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Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) - Family - Nairaland

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Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 4:50pm On May 16
Please don't read and pass, also Pardon all my typo, I'm typing out of duress.

I am from a family of six, 3 girls, 1 boy including my parents.
I had a horrible childhood experience, My Mum (no thanks to her) was something I can't quantify, I can't start writing every of the things she did and I can't say If the religion she practiced contributed largely to the devilish attitude she put up while growing up.

My mum has no good record anywhere, in the church, with the neighbours, with her siblings, we the children, her in laws and even at work, She was always at war with people, if she dreams that someone was trying to attack her in the dream, if she sees the person the following day, she was ready to attack the person.

Also, she would curse her children at any slightest provocation and leave only my brother out(last born and spoilt), She doesn't have any good relationship with her siblings and won't allow my dad visit his family member, I remembered them (Mum and dad) always saying this (don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers). To them anyone who isn't a Christian (deeper life) is not supposed to be associated with.. My dad on countless occasion will call his mum a witch just because she was a Muslim and one of the oloyes of allasalatu(Muslims will understand this) and had nothing to do with his family members.

This went on and on like this until my elder sister moved out of the house and in the process of trying to find her feet, she got pregnant and my mom practically tormented her life, she later got married to the man, and for that act alone, she's always at logger heads with my sister and her husband..

Later, I got married and then my younger sister followed suit, leaving my dad, herself and my younger brother (whom I have disowned).

Ever since the three of us got happily married, and left the home, my dad slipped into severe depression. Although he has been depressed given lots of things he encountered, job loss, no social interaction, unforgiveness amongst others, it became severe when all his female children left, then from severe depressgion, he started having mental issues, he would wake up and leave the house talking to himself, or start preaching and going out of point with anyone he finds on the street, sometimes he would leave and come home at night, my younger brother who is supposed to comfort and help him, treats him with disdain, my mum who is supposed to check mate his excesses would leave him to his folly and now he has started standing up to her and everyone else in the house..

At 26, he doesn't know his bearing and obviously we have been seeing signs of him wanting to inherit the houses my father built in the same compound.. (and we have noticed that my mum has been making him understand that every of the property belongs to him).

The last straw which broke the camel's back happened one week ago, my elder sister ( who is 9 year older than him) took advantage of the lockdown and visited my father, he is usually exited when we are around him whc helps his severe moodiness. There and then an argument broke out between my sister and my brother, she asked why my brother was insulting our mum for an action that happened in the compound, he beat my sister up and her three children and boasted that, the rest of us (my sister and I) dare not do anything and that by the way we must stop coming to the house, that if he sees any of us He will beat us up, My mum who was supposed to resolve the matter started blaming my sister, asking her why she always love to come visiting, that she's supposed to be in her husband's house or father in laws place and immediately called her hubby to come pick her.

Its been one week my sister left for her house, my daddy who enjoyed her company when she was present started misbehaving again at home. He started roaming, he started cursing everyone.

The reason I'm writing is this, my dad is no where to be found, he left the house yesterday Friday 15th May 2020 and was last seen in ITAMAGA IKORODU, we keep trying his number but he is not picking and now his number is switched off, I'm sure he is still wandering about.

My sisters and I have decided that even when he is found(by God's grace) we do not what him to go back living with my mum and brother.

What other alternatives do we have to care for him, as his own siblings are not happy with him either for abandoning them and their mum (his own mum),, when they needed him the most..


I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST.. PLEASE HELP ME.



Modified..... My dad has been found today Sunday, 17th May 2020, my sweet mother (elder sister) found her, she has been on her feet since he went missing, luckily he was found but in a terrible state, I saw him via video calls and I wept, he can't recognize even my sister again, and just muttering some words we don't understand, he closes his eyes while saying this and asked everyone to go and leave him, he looks so faint and weak and would not leave where he his...My sister has called his siblings and she's waiting for the next line of ACTION from them.

I'll keep updating the house with reports from our end..

192 Likes 18 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by GodPunishBiafra: 4:52pm On May 16
I just hate reading people apologizing for their so-called typos or wrong grammar and sentence.

Is English your mother tongue?

How may Oyinbo sabi speak and write Yoruba, Igbo or Hausa?

531 Likes 35 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by GodPunishBiafra: 4:57pm On May 16
Ope88
You girls should take care of your father until his sanity is restored to a good state

After that, he should get a good lawyer and he should write his will.

Your brat brother has gone out of control.
If he doesn't kill him las las, he'll kill both of your parents...

348 Likes 13 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Juliusmomoh(m): 5:01pm On May 16
Respect village people o

7 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by PuZZyNegro: 5:01pm On May 16
Ope88:
Please don't read and pass, also Pardon all my typo, I'm typing out of duress.

I am from a family of six, 3 girls, 1 boy including my parents.
Had a horrible childhood experience, My Mum (no thanks to her) was something I can't quantify, I can't start writing every of the things she did and I can't say If the religion she practiced contributed largely to the devilish she put up while growing up.
My mum has no good record nowhere, in the church, with the neighbours, with her siblings, we the children, her in laws and even at work, She was always at war with people, if she dreams that someone was trying to attack her in the dream, if she sees the person the following day, she was ready to attack the person,
Also, she would curse her children at any slightest provocation and leave only my brother out(last born and spoilt), She doesn't have any good relationship with her siblings and won't allow my dad visit his family member, I remembered them (Mum and dad) always saying this (don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers). To them anyone who isn't a Christian (deeper life) is not supposed to be associated with.. My dad on countless occasion will call his mum a witch just because she was a Muslim and one of the oloyes of allasalatu(Muslims will understand this) and had nothing to do with his family members.

This went on and on like this until my elder sister moved out of the house and in the process of trying to find her feet, she got pregnant and my mom practically tormented her life, she later got married to the man, and for that act alone, she's always at logger heads with my sister and her husband..

Later, I got married and then my younger sister followed suit, leaving my dad, herself and my younger brother (whom I have disowned)

You disown your own brother? Hahaha

Tomorrow is pregnant, just so you know!

Modified

Sorry I posted when the story was not complete. Your 26 year old brother beat up your sister and her children? He is a lost cause

85 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by PuZZyNegro: 5:02pm On May 16
GodPunishBiafra:
I just hate reading people apologizing for their so-called typos or wrong grammar and sentence.

Is English your mother tongue?

How may Oyinbo sabi speak and write Yoruba, Igbo or Hausa?

You shouldn't exist where humans are with this your username. I'm surprised you do

164 Likes 14 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ishilove: 5:06pm On May 16
So what is the issue?

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by GodPunishBiafra: 5:11pm On May 16
PuZZyNegro:


You shouldn't exist where humans are with this your username. I'm surprised you do
Lol
Who opened this one's cage?

You must have exhausted your prescriptions...

103 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by LordKO(m): 5:16pm On May 16
Your mother's character perfectly typifies that of a brilliant but unintelligent narcissist who adheres to organized religion.

Meanwhile, your father is obviously a victim of his own failed leadership at home - servility is as bad as subjugation, conscientiousness is gold. He used servility to sustain his relationship with your mother from the inception, so he's reaping the rotten fruits of his servile actions and inactions. Once one allows and enables their partner to exercise their liberty on the periphery of decorum, they'll definitely become a victim of their crass and expedient actions some day.

Anyway, you and your sisters who care for him should make effort to find him, relocate him somewhere and rehabilitate him formally or informally. Once he regains his sanity, encourage him to take to carefreeness.

178 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 5:33pm On May 16
Ishilove:
So what is the issue?

Thanks sis.. I've updated the post.

1 Like

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 5:34pm On May 16
PuZZyNegro:


You disown your own brother? Hahaha

Tomorrow is pregnant, just so you know!

If he were your brother, ull do worse, given all the countless things he has done in the past... I can't write all...

32 Likes

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by GboyegaD(m): 5:50pm On May 16
The way it is at the moment, since you guys got love for him, once he is found, one of you should take him in and also register him in a clinic that offers psychiatric and psychological treatment to help him get back his balance. As for your brother and mom, I truly cannot advice.

32 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by StubbornGENIUS(m): 5:50pm On May 16
Ope88, I hope you find your dad and take him home with you.as for that your broda,there are many security agencies that are looking for his kind,report him to them so they can knack sense back into his brain. As for your mum,try reporting her to the head of the place she worships maybe they can help her.

50 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Spanishmilf(m): 5:58pm On May 16
Ope88:
Please don't read and pass, also Pardon all my typo, I'm typing out of duress.

I am from a family of six, 3 girls, 1 boy including my parents.
I had a horrible childhood experience, My Mum (no thanks to her) was something I can't quantify, I can't start writing every of the things she did and I can't say If the religion she practiced contributed largely to the devilish attitude she put up while growing up.

My mum has no good record anywhere, in the church, with the neighbours, with her siblings, we the children, her in laws and even at work, She was always at war with people, if she dreams that someone was trying to attack her in the dream, if she sees the person the following day, she was ready to attack the person.

Also, she would curse her children at any slightest provocation and leave only my brother out(last born and spoilt), She doesn't have any good relationship with her siblings and won't allow my dad visit his family member, I remembered them (Mum and dad) always saying this (don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers). To them anyone who isn't a Christian (deeper life) is not supposed to be associated with.. My dad on countless occasion will call his mum a witch just because she was a Muslim and one of the oloyes of allasalatu(Muslims will understand this) and had nothing to do with his family members.

This went on and on like this until my elder sister moved out of the house and in the process of trying to find her feet, she got pregnant and my mom practically tormented her life, she later got married to the man, and for that act alone, she's always at logger heads with my sister and her husband..

Later, I got married and then my younger sister followed suit, leaving my dad, herself and my younger brother (whom I have disowned).

Ever since the three of us got happily married, and left the home, my dad slipped into severe depression. Although he has been depressed given lots of things he encountered, job loss, no social interaction, unforgiveness amongst others, it became severe when all his female children left, then from severe depressgion, he started having mental issues, he would wake up and leave the house talking to himself, or start preaching and going out of point with anyone he finds on the street, sometimes he would leave and come home at night, my younger brother who is supposed to comfort and help him, treats him with disdain, my mum who is supposed to check mate his excesses would leave him to his folly and now he has started standing up to her and everyone else in the house..

At 26, he doesn't know his bearing and obviously we have been seeing signs of him wanting to inherit the houses my father built in the same compound.. (and we have noticed that my mum has been making him understand that every of the property belongs to him).

The last straw which broke the camel's back happened one week ago, my elder sister ( who is 9 year older than him) took advantage of the lockdown and visited my father, he is usually exited when we are around him whc helps his severe moodiness. There and then an argument broke out between my sister and my brother, she asked why my brother was insulting our mum for an action that happened in the compound, he beat my sister up and her three children and boasted that, the rest of us (my sister and I) dare not do anything and that by the way we must stop coming to the house, that if he sees any of us He will beat us up, My mum who was supposed to resolve the matter started blaming my sister, asking her why she always love to come visiting, that she's supposed to be in her husband's house or father in laws place and immediately called her hubby to come pick her.

Its been one week my sister left for her house, my daddy who enjoyed her company when she was present started misbehaving again at home. He started roaming, he started cursing everyone.

The reason I'm writing is this, my dad is no where to be found, he left the house yesterday Friday 15th May 2020 and was last seen in ITAMAGA IKORODU, we keep trying his number but he is not picking and now his number is switched off, I'm sure he is still wandering about.

My sisters and I have decided that even when he is found(by God's grace) we do not what him to go back living with my mum and brother.

What other alternatives do we have to care for him, as his own siblings are not happy with him either for abandoning them and their mum (his own mum),, when they needed him the most..


I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST.. PLEASE HELP ME.
I don't know how u may feel sha. If u can pay soldier #5000 to lock your brother up in guard room for just 3days
Believe me he will change. Don't allow your bros to know that those soldiers are from u ooooh.

145 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by NockMedia: 6:13pm On May 16
Rooster and bull story. If you know, you know.
cheesy cheesy cheesy

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by crackland: 6:15pm On May 16
I would have suggested finding your father and relocating him to give him some respite and peace from your mother and brother...but it's his house, he shouldn't be running away from it.

I wonder how he allowed his wife to become so belligerent - something he ought to have nipped in the bud from the very beginning.

Too bad.

35 Likes

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 6:32pm On May 16
Spanishmilf:
I don't know how u may feel sha. If u can pay soldier #5000 to lock your brother up in guard room for just 3days
Believe me he will change. Don't allow your bros to know that those soldiers are from u ooooh.

I tried discussing this with my husband, but he is of the opinion that it might harden him and might come back to hunt us, and that we can't quench fire with fire, the thought of him beating my second mum still shatters my soul and then the news of my dad's disappearance, we are still looking for him still... He is 70 years old.

44 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 6:36pm On May 16
StubbornGENIUS:
Ope88, I hope you find your dad and take him home with you.as for that your broda,there are many security agencies that are looking for his kind,report him to them so they can knack sense back into his brain. As for your mum,try reporting her to the head of the place she worships

They all know her attitude, she just goes to church, worships and lives, she practically lives in isolation with only few people she talks to, she doesn't even talk to me but she does to my husband... I have asked my husband if my daddy can come leave with us, he said no problem, but yoruba sees it as a taboo, given that I'm not a boy and that he also built his house, and that people will ask why my mum can't take care of him.

31 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by sisisioge: 6:36pm On May 16
Wow! Wowzerful! Epele. What an horrible experience!


Well, once you found him, let him go live with either of your sisters or yourself if your husbands won't mind. As for the properties and your mother...allow your brother to carry on biko. He beat up his very big sister and her children! That guy would kill any of you if given the chance!

45 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by madone: 6:37pm On May 16
Spanishmilf:
I don't know how u may feel sha. If u can pay soldier #5000 to lock your brother up in guard room for just 3days
Believe me he will change. Don't allow your bros to know that those soldiers are from u ooooh.
grin

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 6:49pm On May 16
crackland:
I would have suggested finding your father and relocation him to give him some respite and peace from your mother and brother...but it's his house, he shouldn't be running away from it.

I wonder how he allowed his wife to become so belligerent - something he ought to have nipped in the bud from the very beginning.

Too bad.

He was too soft and cool, always listening to my mum and does everything he says like he was bewitched, but then my mum had no Frends, just goes to church and returns, so we had no evidence she was a witch whatsoever.

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by PrimadonnaO(f): 7:07pm On May 16
Ope88:


I tried discussing this with my husband, but he is of the opinion that it might harden him and might come back to hunt us, and that we can't quench fire with fire, the thought of him beating my second mum still shatters my soul and then the news of my dad's disappearance, we are still looking for him still... He is 70 years old.


The consequences of having a badly raised child are GRAVE!

The consequences of having a home where a man is unable to intelligently wield his mantle as head of the home are GRAVE!

This situation seems intractable. Whatever comes to mind right now may only aggravate the situation.

You saw the mistakes your parents made with religion. You and your siblings, how’s your relationship with God?

The way I see it, you need fervent prayers. Whatever has gone wrong with your younger brother and mother, y’all have to pray it doesn’t visit and disrupt your new homes.

But while on that, report your father’s disappearance to the authorities, take him to a psychiatric clinic for treatment, and let him live with one of you for a while after he’s been found.

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ishilove: 7:20pm On May 16
You need to find your father asap. I had a neighbor who was fond of disappearing like this. It ended in tears.

Find him first then take him away from that environment that triggers his episodes. Forget what people will say and forget about his houses. As for your brother, karma will deal with him but for now the important thing is finding your dad.

On a personal note, no brother of mine can beat me up. He will sleep inside a cell for a minimum of 3 days. Y'all need to show the spoilt brat that you are his elders.

110 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Spanishmilf(m): 7:22pm On May 16
Ope88:


I tried discussing this with my husband, but he is of the opinion that it might harden him and might come back to hunt us, and that we can't quench fire with fire, the thought of him beating my second mum still shatters my soul and then the news of my dad's disappearance, we are still looking for him still... He is 70 years old.
this how u plan it.
U will soldiers to carry him, u won't let him know.
Probably on his way to buy something or u fit SARS carry am, make SARS interrogate am on his missing father

52 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 7:31pm On May 16
Spanishmilf:
this how u plan it.
U will soldiers to carry him, u won't let him know.
Probably on his way to buy something or u fit SARS carry am, make SARS interrogate am on his missing father

I am in Ogun state while he is in Lagos, I don't know how this will work.

6 Likes

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 7:33pm On May 16
PrimadonnaO:



The consequences of having a badly raised child are GRAVE!

The consequences of having a home where a man is unable to intelligently wield his mantle as head of the home are GRAVE!

This situation seems intractable. Whatever comes to mind right now may only aggravate the situation.

You saw the mistakes your parents made with religion. You and your siblings, how’s your relationship with God?

The way I see it, you need fervent prayers. Whatever has gone wrong with your younger brother and mother, y’all have to pray it doesn’t visit and disrupt your new homes.

But while on that, report your father’s disappearance to the authorities, take him to a psychiatric clinic for treatment, and let him live with one of you for a while after he’s been found.

We have, and they're still on the look out for Him. I'm typing with tears in my eyes.. I'm so broken.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Yustash001(m): 7:38pm On May 16
If you are blessed with a good wife

You don't know what God has done for you...

149 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Tadeknkeepcalm: 7:48pm On May 16
LordKO:
Your mother's character perfectly typifies that of a brilliant but unintelligent narcissist who adheres to organized religion.

Meanwhile, your father is obviously a victim of his own failed leadership at home - servility is as bad as subjugation, conscientiousness is gold. He used servility to sustain his relationship with your mother from the inception, so he's reaping the rotten fruits of his servile actions and inactions. Once one allows and enables their partner to exercise their liberty on the periphery of decorum, they'll definitely become a victim of their crass and expedient actions some day.

Anyway, you and your sisters who care for him should make effort to find him, relocate him somewhere and rehabilitate him formally or informally. Once he regains his sanity, encourage him to take to carefreeness.

Excuse me, do you know theraminestree

2 Likes

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by SweetCunt97(f): 8:00pm On May 16
It's well. May God give me a loving husband and make me a loving wife devoid of issues.

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by prettysassygirl(f): 8:02pm On May 16
So you girls had to wait for your father to get to that state before taking him away from your terrible mum and brother. I hope you find him but make sure he never goes back.

7 Likes

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Spanishmilf(m): 8:14pm On May 16
Ope88:


I am in Ogun state while he is in Lagos, I don't know how this will work.
I dey ibadan
Plan it with a friend in lagos

4 Likes

Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Amazing007(m): 8:30pm On May 16
Am sorry for your predicaments ma'am , Life brings with it the unexpected ,almost same thing happened to my uncle ,late now , he was highly educated , a professor & a retired D.VC in a prestigious Uni , he died sad , lonely & frustrated ,I pray you find your dad & immediately put back the house in order , time is not lost , forgive him & move on , if found eventually , there are homes for the old

15 Likes

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