up getting married to save their unborn kids or they find a way to give birth to AS and not SS with medical
help. Love sometimes requires sacrifice. What foolish love will make you get married to your partner when you know you both risk bringing forth SS kids to life? If you don’t think about yourself, ain’t you supposed to think about the poor kids that would have to deal with ill health and the stress that comes with it. You think it’s easy surviving on drugs?

AwkaetitiBabe:
She didn't lie but withholding information. Yes, people in love Lie to keep that love.

I pity your mindset! Someone told someone that she's AS whereas she is SS and you say she didn't lie but only withheld information? I would have ran you down if you were a guy but alas, you are a girl. I doubt you qualify to be referred to as a lady.

Mariangeles:

This your comment is very insensitive.
What is the guarantee that you'll live longer than her, or your brother's wife ?
Nonsense!

There is a difference between long life and health lies, her story is very apt and a lesson to others, maybe when your would be husband lies about his genotype and being HIV, you'd know how it feels....

Fountainofyouth:



There is a difference between long life and health lies, her story is very apt and a lesson to others, maybe when your would be husband lies about his genotype and being HIV, you'd know how it feels....

I’m telling you. What’s long life if you don’t have a health life? People pray for long life and good health not long life and bad health. Having a good health is part of long life. What’s long life if you spend half of it on a hospital bed?


May God grant us good health and long life

AwkaetitiBabe:
She didn't lie but withholding information.

Yes, people in love Lie to keep that love.

This is bullshit,love is honest!!...if you lie to kip love,you don't really love the person

Mariangeles:

This your comment is very insensitive.
What is the guarantee that you'll live longer than her, or your brother's wife ?
Nonsense!

I'm sorry if the post sounded insensitive.
I'm not the owner of life. No one can guarantee tomorrow my dear, but its not a nice feeling at all spending days in the hospital back to back and not knowing if your loved ones will survive this time or not. You will not understand until you have been in that shoe.
My grievieance is the lies and forgery that came before the marriage which is the same thing poster is trying to do.

abelswife:


I'm sorry if the post sounded insensitive.
I'm not the owner of life. No one can guarantee tomorrow my dear, but its not a nice feeling at all spending days in the hospital back to back and not knowing if your loved ones will survive this time or not. You will not understand until you have been in that shoe.
My grievieance is the lies and forgery that came before the marriage which is the same thing poster is trying to do.

Your post isn’t insensitive sis, so don’t be sorry. You have nothing to apologize for.

you want to start a marriage based on deceit and lies and you pray to live happily after?..don't worry,but the time the man knows(he will still know sooner or later),you will know there is no substitute to honesty!!

abelswife:
See them. That was how my brother's wife lied. My brother is AS. Because she wanted to marry by force she said she's AA. They went for tests it showed SS and AS for her and my brother. She said their machine is bad and went to another hospital where they have an insider. There they gave them AA for her and AS for my brother. My parents said he shouldn't go ahead with the marriage but they insisted. Now they've have finally gotten married abi? What now happened?

They gave birth to SS
Everyday her and the child are both in and out of the hospital. No savings, no happiness, no Joy. Everyday siki siki. She's siking the baby is siking. My brother is longing mouth and squeezing face

One time both of them had crises at the same time, my mum now used the opportunity to confirm their genotype because she didn't understand why everyday they are always sick. Lo and behold, mother SS. Child SS. We confronted her she was still denying and we showed her the results she started crying.

We are looking.


See ehn. God will not forgive you if your bring another SS child into this world. God will not forgive you if your end up dying on the road and making your husband a widower halfway because you lied.

In fact for even thinking about lying you're a terrible person.

Bye

The most sensible comment from a lady on this post..

I don't know why people support evil in the name of sister's love...

What the Op is trying to do is very dangerous..

Let your husband know your status now..
Tomorrow may be too late

Sanchez01:

I pity your mindset! Someone told someone that she's AS whereas she is SS and you say she didn't lie but only withheld information? I would have ran you down if you were a guy but alas, you are a girl. I doubt you qualify to be referred to as a lady.

Hey! I was referring to this Op who is SS and marrying AA man! Don't freaking jump into my mention if you don't know where I'm coming from. Wtf

queenitee:

You are the insensitive one here. she never said she would live longer than any of them, neither did she pray any of them should die. She’s simply stating the obvious fact which is all the trouble the family is going through would have been avoided if the wife had been truthful from the beginning. It’s either they don’t end up getting married to save their unborn kids or they find a way to give birth to AS and not SS with medical
help. Love sometimes requires sacrifice. What foolish love will make you get married to your partner when you know you both risk bringing forth SS kids to life? If you don’t think about yourself, ain’t you supposed to think about the poor kids that would have to deal with ill health and the stress that comes with it. You think it’s easy surviving on drugs?

It's not about what she said, it's how she said it .

abelswife:


I'm sorry if the post sounded insensitive.
I'm not the owner of life. No one can guarantee tomorrow my dear, but its not a nice feeling at all spending days in the hospital back to back and not knowing if your loved ones will survive this time or not. You will not understand until you have been in that shoe.
My grievieance is the lies and forgery that came before the marriage which is the same thing poster is trying to do.

Why are you sorry? That you told the gospel truth from a personal experience? This isn't rocket science. One who hasn't been there or seen one up close won't understand your initial post. You have no reason to be sorry.

bukatyne:


She did lie and said she was As instead of SS.

If you genuinely love someone (operative word = genuinely), you would lay all your cards on the table and let them take you for who you are.

If on the other hand you saw the person as a suitable suitor (looks, cash, sex, body, position, fame, family etc.), you would scheme (lie, kill, jazz etc.) to make them yours.

OH. She should tell him. AA can marry SS.

[s]

AwkaetitiBabe:
Hey! I was referring to this Op who is SS and marrying AA man! Don't freaking jump into my mention if you don't know where I'm coming from. Wtf

[/s]
Your comment is senseless, ma'am. First it was love and then that she didn't tell lies whereas she mentioned that she did. And yọ think you mention that people lie in the name of love (which you find cool) beats my imagination. Again, I'd have conveniently ran you down if you were a guy with your warped mindset. But then, you are a girl and the idea of love, truth and openness is way over your head. Peace on you!

AwkaetitiBabe:
Hey! I was referring to this Op who is SS and marrying AA man! Don't freaking jump into my mention if you don't know where I'm coming from. Wtf

Still it’s not right. We know if they get married, they wouldn’t give birth to SS, but for the sake of trust, she should have told him. Imagine if the husband later gets to know from her anyone outside? Don’t you think that would make him look like a fool? You know that even a harmless lie is enough to break a trust? It’s not even about the kids they would bring to life here, it’s about her husband’s trust she would lose should he get to know. And the thing once you can’t trust you me partner, the love you have for them keeps decreasing. Or what if later she gets to have a crisis and because the husband isn’t even aware of her status, he doesn’t know what to do? You know there are a lot of things at stake here, not just about the kids.

Sanchez01:

Her comment is not o! The ish is not whether or not she'd live longer than her but the fact that most of their offspring will be SS. You surely might not understand her until you've been there or have someone around you going through that stuff. It is not a pleasant sight.

What joy will any sane person derive by lying and then birthing SS offspring and not even enjoy them?

You observed how she talked about her brother's wife being "siki siki " without compassion ?
It wasn't right .

Fountainofyouth:



Yes I am, a man I almost married lied that he was AS while being SS, it was a LDR so I didn't suspect anything, he started going off for like days or a week, I felt it was job things so didn't bother, when it became very frequent, I felt it was cheating and all, imagine my shock when I went to his place to know what's going on, only for me to see him in the hospital looking lifeless, was told he was SS......i knew we cant go on but I stayed with him out of pity and support till we drifted apart........

There are some things that people should not lie about, I am AA, I would have stayed with him, but he was ready to lie his way to marry me knowing full well I would have no choice but to accept whatever happens, so unfair.

Please tell them... They need to stop lying in relationships...

Lying is annoying

Mariangeles:

You observed how she talked about her brother's wife without compassion ?
It wasn't right .

I did. But don't blame her. The brother's wife manipulated her brother and even a result in order to force the marriage through. You'd act more than she did if you were in her shoes (God forbid).

Eventually, innocent kids end up paying for the lies and misdeeds of their parents. It is not a pleasant experience, if you witness one up close.

CsRockefeller:


Wow!

Are they still married?

Yes

Sanchez01:

I did. But don't blame her. The brother's wife manipulated her brother and even a result in order to force the marriage through. You'd act more than she did if you were in her shoes (God forbid).

Eventually, innocent kids end up paying for the lies and misdeeds of their parents. It is not a pleasant experience, if you witness one up close.

I’m telling you. I’ve witnessed one brought to the hospital. When the husband got tired, he left both mother and kid at the hospital and didn’t come back and that’s was a man that knew both himself and his wife are AS o, not to talk of a man that didn’t know. The kid was just seven years and the pain she was going through, I’ve never gone through it in my entire life.

.

Sanchez01:
[s][/s]
Your comment is senseless, ma'am. First it was love and then that she didn't tell lies whereas she mentioned that she did. And yọ think you mention that people lie in the name of love (which you find cool) beats my imagination. Again, I'd have conveniently ran you down if you were a guy with your warped mindset. But then, you are a girl and the idea of love, truth and openness is way over your head. Peace on you!

Just read the comment again and saw she lied. Didn't code that part before. I goofed. Lying isn't the way actually cos d truth always come out.

Mariangeles:

You observed how she talked about her brother's wife being "siki siki " without compassion ?
It wasn't right .

But the wife lied with compassion right??

Sanchez01:

I did. But don't blame her. The brother's wife manipulated her brother and even a result in order to force the marriage through. You'd act more than she did if you were in her shoes (God forbid).

Eventually, innocent kids end up paying for the lies and misdeeds of their parents. It is not a pleasant experience, if you witness one up close.

Lies and Misdeeds of thier MOTHER!

queenitee:

Of course, telling him she’s AS when she’s SS isn't a lie, it’s simply withholding information, a very vital one at that. May God help you.

“People in love don’t lie to keep that love,” in case, you might need this in future. Now you wonder why people who seem so much in love end up breaking up. Because they lie to keep the love and so their love wasn’t based on the truth and when the truth comes out, they fail and fall. But people who don’t lie to keep their love end up growing stronger, because there’s nothing to bring them down anymore, their love was based on the truth right from the very beginning.

Just saw that narrative now. Personally I think she should tell the man. Marriage shouldn't b built on deceitful foundation.

Breaststroke:


Maria between you and I, you're the only one seeing something wrong with what Abelswife wrote.

I saw absolutely nothing wrong with her narrative, it was matter of fact and simple. No ill will there.

@ Bukatyne, did you just encourage the OP to carry on with her deceit? I can't go to page 1 to quote the particular comment that has me wondering.

@ OP, I don't know you personally but I feel resentment towards you for wanting to start a life long relationship with deceit. What happened to basic honesty in your relationship?

You see what happens when people want to marry at all costs? Singleness is not a disease you need to be cured from ooo!

We need to start teaching our ladies that marriage isn’t an achievement. I’m not trying to be a feminist or something. In fact, I want to get married also, but what I’m saying is marriage is not a do or die affair, you don’t have to lie just because you want to get married at all cost. Being single isn’t a disease. What’s the essence of getting married with lies and divorcing later?

AwkaetitiBabe:
Just read the comment again and saw she lied. Didn't code that part before. I goofed. Lying isn't the way actually cos d truth always come out.

Babe
Nice correction

damilare214:
I'm getting married this weekend and my husband to be doesn't know about my genotype. I'm SS but lied to him that I'm AS, he is AA.
I don't look like SS neither do I fall sick( I sick once or twice a year),and I'm not on any medication as well.
My doctor and friends advised me not to tell him because of different heartbreaks that I have experienced in the past ( people believe SS dies prematurely).
I have plan to tell him on our wedding night but my friends insist I should wait till I give birth.

Please help me, I don't know the right time to tell him and I don't want to build my marriage on lies.

Tell him now. If he loves you just as Fred amata loved omotola in Mortal Inheritance, things should work out just fine. All d best.