isyourboy:
I urged all the men, both married and single, to come to this thread as as a matter of urgency.

cc : ubunja, Martinez39, pansophist and others.

Something I Just want to reiterate is that" women have no Love to give".

The ordeal which this guy narrated here happened to my uncle. He was a big man, a director. About 4 years ago, 2015, he lost his stands and was unable to regain his footing. his wife took the reign and start directing the affairs of the house. Everybody thought this is a good woman. Months later, this woman bought her cold attitude and started dishing insults to the man all because he could not provide. just last year, the man died- depression.

Women are tool good only to be bleeped and discard. If you're a man forming love, you're to be blamed

I've always uphold the doctrine that men are of only practical value to women. From lifting heavy weight, fighting for her, sponsoring her, ego boost, to name a few. Men are human doing to women, while women are human beings to men. Men are nothing more than success object to most women. From an evolutionary, historically and culturall perspective, realistically, men are just a means to an end for women, and he will be discarded when he outlive his usefulness.

The kind of love women have for men is exactly the kind of love men have for their career. Men usually begin to be irritated with their career when it doesn't yield fruit as before, and will think of changing it, or irritated by it if changes are not possible. Since the poster can not fulfil his financial responsibility, he has came to experience this timeless truism, a sad realisation that is a hard pill to swallow, in this trying times.

You can either love women or understand them, you cant do both.

Ladycewhy:
So who made it a necessity for Nigerian women to only do such demeaning home chores? I have seen men who do chores and even pound yam and heaven did not fall. You cannot expect a woman to go to work all day and come back and still come and cook for you with her own money while all you do is sit and do nothing. I am sure the op cant even bath his children and prepare them for school.

A white man will cordinate his home in the event of loosing his job with no hassle. If chores are too demeaning for the op, let him put his money where is mouth is (pun intended). I am sure if he was married to a white woman he will not have a problem being a house husband ,go and ask our Yankee brothers how they suddenly have a factory reset when they travel out.

-He doesn't have money.
-He doesn't want to do demeaning chores.
-He wants the wife to hustle for ALL the money and do demeaning chores when she gets back home tired.
-He wants to continue knacking the already tired wife with his God given big prick.

What is he?

A HUMAN DILDÔ

Only cougars want such.

Zeewirld:
..Well,experience and background differs.Your beliefs might have been shaped by the calibre of women in your live, mine are very loyal to a fault.

You lie. There are no loyal Nigerian women. The fact is you may be doing well financially & they have no reason whatsoever to be disloyal.

But to each his own though.

My brother, the honest advice I think I can give to you now is never to touch her money again or even ask her for money. Just try and do some thing that can give you your own money no matter how little.

internationalman:

worked like magic when i once used it on my shakara girlfriend....

and i made sure i used a profile picture more beautiful than my girl's own..

i lay the phone where she could have easy access to it and she did and read the chat i orchestrated thinking i didn't know she saw it as she refused to confront me with it..

i made sure to make it look like the girl was begging me to leave my girl to date her...but since i knew my girl was gonna view it, in the chat i reiterated how much i loved my girl and how i could never leave her for anyone...


my guy you need to see the love this girl was showing me afterwards en.

if you want to be successfull with ladies you have to beat them to their manipulative game

worked because you were dating a shallow, unintelligent, obviously manipulative child woman.

You too get time Sha, wetin be all these one? I see part of why everything is going wrong with relationships these days o.

LINTUNE:
OK o..if u say so,if u say u don't mind ,even if ur elder bro should be in the same shoe...alright

will the story be the same if he was married to a white woman? Abegi ,all this talk is bullshit. Which is why i laugh when i see deluded men write "hustle ,you can get any woman you want" . when the money vanish all that is left is bruised ego and resentment. They become frustrated because the only thing they had for control was the money they put on the table. Which is the main issue the op is facing. Many Nigerian men believe "he who pays the piper dictates the tune "in a marriage,well the op cant pay the piper any more ,too bad.

chigoizie7:
And marriage gets scarier to me by the day.

My brother no be only you ooo. And money no come dey sotey to enter relationship sef na war.

row2ray:
Sorry bro, I feel your pain.:..but I’m honesty I doubt any marriage recovers from this... in my case i stayed and when things improved I stayed like it was the same doing what ever I wanted without being open about it.... then I bought her a car and divorced

Bought her a car and divorced?

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

Love your Kids, you are their father, don't disappoint them...
Find good Friends to hang out with and share ideas...
Starting hitting the gym on a regular, the adrenaline rush will help...
Continue hustling, but hustle real smart.
Stop trying with your wife, you've probably lost her already. Don't loose yourself in turn.
And despite the troubles, pick up an hobby and make an effort to enjoy life. Everything is about attitude...

LINTUNE:
have heard u but I want to ask u a question,if ur elder bro was to be in the OP shoe,what would ur take be..what would be ur reaction when u went to visit ur bro,and saw him washing is wife's clothes ,and doing other chores such as ,cooking and sweeping the compound, simply becos he recently lost his job,and his wife is providing for the mean time...I need a honest answer

If it's my elder brother becomes a house husband God Forbid,i will ginger him to get his arse out and work or do business. There's nothing wrong in him washing his wife clothes my husband washes mine but it's not a full time job nor will it put food on the table. Sitting at home and doing house work only will kill the morale of any ambitious woman talkless a man. You can only do that for a meantime while working your way out. Those that value their spouse taking over their manly duty reciprocate by taking care of the home more. It's never a problem for a family that walk together.

rayobaba:
yes, l believe it's money dt makes women submissive except very very few like 3%. The 3% sef is submissive cos of another thing separate from money. There must sha be something to make them submissive. Submissiveness by default is rare.

your last statement make cold catch me bro.

[quote author=strungup79 post=85389072]I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.


Listen very well,if you must survive this,you must learn how to endure this trying period I faced similar situation for about three years until God answered me last July.Just cry more to God and don't hold anything against your wife and don't let anything she does surprises you that's how it has been.I am happy you are not the lazy type just pick whatever your hand could find to support the family you will soon overcome and earn your position back.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

The man that will marry this one is very unlucky, OMG why Him??

BiggyB242:


They are rare as you have said but there are things which are most important. Most women are loyal because of the money their husband possess. I need the cash not impress one woman but to leave a better life and give my family one; immediate and extended.

Na so e b bros.

Dear Men

Life is all about the High and the Low....sadly most men date and marry when life is on the High for them...they hardly have the opportunity to test their woman's attitude when they are Low....forget anything anyone tells u about a woman's love....the true test of loyalty is a woman's attitude towards her money and her perception of you when you are broke....always find a way to test this before marriage...so u can atleast get into marriage with a clear understanding of who u are dealing with

Ladycewhy:
will the story be the same if he was married to a white woman? Abegi ,all this talk is bullshit. Which is why i laugh when i see deluded men write "hustle ,you can get any woman you want" . when the money vanish all that is left is bruised ego and resentment. They become frustrated because the only thing they had for control was the money they put on the table. Which is the main issue the op is facing. Many Nigerian men believe "he who pays the piper dictates the tune "in a marriage,well the op cant pay the piper any more ,too bad.

well ,I'll agree with u on this..madam uve won ,dont mention me again na

uninspired07:


You lie. There are no loyal Nigerian women. The fact is you may be doing well financially & they have no reason whatsoever to be disloyal.

But to each his own though.

..By "women" , does that includes your Mum?

RisenPhoenix:
Your mistake was permitting her to become the breadwinner. When you experienced a downturn, you should have adjusted your family's standards of living down to comfortable levels accordingly, instead of using her own money to maintain that standard. Because you couldn't relinquish the good life, you have effectively relinquished control over your home. No matter how little you make, adjust your expenses to stay within that income. Do not touch her money under any circumstances.

Lolz! Are you speaking from experience. A partner is a help mate. Who is your supposed to be trusted to help without any drama.

Now you say relinquish your comfort, do u really have any idea how bad his financial situation is? You want the children to start drinking garri from bread and tea? My point is, it's easier said than done. Circumstances can make you helpless for a while.

Amhappy:


If it's my elder brother becomes a house husband God Forbid,i will ginger him to get his arse out and work or do business. There's nothing wrong in him washing his wife clothes my husband washes mine but it's not a full time job nor will it put food on the table. Sitting at home and doing house work only will kill the morale of any ambitious woman talkless a man. You can only do that for a meantime while working your way out. Those that value their spouse taking over their manly duty reciprocate by taking care of the home more. It's never a problem for a family that walk together.

..OK madam ...there is an iota of truth in what u just said..

pocohantas:


-He doesn't have money.
-He doesn't want to do demeaning chores.
-He wants the wife to hustle for ALL the money and do demeaning chores when she gets back home tired.
-He wants to continue knacking the already tired wife with his God given big prick.

What is he?

A HUMAN DILDÔ

Only cougars want such.

the annoying part is they talk trash about Nigerian women ,but the fact is he cant try that nonsense with white women ,na street she go fling e luggage put. They do shit they cant try with foreign women and still come here to talk nonsense. Funny enough many women are putting up with men like the op just to keep their homes and massage his ego. See that one talking about chores being demeaning so women who have been doing it unkor ?

uninspired07:


My brother no be only you ooo. And money no come dey sotey to enter relationship sef na war.

Lol, with what people are going through in marriages lately. I really do not think that it is worth it.


I do not pray to encounter such women in life ooh. But if it happens and then I finally bounce back. Oh my God, that woman will wish she never came across me in her entire life.

ecology:



Listen very well,if you must survive this,you must learn how to endure this trying period I faced similar situation for about three years until God answered me last July.Just cry more to God and don't hold anything against your wife and don't let anything she does surprises you that's how it has been.I am happy you are not the lazy type just pick whatever your hand could find to support the family you will soon overcome and earn your position back.

Same thing I told him. Cry to God... He will. Answer.

Chikicaka:


You go girl, one piece of advice, as much as you use whatever pain he may have caused to propel your hustle, never let "peppering" him be your major driving force, because revenge is for the Lord, karma would catch up with him herself and when you finally get to the point you dream of you may have no more ginger because getting back at him was the sole purpose for your intense hustle, for example in my case my driving force was my parents esp my sweet mama, I needed her to enjoy and my future kids I needed them to know mama is no push over but a boss chick...

I get you. Not sole purpose. Never will be. I've always had a drive to excel anyways, his is just extra ginger. I have a purpose, know it and that equally drives me. Thanks.

LordKO:
If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

I sent you a pm sir

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

You will most likely make a bad wife,


that's if you aren't one already

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

All these new generation ladies are the same.
For singles guys, pls be wise. Because of financial challenge, love has flown out of the window.
Women are woe upon men.

otipoju:
Every situation is different. If her.

A woman will collect money from one guy and five it to another. An ex girlfriend told me one day " that men make the mistake of thinking money is all women want" she said do you know why i like you- you make me feel good about myself.


Na women dey

So what was that you were telling your ex?

Sterope:
You failed to mention how these men enslave their wives and kids when he is the brradwinner. The only reason they respect him is because of his ability to provide. You also failed to tell us how some of these men become just a mere figurehead in the house.

Would you in all sincerity marry a partner that does absolutely nothing in the house? A woman that does not have a job would at the barest minimum ensure the house is running smoothly. What would most egotistical men in that position do? Nothing!!! Having a penis is not an excuse for irresponsibility. A man has to be responsible in the home. If he cannot provide, he can at least find other ways to be responsible.

Many good women with good husbands will gladly have their husbands back when the chips are down. It is a given!

Stop deceiving yourself. Don't try to put men in the same box with women in this regard to balance the equation. When men are breadwinners, they do not enslave their wives instead their family benefits from their wealth. When women are breadwinners, the husband suffers, the husband gets disrespected, and the husband gets sidelined. The op did not enslave his wife. He treated her well and all he gets in return is to be sidelined, disrespected, and have his children turned against him. You didn't mention this or acknowledge the fact that men can face hard times instead you thought up that men enslave their wives when they are breadwinners and do nothing when broke so therefore everything is balanced. Even if men enslaved their wives, does the innocent op who didn't enslave his wife deserve what he is getting?

Who told you that he is not responsible?

"A man has to be responsible in the home. If he cannot provide, he can at least find other ways to be responsible."

In what other way can he be responsible? Keep beating about the bush. You, just funmisticqueen, is try to make it seem like it's the man's fault that his wife is a horrible individual. Of course, it's never the woman's fault. You and I know that as long as his money is gone, his wife will keep on treating him this way even if he "... at least find other ways to be responsible." Be deceiving yourself.

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

Calm down Bro.No curse is against you .I know is difficult but hold on.You will bounce back, do not allow this situation to get you depressed or frustrated that will be a disaster.I wish you get something doing far away from home.

Be calm please.

kingreign:


Crinkun crankun

Abi. When we are not goats so what are we doing with flowers. Ogbeni show us tha money

Don't give up just hold on and continue soon heaven will pick ur call.just be calm and watch soon she will come pleading

strungup79:


You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

People don't realize that for 99% of ladies, life is all about manipulation and control.

Really it's society that makes them that way, because they overcompensate while trying to make up for what they lack in terms of brawn (physical strength and aggression) and the general handicap they grow up with while learning to function in, and eventually functioning as adults in a patriarchal society.