RisenPhoenix:
It's not too late. Get a divorce, she's now a liability on your back. No man can function after he has been emasculated. Hustle hard, marry a more supportive wife, and try to keep in touch with your kids as much as possible.

The last thing you want to be in when you are in economic downturn is a toxic relationship that drags you further down; mentally and emotionally.

Good luck.

tunjilana:
Dear Men

Life is all about the High and the Low....sadly most men date and marry when life is on the High for them...they hardly have the opportunity to test their woman's attitude when they are Low....forget anything anyone tells u about a woman's love....the true test of loyalty is a woman's attitude towards her money and her perception of you when you are broke....always find a way to test this before marriage...so u can atleast get into marriage with a clear understanding of who u are dealing with

isyourboy:
I urged all the men, both married and single, to come to this thread as as a matter of urgency.

cc : ubunja, Martinez39, pansophist and others.

Something I Just want to reiterate is that" women have no Love to give".

The ordeal which this guy narrated here happened to my uncle. He was a big man, a director. About 4 years ago, 2015, he lost his stands and was unable to regain his footing. his wife took the reign and start directing the affairs of the house. Everybody thought this is a good woman. Months later, this woman bought her cold attitude and started dishing insults to the man all because he could not provide. just last year, the man died- depression.

Women are tool good only to be bleeped and discard. If you're a man forming love, you're to be blamed

chigoizie7:


Lol, with what people are going through in marriages lately. I really do not think that it is worth it.


I do not pray to encounter such women in life ooh. But if it happens and then I finally bounce back. Oh my God, that woman will wish she never came across me in her entire life.

Ladycewhy:
the annoying part is they talk trash about Nigerian women ,but the fact is he cant try that nonsense with white women ,na street she go fling e luggage put. They do shit they cant try with foreign women and still come here to talk nonsense. Funny enough many women are putting up with men like the op just to keep their homes and massage his ego. See that one talking about chores being demeaning so women who have been doing it unkor ?

Brightgem:
I get you. Not sole purpose. Never will be. I've always had a drive to excel anyways, his is just extra ginger. I have a purpose, know it and that equally drives me. Thanks.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

funmisticqueen:
coming from you, that's a compliment.

I tell you what you don't want to hear but need to understand. My words chip away your armor and burrow into your soul

awwfar:
Nawa..this one pass me o..but I don't think there's anything you can do right now..focus on getting back on your feet.. that should be your main goal and priority now...just park her fr one side and get back up there

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

midnighter:


What an irresponsible and mean-minded person you must be, to refrain from giving a struggling person any advice other than divorce.

MrSly:

That is life for women. The most pitiable individual in this life isn't a sick beggar or a mad individual, no. The most pitiable is a male adult being fed by a woman who isn't his mother.

isyourboy:
I urged all the men, both married and single, to come to this thread as as a matter of urgency.

cc : ubunja, Martinez39, pansophist and others.

Something I Just want to reiterate is that" women have no Love to give".

The ordeal which this guy narrated here happened to my uncle. He was a big man, a director. About 4 years ago, 2015, he lost his stands and was unable to regain his footing. his wife took the reign and start directing the affairs of the house. Everybody thought this is a good woman. Months later, this woman bought her cold attitude and started dishing insults to the man all because he could not provide. just last year, the man died- depression.

Women are tool good only to be bleeped and discard. If you're a man forming love, you're to be blamed

Martinez39:
Stop deceiving yourself. Don't try to put men in the same box with women in this regard to balance the equation. When men are breadwinners, they do not enslave their wives instead their family benefits from their wealth. When women are breadwinners, the husband suffers, the husband gets disrespected, and the husband gets sidelined. The op did not enslave his wife. He treated her well and all he gets in return is to be sidelined, disrespected, and have his children turned against him. You didn't mention this or acknowledge the fact that men can face hard times instead you thought up that men enslave their wives when they are breadwinners and do nothing when broke so therefore everything is balanced. Even if men enslaved their wives, does the innocent op who didn't enslave his wife deserve what he is getting?

Who told you that he is not responsible?

In what other way can he be responsible? Keep beating about the bush. You, just funmisticqueen, is try to make it seem like it's the man's fault that his wife is a horrible individual. Of course, it's never the woman's fault. You and I know that as long as his money is gone, his wife will keep on treating him this way even if he "... at least find other ways to be responsible." Be deceiving yourself.

Martinez39:


That is how all women behave when you are not useful in the providing department.

Michellekabod2:
he is no more on nairaland self. He complained of receiving hate whereas he dishes out hate....

Kekereekun123:
same thing happened to by father. But he is not without blame. He never took advices my mother gave e.g build a school, build houses for rent. Stop father chrismas. My father was the largest donor to our church building project, he sponsored many inlaws and siblings in school and abroad , encouraged an apprentice that used to repair our lister generator to go to school and sponsored him. His driver built house in ota with his assistance. He believed givers never lacked. At the turn of the century technology made his business obsolete. Every other business he tried all failed or was duped till he became broke. Those who built schools were already cashing in my mum used to tell him. My mum would later go to hustle abroad she used his usa account. He took 4000 usd from her money . Still could not get back on his feet. To pay our school fees na beg we beg tire as she said its our papa duty. By the time by mum came back to nigeria after 9 years she don build 3 houses (12 flats) and started a thriving business. My dad also went to usa for 3 year could not hustle like my mama. Had to come back. We sha rough am. My mama later begin dey do the needful to us but not to my father. Today our last born twins don graduate. My mother is still a big madam while my father na me and my big bro dey send am 70k combined monthly.

The effect of this in my life is i dont trust any woman with money. Any woman wey no fit spend on me freely is not a wife.

strungup79:


It would have been understandable to me if I was a wicked husband or used to bully her.

Brightgem:
Lolz! Are you speaking from experience. A partner is a help mate. Who is your supposed to be trusted to help without any drama.

Brightgem:

Now you say relinquish your comfort, do u really have any idea how bad his financial situation is? You want the children to start drinking garri from bread and tea? My point is, it's easier said than done. Circumstances can make you helpless for a while.

otipoju:


You are a true G. I came to realise first in theory and then in practical that
" women do not love. they calculate".

I noticed one day back in 2007 when my girlfriend had been acting up the whole day saw an alert of 50k on my phone when i was in the bathroom.

Her mood just change, person wey no like to watch ball follow me go viewing center go watch oo. After some bottles come see as she dey scream fanatically for Chelsea that day.

We went back to my place and come see passion on steriods. I just dey laugh for my mind sey see this muntula.

The next day she carry bill come i tell am sey i no get shishi sey dem take one money send me message.

pocohantas:


People wey no well. He should better logout and go help the breadwinner of the home.

RisenPhoenix:


When you are in a toxic relationship as a man, it consumes your time, saps your energy and drags you down. Have you heard of the saying: "behind every successful man there's a woman"? Well, that woman is not the type who keeps her husband stressed, she's the one who pulls all the emotional stress away from him and keeps him focused and encouraged on his important tasks. This woman is adding financial value to the relationship, but only in exchange for keeping him stressed and unproductive. He will never grow with her.

I am not writing a script for telemundo here. I am trying to help the op out of his rut.

Sterope:
So she should be eating garri when she can afford to eat rice to make him happy. Do we alls till think women are not enslaved in marriages?

Life will soon reset your brain.

funmisticqueen:
marriage is not about control. Money is what gives control. Stop misquoting me from your place of pain.

Also stop this 'poor me' 'boohoo' victim mentality, it is irritating and pathetic. You are the one emasculating yourself, by allowing yourself to be emasculated.

Most likely money was all you had to offer in the marriage and now that you have lost that, you are just like an appendix in your marriage. Existing without function, but capable of causing hell because no one cares about it anymore.

It is not about bringing more money but showing that you are a leader, and being her support. Give her a reason to trust you by showing initiative. Do you think women like to be bread winners? She is picking up your slack.Of course She will be pissed at you subconsciously.

Be proactive, anticipate needs in the marriage that you can provide and meet them without being told or nagged. Convince her that you are still necessary in your marriage. Get your head out of your asshole and be man.


This is the most candid advice you will get from me or on your thread

Martinez39:
Stop deceiving yourself. Don't try to put men in the same box with women in this regard to balance the equation. When men are breadwinners, they do not enslave their wives instead their family benefits from their wealth. When women are breadwinners, the husband suffers, the husband gets disrespected, and the husband gets sidelined. The op did not enslave his wife. He treated her well and all he gets in return is to be sidelined, disrespected, and have his children turned against him. You didn't mention this or acknowledge the fact that men can face hard times instead you thought up that men enslave their wives when they are breadwinners and do nothing when broke so therefore everything is balanced. Even if men enslaved their wives, does the innocent op who didn't enslave his wife deserve what he is getting?

Who told you that he is not responsible?

In what other way can he be responsible? Keep beating about the bush. You, just funmisticqueen, is try to make it seem like it's the man's fault that his wife is a horrible individual. Of course, it's never the woman's fault. You and I know that as long as his money is gone, his wife will keep on treating him this way even if he "... at least find other ways to be responsible." Be deceiving yourself.