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Why Am I So Melancholy? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by nabegibeg: 11:23am On Dec 21, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:


What she said is true, mostly. Trust me.

undecided
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by OxideII(m): 11:32am On Dec 21, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:
I am never happy. For every reason I have/find, I'm just always happy and content with my sadness. I always find a reason to be downcast and burdened. I'm very skeptical about everything/everyone around me. I carry scars of everything I have seen and see; pain, sadness, disaster, sickness, death etc. I wear on the gloom and doom of a hundred persons. I can't even say if I'm a sadist.

I constantly seek the meaning of life, the reason of my existence, and as soon as I can't find the meaning, I pass aggression or get mad at myself. I don't have trouble building relationships with others, but I don't strive to build them anyway. I don't like people. I have a huge difficulty fitting into the norms of the society. Could it be that I'm not in the right society for me to be appreciated?

I strive to make friends but I cut them off before they even come close. I'm a realist but people misunderstand it as pessimism.

I'm a very good, ambitious, nice, lovable, generous and approachable person, but people scare me. There's no real love in the world. I have a fairly good life to be thankful for. I have good people around me too, thankfully, but I'm still not happy.

I have a stable job. A fairly good business by the side. I have a good shelter above my head, in school and enough food to eat, in fact, I have totally everything to make the average young adult happy. On here, people might mistake me to be an outgoing and bubbly personality, but in real life, I'm not that. I only come here to have fun, and out of here, feel miserable.

I'm not even passionate about what I even do. I have a job but I don't enjoy it. I just love to be by myself and still get angry for being by myself. In turn, I'm called non-challant.

I'm very passionate about the arts, fashion, poetry, academics, but I lack the right motivation to forge with these things. I usually am very immersed in my emotions to do anything reasonable. In totality, I'm just a sad person.


Is there a help to combat recurrent melancholic symptoms? Do other people feel this way? Am I okay?

I understand you, that's how I totally feel. I was on the brink of a total mental breakdown last week because of this, I just felt sad so suddenly that evening and just under an hour I was crying and wanted to just cease to exist.

I find Nigeria and my fellow Nigerians as being the cause of some of my depression, sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by how bad the country is and how bad your fellow human beings can be that I just couldn't help but cry.

there's hardly anyone you can talk to about depression in Nigeria that wouldn't think you've gone mad, they'll say you're feigning it for attention but it's far from that.

these are the things that gives me relief at times: reading well written books and playing games, going on a stroll in the night to avoid people and their big judgy eyes, and trying the best I can to make it in life so I can live where I'm most comfortable in the world.

you can dm me let's chat and get to know each other, we might have some things to teach each other.

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Greatzeus(m): 11:33am On Dec 21, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:
I am never happy. For every reason I have/find, I'm just always happy and content with my sadness. I always find a reason to be downcast and burdened. I'm very skeptical about everything/everyone around me. I carry scars of everything I have seen and see; pain, sadness, disaster, sickness, death etc. I wear on the gloom and doom of a hundred persons. I can't even say if I'm a sadist.

I constantly seek the meaning of life, the reason of my existence, and as soon as I can't find the meaning, I pass aggression or get mad at myself. I don't have trouble building relationships with others, but I don't strive to build them anyway. I don't like people. I have a huge difficulty fitting into the norms of the society. Could it be that I'm not in the right society for me to be appreciated?

I strive to make friends but I cut them off before they even come close. I'm a realist but people misunderstand it as pessimism.

I'm a very good, ambitious, nice, lovable, generous and approachable person, but people scare me. There's no real love in the world. I have a fairly good life to be thankful for. I have good people around me too, thankfully, but I'm still not happy.

I have a stable job. A fairly good business by the side. I have a good shelter above my head, in school and enough food to eat, in fact, I have totally everything to make the average young adult happy. On here, people might mistake me to be an outgoing and bubbly personality, but in real life, I'm not that. I only come here to have fun, and out of here, feel miserable.

I'm not even passionate about what I even do. I have a job but I don't enjoy it. I just love to be by myself and still get angry for being by myself. In turn, I'm called non-challant.

I'm very passionate about the arts, fashion, poetry, academics, but I lack the right motivation to forge with these things. I usually am very immersed in my emotions to do anything reasonable. In totality, I'm just a sad person.


Is there a help to combat recurrent melancholic symptoms? Do other people feel this way? Am I okay?
I don't believe you are melancholic or anything. We are humans with dreams passion and aspirations. If these things tend not to come as we expected,we become sad or unhappy whenever we think about it.
Let me tell you the truth,you will never feel this way again when you finally:
1. Have a very lucrative business that ranks in huge sums daily or a reputable job paying you very well,where all most of your expenses are taking care of by the company
2. Finally get married to a successful man who loves you and whom you love dearly.
3. When you wake up to see your beautiful kids
Most of the time,this feeling of constant sadness is elicited by feeling of failure as a person in life. Kiss the truth.
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by sty1es: 12:31pm On Dec 21, 2019
ashatoda:
feminism is not your problem and sex is not though you will be so good in fantasizing about sex and if you get married or in a relationship you are willing to have sex wella. you will like to read and also moved by words especially of knowledge like you said about poem and any genre of music you fall in love with you tend to be swayed by the lyrics which should be deep. you look at people and just by hearing them talk for minutes you can easily predict what they will be and can do you are easily pissed by someone who lacks knowledge and infact it's one of your yardstick in determining who to date and if you are married to someone who is not that brilliant he go hear winnn. you know and easily identify business opportunities but the will to take action is not there cos you are looking for the perfect scenario abeg make I stop talking about you but give the advice wet I get. how do I know this much because I suffer from the same problem so how do I go about it. I believe humans will always be humans it is only God that is perfect definitely I tend to keep people at arm's length I still have 1 or 2 people I open up to actually not all my problems I share but still fairly open up and whenever I am interacting with people I only share what I know if they expose I won't feel so down. I have come to accept my wife for who she is but before na real war the secret sincerely is Jesus. I let Him lead me on and I tend to study the scripture more and He has been able to help me so I will advise that you also need Him and more importantly meditate on the word and try to mirror your life according to the word meanwhile be careful not to make yourself a slave of pastor you need a church where the word in the real sense of it is shared where you will be free but still responsible to God by living a holy life try this and most importantly study and try to improve yourself on wherever you take note you are weak then no prob you are also not perfect accept who you are after all God sef accept you as you are

Is it that Lady you're writing all these stories for?? It's like you don't have much doing, right?
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by jakandeola(m): 1:18pm On Dec 21, 2019
Logobenz:
Where did I say it's everything? undecided
But a good life filled with people pushes sadism away.
And you know with more money comes more friends of equal value and all,hence the good life.
Btw money is everything smiley
Also,being marriage is now a yardstick for how comfortable a person is?are you crazy?Do you think everyone holds marriage with equal value? undecided
Jesus christ!
hmmm am just laffing here.small boy when u take d next step to make u really a man den we talk.

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Nobody: 3:52pm On Dec 21, 2019
My fellow smart nigerians. Please I would advise before we get all emotional and all, we take a minute to read through OP's profile and be sure you want to believe this post. Not saying the post's a lie, but it could very well be a "spark created for a living". Just so we don't all end up as iconic idiots floating around in the endless space of OP's mind for entertainment in her moment of boredom or a good laugh before bedtime, I suggest caution. For some reason, mode of presentation, I suppose, this looks more to me like a scripted post out of a book than an actual experience. Moreso, someone in this condition has much to fear sharing it on a public forum, except they went incognito(moniker-wise). But OP's picture is even there for all to see, almost nothing hidden. So this may just be a publicity stunt/attention seeking.
But well, to make the most of the post, for the sake of those actually in this condition and if at all, for OP's sake.
People who tend to this disposition are mostly highly Melancholic, undertone Phlegmatic. I have had many Melphlegs as best friends one time or another, my favorite temperament too, and I'm well read in temperaments so I know a lot about Melphlegs. They can indeed(only in extreme or dire cases) fit the description in the post, especially if they fail to achieve their idealistic dreams/ambitions but it's rare to find one in this condition.
Given that this condition mostly prevails for lack of fulfillment or feeling your potentials are underutilized and remembering that Man was created to work and will find ultimate pleasure in his work, here's what you should do if this fits you:
1. Get the right people around your life. The people you keep around should be those who can easily understand your temperament and are also achieving their dreams. Open relationships are best, share both your weaknesses and strengths together. This pushes you towards achieving your dreams and feeling "fitted" into society.

2. Rather than indulging your moody feelings, have a constructive getaway like reading history of major world events to understand patterns in human behaviour. Go for big discoveries like the secrets of the successful men(scientists, world rulers etc.) who have altered historical patterns and caused paradigm shifts.

3. Learn to have a good chill in between your working towards set goals and in your funtime, engage your mental strengths. Play mentally constructive games like chess(not simple fun games that kill time without building your mental capacity)

4. Do much research in the line of your dreams. This is the internet age. Live it. If possible, join online communities of people who share your goals and are working to achieve it, and make sure you work to become the best of them.

5. Set high goals for yourself, that others may call unachievable. But work towards them because they only are if you don't. Beat your own records again and again and become your only competition in this world.
I still have more to say o, but I've got to go now. Work just dropped on me table. Hopefully, I'll be back later to finish up.
And yeah, Brown Eyes, you are not a sadist for being sad and gloomy. You only are if you're a really evil villain who loves to watch others suffer and get tortured, take note.
Cc: lalasticlala , seun

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Emrixx(f): 4:34pm On Dec 21, 2019
meobizy:
Somebody is practicing her writing style. I told you to pass me your digits and you're here complaining of unhappiness. My friend, nobody in life is ever satisfied. No matter all the wealth, fame and whatsoever people possess they always have times when they feel down. Accept it, you are breathing. One can't stay happy forever.

Very true once one closes d eyes it's all over
Thanks for the write up
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 5:29pm On Dec 21, 2019
jakandeola:
u need a relationship. u need sex.u need true love. most pple who enjoy dis are always happy in life

You think everything is about sex abi? Mtcheww.
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 5:30pm On Dec 21, 2019
Mindfulness:
Sounds like depression to me. See a therapist if possible.

Thanks. I will do so.

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 5:31pm On Dec 21, 2019
Ranchhoddas:
You need Jesus

Why do you think so?
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 5:33pm On Dec 21, 2019
Logobenz:
Where did I say it's everything? undecided
But a good life filled with people pushes sadism away.
And you know with more money comes more friends of equal value and all,hence the good life.
Btw money is everything smiley
Also,being marriage is now a yardstick for how comfortable a person is?are you crazy?Do you think everyone holds marriage with equal value? undecided
Jesus christ!


A handful of bullshit.
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 5:35pm On Dec 21, 2019
SirMichael1:


I hate to break it to you but you read wrongly. There's no such thing as personalities attached to date of birth.

Do you have proof?
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 5:36pm On Dec 21, 2019
meobizy:
Somebody is practicing her writing style. I told you to pass me your digits and you're here complaining of unhappiness. My friend, nobody in life is ever satisfied. No matter all the wealth, fame and whatsoever people possess they always have times when they feel down. Accept it, you are breathing. One can't stay happy forever.

SMH. Can passing my digits to you erase my unhappiness?
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by meobizy(f): 5:46pm On Dec 21, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:


SMH. Can passing my digits to you erase my unhappiness?
A test will convince you.

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by sayisayi(m): 6:30pm On Dec 21, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:


You think everything is about sex abi? Mtcheww.

Don't mind her, na this yoru girl thinks from her sugar walls.
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by jakandeola(m): 6:49am On Dec 22, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:


You think everything is about sex abi? Mtcheww.
I didnt say so uyi if u want to misunderstand me DAT ur cup of tea. I only pity u DAT as a young girl sadness and anger is eating u.u dont need DAT feeling. try and be happy always.will mention u in one of my blogs were u gave s bad reply early dis year.
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Kaycee54321(m): 2:57pm On Dec 24, 2019
Rhema14:


I have had exactly the same experience you shared in the past....I prolonged for a long time before I finally break free.

Now it's a thing of the past for me..I am excited and motivated everyday.
Contact me on 07066232575 to share tips on how I break free


cheesy

Good afternoon Sir.
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by culf: 3:14pm On Dec 24, 2019
you can change if you really want to, do you want to change?

2 Likes

Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by IceColdVeins(m): 4:20pm On Dec 24, 2019
I am libra and I always like been sad too. Whatchu got to say about that?
Miarose:
It's the virgo in you. Your role here is to empathize and tend to the world. read more about yourself and embrace it. I am exactly like you too. And please, don't marry a Scorpio..

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by shestrong(f): 6:15pm On Dec 24, 2019
BarrSly:




Wow I was just about to create a thread like this and state how I always feel sad and all that. I don't trust anybody at all in my relationships.

Scars from my past don't let me go I always feel much better when I'm sad I punish my lovers for no just cause and I make them Beg and beg I know it's not right but I get joy from seeing them go through such.. I need help!!!! ..

I hope we get some answers from viewers of this thread.
See a therapist if u must
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by shestrong(f): 6:15pm On Dec 24, 2019
jakandeola:
u need a relationship. u need sex.u need true love. most pple who enjoy dis are always happy in life
of a truth
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by jakandeola(m): 7:28pm On Dec 24, 2019
shestrong:
of a truth
LOL uyi is just been nauthy.

1 Like

Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by BarrSly: 9:38pm On Dec 24, 2019
shestrong:

See a therapist if u must

Nigeria get therapist?
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by shestrong(f): 10:12pm On Dec 24, 2019
BarrSly:


Nigeria get therapist?
Yes
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by 9JAFULLBREED(m): 10:23am On Dec 25, 2019
RealMrNigerD:
My fellow smart nigerians. Please I would advise before we get all emotional and all, we take a minute to read through OP's profile and be sure you want to believe this post. Not saying the post's a lie, but it could very well be a "spark created for a living". Just so we don't all end up as iconic idiots floating around in the endless space of OP's mind for entertainment in her moment of boredom or a good laugh before bedtime, I suggest caution. For some reason, mode of presentation, I suppose, this looks more to me like a scripted post out of a book than an actual experience. Moreso, someone in this condition has much to fear sharing it on a public forum, except they went incognito(moniker-wise). But OP's picture is even there for all to see, almost nothing hidden. So this may just be a publicity stunt/attention seeking.
But well, to make the most of the post, for the sake of those actually in this condition and if at all, for OP's sake.
People who tend to this disposition are mostly highly Melancholic, undertone Phlegmatic. I have had many Melphlegs as best friends one time or another, my favorite temperament too, and I'm well read in temperaments so I know a lot about Melphlegs. They can indeed(only in extreme or dire cases) fit the description in the post, especially if they fail to achieve their idealistic dreams/ambitions but it's rare to find one in this condition.
Given that this condition mostly prevails for lack of fulfillment or feeling your potentials are underutilized and remembering that Man was created to work and will find ultimate pleasure in his work, here's what you should do if this fits you:
1. Get the right people around your life. The people you keep around should be those who can easily understand your temperament and are also achieving their dreams. Open relationships are best, share both your weaknesses and strengths together. This pushes you towards achieving your dreams and feeling "fitted" into society.

2. Rather than indulging your moody feelings, have a constructive getaway like reading history of major world events to understand patterns in human behaviour. Go for big discoveries like the secrets of the successful men(scientists, world rulers etc.) who have altered historical patterns and caused paradigm shifts.

3. Learn to have a good chill in between your working towards set goals and in your funtime, engage your mental strengths. Play mentally constructive games like chess(not simple fun games that kill time without building your mental capacity)

4. Do much research in the line of your dreams. This is the internet age. Live it. If possible, join online communities of people who share your goals and are working to achieve it, and make sure you work to become the best of them.

5. Set high goals for yourself, that others may call unachievable. But work towards them because they only are if you don't. Beat your own records again and again and become your only competition in this world.
I still have more to say o, but I've got to go now. Work just dropped on me table. Hopefully, I'll be back later to finish up.
And yeah, Brown Eyes, you are not a sadist for being sad and gloomy. You only are if you're a really evil villain who loves to watch others suffer and get tortured, take note.
Cc: lalasticlala , seun
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Rigel95(m): 11:33am On Dec 25, 2019
AwkaetitiBabe:
Get a puppy. They good emotional support anchor
You mean a Dog as an emotional support anchor? Like you anchor your emotions on a dog to support :
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by frozen70(f): 9:19pm On Dec 25, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:
I am never happy. For every reason I have/find, I'm just always happy and content with my sadness. I always find a reason to be downcast and burdened. I'm very skeptical about everything/everyone around me. I carry scars of everything I have seen and see; pain, sadness, disaster, sickness, death etc. I wear on the gloom and doom of a hundred persons. I can't even say if I'm a sadist.

I constantly seek the meaning of life, the reason of my existence, and as soon as I can't find the meaning, I pass aggression or get mad at myself. I don't have trouble building relationships with others, but I don't strive to build them anyway. I don't like people. I have a huge difficulty fitting into the norms of the society. Could it be that I'm not in the right society for me to be appreciated?

I strive to make friends but I cut them off before they even come close. I'm a realist but people misunderstand it as pessimism.

I'm a very good, ambitious, nice, lovable, generous and approachable person, but people scare me. There's no real love in the world. I have a fairly good life to be thankful for. I have good people around me too, thankfully, but I'm still not happy.

I have a stable job. A fairly good business by the side. I have a good shelter above my head, in school and enough food to eat, in fact, I have totally everything to make the average young adult happy. On here, people might mistake me to be an outgoing and bubbly personality, but in real life, I'm not that. I only come here to have fun, and out of here, feel miserable.

I'm not even passionate about what I even do. I have a job but I don't enjoy it. I just love to be by myself and still get angry for being by myself. In turn, I'm called non-challant.

I'm very passionate about the arts, fashion, poetry, academics, but I lack the right motivation to forge with these things. I usually am very immersed in my emotions to do anything reasonable. In totality, I'm just a sad person.


Is there a help to combat recurrent melancholic symptoms? Do other people feel this way? Am I okay?

The truth is you are complacent with your kind of life and not ready to pull out of it

I wonder how you can raise a family with this system
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Nobody: 9:37pm On Dec 25, 2019
Miarose:
It's the virgo in you. Your role here is to empathize and tend to the world. read more about yourself and embrace it. I am exactly like you too. And please, don't marry a Scorpio..

Tuface, a Virgo, married Annie, a Scorpio, so what the hell are you saying?
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Nobody: 9:49pm On Dec 25, 2019
SirMichael1:


I hate to break it to you but you read wrongly. There's no such thing as personalities attached to date of birth.

Ever heard of numerology?
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Nobody: 9:52pm On Dec 25, 2019
IceColdVeins:
I am libra and I always like been sad too. Whatchu got to say about that?

Im betting you're less than 27
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Nobody: 9:58pm On Dec 25, 2019
OxideII:


I understand you, that's how I totally feel. I was on the brink of a total mental breakdown last week because of this, I just felt sad so suddenly that evening and just under an hour I was crying and wanted to just cease to exist.

I find Nigeria and my fellow Nigerians as being the cause of some of my depression, sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by how bad the country is and how bad your fellow human beings can be that I just couldn't help but cry.

there's hardly anyone you can talk to about depression in Nigeria that wouldn't think you've gone mad, they'll say you're feigning it for attention but it's far from that.

these are the things that gives me relief at times: reading well written books and playing games, going on a stroll in the night to avoid people and their big judgy eyes, and trying the best I can to make it in life so I can live where I'm most comfortable in the world.

you can dm me let's chat and get to know each other, we might have some things to teach each other.

Whenever you feel like that, try taking a deep sleep. 4-8 hours
Re: Why Am I So Melancholy? by Nobody: 10:03pm On Dec 25, 2019
armyofone:
The photo with written text is funny grin crazy!



Op, also try changing your meals. Less carbs more protein/vegetarian diet...More fish less meat.
Weight lifting and HIIT.
Exercise really do help to uplift your mood- you just have to keep doing it.

Don't give people advise of things you know nothing about. You should say less or no processed carbs because complex carbs will do her a lot of good

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