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Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West - Romance - Nairaland

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Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by edoyad(m): 7:04am On Nov 30, 2010
. . . . . . . For the Africans that has transitioned to a western country (many for economic reasons) , there is no room for accommodating the African concept because there are laws in western countries that hinders its acceptance. Western countries also challenge faith on many levels, especially the headship of men in the institution of marriage. An African man, who earns more back home, who never visited the family kitchen (saw it as a woman’s territory) and would once in a while slap his wife (when she gets out of line), is now left helpless because the first time he slaps her or shoves her around, she calls the police (911) , she earns more and his way of dealing with it, is to use bone-face (“ogboju”) to assert his leadership. The freedom and lopsided nature of western judiciary system toward women now embolden the African woman to challenge biblical teachings as “ too patriarchal” and many are adopting (or echoing) the “ungodly” liberal western cultures. The newly arrived African couple to western cultures has the mindset and beliefs of where they are coming from. If the man earn more and continue to take care of the family financially in the new environment life goes on, but if she now earn more (or comparably), she starts to demand he joins her in the kitchen or be part of getting the kids ready for school, do homework or take them around for the gazillion activities. As they attend church or are visited by their western neighbors the woman start to desire (hormonal) the public affection or romance her western friends get from their husbands, the African man dismisses such entreaties as western culture that lacks strong moral values. As it is in the culture back home, they seek the help of elders in the community, who also come from the mixture (A.T.R/Culture/ Christianity) mindset, . . .

http://nigeriaworld.com/feature/publication/awodele/112610n.html
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by tpia5: 7:10am On Nov 30, 2010
toward women now embolden the African woman to challenge biblical teachings

if it's the husband challenging biblical teachings does that make it ok.
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by edoyad(m): 7:25am On Nov 30, 2010
if it's the husband challenging biblical teachings does that make it ok.

Long time no see, hope ur husband is behaving himself ? smiley
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by tpia5: 7:28am On Nov 30, 2010
which one.
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by edoyad(m): 7:37am On Nov 30, 2010
How many do u have ? grin
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by tpia5: 7:43am On Nov 30, 2010
you dont really want to know.
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by excoba101: 7:45am On Nov 30, 2010
War without end.
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by kmoneyE(m): 7:53am On Nov 30, 2010
We know tey tey== say our women na our OGA / husband for abroad== we no dey follow dem drag dat office== But right from Muritala Airport the real OGA go assume his power grin cheesy
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by excoba101: 8:01am On Nov 30, 2010
@k-money £

how far my guy. dem don ban your other username?
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by edoyad(m): 8:03am On Nov 30, 2010
We know tey tey== say our women na our  OGA / husband for abroad == we no dey  follow dem drag dat office== But right from  Muritala Airport the real  OGA  go assume  his power ᅡ


Does the same rule apply to western couples the moment they foot in MMA ? Lol
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by Nobody: 8:05am On Nov 30, 2010
Some please use the word "some"

I luv generalizing NOT.
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by kmoneyE(m): 8:12am On Nov 30, 2010
excoba101:

@k-money £

how far my guy. dem don ban your other username?

Exco my man werrin dey===dem don kill all my other names oo== but we thank God cheesy
edoyad:



Does the same rule apply to western couples the moment they foot in MMA ? Lol

NA dem go anwer dat one for you== I no be western man I be real 9ja man smiley
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by Nobody: 1:00pm On Nov 30, 2010
i mean because like anything African, the principles and styles of the West is a contradiction. Where most African cultures emphasize responsibility, western cultures praise carelessness such as cheating and having sex/children out of wedlock (??). When African couples emigrate to the west, the temptations are there and the way the societies of the west are, if you have anything named principle you are "behind".

The black male is highly despised in the west so his worth is supposed to be minimum to none. They praise black women and claim we are the "ambitious of the race" and therefore grant us scholarships and drill it in our heads that we are not to be "second class" to no black man (ie "rescue mission to Africa to end "suffering of women" or female circumcision). The feminist movements have a blast "recruiting" African women as they regard African culture as backward and as a result you now have the AWs behaving like the AAs.

The concept of marriage in the "old African days" were the man was the provider and the woman the child barer and nurturer. Now I am hearing more and more African women telling me that that life style is oppressive. shocked and that they will not stand for it. There is a false sense of "Independence" within the black female population that to be independent means you need no man and should therefore have an attitude. So the African woman who comes to the west thinking she is now "free" adapts to the environment by imitating. The African man is no exception to this issue:

Some of them come to the west taking on the black AMerican mentality: players, gangsters; etc. and indeed some of them take male dominance to a WHOLE new level!
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by Dsense(m): 1:07pm On Nov 30, 2010
Generalization NOT!!!
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by Nobody: 1:09pm On Nov 30, 2010
D-Sense you dont get tired of trying to pick fights? smiley
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by MrCork7: 1:13pm On Nov 30, 2010
D-Sense, bro long time. how r u. where have u been ? jail? wink
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by rasputinn(m): 1:17pm On Nov 30, 2010
[size=14pt]edoyad,now do another thread entitled;

Why western maariages can't survive in Africa[/size]
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by rasputinn(m): 1:19pm On Nov 30, 2010
Mr¬Cork:

D-Sense, bro long time. how r u. where have u been ? jail? wink

Hey dude, are you one and the same Mr Cork of no oofeinse fame?
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by Dsense(m): 1:22pm On Nov 30, 2010
MzDarkSkin:

D-Sense you dont get tired of trying to pick fights?  smiley
He dear . . Not picking up a fight with anybody . .just try to make a call back on  ''No Generalization!''.
I love almost everubody here on NL ,Even some don't love me  . ,  .such as Mr Willies ''190'' he's azzlicker!
Mr¬Cork:

D-Sense, bro long time.  how r u.  where have   u been ? jail? wink
Hey dummy,What's good with yah . . .I've been superb, doing it with your wife . . . .Tell her i enjoyed the last night we had at the estuary of Nile Sea! tongue
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by Dsense(m): 1:24pm On Nov 30, 2010
rasputinn:

Hey dude, are you one and the same Mr Cork of no oofeinse fame?
He 's d one ooo . . . . .HE DON BLEEP AGAIN NI? . . . . .Pls make una go jail am this time . . .We want to rest!!!
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by Jbenue: 1:45pm On Nov 30, 2010
this is stupid, the sooner men learn that women are their equals the better.
yes in the west women have way too much power, but in africa men also have an excess of power.

So you like slapping women, and that makes you feel assertive, I pity you,
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by ssemire(f): 2:14pm On Nov 30, 2010
I do not know where it has ever been acceptable for a man to hit a woman. a man who is a head in his own home will command respect naturally so the idea a oppressing the woman in the first place is not there.
As per why marriages cannot survive in the west, it is all in the mindset. the only thing that changes is location, the values you hold on to should not change.
and on a final note, marriage is a partnership not a manager-subordinate relationship like office in naija. the bible says that two become one. it is well
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by justwise(m): 2:17pm On Nov 30, 2010
ssemire:

I do not know where it has ever been acceptable for a man to hit a woman. a man who is a head in his own home will command respect naturally so the idea a oppressing the woman in the first place is not there.
As per why marriages cannot survive in the west, it is all in the mindset. the only thing that changes is location, the values you hold on to should not change.
and on a final note, marriage is a partnership not a manager-subordinate relationship like office in naija. the bible says that two become one. it is well

I have to agree with u completely, very good points made.
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by Nobody: 2:48pm On Nov 30, 2010
all these men looking for someone to beat,don u havev sisters you can practice on?
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by akossyy: 3:23pm On Nov 30, 2010
And that is very bad, beating up a woman
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by iice(f): 3:34pm On Nov 30, 2010
Na today? undecided
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by MrCork7: 4:01pm On Nov 30, 2010
rasputinn:

Hey dude, are you one and the same Mr Cork of no oofeinse fame?

rasputinn , bro why u ask? u want 2 buyme a new shoes? undecided
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by MrCork7: 4:03pm On Nov 30, 2010
ssemire:

I do not know where it has ever been acceptable for a man to hit a woman. a man who is a head in his own home will command respect naturally so the idea a oppressing the woman in the first place is not there.
As per why marriages cannot survive in the west, it is all in the mindset. the only thing that changes is location, the values you hold on to should not change.
and on a final note, marriage is a partnership not a manager-subordinate relationship like office in naija. the bible says that two become one. it is well

madam, who ever says there is any wrong in hittin womens? undecided
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by kabukabu50(m): 4:08pm On Nov 30, 2010
Mr¬Cork:

madam, who ever says there is any wrong in hittin womens? undecided

Shut your mouth.troll grin grin grin Perhaps your father abused and punched your mother like a bag of garri,thats why you think it is normal grin grin

Us men are stronger than women ,we protect them and love them not abuse them,you ape grin grin

You should marry yourself a female gorilla and she if it wont rip of your head and arms if you dare punch it one time grin grin

Ozuo like you
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by yodiyokun(f): 4:42pm On Nov 30, 2010
African marriages where everyone accepts that life in western world is different and offers new challenges will survive and even thrive.

A man that provides for his family back home, provides enough for nanny or housekeeper in naija, but in Uk for example both his and spouse's salary no cut am. If he still expects that he should vege all day in front of TV whil expecting food expecting wife to be fully responsible for kids homework, shopping etc is living in lala land.
That means you wan kill the wife be4 her time. If she has any sense in her she will have a conversation about it.

The life here is different, there are different expectations. Both Man and Woman should adjust and everyone should leave their ego at home. Or else the man should go out and make enough for the wife to sit at home fulltime and still take care of her and her responsibilities. She can be homebody then , no wahala, but even that is not easy!
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by MrCork7: 4:45pm On Nov 30, 2010
kabukabu50:

Shut your mouth.troll grin grin grin  Perhaps your father abused and punched your mother like a bag of garri,thats why you think it is normal grin grin

Us men are stronger than women ,we protect them and love them not abuse them,you ape grin grin

You should marry yourself a female gorilla and she if it wont rip of your head and arms if you dare punch it one time grin grin

Ozuo like you

kabukabu50 , bro u sound like a spokes man for married womens undecided
Re: Why African Marriages Can't Survive In The West by justwise(m): 4:46pm On Nov 30, 2010
yodiyokun:

African marriages where everyone accepts that life in western world is different and offers new challenges will survive and even thrive.

A man that provides for his family back home, provides enough for nanny or housekeeper in naija, but in Uk for example both his and spouse's salary no cut am. If he still expects that he should vege all day in front of TV whil expecting food expecting wife to be fully responsible for kids homework, shopping etc is living in lala land. That means you wan kill the wife be4 her time. If she has any sense in her she will have a conversation about it.
The life here is different, there are different expectations. Both Man and Woman should adjust and everyone should leave their ego at home. Or else the man should go out and make enough for the wife to sit at home fulltime and still take care of her and her responsibilities. She can be homebody then , no wahala, but even that is not easy!
Who in his right mind does that in the UK? A man staying at home while the wife goes out to work?

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