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Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! (116408 Views)

What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? / What My Fiancee Said Is Bothering Me / What's Your Biggest Fear About Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by elektra(f): 12:51am On Feb 14
cococandy:
You noticed? cheesy
They get so fvcking heated.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by faceURfront(m): 1:29am On Feb 14
elektra:

They get so fvcking heated.

Why are you so upset?

4 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by haryomikun(m): 3:03am On Feb 14
We4all:


Why would a woman abandon her own kids? Even if u don't want the man, can't u take your kids to your parents or even siblings and look after them?

And what's wrong if a man takes care of his kids? Are you saying that raising children should be the sole responsibility of a woman? Peradventure a wife dies, is the husband not supposed to cater for their kids?

Look, the problem that man has is not because his wife left him, but rather because he wasn't proactive enough to figure out what he would do if his wife left him.

There is no reason why a man cannot raise his kids by himself when a woman can do so singlehandedly for years, and without any form of support.

I don't feel sorry for the man, and in his next world, he should learn that being a man isn't all about impregnating a woman, but also about learning the act of parenting.
Stewpid talk

9 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by mejai(m): 5:56am On Feb 14
grin
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Fountainofyouth(f): 7:14am On Feb 14
Painment everywhere, a man and woman is cheating, its only the woman cheating that is paining them, a woman left her kids for the husband to take care of, they are loosing their mind cos of it, it is painful when being served the usual vomit they dish out, yeah, deal with it.

44 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Vicyace: 7:28am On Feb 14
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

You would do same thing right?
Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Vicyace: 7:29am On Feb 14
haryomikun:

Stewpid talk

Yeah. Absolutely irritating comment.

3 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Uyi168(m): 7:39am On Feb 14
Arsenate:

From experience and observations. I refuse to swallow that bullshiiit "sweet mother I no go forget you ...bla bla bla"

Literally none of the ladies here empathize with those kids.
..
What about your personal experience with mum??

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by ikennamadu1(m): 8:02am On Feb 14
Fountainofyouth:



Was the husband blind of that fact when he was busy flaunting and spending on her to have her to himself? He didn't think of alternatives in case the one he had finishes?
You can type rubbish.... Shame no dey catch u

8 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by thorpido(m): 8:23am On Feb 14
Wetin una dey always gain with these gender wars?

Anyway,I guess the adrenaline effect is exciting for una.

5 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Acidosis(m): 8:55am On Feb 14
OcVoice:


Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!


You get time sha. Why are you begging/pleading?

You have to develop yourself enough to throw a party when someone walks out of your life. It's an avenue to expand your experience and grow.

There are no regrets in my book and, more importantly, I don't suffer heartbreaks. The signs are always there for you to watch and prepare! So before you make the attempt to leave, I am already gone (in my mind).

Also, men need to learn to set their rules. Society shouldn't always tell us what to do. Today is Val and the typical man is out there running helter skelter from one cinema to another restaurant all in the attempt to impress the woman with our society's meaning of love.

Men stup!dly do this out of fear of neglect and heartbreak. Like Sango or Obatala, they fear their gods (women) will abandon them if they fail to perform the yearly ritual. We have turned women into smaller gods we must appease to avoid wrath and calamity. Real gods/God (like mothers and our heavenly father) do not unleash terror because we fail to praise them. Think of those times you failed to praise God. Think of those times you failed to celebrate your mother on "Mother's day". Did your mother abandon you?

Men now act out of fear of abandonment and loneliness, and love of pleasure and other mundane things that can't stand the test of time or lack. Even if you love to spend or cherish your spouse's beautiful face more than your life, create a dummy scenario like these things don't matter to you sometimes.

55 Likes 15 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by SocialJustice: 9:03am On Feb 14
Lol, old gist. My first experience of this was way back in university, 2008. They didn't even mind I was there, maybe because I came to see their boss. It was like people in their teens talking who just started having sex. Jumping from one sex partner to the other but they were actually senior university officers in their 50s and 60s.

6 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by nahzyla: 9:08am On Feb 14
OcVoice:
Pls ladies, if you know you're not ready to suffer with your man when things gets tough for him, don't bother going into marriage! Don't even bother. A rich man today could be poor tomorrow. Life happens....it might not be his making! Life is not always Rosy!


Hahahaha
It's in this same Nairaland men were saying they don't owe women who suffered with them anything, and the post got so many likes.
Their justification was that they didn't force the woman to suffer with them, she chose to do it so they don't owe her gratitude or loyalty.
Another one said that men who become rich after suffering are free to leave their wives for better ones because the women didn't do anything to improve themselves.

I really hope women don't fall for all these 'you must suffer with your man scam'. Ladies, do it because you want to, and bear in mind you are likely to get ungratefulness back.

51 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Acidosis(m): 9:24am On Feb 14
nahzyla:



Hahahaha
It's in this same Nairaland men were saying they don't owe women who suffered with them anything, and the post got so many likes.
Their justification was that they didn't force the woman to suffer with them, she chose to do it so they don't owe her gratitude or loyalty.

Another one said that men who become rich after suffering are free to leave their wives for better ones because the women didn't do anything to improve themselves.

I really hope women don't fall for all these 'you must suffer with your man scam'. Ladies, do it because you want to, and bear in mind you are likely to get ungratefulness back.


Technically, a man do not owe you anything because you suffered with him. You're meant to enjoy/suffer with your man. You're (assuming you're an ideal virtuous woman) to take both sides in good faith. No one is born to suffer but when suffering comes as a result of what you did or didn't do, you take it in good faith.

I will personally dump any woman that tells me "I suffered with you" to make a point. If you don't suffer with me, who will? My ex?

I blame men for this negative perception about relationship/marriage. I will celebrate my wife, spoil her with gifts for many reasons but not "because she suffered with me". That's a stup!d reason.

19 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Fountainofyouth(f): 9:30am On Feb 14
ikennamadu1:

You can type rubbish.... Shame no dey catch u


Don't be stupid, apply wisdom where necessary.

14 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Luckysbab: 12:28pm On Feb 14
elektra:


I already said so myself. What else is new?
Why TF does the thought of raising your own kids trigger you people so much?

Why does the desire to abandon your kids excite you so much?

8 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by kitakoli(m): 1:47pm On Feb 14
elektra:
The only time cheating bothers men is when it is a woman doing it.
Look at this OP, he is not even the one being cheated on, but it worries him so much he had to open a thread about it.

The woman left the kids for her husband. Who should she have left them for? Are the kids not bearing the man’s name?
There are many women tired from raising kids by themselves, have you ever noticed anyone of them? The moment you see one man raising his kids you come to open thread.
You men should get used to raising your own bloody kids.

Stupidity.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by emmaodet: 2:08pm On Feb 14
Acidosis:


You get time sha. Why are you begging/pleading?

You have to develop yourself enough to throw a party when someone walks out of your life. It's an avenue to expand your experience and grow.

There are no regrets in my book and, more importantly, I don't suffer heartbreaks. The signs are always there for you to watch and prepare! So before you make the attempt to leave, I am already gone (in my mind).

Also, men need to learn to set their rules. Society shouldn't always tell us what to do. Today is Val and the typical man is out there running helter skelter from one cinema to another restaurant all in the attempt to impress the woman with our society's meaning of love.

Men stup!dly do this out of fear of neglect and heartbreak. Like Sango or Obatala, they fear their gods (women) will abandon them if they fail to perform the yearly ritual. We have turned women into smaller gods we must appease to avoid wrath and calamity. Real gods/God (like mothers and our heavenly father) do not unleash terror because we fail to praise them. Think of those times you failed to praise God. Think of those times you failed to celebrate your mother on "Mother's day". Did your mother abandon you?

Men now act out of fear of abandonment and loneliness, and love of pleasure and other mundane things that can't stand the test of time or lack. Even if you love to spend or cherish your spouse's beautiful face more than your life, create a dummy scenario like these things don't matter to you sometimes.

Hmmmmmmm
You are right sha.
The way guys advice other guys and beg women not to leave a relationship, it looks as if they are doing us a Favour by just dating or marrying us.
It is Capital NO.
If they are tired, they can take a walk.
Ti a ba gunyan ninu ewe, ti a se obe ninu epo epa, eni mayo mayo. - No matter the situation, those who will be contented will be and those who won't, will not

9 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by emmaodet: 2:16pm On Feb 14
bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.

Hmmmmmmmmmm
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Oro Asiri !!!!!!!!!

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by LadyJasper: 3:12pm On Feb 14
Another women bashing thread.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by thelish(f): 5:04pm On Feb 14
bigiyaro:
when you know that among all your family members, its only your wife that is not your relative, your guards will be up automatically and you are better equipped to deal with betrayals.

And our husbands are our only relative ooo
Whether una take us as strangers coming to invade ur home, we go still accept una as our ONLY relative.

9 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by sisisioge: 5:10pm On Feb 14
Chai! It is well...pls advise the guy to take the kids to his own mother or family members that can help lest they fall into wrong hands in the motel.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by bigiyaro(m): 6:09pm On Feb 14
thelish:


And our husbands are our only relative ooo
Whether una take us as strangers coming to invade ur home, we go still accept una as our ONLY relative.
LOL! na so.

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by blank(f): 9:14pm On Feb 14
OcVoice:


Raising children is the sole responsibility of both parents. Women are good at looking after and taking good care of children. That's why God made them as helps to men.
Par adventure she dies, the man can re-marry and allow another woman help him, so they can both take care of the children.


He should imagine that his wife is dead and marry again na. Mtshew.

Imagine the mindset. I thought they said the children will look for their father? They are here now. No looking for.

24 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by gerizzim: 9:39pm On Feb 14
Kaycee54321:
Second scenario is the reason why I will never marry if I don't have a certain level of cash flow and why I CAN NEVER marry a female who has nothing going on for herself... That crap about men taking care of a woman doesn't work on me

I earn, you earn, we care for each other, we raise a family together like a damn team...if e no work, na to kuku dey single... No be by force to born. Can't imagine bringing innocent babies to suffer.

true but today's ladies jst want to sit dwn,cross dia leg ND will leave everything to you to wrk it out all alone to make d marriage/relationship successful . Presenting themselves More like a spectator in d relationship.

4 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by yeyeosoronga: 11:06pm On Feb 14
OcVoice:


Raising children is the sole responsibility of both parents. Women are good at looking after and taking good care of children. That's why God made them as helps to men.
Par adventure she dies, the man can re-marry and allow another woman help him, so they can both take care of the children.

Marriage as I understand is for better, for worse. That he's facing challenges now doesn't mean it will end that way!

It is not right for a man to solely take care of his children. It is not also right for a woman. That's why a man and a woman need to take care of their children together, no matter the hardship that comes.

Can you abandon your kids with your husband because of hardship? Pls be factual.

The kids should be with either their mom or dad. In this case, they're with their dad.
She left them under a roof with their father, and she walked , but that was before they were thrown out.
It was better for those children to be with their dad when she left with her rich Alhaji ( according to the OP). Alhaji cannot adopt those children while their father is alive.
It's morally wrong to abandon your children and not look back.
The man should sue her for child support.
Every parent should be responsible towards their children.
It may be advisable for the man to take his children back to his village to live with his parents if he still has any. At least till he is able to get a roof over their heads . A bar is unsafe for any child

10 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by jess2019: 2:27am On Feb 15
Kaycee54321:


Thanks Dear. Udo.

I like men who think like this and in my next world I would like to marry one. My husband and I are professionals though he makes way more than me as I only work 2days and he works 7 days. He believes he should carry all the financial responsibilities. He doesn't ask for my money. I just keep mine and we use his for everything. But I do everything for the family including buying his clothes, shoes, in a nut shell I run our home 100%, he only helps but the reality is that I am choking up with stress because going to work is easier but running of the house with kids is so demanding and it's never a shift. It carries on.

If your wife is going to contribute equally financially, I hope you are also ready to equally share domestic chores? Some men will want to eat their cakes and still have it. Dont be doing 20% of house chores oo. Be ready to do it all.

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by bukatyne(f): 6:32am On Feb 15
Miarose:
Both genders have failed the society. The men are entitled to promiscuity but they don't sleep with themselves, do they, they sleep with women. Are these women imported from China?
When you fetch ant infested firewood into ur house, it will bite everyone including the children. They are the biggest casualties of this self entitled generation. Women today are more educated, more opinionated, more empowered... They will not stay and cower like our mothers. The men of today have no shame, they can't even open their mouth and speak against their flag bearer that die in hotels. Right now, anything we see, we take.

Until the average Nigerian man understands this, this is just the beginning.

Let them keep wailing instead of bracing up to raise morally upright men and teach them how to choose good women.

24 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Kaycee54321(m): 9:45am On Feb 15
jess2019:


I like men who think like this and in my next world I would like to marry one. My husband and I are professionals though he makes way more than me as I only work 2days and he works 7 days. He believes he should carry all the financial responsibilities. He doesn't ask for my money. I just keep mine and we use his for everything. But I do everything for the family including buying his clothes, shoes, in a nut shell I run our home 100%, he only helps but the reality is that I am choking up with stress because going to work is easier but running of the house with kids is so demanding and it's never a shift. It carries on.

If your wife is going to contribute equally financially, I hope you are also ready to equally share domestic chores? Some men will want to eat their cakes and still have it. Dont be doing 20% of house chores oo. Be ready to do it all.


Although I hate chores, I'm the kinda guy that'll do anything just so my woman doesn't over stress and start aging prematurely. I value family a lot and I'll do anything to have a stable home in the midst of all this madness. I don't see marriage as something that'll stop me from doing what I was already doing as a bachelor. Cooking and cleaning are necessary survival skills every human must have regardless of whether you have a penis or vagina.

Though, I hate cooking, I can always be there and help out here and there. Life is simple.

12 Likes

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by thelish(f): 4:24pm On Feb 15
bigiyaro:
LOL! na so.

Hahahahahaha
How e be u now??

1 Like

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Mobree: 7:56pm On Feb 15
Deandean:

I'm sorry but u are very stupid...very very stupid...if u had said these b4 me,i definitely would av hit ur mouth...

Wifebeater spotted... Better be careful who you "hit", so you don't find a knife in your neck in the middle of the night. Make you no reach heaven before you understand grin grin grin

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! by Mobree: 7:58pm On Feb 15
proclinician:


Stupid woman. I wonder the sins your unborn kids must have committed or will commit that will make God send them a punishment like you as their mother. Nonsense

Men should raise their bloody kids becauee it is not you that bore them for 9 months.

Seriously bro, was the insult necessary? We all are entitled to our opinions you know. It's not cool to try to force your own opinion down others' throat..

15 Likes

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