I can imagine what u are going through, just be focused and hustle u can do odd jobs and save more even if it's warrant u to move out from the house u can even put up with a friend or relative or even parents for the main time. When i found myself in such situation I asked my self how much was my salary? I said I will make x 2 I stared driving a bus and before u know it I was making over 10k daily I saved a good part of that money until I bought another. That was when I knew that hustle pays. Now I have gotten another job and doing very well in business too. U can do the same there is dignity in labour, imagine someone like me that worked for over 5yrs in the bank now driving a bus, but I was not deterred but today God heard my prayers 2 weeks after my second daughter was born. I strongly believe that god performs miracles bro.

Just determine to break the jinx and think positively sure it will turn around believe me just keep trying

this new year una done start with complain and regrets.complain no dey tire una? brace up like a man and face your problems gallantly.stop washing ur soiled,tathered dirty pants publicly and suning them openly for all to see.i mean stop bringing ur problems to the open for people to debate on.stop making ur family issues an object of social media discussion.you are only making mockery of urself and family.it does not help.it would only breed more animousity and confusion in your heart and this would unleash hatred on your family.learn to take ur problems to God.and be patient with people. especially ur family.no matter what u experience with ur wife be patient and respond with love.not hatred.remember that tough times never last. tough people do.

Alexandre7:


Lol...

You & Nigerian Men.

But most Nigerian Women don’t appreciate gifts like flowers & chocolates.

They rather have Cash, Cold Stone, Pizza & Chicken.

So entirely unfair to place the blame squarely on Nigerian Men.

Meanwhile Happy New Year,

May this year bring you and your family good tidings.

Yes, you are right. I am not placing all the blame on them, I am saying- they know the standard. Skip the complains and keep making money.

Happy new year to you too. Hope you are enjoying your villa. I missed you

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

Women are like that ooooo.... the God that change the fortune of your wife for good would change mine for good in Jesus name... If a man doesn't have money, na really wahala

strungup79:


You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

But you're complaining about losing control.

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

I
can imagine what u are going through, just be focused and hustle u can do odd jobs and save more even if it's warrant u to move out from the house u can even put up with a friend or relative or even parents for the main time. When i found myself in such situation I asked my self how much was my salary? I said I will make x 2 I stared driving a bus and before u know it I was making over 10k daily I saved a good part of that money until I bought another. That was when I knew that hustle pays. Now I have gotten another job and doing very well in business too. U can do the same there is dignity in labour, imagine someone like me that worked for over 5yrs in the bank now driving a bus, but I was not deterred but today God heard my prayers 2 weeks after my second daughter was born. I strongly believe that god performs miracles bro.

Yinibixema:

Olosho stfu. Ugly fool who can’t take her family out of okokomaiko talking about making money as if she has mademoney for herself or her wretched family. Go and make money and stop giving foolish advice here mofo

Ahh, this insult too much fa. I know she is wrong but come to think of it most women encounter far worst things like OP here did. She is thinking from that perspective so jut cut her some slack

maak400:

Sorry about your predicament sir, I can only imagine what you’re going through. That’s the nature of women who suddenly become richer than their husband, similar cases like yours abound everywhere. God did not create women to be the provider of the house, so anytime circumstances happen to make a woman the provider, they simply become proud and treat the husband like shit. Just keep praying and hoping that your business bounces back. Also, ensure that you still put your foot down as the head of your home no matter what attitude your wife is displaying.

I had my own share of this experience few years ago but now God is returning back the control.

@OP => This is the best advice so far, do it and God will help you. That was exactly what I did and today, things are going back to normal. No matter your downfall or failure, you are still the head, so stand your ground as a man and be seriously prayerful, Women are not given to head a home as the head but to manage.

God bless you, you shall be back stronger in Jesus name

Kendumazy:
I guess you didn't pray about your relationship or you didn't get to do spiritual consultation about the kind of person your wife is. See, when it comes to two people coming together to get married. There are a lot of things involved. A wife star might superceed that of the husband and atimes it could be the other way round. These are parts of what parents sees that make them stand their ground that their son or daughter won't get married to a particular person. Not that the person is bad but it's just that, we all have the star we carry. You don't need to fight your wife. You just need some prayer or spiritual journey to see what could be the cause of your downfall or you can try and leave the home for like a month and watch any changes.

I politely disagree with all these consultations and stuffs if you like consult till tomorrow spouse that’ll Bleep go still Bleep up and without consulting the loyal ones will still stay loyal forever

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

Get this once! There is no curse on you or any misfortune. You are 42 years old. Do not expect to get employed easily when there are younger applicants with fresh energy and prospect.
Just keep keeping on! Perhaps, you may experience better season. And if nothing changes, keep your dignity and self respect intact while you maintain the status quo!

simonlee:
simple trick....

use a strange number to forward a text to your phone that reads "i will give you N20million and an oil company job if you divorce your wife and marry me"...
then see if she wouldn't go back to factory settings!

Na lie that won't change the evil woman

pocohantas:


Yes, you are right. I am not placing all the blame on them, I am saying- they know the standard. Skip the complains and keep making money.

Happy new year to you too. Hope you are enjoying your villa. I missed you

It takes grace to ignore comments like this. It’s a new year jareee.

Your actions won’t affect me.

e author=strungup79 post=85389072]I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.[/quote]

Women of these days can only respect you if u r financially strong it's unfortunate the only advice is to lie low and bounce back

Op get your things, leave the house for her and the children, relocate to any other part of the country to struggle and start life all over again, then always commit your struggles into the hands of God and see what determination, perseverance, hardwork and prayers can do

Most contemporary women respect their husbands because of money. Only few women respect ther struggling husband naturally.

Just kill her

DuxofMen:
There's nothing wrong with being a feminist. It depends on your definition of feminism. One of my colleagues like to announce that she's the most submissive feminist in the world. We all know her, she's hard as nails, very tough, very uncompromising but doesn't joke with her husband. In fact it's a common joke in our office, when she's being obstinate, that we'll call Mr A. to talk to her. She's a deaconness in church and I've heard her say many times, that many of those who propagate feminism, don't know what true feminism is all about. For instance, being a submissive wife is true feminism rather than looking for equality.

Thank you! Finally somebody gets it. All is not lost.

Thank you

You need to see the kind of stupidity people use to quote me in the name of "feminism". Feminism didnt tell you to mess up your marriage and feminism doesnt tell you to be arrogant, unnecessarily argumentative and stupid!!

Somebody will just unleash their bad character on another human and call it feminism smh

LINTUNE:
but u were saying something else,that's one thing about we humans, we are just too selfish, u advising a man to do demeaning home chores cos he lost his job recently and his wife just started providing,now u are saying u wouldnt want that for ur bro,even if he is in the OP's shoe,how selfish of u.pukes!

So who made it a necessity for Nigerian women to only do such demeaning home chores? I have seen men who do chores and even pound yam and heaven did not fall. You cannot expect a woman to go to work all day and come back and still come and cook for you with her own money while all you do is sit and do nothing. I am sure the op cant even bath his children and prepare them for school.

A white man will cordinate his home in the event of loosing his job with no hassle. If chores are too demeaning for the op, let him put his money where his mouth is (pun intended). I am sure if he was married to a white woman he will not have a problem being a house husband ,go and ask our Yankee brothers how they suddenly have a factory reset when they travel out.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

U dis ugly hippopotamus u av started again...
Always trying to convert family problems into male vs female superiority battle.


Madam go n marry.

simonlee:
simple trick....

use a strange number to forward a text to your phone that reads "i will give you N20million and an oil company job if you divorce your wife and marry me"...
then see if she wouldn't go back to factory settings!

That might give the wife liberty to cheat on him and finally crush his already broken heart to dust.

strungup79:

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

What do you mean by her parents and siblings taking over your home? Are they living with you?

And what kind of order were you trying to restore? What's your definition of order?

DNSPro:


That whole package is rare. It's like 1 in 100.

Few minutes ago, I was saying to myself, some men will say their wife is different since they are well off.

But these men need to start asking questions like: if I am broke, will this woman still stand by me?

They are rare as you have said but there are things which are most important. Most women are loyal because of the money their husband possess. I need the cash not impress one woman but to leave a better life and give my family both immediate and extended.

I'm sorry to read this. It's not a good place at all.

So here's what I'll do.

Let me start with a Yoruba proverb. "Ti Ina Ba Njo Ni, To Njo Omo E ni, Ti Ara Eni La Nko Gbon".

You need to leave this woman before she brings hired assassins to off you. Based one what you wrote, you are of no more value to her.

Good luck.

Ladycewhy:
So who made it a necessity for Nigerian women to only do such demeaning home chores? I have seen men who do chores and even pound yam and heaven did not fall. You cannot expect a woman to go to work all day and come back and still come and cook for you with her own money while all you do is sit and do nothing. I am sure the op cant even bath his children and prepare them for school.

A white man will cordinate his home in the event of loosing his job with no hassle. If chores are too demeaning for the op, let him put his money where is mouth is (pun intended). I am sure if he was married to a white woman he will not have a problem being a house husband ,go and ask our Yankee brothers how the suddenly have a factory reset .

OK o..if u say so,if u say u don't mind ,even if ur elder bro should be in the same shoe...alright

Alexandre7:


Lol...

You & Nigerian Men.

But most Nigerian Women don’t appreciate gifts like flowers & chocolates.

They rather have Cash, Cold Stone, Pizza & Chicken.

True that. What are we doing with flowers? If a man gives me flowers i will use it to cook vegetable soup for him. As for chocolates... seriously do you want to cause her tooth decay? Make sure you include Listerine anti-gingivitis mouthwash in the gift pack if you must buy your woman chocolates.

Cash, Cold Stone, Pizza and Chicken are the languages of love

uninspired07:


Where do we get these kind of people? Which women are loyal?

I think you suck up to women so you may get laid or something. Women are not loyal, at alllll—especially Nigerian women. I fear them a lot.

..Well,experience and background differs.Your believe might have been shaped by the calibre of women in your live, mine are very loyal to a fault.

And marriage gets scarier to me by the day.

uninspired07:


Where do we get these kind of people? Which women are loyal?

I think you suck up to women so you may get laid or something. Women are not loyal, at alllll—especially Nigerian women. I fear them a lot.

..Well,experience and background differs.Your beliefs might have been shaped by the calibre of women in your live, mine are very loyal to a fault.

DCmonster:
OP, now you know why your wife agreed to marry you years back. Most nigerian women marry for security and money. They marry who the believe can provide and protect them anyday and when you can't do both any longer, marital woe sets in. Presently my fiancee earns more than me and lives in her own house, but she never gives me bullshit because we are together for partnership and companionship and no other reason.

What kind of partnership is that ?

Emasculating!! Strange but strong word. Mr Man, you need to sit her down and tell her to fear God.

Ishilove:

True that. What are we doing with flowers? If a man gives me flowers i will use it to cook vegetable soup for him. As for chocolates... seriously do you want to cause her tooth decay? Make sure you include Listerine anti-gingivitis mouthwash in the gift pack if you must buy your woman chocolates.

Cash, Cold Stone, Pizza and Chicken are the languages of love

Crinkun crankun