Mindfulness:


Did you honestly think that your opinion about women on this thread is something we have never read? We have been reading the same boring stuff for years now. We have read countless times how we should fear menopause and how you will desire us less. Do you seriously think we didn't know menopause would come?

And then you act as if anyone needs your advice. Who the f*ck are you to dish out unsolicited advice on a thread created for ladies? Who asked you? Let me tell you something Redpillguy, cause your name says it all, you have been rejected by women several times, now you are projecting your frustration on ladies hoping they will experience the same when they get older but I can assure you that with your mindset and attitude you will be even rejected past menopause and dance to the tune of those of us who have built successful careers. Mark my words.

Now go and sin no more son.

Hehe you got that on a ferminist forum? Like female dating strategy on reddit?
What ever I say about women is nothing but the truth. Nah never experience rejection, in my name says it all. I advice men about female dating strategy. I know woman. I know how things works. i will tell you for a fact that when you age as a woman you lose your sexual value, the brain on default just tells the man "you are not fertile " not sure you are making more than me right now. And I don't mind dancing to the tune of people who pay me. Its called the economy. Yeah am doing pretty well for myself. Dad help too, left me with lots of proparties, thanks to the patriarchy. About my sex life and rejection. Hehe am doing the rejection.

TheRedpillguy:

Hehe you got that on a ferminist forum? Like female dating strategy on reddit?
What ever I say about women is nothing but the truth. Nah never experience rejection, in my name says it all. I advice men about female dating strategy. I know woman. I know how things works. i will tell you for a fact that when you age as a woman you lose your sexual value, the brain on default just tells the man "you are not fertile " not sure you are making more than me right now. And I don't mind dancing to the tune of people who pay me. Its called the economy. Yeah am doing pretty wall for myself. Dad help too, left me with lots of proparties, thanks to the patriarchy. About my sex life and rejection. Hehe am doing the rejection.

See how insecure you are. You are even trying to prove something to a stranger. Keep deceiving yourself.

Mindfulness:


See how insecure you are. You are even trying to prove something to a stranger. Keep deceiving yourself.

Yeah I love proving strangers wrong too? Cus strangers can just come talk like they know someone. You can give it names, but like you said. You read my view about women. I want my readers to understand that the truth they know about women, its not cus they are rejected by women its cus women are full of BS and thy should know their value and see through that BS especially the women that are getting old and are running out of options. I want men to reject them cus they are using those men as a back up plan and dont mean well for them. No man should be a back up plan for a woman. Men should go for fertile women.

Carrier shud kom first ooo...no guy want a liability

emddi:
Ma broda,career isn't about money,career is you doing work you love and finding fulfillment in it.When you have found fulfillment,to hell with what people think or say.

I have made my point !

Hmmm

If you never marry... develop yourself career wise...!!

safarigirl:
Career

Once I have established myself, I can enter marriage knowing I have something to offer my partner. It is hard to find footing in your career after marriage.

I don't want to be anyone's liability, so, I would rather I have built myself to a reasonable extent, before joining forces with anyone

well said

Career of cos. As a lady if you're not stable career wise don't go and bother another woman's son. A woman/ lady must bring something to the table.

pocohantas:


I am busy with life. I don't have to marry and have kids to fit in. Not when I plan outsourcing a lot. This issue isn't rocket science that would fly over their heads, we have seen these topics over and over. The aim is most times the same- to bash ladies, not necessarily to seek their opinion.

My head is very okay

No one talked bout you not fitting in .... I'm just talking about intricacies of home , work especially kids and motherly attention they require ... All these might shift ya focus away from social media and that is psychologically speaking .... Verily, You will look back at some of your posts and laugh !! ....

it is a social media and not many Nigerian ladies are actually interested in posting their opinion .... what is d population of female on Nairaland (Excluding gender trolls) ... how many of you guys are actually active across threads ..... Many get easily cowed !!

The beautiful times I cherish ya head most is when it is talking Banking/Finance among others ... and e dey touch well attimes !!

DonroxyII:
No one talked bout you fitting in .... I'm just talking about intricacies of home , work especially kids and motherly attention they require ... All these might shift ya focus away from social media and that is psychologically speaking .... Verily, You will look back at some of your posts and laugh !! .... marital duties despite outsourcing and also More maturity as you aged will redefine some values for you and many things that are of interest to you presently might disinterest you as times goes on .

If they bash them, they should bark back ... it is a social media and not many Nigerian ladies are actually interested in posting their opinion .... what is d population of female on Nairaland (Excluding gender trolls) ... how many of you guys are actually active across threads ..... Many get easily cowed !!

yeah, As for ya head , e dey touch to me oo sometimes ...... The beautiful times I cherish it most is when it is talking Banking/Finance among others ...

My values are very well intact. I am very aware of the posts I make and my reasons for making every single one of them . If I drop out of NL, it will most likely be about disinterest than any other thing. I have little or no presence on SM, NL is my go to place for gossip and raw knowledge too. So, I will be very available here. But the day I master how to get premium content from IG and Twitter, that might be the end of my NL life. There are less toxic males there.

Biko, tell your brothers to stop bullying them.

Once again, my head is very okay. Thanks for agreeing it has some good output

Lol you guys should let women be. Lol ladies we just want our self worth validated that's why we're obsessed with any topics about you. See how we're hanging marriage on your necks lol. Just bear with us men Biko. We can't live without you. Yeah, I just said that.

One way to approach this reasonably is from an individual angle.

The individual has to be clear about their wants and knowledge of what it will cost them.

This has no one size answer, it depends solely on what the individual decide for themselves.

Its important the individual gets informed on the benefits and consequences of each choice. It affords them time & agency to deal or bear with whatever cost comes with the choices made.

Any one of those choices can be placed above the other with valid backing reasons.
Just be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of picking one over the other.

If you want to finish at the top of the mountain of your chosen career path, forget marriage, this one I'm sure of.
You can make do with late marriage and adopted kids if that appeals to you.

Getting to the top and being there requires a huge amount of time dedicated towards it Which will definitely encroach into any family time you plan to have.

Combining both means sacrificing being at your best in any of them.
Regardless, An average effort in both areas can bring in satisfactory results.

You mustn't be the greatest in your field or at home to make an impact. A positive one preferably.

troy20:
Lol you guys should let women be. Lol ladies we just want our self worth validated that's why we're obsessed with any topics about you. See how we're hanging marriage on your necks lol. Just bear with us men Biko. We can't live without you. Yeah, I just said that.

Hah!!! Thank you!!!!!!

ogongogames:


Fair enough. I don't dispute what you've stated.

I don't blame them but find it bizarre that one can put marriage before overall happiness. It's like there is more focus on the idea of being marriage rather than what it truly entails. Nigeria is very "clique" society, there are certain expectation based on who you are. I just find it surprising the strong grip it has on people's choices.

What should surprise you is the loose grip it has on some people.

Also im curious about what you mean by overall happiness?

Newguyhere:
it's you women that turn young guys into monsters.
In most cases, most young men start out as being very good lover's.

Noone starts out as a saint, all man are monsters and this includes women.

We strive to become good regardless of our monstrous nature

So, those guys weren't good lovers but naive lovers and there's a difference.

LagosismyHome:
Why is a man writing all these is what i want to know.......................... Leave women to decide which comes first biko, also with the way the world is going it becoming an individual choice and not what you can make general statement . Also why does it have to be one before the other and not both done together

Been a while. How are you doing?

bindukwe:


What should surprise you is the loose grip it has on some people.

Also im curious about what you mean by overall happiness?

I feel that "true" happiness is lies with contentment in who we are. It's the mental aspect. From my observations, a lot of people are rushing into marriage when they are not even happy themselves, thinking that it will fill the void in their lives. If you were unhappy with yourself before marriage, this won't change afterwards.

ireneidiva:

The women around you must really be terrible.

Very very terrible, including those around me on Nairaland, of which you are not an exception .

For me, I really hope to achieve both simultaneously and strike a healthy balance between both. Choosing career over marriage means I might never marry as it would take 10 years or more to reach the peak of my career. In the same vein, neglecting career for marriage means I will never be a fulfilled woman. Being able to combine both is the best bet

ogongogames:


I feel that "true" happiness is lies with contentment in who we are. It's the mental aspect. From my observations, a lot of people are rushing into marriage when they are not even happy themselves, thinking that it will fill the void in their lives. If you were unhappy with yourself before marriage, this won't change afterwards.

I've struggled with that word happiness for a while. Its something that we pursue that really means nothing.

What can be considered happiness? The positive emotions you feel when something good happens or a mood thing?

Its not self evident that life is something to make man happy.
Here and there, you feel on top of the world and the next day you come crashing down.

You don't need to scratch beyond the surface to find something that will trouble you for the next 24 hours.
You solve that and something larger rears its head.

If contentment is what you consider as happiness; maybe that's valid but that's not what most people see it as.
For most is a constant rush of positive emotions which is never sustainable and leads to even steeper falls

bindukwe:



I've struggled with that word happiness for a while. Its something that we pursue that really means nothing.

What can be considered happiness? The positive emotions you feel when something good happens or a mood thing?

Its not self evident that life is something to make man happy.
Here and there, you feel on top of the world and the next day you come crashing down.

You don't need to scratch beyond the surface to find something that will trouble you for the next 24 hours.
You solve that and something larger rears its head.

If contentment is what you consider as happiness; maybe that's valid but that's not what most people see it as.
For most is a constant rush of positive emotions which is never sustainable and leads to even steeper falls

You views are entirely fair and I agree,

Contentment is my happiness, understanding and accepting who I am as an individual has allowed me to make huge strides in life over the last few years. I know my strengths and weaknesses and embrace them, I am not in competition with anybody nor trying to emulate anyone. My goal in life is to be the best version of myself.

ogongogames:


You views are entirely fair and I agree,

Contentment is my happiness, understanding and accepting who I am as an individual has allowed me to make huge strides in life over the last few years. I know my strengths and weaknesses and embrace them, I am not in competition with anybody nor trying to emulate anyone. My goal in life is to be the best version of myself.

Which is a worthy goal and a game you're sure of winning.
You can't beat others at being them.

People tend towards comparisons with people they don't know eg with celebrities or influencers on social media.
Which never ends well, you find yourself a supporting actor in another man's play.

sassysure:

If u live in a highly patriarchal society called Nigeria, will notice that men are scared of women who are rich, as u get older, suitors reduce, u will also factor in childbirth problems. It doesn't favour women but we know how we swing the pendulum as not to hit us. My cousin is a medical Dr, got married during her residency. Practicing outside the country with her husband. One said she dont want to work buy trade, that babe is richer than all of us combined. She has 5 kid. They can go on holiday anywhere they want to. So many examples. U are into fashion designing, how do that stop u from getting married?
There is no work in Nigeria, u have finished school, a good man comes your way, hold that first and continue.
As u are job hunting and doing small small things, u don drop one. If job no gree come, u can start a trade. Go to big markets and stores and see women doing wonders.
Look at Linda ikeji. She said she regretted saying no cos she was pursuing money and career. She is a baby mama now. How low can that be?

There are people here who said the same thing last 4 yrs, they have changed monikers and still saying the same thing
No man is ever good for them

God help us. A man being broke scales him
A woman being rich scares him more.
No man wants insult.

The more successful a woman becomes, the mire a man sees her as a threat. And look at our CHIMAMANDA

All these our Nairaland guys ehn, they can really vex somebody.

So, you guys know that a young woman choosing marriage is actually backpedaling or even sacrificing her career, because of the enormous work involved in raising children and nurturing a family; yet you use same mouth to ask what women bring to the table. If your wife travels for whatever reason for 1 month, leaving your 3 kids, all below 7 years, for you to take care of, can you handle the home front and still perform optimally at work during this period?

Many married men are successful in their respective careers because their spouses backpedaled on theirs. Yet, you won't see them opening threads to commend their wives, it is always one complaint or the other.

Our young women, please don't break your backs trying to raise families and at the same time rise to the peak of your careers. It is too big a task for one person, and even our men do not attempt it. Just try to blend the two paths however much you can; have a family that gives you joy when life gets tough, and have a job/business that helps you support your family.

Stop trying to prove anything to anybody. Be you, and do what works best for you.

Both can't come at the same time...
Its developmental... But marriage should be a priority...

Loneliness is evil

Ezeanna:
All these our Nairaland guys ehn, they can really vex somebody.

So, you guys know that a young woman choosing marriage is actually backpedaling or even sacrificing her career, because of the enormous work involved in raising children and nurturing a family; yet you use same mouth to ask what women bring to the table. If your wife travels for whatever reason for 1 month, leaving your 3 kids, all below 7 years, for you to take care of, can you handle the home front and still perform optimally at work during this period?

Many married men are successful in their respective careers because their spouses backpedaled on theirs. Yet, you won't see them opening threads to commend their wives, it is always one complaint or the other.

Our young women, please don't break your backs trying to raise families and at the same time rise to the peak of your careers. It is too big a task for one person, and even our men do not attempt it. Just try to blend the two paths however much you can; have a family that gives you joy when life gets tough, and have a job/business that helps you support your family.

Stop trying to prove anything to anybody. Be you, and do what works best for you.

Most thoughtful comment I've read all year! Thank you!

chigoizie7:



Very very terrible, including those around me on Nairaland, of which you are not an exception .

Who says I'm a woman?

I hate it when I see all these misogynist spreading lies about women seeing menopause at 30 and 35 just to shame women, abeg I want to know where you see such women? Menopause is women begins from 45 to 55 years, few women do get to 60 before they even see menopause.
The case of 35 years seeing menopause is very very rare and can be related to an health condition

As for me carrier before marriage don't want to be a liability and end up receiving trash from any man named husband, the goal is to become a millionaire before marriage. There is no joy than breathing air as a financial stable and independent woman

ImaIma1:


Say something new now. This Shiloh mantra is getting old and stale

Next time you see that "ExplosiveSkull" handle, just avoid me please.

troy20:
Lol you guys should let women be. Lol ladies we just want our self worth validated that's why we're obsessed with any topics about you. See how we're hanging marriage on your necks lol. Just bear with us men Biko. We can't live without you. Yeah, I just said that.

Now this is one thing these ladies don't understand, that most of our comments about them is to make them not to forget we can't even survive without them, they all go flagrant ,flaring and defensive without thinking in-between lines at the end poisoning the whole fun.
I pray they get wisdom, Most sane men don't care about a woman who is career oriented or marriage oriented once he is comfortable with the woman's ideologies, we can go on to support whatever they feel is their dreams. Most of them often stop dreaming when they get married, that is a problem but most sane men ignore that cos we feel it is cos of our family that they've made such compromise.

Richdad50:


The noise about choosing a career before marriage or vice versa makes no sense. What should concern you is balancing the two phenomenon.

I have seen women put in the hours at work and rose to the top of their dreams without any effect on how they run their families. You can work hard without closing too late and you can further your studies and still save your family the suffering. The pitfalls comes when you invest your whole entirety into one thing.

The joy of a successful woman is the story of a supportive family but a woman who neglects hers will be lonely at the top. Victory is sweetest in the company of genuine cheers.

It is the duty of a man to support her dreams and the wife's to balance her duties. What a woman needs to flourish in career is a supportive spouse. Why can't you imagine both my dear.

Richdad

Richdad for President!!!!

explosiveskull:

Next time you see that "ExplosiveSkull" handle, just avoid me please.

And next time you see "imaima1", do the same and don't respond