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Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! - Family (20) - Nairaland

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by emmaodet: 5:28pm On Feb 18, 2020
oshaosha2014:
Exactly my point. Even in the so called developed countries the men still shoulder most of the financial and otherwise responsibilities in a male/female relationship. So, why on earth would a man be chasing a pretty lady with all his financial strength. Some call it ’being responsible.’ it is just you setting a big burden upon your life esp if the lady you are chasing is not the contributing type, which majority of them are. What is I can is really getting men to fall into traps they have set for themselves is the natural urge to have sex, nothing more. A man that can tame that part of himself for a woman who really deserves it, is a small god in a way. We know most men don’t have power over this area of their lives. That is the reason many of this ladies believe they are the best thing after slice bread.


I 100% agree with you.
There is an Insatiable Appetite for Pvssy and more Pvssy by men, i don't know if it is either a Curse or not because it is not natural.
Men spend through their nose just to keep sleeping with women day in day out. To some, it as become a Hobby or a way of Life or a Source of Joy or Addiction.
Here in prodeco camp in Onne-Ph, ladies charge or get $100/night to sleep with Experts or Oyinbo. $100 fvcking dollars - #36,000 for a night pvssy for God sake.
By the time you factor in the cost of lodging in prodeco per night of 30-40k per night plus entertainment - eating expensive Buffet and expensive wine, then 100k may likely be wasted for a night all in the Name of sexx.
Men are something else, when with money, the urge for sex can never be satisfied.
We also settle waaaaayyyyy for less all in the name of sexx.
A man is ready to marry a broke, jobless and unproductive woman just because she has fine face and sure of regular sex while the average woman will Never do that.

5 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by oshaosha2014(m): 6:18pm On Feb 18, 2020
From my perspective, I don’t see anything wrong in a man chasing you date or marry a jobless woman. I have come to realise that the only thing of value to most men of means out there in a woman, is her beauty, youth and virility- her ability to give birth. Most men don’t give a rat ass about what a woman has accomplished, she just has to be good looking and good shape enough for him to marry or date. A lady could be mopping the floor as a job and a billionaire man passes by and fancy her, he goes for her immediately. Most men don’t care about what the lady has achieved in life. That is why the best time a lady should select her life partner should be between 20 to 25 because at that time they are at their best in beauty and physique.But guess what; our ladies prefer to use this time to jump from one highest bidder to another, giving different me. access to their delicate bodies. By the time their are in their late 20s and early 30s they are used up emotionally and can’t pair bond with a serious guy because some of them must have slept with 20 plus men from age 15 to 30. The man that will end up with this kind of ladies is just left with someone who is emotionally jaded - quite used up hence pair bonding with their life partner is impossible. Only a man can have many partners in the past and still have the ability to pair bond with his partner.

emmaodet:


I 100% agree with you.
There is an Insatiable Appetite for Pvssy and more Pvssy by men, i don't know if it is either a Curse or not because it is not natural.
Men spend through their nose just to keep sleeping with women day in day out. To some, it as become a Hobby or a way of Life or a Source of Joy or Addiction.
Here in prodeco camp in Onne-Ph, ladies charge or get $100/night to sleep with Experts or Oyinbo. $100 fvcking dollars - #36,000 for a night pvssy for God sake.
By the time you factor in the cost of lodging in prodeco per night of 30-40k per night plus entertainment - eating expensive Buffet and expensive wine, then 100k may likely be wasted for a night all in the Name of sexx.
Men are something else, when with money, the urge for sex can never be satisfied.
We also settle waaaaayyyyy for less all in the name of sexx.
A man is ready to marry a broke, jobless and unproductive woman just because she has fine face and sure of regular sex while the average woman will Never do that.

4 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by emmaodet: 8:00pm On Feb 18, 2020
oshaosha2014:
From my perspective, I don’t see anything wrong in a man chasing you date or marry a jobless woman. I have come to realise that the only thing of value to most men of means out there in a woman, is her beauty, youth and virility- her ability to give birth. Most men don’t give a rat ass about what a woman has accomplished, she just has to be good looking and good shape enough for him to marry or date. A lady could be mopping the floor as a job and a billionaire man passes by and fancy her, he goes for her immediately. Most men don’t care about what the lady has achieved in life. That is why the best time a lady should select her life partner should be between 20 to 25 because at that time they are at their best in beauty and physique.But guess what; our ladies prefer to use this time to jump from one highest bidder to another, giving different me. access to their delicate bodies. By the time their are in their late 20s and early 30s they are used up emotionally and can’t pair bond with a serious guy because some of them must have slept with 20 plus men from age 15 to 30. The man that will end up with this kind of ladies is just left with someone who is emotionally jaded - quite used up hence pair bonding with their life partner is impossible. Only a man can have many partners in the past and still have the ability to pair bond with his partner.


You raised some good points but about the issue of men not minding whether a woman is productive or not, bro they need to.
In life, different stages require different things.
If you are a poor man, the biggest gift you will appreciate is money if you organize an event because that is what you are lacking most.
If you are okay financially and you have like 2 cars in the compound, you may likely value a house gift to car or money simply because you don't have it.
My point is that, for rich dudes, marrying a jobless, broke or lazy lady won't be a criteria because they get that covered but same yardstick shouldn't be used for poor guys.
Poor guys have no business marrying poor ladies but it is so unfortunate that even the so called rich ladies are not ready to help and marry the poor men thereby causing a landslide in relationship and marriages.
And if these trend continues, in the next 20-30yrs, we will have more financially stable women than men simply because when a man goes up, he brings a woman up all in the name of relationship and marriage, he empowers a woman in the name of marriage.
Infact, if the woman fvcks up and cheats and been dismissed, the community still encourages the man to empower another woman all in the name of marriage even though he may likely suffers the same faith But a woman who inherits her hubby money after his death will rather stay single and be fvcking till she dies than bring a man onboard for empowering.
A woman who decides not to marry can decide to hustle hard and still make it career wise or become lazy and marry a rich dude or become a high class runs girl and still likely make it But moat men Only have one Hard Route - Hustle, Hustle and Hustle.
No slowing down, no taking a break, no marriage to cash out, just Hustle
It is hard out there bro, Hard for guys

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by larryking540: 9:25pm On Feb 18, 2020
proclinician:



That elaktra made me very angry with that input. What does she mean that men should rise up and take care of their bloody kids? I do not support men abandoning their marital responsibilities because it creates chaos and damages. My life is beautiful today because I have a dad that gave me his all and saw me through 8 Years of training. It is important that both parents join hands together in raising their kids and biologically the roles of a mother in child upbringing outweighs that of a man and this is the trend in every mammalian species as most times the males are not their.

I don't know what women are turning out to become in this world and it's scary that's why I don't even give them any chance to come feel special on my inbox.

This elaktra your kids are your responsibility and you will give them all you can in raising it doesn't matter what you received or how it was when you were growing up if you were raised in a broken home or had to change step fathers like you're changing shoes it's pretty bad but inconsequential.

Isaiah 49:15 says
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

Well God you can be the judge now it's all over.

When u hear story of women way sell their wrapper ,to make sure their kids are educated bro not these days lady's o....
Na when money day ladies day dance follow man oo,,some go even pretend reach wedding day ,,,,when everywhere con get as e be ,,they go show u their Tru behavior...

Since last year I have made up my mind not to even think of give a lady hope of wedding ,,,na boyfriend life style I go take give u Belle ,,,,pack ur thinks come my side ,,after years of staying together if u worth am ,congrats church here we come or Court or traditional wedding here we come ,,but if u know worth am ,,,,

I have nothing to lose ,,,na menopause go catch you there ,, since the meaning of commitment is a different definition to them ,,they will have to learn it the hard way .............from me,,,,,



No lady fit force me give engagement ring ,these days they don't worth it bro ,carry them go hux give am Belle,na those type day loyal pass,, because they have invested both times , career and ideology to the relationship ,,no be those ,type way u go jam for ShopRite within 3 months u don give her engagement ring

4 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by ityP(m): 9:46pm On Feb 18, 2020
larryking540:


When u hear story of women way sell their wrapper ,to make sure their kids are educated bro not these days lady's o....
Na when money day ladies day dance follow man oo,,some go even pretend reach wedding day ,,,,when everywhere con get as e be ,,they go show u their Tru behavior...

Since last year I have made up my mind not to even think of give a lady hope of wedding ,,,na boyfriend life style I go take give u Belle ,,,,pack ur thinks come my side ,,after years of staying together if u worth am ,congrats church here we come or Court or traditional wedding here we come ,,but if u know worth am ,,,,

I have nothing to lose ,,,na menopause go catch you there ,, since the meaning of commitment is a different definition to them ,,they will have to learn it the hard way .............from me,,,,,



No lady fit force me give engagement ring ,these days they don't worth it bro ,carry them go hux give am Belle,na those type day loyal pass,, because they have invested both times , career and ideology to the relationship ,,no be those ,type way u go jam for ShopRite within 3 months u don give her engagement ring


Tbvh, no woman no stress you for this life o.

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by ityP(m): 9:46pm On Feb 18, 2020
frozen70:


You got it wrong

If a woman wants to pull out of marriage, she should go with her children if any

But a woman who is depending on her man alone for everything won't be able to take the kids alone

Is she not lazy



Very very lazy grin

2 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by BigJoe19: 10:06pm On Feb 18, 2020
yeyeosoronga:


You've probably done the right thing for you.
You were only able to do this because you're financially able to.
Contrary to popular beliefs, it seems more women contribute financially in their homes than men otherwise most children won't be allowed to go with their mothers when things fall apart.
We see how Churchill is fighting tooth and nail for his son, we saw the way Babangida's son fought for his children with the ex wife, we see how Emeka Ike grabbed all his children from his wife.
However, single mothers doing it all alone far exceeds the number of men who do.
To those shouting in outrage that a woman left her children behind:
I really believe the most capable parent should raise the children, and not necessarily the woman.
It's the normal thing for fathers to also raise their children, but it seems it's only the black race that has a problem with this. Other races will do everything to have access to their children, infact complete custody but here we are arguing that a woman should have complete custody of her children and a father shouldn't have that privilege.
It's a joy to instill your principles, values on your progeny despite the challenges of raising them.
Life in itself is not a smooth ride, and it's time for many men to face their fears of directly raising their children, and conquering those fears.
Women have done it for centuries, some other men are doing it gallantly too. It can be done. You don't need the brain of Einstein , nor the experience of Metuselah. You learn along the way, just as the woman too would. Nothing special when a woman raises a child except for breastfeeding in the first year (maximum). The child will get nourishment, but after that a man can comfortably raise the child. Even without breastfeeding, it can be done with formula, and the child less than 1year would still thrive under its father.
BigJoe19: Please, kindly share with other men on here practical steps you take to raise your children, and how you cope doing so. It might go a long way to dispel the special magic people think they need to raise their own children.
I am not saying fathers cannot raise children, I am just amazed with the way people here left the woman of blames and started saying things that doesn't concern the topic.

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Gamboh55(m): 10:24pm On Feb 18, 2020
emmaodet:


I 100% agree with you.
There is an Insatiable Appetite for Pvssy and more Pvssy by men, i don't know if it is either a Curse or not because it is not natural.
Men spend through their nose just to keep sleeping with women day in day out. To some, it as become a Hobby or a way of Life or a Source of Joy or Addiction.
Here in prodeco camp in Onne-Ph, ladies charge or get $100/night to sleep with Experts or Oyinbo. $100 fvcking dollars - #36,000 for a night pvssy for God sake.
By the time you factor in the cost of lodging in prodeco per night of 30-40k per night plus entertainment - eating expensive Buffet and expensive wine, then 100k may likely be wasted for a night all in the Name of sexx.
Men are something else, when with money, the urge for sex can never be satisfied.
We also settle waaaaayyyyy for less all in the name of sexx.
A man is ready to marry a broke, jobless and unproductive woman just because she has fine face and sure of regular sex while the average woman will Never do that.

Well said bro...but times have changed, men are now wiser and refuse to settle for a jobless woman no matter how pretty. She must bring something to the table, beauty doesn't pay the bills. Marriage in this dispensation is now a game and two can play...

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by emmaodet: 10:37pm On Feb 18, 2020
Gamboh55:


Well said bro...but times have changed, men are now wiser and refuse to settle for a jobless woman no matter how pretty. She must bring something to the table, beauty doesn't pay the bills. Marriage in this dispensation is now a game and two can play...

Exactly.
That is my point.

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by frozen70(f): 11:12pm On Feb 18, 2020
ityP:




Very very lazy grin

That's true

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by openmine(m): 1:20am On Feb 19, 2020
Acidosis:


You get time sha. Why are you begging/pleading?

You have to develop yourself enough to throw a party when someone walks out of your life. It's an avenue to expand your experience and grow.

There are no regrets in my book and, more importantly, I don't suffer heartbreaks. The signs are always there for you to watch and prepare! So before you make the attempt to leave, I am already gone (in my mind).

Also, men need to learn to set their rules. Society shouldn't always tell us what to do. Today is Val and the typical man is out there running helter skelter from one cinema to another restaurant all in the attempt to impress the woman with our society's meaning of love.

Men stup!dly do this out of fear of neglect and heartbreak. Like Sango or Obatala, they fear their gods (women) will abandon them if they fail to perform the yearly ritual. We have turned women into smaller gods we must appease to avoid wrath and calamity. Real gods/God (like mothers and our heavenly father) do not unleash terror because we fail to praise them. Think of those times you failed to praise God. Think of those times you failed to celebrate your mother on "Mother's day". Did your mother abandon you?

Men now act out of fear of abandonment and loneliness, and love of pleasure and other mundane things that can't stand the test of time or lack. Even if you love to spend or cherish your spouse's beautiful face more than your life, create a dummy scenario like these things don't matter to you sometimes.
U deserve an award for this!

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by larryking540: 2:52am On Feb 19, 2020
ityP:



Tbvh, no woman no stress you for this life o.

For real man

The problem in this life man faces everyday ,
And a woman wants to add her own ,bro I day tell her to fuvk off immediately ,,I no Sabi see rubbish they laugh o

2 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by oshaosha2014(m): 9:11am On Feb 19, 2020
I am not disputing your points oh. That is just how life is, it is never fair. No woman wants to marry down. A man naturally would do that even if he is a poor man. Life for the man is tough no doubt.

emmaodet:


You raised some good points but about the issue of men not minding whether a woman is productive or not, bro they need to.
In life, different stages require different things.
If you are a poor man, the biggest gift you will appreciate is money if you organize an event because that is what you are lacking most.
If you are okay financially and you have like 2 cars in the compound, you may likely value a house gift to car or money simply because you don't have it.
My point is that, for rich dudes, marrying a jobless, broke or lazy lady won't be a criteria because they get that covered but same yardstick shouldn't be used for poor guys.
Poor guys have no business marrying poor ladies but it is so unfortunate that even the so called rich ladies are not ready to help and marry the poor men thereby causing a landslide in relationship and marriages.
And if these trend continues, in the next 20-30yrs, we will have more financially stable women than men simply because when a man goes up, he brings a woman up all in the name of relationship and marriage, he empowers a woman in the name of marriage.
Infact, if the woman fvcks up and cheats and been dismissed, the community still encourages the man to empower another woman all in the name of marriage even though he may likely suffers the same faith But a woman who inherits her hubby money after his death will rather stay single and be fvcking till she dies than bring a man onboard for empowering.
A woman who decides not to marry can decide to hustle hard and still make it career wise or become lazy and marry a rich dude or become a high class runs girl and still likely make it But moat men Only have one Hard Route - Hustle, Hustle and Hustle.
No slowing down, no taking a break, no marriage to cash out, just Hustle
It is hard out there bro, Hard for guys
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by GabinoMarket(f): 8:24pm On Feb 19, 2020
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.
Party scatter grin grin
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by sylve11: 7:27am On Sep 14, 2021
bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.

Wisdom! cool
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by RodgersAkpafu: 5:57pm On Sep 26, 2021
Ganjafama:
I have seen a mother ape risk her life to save her baby's life from the bullet of my uncle who is a hunter. I quietly whispered to him not to shoot her. If an ape could be so motherly not to abandon her baby, why can't a human do more?. Again look at the language you used "bloody kids" - so unwomanly.
Sometimes it's best for the man to raise the kids

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by drdeath: 4:52pm On Nov 24, 2021
We4all:


Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them?

And what's wrong if a man takes care of his kids? Are you saying that raising children should be the sole responsibility of a woman? Peradventure a wife dies, is the husband not supposed to cater for their kids?

Look, the problem that man has is not because his wife left him, but rather because he wasn't proactive enough to figure out what he would do if his wife left him.

There is no reason why a man cannot raise his kids by himself when a woman can do so singlehandedly for years, and without any form of support.

I don't feel sorry for the man, and in his next world, he should learn that being a man isn't all about impregnating a woman, but also about learning the act of parenting.
You are extraordinarily daft!

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by We4all: 5:20pm On Nov 24, 2021
drdeath:

You are extraordinarily daft!

I know. I take after your dad.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by wealthtrak: 8:57pm On Nov 29, 2021
bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.
Word! wink

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by XAUBulls: 6:54pm On Jan 31, 2023
OP: Pg 1. Feb 13, 2020
An older friend, who could pass as a dad to me owns a bar and few a letout rooms for short sex or even a day booking.

He recently travelled to see his children abroad and asked me to come assist his wife once a while after work/hustle.

The first scenario:
I was there yesterday and I noticed a man in his 60's and a woman in her 50's, drinking and eating together. Their language was of the Eastern and I understood correctly.

After having some bottles, the woman talked about her husband who was on a business trip and her grown up children at the university and all. She locked her shop to come be with the man.

The man also talked about his wife in the village for a function and grown up children bla bla bla!

The shock:

The man was obviously trying to ask her out.....then she immediately told him that she wouldn't be interested in that. The man now asked what she wants and she said they should be fvck buddies. She said: "Any time my husband is away, I'll call u. "We would come here, drink and fvck well"
The man accepted and they booked an hour and went into a room!
Even though they are older and had grown up children, I still don't like adultery!

2nd scenario:

I noticed this last week.

I saw 2 beautiful kids, a boy (about 4 years) and a girl (about 2 years) playing inside the bar. I asked my friend's wife and she said one of her customer had issues with his wife and the wife left him with the kids.

From her story, the guy use to work and provide for his family, till he lost his job and the wife couldn't cope with the hardship. She abandoned her kids and went away with a rich alhaji. This guy has been taking care of the kids....bathing and feeding them, taking them to school and bringing them back, cleaning poos, etc. His rent expired and the landlord sent him packing forcefully, after some months. The reason he stays in the bar in the mean time.

Around 8pm that day, while he was out hustling, I saw the girl sleeping in an uncomfortable manner; hitting her head on the table while she dozed off, and I just thought to myself while carrying her on my arms so she could sleep well; she's innocent. She didn't bring herself to this world. She should be on bed sleeping now. She obviously hadn't had dinner.

Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them? Where is the love? Is marriage not in good times and in bad times anymore? I had to shed tears while pondering! I was told the man had no one in the city.

I waited till he came back and I spoke with him. He told me the same. I felt so sorry for him. He was looking so tired and stressed. I can't do more than supporting him financially with the little I can.

This has really been disturbing me. Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!

Our mothers suffered with our fathers when the going was tough, why can't we emulate it?
Bump.

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