They must have a valid reason for them to oppose my relationship and intention to marry the lady in question, I'll definitely consider them cos they are my god and goddess on earth.

Who love help....family over everything!

i no understand na them wan marry the prsn for me or them go follow me come live with the prsn, you only advise me if i see reason good if i don't guy i go marry. just rest nah me they stay with the prsn no b you doh.

I beg leave that rubbish, u don't truly live the person joor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imcaon0AzeY

Am in that state of confusion presently,everyday I think Abt it,I dnt even know how to tell him that my parent refused him imagine how he will feel...I love this guy we both love ourselves,even already telling me he wants to meet my parent have just being using style to make things slow ALL WHAT I THINK IS WILL MY PARENT HELP ME LIVE WITH HIM? I THINK AM GOING WITH HIM NO MATTER WHAT MY PARENT SAYS OR I GET PREGNANT FOR HIM?MY HAPPINESS REALLY MATTERS OR WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OyinKris:
Am in that state of confusion presently,everyday I think Abt it,I dnt even know how to tell him that my parent refused him imagine how he will feel...I love this guy we both love ourselves,even already telling me he wants to meet my parent have just being using style to make things slow ALL WHAT I THINK IS WILL MY PARENT HELP ME LIVE WITH HIM? I THINK AM GOING WITH HIM NO MATTER WHAT MY PARENT SAYS OR I GET PREGNANT FOR HIM?MY HAPPINESS REALLY MATTERS OR WHAT DO YOU THINK?

My dear, the best thing you'll do is follow your happiness... You are matured enough to know if the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with is worth it. Their opinion is secondary, yours is primary... All their anger will suppress in due time, by the time they realize how serious you are with your decision... I've been in the same boat too, I don't regret following my happiness and peace of mind. Parents can be selfish and insensitive at times.
I wish you all the best.

chrizzyace:


My dear, the best thing you'll do is follow your happiness... You are matured enough to know if the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with is worth it. Their opinion is secondary, yours is primary... All their anger will suppress in due time, by the time they realize how serious you are with your decision... I've been in the same boat too, I don't regret following my happiness and peace of mind. Parents can be selfish and insensitive at times.
I wish you all the best.

Thank you so very much...

WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO WRECKED FOLLOWING THEIR OWN DECISION?

CAPSLOCKED:


WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO ARE WRECKED AFTER FOLLOWING THEIR PARENTS ADVICE?

MrBrownJay1:


... you forgot the most important question:
- are you gonna live your married life with your parents or you spouse?
- whats more important in such issue, whats best for YOU or whats best for your parents?
- why would your parent have a say in who you want to spend the rest of your life with?
- how old are you that you cant even choose your future wife by yourself?
- would you rather be happy in life while others are upset with your choices OR miserable in life while others are happy with your choices?

ABOVEDELAW:
WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO WRECKED FOLLOWING THEIR OWN DECISION?

At least they'll have themselves to be blamed.

Now I understand why the poster you quoted has been sounding mad! Many of guys are still babies.

Parent are still flesh and bone and many of them make their decisions based on sentiments. Our parents shouldn't be making important life decisions for us, they should rather guide us.

Many of us are living the life our parents want us to live and not the life we want for ourselves and trust me, many of these parents are so selfish and arrogant that they'll never admit they are wrong. It is up to us to stand our ground.

OUR ELDERLY ONES DON'T KNOW IT ALL!!!

I am currently going through the same right now. My parents says no. I'm not a happy man right now. Have spoken with her parents, she is still unable to speak with mine. Have prayed in several places and all they keep saying is,she will be a good mother to me and my unborn kids.

My parents reason: Her family was a former Muslim before converting to Christian.

Omar09:
I will listen to my parents especially my mom if she has a valid reason that has nothing to do with Tribalism.


My uncle when he wanted to get married brought home a woman who was very beautiful, but his mom refused saying she's a single mom with kids tho his mom was just seeing the woman for the first time. Long story short, my uncle went ahead with the marriage and today....! He is wrecked! By the same woman his mom warned him about. He's mom's late (rest her soul). Now my uncle just found out this year that his wife had five kids for the first husband.

Now tell me why I shouldn't listen to my parents?

Because your uncle lacked foresight doesn't mean every other person does. When choosing a wife, one must look beyond the physical and obvious attributes. Prayer is very key too.

Do you know that there are many people who went against their parent's wishes and are happy in their marriages.

One thing you should know is that parents are human beings who also have selfish interests. A close friend brought someone from another tribe home but the mum was trying to hook him up with her friend's daughter who was from their tribe.

The mum fought his choice but he stood his ground and married his "other tribe" babe. He even told his mum he would send her pictures from the wedding if she refused to attend (first son for that matter). They been married for over 5 years and his mum can see that her son is happy.

Don't fall for the scam that your parents choices are the best, except you don't have foresight or you are bad in making decisions. They can advise but the ultimate choice lies with you.

Dalby:
I did, years down the road it turned out to be a very big mistake...

U wrong, don't be surprised if u had accepted your parents decision u would still have issues and regrets. reason is, u will feel life would have been much more better if u had sticked to ur choice with every small challange u face with the one ur parents accepted.
It's good u make ur own mistakes. Its easier to learn from your mistakes than having someone to blame for your mistakes.
And if u can't make a good decision in marriage, it means ur parents failed in training or directing u from the very start.
For me, i know what my parents would accept, because they kept singing it from my childhood. i know what they might frown at. So before i even walk up to a girl, i already know what i want and what my parents might like.
But if after still trying to balance things 50/50 and they insist on something else, I'll ignore them. Because i trust my decision.
Truth is, its good to try balance things moat times, at least to put some smile on your parents face.
Example 1 for me.. I know my mum love hearing a girl is a virgin.. So before even showing her the girl, i start singing the girls praise to her(even if shes not one), before u know she done get interest for the girl.
Example 2, my mum don't like girls wearing trousers, so the day i brought my woman.. She wore a cute gown at least for some few period.
All this is to just create that first impression. When they have generated that love everything can now follow.
But some persons do not even understand what their parents like. They just bring anything (girl or man) home. Learn to package ur products well and never forget to sing their praise for months before even presenting them to parents.

What i observed is, parents only control or make choices for children who can't..if your parents know u to be a person that sticks to your decisions they won't dare tell u who to marry, because they know From previous experience that the matter is dead on arrival.

skfa1:
I am currently going through the same right now. My parents says no. I'm not a happy man right now. Have spoken with her parents, she is still unable to speak with mine. Have prayed in several places and all they keep saying is,she will be a good mother to me and my unborn kids.


My parents reason: Her family was a former Muslim before converting to Christian.

Just look at...?!

Karleb:


At least they'll have themselves to be blamed.

Now I understand why the poster you quoted has been sounding mad! Many of guys are still babies.

Parent are still flesh and bone and many of them make their decisions based on sentiments. Our parents shouldn't be making important life decisions for us, they should rather guide us.

Many of us are living the life our parents want us to live and not the life we want for ourselves and trust me, many of these parents are so selfish and arrogant that they'll never admit they are wrong. It is up to us to stand our ground.

OUR ELDERLY ONES DON'T KNOW IT ALL!!!

Why is the bolded hard to believe?? Parents are humans...with human feelings and emotions. They can be manipulative especially with their children. Only the wise and mature children can see through their antics.

My dad for instance only told we the girls not to marry from a particular state because he went for his friend's burial and saw what the wife went through. He told us his reasons.

Some parents will just say No and say nothing. A child that doesn't make them understand that it's his/her decision to make will just be turned around like a puppet in their parent's hands.

skfa1:
I am currently going through the same right now. My parents says no. I'm not a happy man right now. Have spoken with her parents, she is still unable to speak with mine. Have prayed in several places and all they keep saying is,she will be a good mother to me and my unborn kids.

My parents reason: Her family was a former Muslim before converting to Christian.

Stand your ground and not shake as long as you are convinced. They will come on board. Parents have caused too much problems with their kids based on their own level of understanding and exposure.

OyinKris:
Am in that state of confusion presently,everyday I think Abt it,I dnt even know how to tell him that my parent refused him imagine how he will feel...I love this guy we both love ourselves,even already telling me he wants to meet my parent have just being using style to make things slow ALL WHAT I THINK IS WILL MY PARENT HELP ME LIVE WITH HIM? I THINK AM GOING WITH HIM NO MATTER WHAT MY PARENT SAYS OR I GET PREGNANT FOR HIM?MY HAPPINESS REALLY ;DMATTERS OR WHAT DO YOU THINK?

. Think am well,,na so one of my niece go marry against family wish,e no reach one year hubby begin beat later send am packing wit em pikin,,,family take am back constantly reminding her "we warned u"

darlenese:
As a woman I married against my mother's wish , she wanted someone rich and well to do, I brought a man with a 5 digit salary ,
The first time she saw him, he was a penniless corper the moment she saw him she said I should end whatever I have with him that she doesn't like him, I ignored her and brought him again a year later after he got a bank job (with small salary )
long story short , We got married amidst many gossip about the bad choice of man I married , every one thought I would suffer ,my siblings visits me with food in their bags, cos they felt I cant afford to give them meals from my pot, it was that bad.
I'm thankful to God for Today , I made the right choice, my mum was just being greedy , she claimed her blood did not rhyme with him, holy crap, just because he wasn't rich.


Today we are proud owners of properties , businesses , our kids attend good schools, I won't say we are rich , but we are very comfortable .
I wish my mum and dad were still alive .


please it's not all the time an elder sees the top of an iroko tree clearly while sitting down abeg
, sometimes greed can make them see otherwise

even as elders wear eyeglass them no go see iroko tree clearly

drmikeadams:
even as elders wear eyeglass them no go see iroko tree clearly

I'm telling u

drmikeadams:
. Think am well,,na so one of my niece go marry against family wish,e no reach one year hubby begin beat later send am packing wit em pikin,,,family take am back constantly reminding her "we warned u"

You can see from darlenese story that parents are not always right. We have to be able to see ahead before marrying.

Some people like your niece, ignore the red flags and still dive probably because of some goodies they see. But it is unable to keep a marriage.

Lovelyn451:
abeg o, I take God beg you marry Igbo, if it means traveling down to the village in December to attract an Igbo dude, biko do it and keep praying to God about it too

tribalism will kee u las las just imagine advice same reason the east is too homogenous yet you can live in other parts of nigeria freely but cant marry dem you for tell chioma not to marry davido yeye dey smell

StrikeBack:
See them with their nonsense underbearing attitude

Later you'll start complaining of Racism

bros imagine big fools same reason a ph gurl complained guys from the east wats so special marrying from ur tribe its not like ders anyfin special about dem sef. They are even the reason why oyinbos no wan date africans for germany dem don too mess up. Plenty half cast with easter fathers full germany especially munich. I wish naija can split make we all go our separate ways.

Lovelyn451:
I will never support Yoruba-Igbo marriage, Yoruba don't value family like the Igbo's.abeg abeg, you guys should keep marrying ur women biko

u nor well at all but when issues of money show u can kill each other. May u not be destroyed

djon78:



The main thing is that not everyone is open to inter tribal marriages that's why many parents are against it.
Sometimes it carries so much risk and wahala.
Many will claim in this modern age that culture doesn't matter, but of course culture does matter. Especially

Moreover most of the thing we call love is very fleeting, it doesn't last. So one has to be careful.

As for Davido/peter relationships, igbo men rarely marry that far. And families will kick against it. Unlike women may be allowed. But for guys it's very rare. Except an igbo man Who grew up outside his culture. But those ones that grew within there culture it's rare because the two cultures are way apart.

does dat make sense to you yet you complain of racism inside life!

djon78:



Sometimes one can't go against the parents wishes. It happened to my sister. A lawyer guy was coming for her, she was crazy in love but my dad no one use ear hear am. My sister na medical doctor.
The guy tried but no way. My sister finally cut off from the guy. I thought she will go crazy.

Finally she married a guy my dad fully accepted. And she is having a good marriage with this present guy. In fact the guy has been supporting and encouraging her to reach her highest dream and ambition which not all men will do.

Parents do have a great say because what we modern people call love is very fickle, doesn't last. It takes more than love to make marriage work. So parents understand these things.

scam the ones the parents advised dat went in shambles u no fit think for urself justfying nonsense

Ohraykon:
scam the ones the parents advised dat went in shambles u no fit think for urself justfying nonsense

At least it worked for her. The person she married was exactly perfect for her.
The times of our parents and now, marriages was better off then than now.
People do love but not many can sustain marriage because love is not enough to keep a successful marriage. But this generation don't understand that one.
That's why divorce full everywhere because people focus on things that don't last.


So I go with listening to our elders. They have seen more of life than this present crooked generation.

CAPSLOCKED:

IT'S NOT GOOD FOR THEM. IT'S SHAMEFUL AND SUCH PEOPLE ARE CALAMITIES.
THEY ALREADY CHOSE YOUR NAME, RELIGION, TRIBE AND SCHOOLS FOR YOU. MAYBE EVEN YOUR CAREER. NOW YOU'LL LET THEM CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER FOR YOU. AND WHAT MORE, YOU'LL LET THEM CHOOSE WHEN YOU FÙCK THEM?


OUR ELDERS ARE NOT THE UNTOUCHABLE ANGELS WE HAVE MADE THEM TO BE IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD, AND SOMETIMES, THEY DISH OUT THE MOST EVIL UNDER THE GUISE OF LOVE. WE'RE IN THIS MESS IN NIGERIA TODAY BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE BEFORE US. EVERYTHING FROM POLITICS, TERRORISM, NEPOTISM, WITCHCRAFT, THUGGERY AND MORE DAMAGING VICES WERE CREATED BY THIS PEOPLE, AND I HATE TO SEE US MODERN PEOPLE NOT CHANGING THEIR WAYS BUT DECIDING TO WALK IN THEIR PATH AND EVEN SEEK AND TAKE SOME OF THEIR ILLITERATE COUNCIL BEFORE MAKING DECISIONS THAT WILL AFFECT OUR OWN LIVES.

LMAO
I rest my case

Ohraykon:
tribalism will kee u las las just imagine advice same reason the east is too homogenous yet you can live in other parts of nigeria freely but cant marry dem you for tell chioma not to marry davido yeye dey smell

so asking an Igbo girl to marry her tribe is tribalism eh kwa? Don't u have women in ur tribe? must u marry an Igbo woman? An Igbo girl can marry from every tribe in Nigeria including a christian Hausa sef, but Yoruba? I'm totally against it!! In totality!!! God forbid!!!

Ohraykon:
u nor well at all but when issues of money show u can kill each other. May u not be destroyed

it is you that will be destroyed...shebi its Yoruba that dont kill for money, dirty ritualist, yahoo boy

9gerian:
The bolded assertion below is untrue and very debatable, especially when you consider that a good number of Igbos cultivate and support baby factory business as though normal in their culture.

What about the role of inheritance by Igbo women?

Also, what of a woman’s treatment at the demise of the Igbo husband?

This doesn’t mean there are no positive attributes that can be observed of Igbos and their tradition. It just simply means that every tribe / people have their own way of showing value and protection for their families, hence every tribe has its pros and cons, and we should all strive to imbibe the right qualities regardless of tribe.

Finally, what’s your opinion about Davido and Chioma’s marriage? Can we also juxtapose that with your opinion about Peter Okoye and Lola’s marriage? I’m almost certain that your opinions about these 2 marriages would conflict.

Therefore, let’s be guided when we make blanket statements about a whole tribe, because the same measure that you use would be returned to you; even worse!

hear say, everything u typed is based on hear say, u know nothing about my culture So hush!! What if I say ritual killing is a Yoruba culture thats if it is not cos an average Yoruba guy is into yahoo and has killed his girlfriend for ritual?

i hate typing, wish I can enlighten you face to face on Igbo culture and traditions

Yoruba's are not committed to anything, their attitude to religion is no 1 proof,, their lack of commitment is also seen in family, thats why they have the highest rate of divorce in Nigeria

Shebi peter married Lola, thats how we respect the institution of marriage and family, what has davido done on chioma, rather than get her pregnant?

See eh, Yoruba is rubbish when it comes to family, every other tribe is far far better.

In Igbo society, the father is the highest authority and family is the highest institution..we regard the fathers even more than our leaders sef and over the years that tradition has been maintained

Lovelyn451:
so asking an Igbo girl to marry her tribe is tribalism eh kwa? Don't u have women in ur tribe? must u marry an Igbo woman? An Igbo girl can marry from every tribe in Nigeria including a christian Hausa sef, but Yoruba? I'm totally against it!! In totality!!! God forbid!!! it is you that will be destroyed...shebi its Yoruba that dont kill for money, dirty ritualist, yahoo boy

what about a Hausa Muslim. you know . . . . they're real quality husband materials

gentleibraheem:


what about a Hausa Muslim. you know . . . . they're real quality husband materials

marry someone you share same religious belief with...thank you