akoraye:


Thanks but I'm talking about is the my wife passed a night in her mother's house and the mother did not deem it fit to ask me why

theButterfly:
That's not a bad idea but it should be a mutual/joint effort. You're clearly the one who always tries to make peace when she's at fault, which is why she'll continue to behave in this manner. You should be more concerned about nipping her bad behavior in the bud before it worsens and holding her accountability for her actions, otherwise you'll always be the one apologizing when she's wrong. Your attempt to apologize after she hung up on you instead of her calling you back to apologize or at least give you the same courtesy, and to shift the blame to the mother shows you're the one who has been encouraging it. When people become adults, they likewise become responsible for their own actions. You cannot be blaming her mother for being a single mother or for not asking you why the daughter passed the night at her place. It's not the mother's responsibility to be asking you why she was there [she could've even assumed you knew about it] or giving you any explanation.

Sanchez01:

Like I earlier mentioned, it is your home and you shouldn't even be bothered about why the mother hasn't called you.

She probably painted a picture that all wasn't well with you guys, which was why she went over there.

You waiting for your MIL to call you is almost the same as you wanting her to step in and resolve the situation. She shouldn't. For all it's worth, she might have been rebuked and even cautioned by her mother for acting the way she did, who knows?

Kindly make peace and settle whatever it is with her. She should be your focus, not your MIL or your friend.

Richy4:
If this was what really happened, then you married a first class brat sorry to say it aloud.I don't know the word to use because it's annoying .. She should be very happy that she met and married a level headed guy who has the decency to apologise to her even when you were not wrong.. I don't know why I have the feeling that you were always quick to apologise that's why she was always waiting for it.

Just being curious, was that an Oxford or Cambridge exams that she went to write?

She must be really really beautiful for u to take this nonsense.. I don't know if u truly know the meaning of locking someone out deliberately. It means whatever happened to u, I don't care. U deserve what comes to u.. just so you know. U can take all the crap but don't take when someone wants to in danger your life in the name of love.

I will suggest that you sit her down and let her know that the sun those not rise and set because she said so.. In a cool but steady voice let her know that you will never tolerate that kinda behaviour especially the one of locking u outside.. After saying that storm inside the bedroom, take your car keys and drive to the ocean, river or stream. Water has a way of calming people down.. Don't go to the bar..

If she doesn't apologise when u get back, Ignore her to register your displeasure... If she serves u food eat it, after eating wash the plate yourself without a word...For the first time, this situation warrant 1 day of silent treatment.. let her initiate the talking this time around.. Don't jump into talking to her yet and observe what her reactions would be. If she apologises, take it immediately. If she doesn't ignore her and observe her some more.
This is how to Educate a brat who thinks the world revolves around her.

Also try and make another copy of the house keys.

hakeemhakeem:

because you did not called to know if she with her,you should have called your wife and if she didnt pick up is another thing an adage says (ejo la ko ka to ko ja )you must learn defensive words before you fight what if terrible things had happened to her on her way

akoraye:


Thanks so much. On the issue of locking out, She knew that I had my own spare key on me. Not that I didn't sleep at home that night, I absolutely slept at home because I had my own spare key with me.

Richy4:


Oh!! Ok then. You got me confused.. I thought you were left stranded infront of your home....So now, I don't understand the second issues that u raised.. Let us just pause the first issues which was the calling accusations for a while..which to me is her being a wife.

Why was this thread created? were you angry that your wife was not at home when she was surposed to be there or that she did not welcome you and pet you so much for coming back by 9:25, What do you want? Explain it to me as if I was an 8 year old..Because if you want people to help you bash your wife, you came to the right forum.

Acidosis:

1. [b]When you marry a woman raised by a single mother, you need to read some special books, take on some special training/lessons,[/b]and exhibit special characters. The modalities required for living with one with a father figure are completely different bro. With a father figure, she wouldn't even dare to leave your house in the first place. This is why some men avoid women like your wife.

2. Are you sure she actually slept in her mother's house?


3. It is possible she lied to her mother as per her reasons for sleeping over at her place. So keep calm till you get the details.

akoraye:
Nairalanders I will like to go straight to my point in order not to waste your time. I'm married with children, my wife is the only child of her single mother, we used to have little issues since our wedding which I believe it's a natural thing in marriage and I have been managing them. My wife is not a wayward type which I've confirmed to some extent but a very stubborn one. Straight to the point now! last three weeks she traveled for an exam and I went to work that morning after 3 hours that she left,she called me to challenge me that I've not deem it fit to call her to know how she is doing and she dropped the call immediately she accused me, I picked my phone Immediately to apologise to her which decided not to pick my call till she came back. Since then she has started to behave arrogantly at home and I didn't want to report the issue to her mother. Three days ago I went to a friend's party/ceremony which she knew about and I came back around 9:25pm only to meet my house door locked and my wife was no where to be found, I decided not to call her because I was quite sure she has gone to her mother's house to sleep (first time since our wedding though) She eventually came back the following morning and went straight to her shop which I built for her in front of the house without even coming inside if I'm there or not. I just kept my calm, expecting her mother's action about it because I believe courtesy demands her mother to ask me why her daughter could do such but up till now the mother has not asked me anything which I told a friend which my friend told me to exercise patient but I'm not convenient of her arrogance at home. Please advise me because I don't want do any stupid thing but I'm infuriated which I'm finding difficult to calm.

akoraye:


Thanks but I'm talking about is the my wife passed a night in her mother's house and the mother did not deem it fit to ask me why

akoraye:


� What I'm saying is that since then 1my MIL has not asked me why my wife decided to come and pass a night in her house. 2. Her arrogance at home now is on a high side purposely because I decided not to behave funny!

akoraye:


Thanks! we used to communicate well whenever we are in good terms. she's too stubborn

akoraye:


Thanks but I'm talking about is the my wife passed a night in her mother's house and the mother did not deem it fit to ask me why

Lonelypacifist6:
Seriously the bolded is completely true but unfortunately there's no such book, My MIL Raised 4 girls alone From 3 different fathers that woman is strong

Kirinwa:


Strong or wayward?

crackhaus:



This is why I love being around people with a very peculiar orientation.
If that woman was married to some people I know, she will continue sleeping in her mother's house until the same mother calls to ask what is going on... then the family meeting can commence from there.

The first question they will ask the mother is, what kind of responsible mother receives her married daughter into her home for the night without at least calling up her son-in-law to confirm his knowledge of it?

Acidosis:

1. When you marry a woman raised by a single mother, you need to read some special books, take on some special training/lessons, and exhibit special characters. The modalities required for living with one with a father figure are completely different bro. With a father figure, she wouldn't even dare to leave your house in the first place. This is why some men avoid women like your wife.

2. Are you sure she actually slept in her mother's house?


3. It is possible she lied to her mother as per her reasons for sleeping over at her place. So keep calm till you get the details.

akoraye:


Alright thanks

kaziblake:
I thought you were more matured than.. This comment is so disappointing or do you wanna spoil his marriage?

baby124:
OP,
You are rude and condescending. See how you described your wife and her parents status? If you knew that marrying a woman who was raised by a single mother was a problem then why marry her? I am sure for you to mention this on a public forum with so much ease, you must say it to her face. This is why her mother is an easy target for you to use to deflect from your communication issues with your wife! Keep your MIL out of your issues.

If my child came to my house and needed a place to stay, I will grant her a place to stay. She’s an adult and can decide if she wants me to be involved in her issues or not.

Richy4:


OK bro. I will start with the second issue that you raised which was arrogance.. Hmmm!!!
Let us look at Nigerian population, how many numbers were single ladies in Nigeria? So Out of those single ladies population, u saw her, chose her, had a relationship with her, and decided to marry her.. Meaning that u saw all the arrogant tendencies, attitude problem and u went ahead and got married.... So why are you complaining now?
Please don't tell me that she was not like that when you were courting her because only a 5 year old might believe that

Now the second issue which was your mother inlaw, Has it occurred to you that maybe she doesn't want to interfere in her daughter's marriage anymore so that she won't end up being single? Besides if your wife was not picking your calls, did u call your mother inlaw that your wife's phone was not reachable that u wanted to know if she was there...

I will suggest that you let the sleeping dog lie.. Don't use your hands to invite third parties into your marriage. It will make the marriage over crowded. U have already started listening to friends telling u that your wife may or may not has slept in her mother's house.. U are simply inviting trouble for yourself and your relationship if u keep up with telling however that cares to listen what was transpiring at your home... U know your Wife better than anyone that was trying to sow a seed of discord between you two. Be careful. I think I'm done. Have a wonderful day.

baby124:
OP,
You are rude and condescending. See how you described your wife and her parents status? If you knew that marrying a woman who was raised by a single mother was a problem then why marry her? I am sure for you to mention this on a public forum with so much ease, you must say it to her face. This is why her mother is an easy target for you to use to deflect from your communication issues with your wife! Keep your MIL out of your issues.

If my child came to my house and needed a place to stay, I will grant her a place to stay. She’s an adult and can decide if she wants me to be involved in her issues or not.

Rubby007:
well to me my thought is maybe her mummy played a big row in her returning back home the following day don't let us judge her base on assumption

Acidosis:



Na dem. Why won't your daughter in laws hate you all. Your married son will walk to your home to pass the night, leaving his wife and kids behind and you will grant him a space without questioning? You wouldn't call his wife (your so called daughter) that he left behind at home?


Who raised you--people??

Acidosis:



Na dem. Why won't your daughter in laws hate you all. Your married son will walk to your home to pass the night, leaving his wife and kids behind and you will grant him a space without questioning? You wouldn't call his wife (your so called daughter) that he left behind at home?


Who raised you--people??

akoraye:


Thanks! I told her mother that I've been calling my and she's not picking it which my MIL aswered me that she just spoke to her daughter not quite long that she will soon come. Meaning she could pick up her mother's call and neglected mine.

baby124:

Why will you marry a woman you cannot talk to? Without blaming all the forces in the universe for your problems? In-laws should not be EXPECTED to force themselves into your business except you call them into it and it’s a life or death issue. Leave the mother alone and learn to face your issues squarely. What even concerns the OP with the mothers relationship issue I can’t even imagine the guts of people like you! You think because a family accepted you by marriage gives you the right to come in to judge their lives and blame them for your problems? I don’t care if my daughter in laws hate me o.

If my son needs a place to stay and he shows up at my house, I will give him a place to stay and feed him. He is my son and I will not cast him out when he needs me. I trust him to bring me in when necessary. I know my place. Same daughter in law will hate me for always intruding in their business and trying to control her home with unsolicited intrusion.

By the way, who raised you? They obviously did not do a good job for you to go around asking people that question. You are a silly boy.