TheRedpillguy:

True this people are close to you, have more experience. And they are just trying to look out for you. Litsen from it, pick what is important discard what is not and say thank you for caring. Don't go like its none of your business. That's just say am a bitter person and I hate people

Look, instead of repeating what someone told you like a parrot, all these recycled opinions about women and what they should do, work on yourself and your grammar and spelling before you try to advise other people. Trust me, you will be better off for it. You sound pathetic.

Ishilove:

LMFAO.

Come poco, who did you inherit this insane sense of humor from? Mum or dad?

My mum
My dad is a very quiet man.

Duru009:
Balance is the KEY, evenif you have all the money in this world without a man by side. Society will not respact you. Because more than 90% of people will certainly believe that you slept your way to the TOP !

When it comes to woman, TIME is vital !

Ma broda,career isn't about money,career is you doing work you love and finding fulfillment in it.When you have found fulfillment,to hell with what people think or say.

GoldenEstacy:
In my own opinion, both are important. It's better that one finds a partner while pushing a career. Both can go together, especially if you meet a partner who wants you to also grow.
I personally, will try to manage both and settle with the person.

Brilliant answer.

But most ladies find it hard to balance both and they abuse it when they get such partner, as they grow they change towards their partner.

pocohantas:


My mum
My dad is a very quiet man.

No wonder poco hates loud men. Her first love was the stoic silent type

Be balanced about it. If you have little to support him, i will suggest marriage should be a priority. When married you can now further your career.

Marriage comes first,then Career,then Which.

Yonce:


Nigerian ladies didn't wake up one day and collectively decide to obsess about marriage.

The society, their nuclear and extended families and even strangers place this huge burden of finding a husband on them.
If she's without a husband at a certain age, she's no better than a leper. . .and so you can't blame them for avoiding stigmatization by thinking/obsessing about marriage 24/7

Fair enough. I don't dispute what you've stated.

I don't blame them but find it bizarre that one can put marriage before overall happiness. It's like there is more focus on the idea of being marriage rather than what it truly entails. Nigeria is very "clique" society, there are certain expectation based on who you are. I just find it surprising the strong grip it has on people's choices.

papiforreal:

In Islam, her money is hers alone, and your money is for the whole family

Is that not witchcraft?

pocohantas:


Why will they answer, when before you say jack- one (m) is on your tail with insults. They done bully all the females into inactiveness. Na them come dey hide behind female accts now. Last last, una go knack unasef. We will leave NL for una

U won't go anywhere unless u get busy with life ... maybe marry and born pikin ... U sabi how to claim land na

Most female Nlanders are being African girls who get cowed easily .... it all begin from home though .... They should learn to face their fears and conquer ... ..... Even those ones that are not bully are mostly uninterested in issues like this .... Alot of ladies out there are confused .... They are what the society defined for them !!

That is why I like you despite say ur head dey touch wellwell above others !!

ornicus:


Women older than 30 are not hot? This is why I call most of you ghetto dwellers. You think All women over 30 are living under the poverty level? There are PLENTY of ladies I knew in school who are over 30 and way hotter than they were as undergraduates. Why? Because they have money now. Big pun said it best. A lady with money has access to great skin care, reduced physical stress, lovely clothes.

I don't even know why I am trying to explain this to you anyway. Where do you think the word milf comes from? Ugly women over 30?

I'm sure he didn't mean women over 30 are literally not hot. I think he meant they tend to have fewer suitors and even with all their wealth, it becomes increasingly difficult to settle down as they age.
That doesn't of course mean some don't eventually settle down but the pool of available men become much smaller.

As Marilyn Monroe said as far back as 1952, "Men grow cold as women grow old"
That is the harsh reality of life.

ogongogames:


Fair enough. I don't dispute what you've stated.

I don't blame them but find it bizarre that one can put marriage before overall happiness. It's like there is more focus on the idea of being marriage rather than what it truly entails. Nigeria is very "clique" society, there are certain expectation based on who you are. I just find it surprising the strong grip it has on people's choices.

A wise woman once said, "A career is wonderful and all but you can't curl up with it on a cold night."

pocohantas:


Why will they answer, when before you say jack- one (m) is on your tail with insults. They done bully all the females into inactiveness. Na them come dey hide behind female accts now. Last last, una go knack unasef. We will leave NL for una



Nah, I was just being mischievous. I believe a man can love a woman. I do not believe so many men genuinely love their women or the women they marry.

@bold

Very correct.

chigoizie7:
Come and see all of them shouting career.

But none of them is pursuing any. Well, except for olosho careers .

The women around you must really be terrible.

Yonce:


I'm sure he didn't mean women over 30 are literally not hot. I think he meant they tend to have fewer suitors and even with all their wealth, it becomes increasingly difficult to settle down as they age.
That doesn't of course mean some don't eventually settle down but the pool of available men become much smaller.

As Marilyn Monroe said as far back as 1952, "Men grow cold as women grow old"
That is the harsh reality of life.

Hehe well don't mind that NYSC guy. Truth is women sexual value in anywhere in the world is the same. They are hot from 17 then when they get to 30, they are not hot. The people that rush you to get married know this becouse they know, you will have a better choice of a man when you are young, cus then. U have a pool of men that are just inline. When you get old thou, that pool dry up real quick and you are left with those potbelly, soyboy, turd etc. Nobody cares how much money woman have, if she is not young and beautiful. She is invincible

I gave a personal story where my sisters friend was hustled into getting married early by her mother. Today she is married hopefully happily, but she has never left Ilorin. My sis is married, in the us. Her other friend is happily married and in the us. Doctors. Great marriages great pay. They were lucky not to be born to families with empty headed parents talking nonsense about the sexual value of women. You know what that nonsense sounds like? What a slave trader would say. Guess what, anyone, man or woman, you get older, more successful, the pool available to you will shrink because you have grown.

Yonce:


A wise woman once said, "A career is wonderful and all but you can't curl up with it on a cold night."

you think your only role as a man/ human being is to be curled up against at night? Do you know what a comforter is?

Chidorx60:
Ladies just say the truth its marriage...

If career delays their parents can provide the needful and for thoes who don't fear God their sugar daddies can..

But for marriage any slight delay na Shiloh ground or prayer mountains

Not every lady's parents have the capacity to provide for them... Have been fending for my self and even parents since I left school.
So you expect me while still trying to find my feet to go and get married.
Wisdom is profitable to direct

Pizzlelight:

Not every lady's parents have the capacity to provide for them... Have been fending for my self and even parents since I left school.
So you expect me while still trying to find my feet to go and get married.
Wisdom is profitable to direct

Ofcoures dear ....in every case their is an exception......but imagine a scenario were u find a man who loves you and whom you love and this guy is well to do, will u refuse marriage

safarigirl:
Career

Once I have established myself, I can enter marriage knowing I have something to offer my partner. It is hard to find footing in your career after marriage.

I don't want to be anyone's liability, so, I would rather I have built myself to a reasonable extent, before joining forces with anyone

Safe journey
My dear very female good friend (name withheld) is still careerist till date, after our graduation since 2011. Suitors have come and gone.
Career is carrying her now

ornicus:


No wonder poco hates loud men. Her first love was the stoic silent type

I don't like silent men either. A mixture of both is perfect.

ornicus:


you think your only role as a man/ human being is to be curled up against at night? Do you know what a comforter is?

Comforter won't replace human contact.
Why have a comforter when you can have a man? Who says having a man and a career is mutually exclusive?

pocohantas:


My mum
My dad is a very quiet man.

nnaeyes6:


Safe journey
My dear very female good friend (name withheld) is still careerist till date, after our graduation since 2011. Suitors have come and gone.
Career is carrying her now

I left school at that time. All our circle of friends were getting married to their desired men one after the other and at the same time preparing for service. One of us said she will dive into masters after service and pursue career. We finished service, almost all of us got married and started work. She went back for her masters. Like 3 started masters part-time alternating with work. She stayed in my house during one interview. The guy that wanted to marry her( this guy has been pleading and crying and had known her from childhood), she refused. We begged her. It's always career. Today, she is still doing career. We all are married with our respective jobs.
Anytime we chat, I will tell her don't lose hope. Her younger sister is married while in school.

U use your sense in Nigeria.
Some are where they are because of their husbands help.
There is nothing I desire to achieve now I can't aspire for.
How many people in Nigeria has career jobs?
Very few. No be to get job that pays the bill and life goes on?
Who said u can't get that as a married woman. Any man who don't help build u is never your husband.
Ur husband will desire that u grow and will help u.
I didn't wait for any career. I dived into marriage and continued the job hunt and never regretted it.

Lots of people that insist on career do so because nobody they liked or who lived up to their expectations came. If they had seen the type of men they fantasized about, to hell with career
I'm a woman so we know how it rolls

sassysure:


I left school at that time. All our circle of friends were getting married to their desired men one after the other and at the same time preparing for service. One of us said she will dive into masters after service and pursue career. We finished service, almost all of us got married and started work. She went back for her masters. Like 3 started masters part-time alternating with work. She stayed in my house during one interview. The guy that wanted to marry her( this guy has been pleading and crying and had known her from childhood), she refused. We begged her. It's always career. Today, she is still doing career. We all are married with our respective jobs.
Anytime we chat, I will tell her don't lose hope. Her younger sister is married while in school.

U use your sense in Nigeria.
Some are where they are because of their husbands help.
There is nothing I desire to achieve now I can't aspire for.
How many people in Nigeria has career jobs?
Very few. No be to get job that pays the bill and life goes on?
Who said u can't get that as a married woman. Any man who don't help build u is never your husband.
Ur husband will desire that u grow and will help u.
I didn't wait for any career. I dived into marriage and continued the job hunt and never regretted it.

Lots of people that insist on career do so because nobody they liked or who lived up to their expectations came. If they had seen the type of men they fantasized about, to hell with career
I'm a woman so we know how it rolls

U just nailed it.
Going to university has already wasted like 4/5 years of ur life as a Woman and some are still thinking about career. Get a hubby, Start a family. Tell ur husband what u want to do. If it is work, good and if it is to start a business, he will support you, especially, this time that women help their husbands in bringing things to the table.


Let me be frank about girls I have met including in my church. Most are over 30yrs and are wanting to marry, but men actually want the younger ones. Some men who want the 30s and above are those who feel to settle down with ladies born in 1980s for their personal reasons.

I have 3 sisters in particular that are of ages 39,36,34 that are not married but are doing fine career wise. Each time I have conversations with them I just feel pain for them. They want husbands but none is coming. And they told me suitors were coming but they wanted to be comfortable before they marry. Interestingly, the first daughter is married with grown up kids and she is working and the husband is also working too.

It therefore pains me when I here a woman position career before husband after wasting years already in the university.
Ask ur parents the age they got married. I think it will help to run into one now u have time.
Anyway, husbands are even scarce so CAREER LADIES are always victims turned feminists.

If I tell you, what will you give me?

nnaeyes6:



U just nailed it.
Going to university has already wasted like 4/5 years of ur life as a Woman and some are still thinking about career. Get a hubby, Start a family. Tell ur husband what u want to do. If it is work, good and if it is to start a business, he will support you, especially, this time that women help their husbands in bringing things to the table.


Let me be frank about girls I have met including in my church. Most are over 30yrs and are wanting to marry, but men actually want the younger ones. Some men who want the 30s and above are those who feel to settle down with ladies born in 1980s for their personal reasons.

I have 3 sisters in particular that are of ages 39,36,34 that are not married but are doing fine career wise. Each time I have conversations with them I just feel pain for them. They want husbands but none is coming. And they told me suitors were coming but they wanted to be comfortable before they marry. Interestingly, the first daughter is married with grown up kids and she is working and the husband is also working too.

It therefore pains me when I here a woman position career before husband after wasting years already in the university.
Ask ur parents the age they got married. I think it will help to run into one now u have time.
Anyway, husbands are even scarce so CAREER LADIES are always victims turned feminists.

If u live in a highly patriarchal society called Nigeria, will notice that men are scared of women who are rich, as u get older, suitors reduce, u will also factor in childbirth problems. It doesn't favour women but we know how we swing the pendulum as not to hit us. My cousin is a medical Dr, got married during her residency. Practicing outside the country with her husband. One said she dont want to work buy trade, that babe is richer than all of us combined. She has 5 kid. They can go on holiday anywhere they want to. So many examples. U are into fashion designing, how do that stop u from getting married?
There is no work in Nigeria, u have finished school, a good man comes your way, hold that first and continue.
As u are job hunting and doing small small things, u don drop one. If job no gree come, u can start a trade. Go to big markets and stores and see women doing wonders.
Look at Linda ikeji. She said she regretted saying no cos she was pursuing money and career. She is a baby mama now. How low can that be?

There are people here who said the same thing last 4 yrs, they have changed monikers and still saying the same thing
No man is ever good for them

Mindfulness:


Look, instead of repeating what someone told you like a parrot, all these recycled opinions about women and what they should do, work on yourself and your grammar and spelling before you try to advise other people. Trust me, you will be better off for it. You sound pathetic.

Thank you for pointing that out for me. Will surely work on it. English is not my first language, but I hope you got the massage? I don't understand when you said I was repeating something like a parrot. Is that a smart people thing. Cus I don't get it. Anyways. Am all about free birds, not telling you what you should do. Just telling you to move fast. And am telling you what people think before they say what they say. Honestly with all that attitude you put up, I don't know what you are going for. Is that a strong and independent woman thing?

Both goes hand in hand..one must be able to balance it..

Richdad50:


The noise about choosing a career before marriage or vice versa makes no sense. What should concern you is balancing the two phenomenon.

I have seen women put in the hours at work and rose to the top of their dreams without any effect on how they run their families. You can work hard without closing too late and you can further your studies and still save your family the suffering. The pitfalls comes when you invest your whole entirety into one thing.

The joy of a successful woman is the story of a supportive family but a woman who neglects hers will be lonely at the top. Victory is sweetest in the company of genuine cheers.

It is the duty of a man to support her dreams and the wife's to balance her duties. What a woman needs to flourish in career is a supportive spouse. Why can't you imagine both my dear.

Richdad

sassysure:

If u live in a highly patriarchal society called Nigeria, will notice that men are scared of women who are rich, as u get older, suitors reduce, u will also factor in childbirth problems. It doesn't favour women but we know how we swing the pendulum as not to hit us. My cousin is a medical Dr, got married during her residency. Practicing outside the country with her husband. One said she dont want to work buy trade, that babe is richer than all of us combined. She has 5 kid. They can go on holiday anywhere they want to. So many examples. U are into fashion designing, how do that stop u from getting married?
There is no work in Nigeria, u have finished school, a good man comes your way, hold that first and continue.
As u are job hunting and doing small small things, u don drop one. If job no gree come, u can start a trade. Go to big markets and stores and see women doing wonders.
Look at Linda ikeji. She said she regretted saying no cos she was pursuing money and career. She is a baby mama now. How low can that be?

There are people here who said the same thing last 4 yrs, they have changed monikers and still saying the same thing
No man is ever good for them

Men are not scared of women who have money(Jesus) the gym wea I work out, there are rich women their coming everyday. But it dosnt take a day to make money. Men don't care about a woman having money. As long as you are young beautiful, inteligent, in shape (not fat) men will want you, no matter the money you think you have, there is a single man with more money. But men with more money or usual money don't want women with money, they want young girls that don't even have a dime. Again, be young and beautiful. The men without money don't want a woman with money. But they will like a young beautiful girl with money thou. Back to the gym. I have regular girls, beautiful girls that are in shape. I talk to those alot, don't mean am afraid with the ones with money thou. Am good looking, am doing good for myself, can afford anything I want . so I have no reason to be afraid of a woman. Sometimes I don't even notice these women in the gym until they ask me for help. So defnetly men are not afraid. Men don't just want old women. Cus the brain on default recognize old women as non fertile

TheRedpillguy:

Thank you for pointing that out for me. Will surely work on it. English is not my first language, but I hope you got the massage? I don't understand when you said I was repeating something like a parrot. Is that a smart people thing. Cus I don't get it. Anyways. Am all about free birds, not telling you what you should do. Just telling you to move fast. And am telling you what people think before they say what they say. Honestly with all that attitude you put up, I don't know what you are going for. Is that a strong and independent woman thing?

Did you honestly think that your opinion about women on this thread is something we have never read? We have been reading the same boring stuff for years now. We have read countless times how we should fear menopause and how you will desire us less. Do you seriously think we didn't know menopause would come?

And then you act as if anyone needs your advice. Who the f*ck are you to dish out unsolicited advice on a thread created for ladies? Who asked you? Let me tell you something Redpillguy, cause your name says it all, you have been rejected by women several times, now you are projecting your frustration on ladies hoping they will experience the same when they get older but I can assure you that with your mindset and attitude you will be even rejected past menopause and dance to the tune of those of us who have built successful careers. Mark my words.

Now go and sin no more son.

explosiveskull:
Most of them will pretend that career comes first but I don't know what they are doing in Shiloh, synagogue of all nations and all these prayer houses during a hot afternoon when they should be pursing their career.

Say something new now. This Shiloh mantra is getting old and stale