@papaejima20199

Your Case is a normal with most married men here.

Even the ones blaming you below.

In whatever case may be, Nature must adjust.

sex drive is natural.
But what happens is why a woman's active sexual age starts from15/16---25/27... That of men is super from 30 till when he can't walk properly...

Most times u won't blame men like ned nwoko.

The 4yrs gap is close between u guys, sorry it is how it is.
You can't get help here.

Any lady of same age with you, is literally 4yrs older than u, in things of life.

so if u are 4yrs older, she is literally ur age mate.

Sex life declining in her is a normal and she isn't ready to help it.

I keep saying it, 75% of men who keeps side chick, are forced into it by their wives.

Available

I think this girl has used something to wash her kitten for u and you are so damn effing addicted to it... I can see that she is using it to collect your destiny... Stop before it's too late!

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

Haba!
Whether the story is fake or not is not the issue but the lessons learnt. Must a story be true before people learn from it?

Most films we've been privileged to watch are fictions but lessons learnt are immeasurable.

APCNig:


Girlfriends are just there to put spice into your sex life, nothing more. Just fucck for some months and move on to the next victim. Despite the fact that adultery is bad, very very bad, but the reality of life is that men get bored of their wives and want to spice up their sex drive once in a while, that is what side chick are there for. Never ever marry a side chick. If you do the mistake of marrying her, after few years, you will get tired of her and look for another girl to spice up your sexual appeal. A side chick should remain a side chick until you are done with her and move to the next.

Lmao @ victim

Mr I deeply understand your state and the exciting feeling of sex that you are missing.....
You can't just b a workaholic without d estacy feeling of sex...in fact 4 men is more than important ...
But d truth is I would not advise to leave your wife for a flirty so called girl you met ...it not really making sense..coz I bliv she knew you r married, yet she still going on with u...which simply interprets that if u decide to go 4 her finally she will do same thing she does to u to another man..
Instead call ur woman seat her down...explain things to her very well on how much u miss ur sex life...Tell her d sex life is the only thing missing in ur marriage..
You can even spring up the topic that this is about making you look outside for someone that will satisfy u sexually..just like a flip tip..to see her reaction..No woman in her sense will want to hear that...Talk to her a cool tune ,you can even started stating things that u v done in order to keep d family...Tell her that is making sick and unstable...

Or if her mom is still alive and u know she a good mother in law to you..u can let her mother know about it ..it isn't bad at all

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

Maybe he meant 11 year old twins

Just saying

Men will always be men... if truely u want your wife happiness just ensure you dnt allow her catch you plss there are so many married men in that situation trying to make things work buh it doesn’t really go welll.. after d wives puts to bed to about 3kids Dey loose that sexy shape we do see in them.. Dey tend not to b attractive anymore.. just ensure she doesn’t catch u.. and keeping been a father to your family ensure u play your part well.. no one is a saint

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

The moment I saw that part, I knew something was fishy but I was thinking he probably meant to type 11years

Nigerians are never problem solvers. i read comments and all i can see, most parts are sentiments based comments.

It is obvious this guy is unhappy. He may die unhappy man. It is obvious he really wants help improve his sexual life with his wife but she is not doing so.

I know this type of problem! Bro, I can understand ur plight. Here is what i will suggest for u. U will leave this earth, never leave an unhappy man. Seems ur wife is the happy one here becus the marriage suites her sexual desire. On the other part, you have a higher drive. It is normal. It is u.

So, there is no easy way out of this. U and ur wife are adults. It is either u play along with ur side chick. Dont wife her. Make her a side chick, she is still young. Before she will be settling down, u must av enjoyed her as well, if she settles down and leaves, u will surely get another side chick. U keep doing it this way until u are complete tired of sex. Sex is very important in life. People have different rate of drive. So, dont say becus of 'ordinary sex'. It maybe ordinary to u but not ordinary to another person. I am referring to comments.

Another option for u bro is to initial a meeting with a counselor. I mean, a professional one. Tell the counselor the entire gist. The person knows what best to do. The person may invite ur wife over, and u two sits down while he spills the milk. She either chooses to sit up or divorce. Like u said, no way out is easier.. But the last thing u should do is to die unhappy.


U have desire for this, it must not follow u to grave. The best option I suggest is maintain ur secret affairs with ur side chick. U can even get her an apartment, book times u spend with her and enjoy ur desire.

Thanks to all that have contributed before me. Bro, try and the house comfortable to your wife because you have not told us the house you are leaving for instance face me and face you or a room and parlour, and you still have someone leaving with you in the house. Ask her or check weather their is wound in her private area, for instance their is a house wife that have wound and she don't want to inform her husband and whenever her husband demand for intercourse, the woman will turn her husband down. Also, creat time to bath your wife and ask her the problem in a roman way. You can also listen to married programs or go to marriage seminar together. Also, washing of adult film together but you need to be careful with that. May God help you don't welcome another woman

thank you for being candid, a good read and perfect explanations, plz think of being a writer the literary world need you...now to my advise, bros i really appreciate your concern for your family and as a man who has a high libido i know how u feel and how much you need sex but bros as a christian i can never encourage adultery, fornication or sex outside marriage, whatever you have to do with your wife to get your groove back do it even if you have to see a therapist after all even kanye west is seeing a sex therapist right now with kim! please pray for forgiveness for the one you have done already, give your life to Christ and ask him to help you mend your sex life in your marriage...no external sexual satisfaction in marriage please do not incur the wrath of God because of temporary happiness...cheers

That happiness and peace you have after committing adultery is an expensive graveyard peace and happiness. You'll soon realize how deadly path you've trodden when you find your self in hell because of sex, not worth it. Repent now, confess to your wife your wrongdoing, ask for her forgiveness and let her heal and heal your family in turn, while doing away with all those flimsy excuses for flirting that holds no water. Disassociate yourself from that lady and all others in her company forthwith, anybody that makes you abandon your family for them is an ungodly person, and an ungodly person is a devils agent. If you continue with her soon you'll have reason(s) to leave her and that may be the beginning of your downfall. You need more time in prayer with your maker, the flesh will loose its avarice power and influence over you if you work hard and grow your spirit man. You are your family's spiritual gate-man, unfortunately you have unknowingly left your duty post in pursuit of Satan's bait while exposing your family to danger. Try and wake up fast before the devil pay you a real visit and you might spend your entire life savings in a twinkle of an eye, or develop a sudden high BP when your wife becomes possessed by the spirit of infidelity which you might find difficult to cope with. A word is enough for the wise, and may God have mercy on your soul!

KAYAMATA AT WORK

Bro I feel Ur pain.
Same shoes here, talked to her but did not change.

Bro do what u have to do
Life is just oncea
What ever will happen will still happen and life will face it.

Wife's changes when they are fully in.

Wise up and don't die in silence.

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

Bro we've all been there. It's one of those tiny challenges men encounter.
The truth is there are alot of women that could give you good sex including prostitutes.

Now would you marry a prostitute because she gives you good sex ? You're most likely one of her many clients. Just see how you're exposing your wife to infections.

Not all "good sex" givers will make good wives.
So what happens if you leave your wife now, get married to this "good sex" giver and after a year or two she stops giving you that "good sex" what would you do ? Marry another ?

You seriously want to throw away 12 good years of marriage because of "good sex" ? Just see how blessed you are with a set of twins.

Now we all need to know marriage is not a bed of Roses, it requires a conscious decision to make it work. A conscious decision has to be made to love your spouse regardless.

Pls don't even contemplate on that matter. You have a good wife and a lovely family. You probably didn't explore and exploit before getting married but that's ok. Your case is too elementary, pls man up and save your lovely home.

Cheers

donstan18:
We so much cherish and value new things more than old ones thinking they are the best, forgetting that the new ones will still turn old.

Bruv, don't ever leave your good wife for a side chick because of sex. Sex is something any lady can offer, but not all ladies possesses wifely attributes.

Kindly keep your wife and do whatever that will bring you sexual happiness in a reasonable way without hurting your wife and family.

Your comments make good sense these days. U ar on point.

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

You've been reading a lot in the past few months, enough to know the kind of threads our ffucking mods push to front page and gullible users contribute mindlessly to.

OlawaleBammie:


Better tell ur wife the real gist to make her sit right and u guys should work more on ur sexuality and attractiveness.

But wait, is divorce the solution to everything? cus me i dont understand oo

Me i cant divorce oo, i would rather go polygamous... Anybody that tell me polygamy is a sin should also tell me if David, Solomon, Abraham, Job, Jacob, Mohammed and the rest are currently in hellfire., If u cant tell me dat den shut whatsoever in ur mind up...

Whether or not polygamy is sin is really not the issue but the problem that comes with polygamy!! I hop u read the full story of the ppl u mention and the problem polygamy caused them. The resultant effect of one of them is stil causing problem to the world till date!!

Why

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

u allow that thing btw ur two legs to think for u, start helping ur wife in some shores at home and build d can of sex life u want from her, because with d way u are going, u are helding to Golgotha

Try and see the movie..."Why did I get Married" by Tyler Perry. I am certain you will learn a great deal from it to address your issue.

In addition, you 'll understand the 80/20 rule from the movie, perhaps you might have a rethink.

DonEd:


Mature Advice.

@omar09, are u single?

There goes another mumu man. Now repeat after me "Pussy will not ruin my family in Jesus name"

cRobo:
can we blame ur village people already

it's not us o..

appliedscience:

Whether or not polygamy is sin is really not the issue but the problem that comes with polygamy!! I hop u read the full story of the ppl u mention and the problem polygamy caused them. The resultant effect of one of them is stil causing problem to the world till date!!

At ur last statement, u re right but i want u to knw that u cant cheat ink....IT'S WRITTEN BRO...IT'S WRITTEN

And wil i say bcus there was aircraft crashed and killed Emiliano sala and i wil not enter aeroplanes again?? abi i wil cus of road accidents and stop of boarding cars?? no no no


i wil rather go into polygamy than to divorce someone I've once confessed my love to.

Choose this

You wan leave your wife because of tótó? You go regret am if you try am o. Take her out on a weekend and open up to her about your sex life with her, treat her like a new girlfriend and you will see the magic. The way she go dey Bleep you, you no go believe am.

Eze2000:



You don't need to leave your wife. She's simply making a mistake a lot of married women make... taking their man's sex life for granted. Her eyes needs to be opened in a gentle but direct way.

My WhatsApp number is on my profile. Contact me and I will give you an ebook that will do the Job and do it well for you. All you need to do is make sure she starts reading it and it will hold her to the end. Her brain will reset after that and she will be the one talking to you about sex and what you want.

This book has worked for numerous nairaland women and even American women on Amazon. They always come back to thank me. Don't take my word for it, ask for proof.

Chears.

I wonder, will you blame a man if he's not spending enough money on his wife and she cheats on him with a richer man to get that money?

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

Are you sure you're pleasing your wife properly?
How do you know that someone else is not pleasing her?

donstan18:
We so much cherish and value new things more than old ones thinking they are the best, forgetting that the new ones will still turn old.

Bruv, don't ever leave your good wife for a side chick because of sex. Sex is something any lady can offer, but not all ladies possesses wifely attributes.

Kindly keep your wife and do whatever that will bring you sexual happiness in a reasonable way without hurting your wife and family.

Wow... You reason so well Hun... What a wonderful advice... I must commend you... I'm so impressed keep it up..

The lord gave u what others couldn't have.. But thd spirit of your father's house is out there to destroy your destiny wt this... Wont u rather ignite a great sexual life with this woman that God has given u? Or u spend the rest of your life on regrets and pains without remedies... B wise