olasaad:


I am married. My own problem is infidelity. I can cope with any other problem God forbid shaa.

Please God Forbid you will never see financial problems in marriage.

For me it will be the constant invasion of privacy.


It's sad but I have to forgo it, if it's the only way I can stay married.

bigpicture001:
Financial compatibility....

This does not mean being rich by the guy,instead it means being able to share na be of help financially in marriage..,.

Women are non not to be supportive in this aspect nd that see it as their right....

This is a silent home breaker especially for the middle income spouses.


A guy I know divorced his wife straight after sh delivered of their first child... He saved for the D-

This is a big p,no one talks abt

happening in many homes. One of my mama tenant used to gist me then. He lost his job at ports madam wey he opened shop for refused to help with rent. Could not pay my mum for long. Any lady that is not free with her money to take care of joint bills . Sorry i cant marry

I will comment when you remove Tonto Dike's pic from thread.

Kabaka100:


People think that only a business requires financial plan. A marriage also requires a strict financial plan to make the marriage work successfully like having a joint account, investmentvacciunt, emergency account. All these account has to have an agreed monthly contribution and withdrawal limit per spouse.

This post was making sense until the joint account part

I also think the perception of marriage matters, in that some people are looking for someone to rescue them financially, so when their expectations are not met, that marriage is hard already. It's important we know our common values, marry who is compatible with you.

bigpicture001:
Financial compatibility....

This does not mean being rich by the guy,instead it means being able to share na be of help financially in marriage..,.

Women are non not to be supportive in this aspect nd that see it as their right....

This is a silent home breaker especially for the middle income spouses.


A guy I know divorced his wife straight after sh delivered of their first child... He saved for the D- day..but still fell short of 95k cuz there was complication of deliverering that no one expected.....

While he run from pillar to post to his friends seeking a soft loan pending wen he is paid..the wife still held at the hospital sent her younger sis,who stays with them to secretly go to the house go nd to her matrimonial room nd collect the 65k sh kept in her bag b4 d hubby mistakenly sees it

Unfortunately for her the hubby went home nd met his teenage in law with 65k cash....sh TLD him her elder sis instruction....


He was shocked...nd told the gal to go ahead nd deposit d money to d wife's bank as sh was instructed by her. He continued his nuzzle nd two days later he got them out of the hospital paying 126k additional from the first delivery cost...

Sh came back home nd can't look him in the eyes...quarell after quarelk ensued DT led to divorce exactly one month later....

Gals of this days are too stingy nd mny of them take d Character into marriages.....never ever Marry a lady DT will not b supportive..as a guy,u can't solve all them financial problems in marriage...

This is a big p,no one talks abt

Person wey get sense go press Ctrl + S for him brain after reading this.

It's when your wife is servicing her boss,and you know that if you complain,there will be no food on the table and the children will be sent home from school

Finance happens to be very important

Sexing the same babe for the rest of your life

When the love fades how to sustain it and not give up on each other.

Jaubdu:
For me I feel staying in love is so much more difficult than falling in love....Every reasonable opinions counts.

for me, marriage is growing together in all areas of life, learning how to accommodate and adapt to the changes your partner will experience as they grow is key

Also, sharing a bed with someone.

Also, attraction fades, So when a man is tired of one woman or a woman is tired of one man

Hey mind you Marriage isn't an achievement .

Just make plenty of money and watch how God will put everything in order just for your sake.

Lamanii22:
Staying faithful.... I respect my mom on that part... She's so faithful to my dad, truss me some other women would have left since or cheated.. I wanna be like her...

How do you know she might not have cheated, do you follow her everywhere or if she does ,would she sit u down & tell you?


Just kidding, there are few faithful women perhaps ur mum is one of them just like mine...

The hardest part is trying to blend with each other, it's not that always easy.

bigpicture001:
Financial compatibility....

This does not mean being rich by the guy,instead it means being able to share na be of help financially in marriage..,.

Women are non not to be supportive in this aspect nd that see it as their right....

This is a silent home breaker especially for the middle income spouses.


A guy I know divorced his wife straight after sh delivered of their first child... He saved for the D- day..but still fell short of 95k cuz there was complication of deliverering that no one expected.....

While he run from pillar to post to his friends seeking a soft loan pending wen he is paid..the wife still held at the hospital sent her younger sis,who stays with them to secretly go to the house go nd to her matrimonial room nd collect the 65k sh kept in her bag b4 d hubby mistakenly sees it

Unfortunately for her the hubby went home nd met his teenage in law with 65k cash....sh TLD him her elder sis instruction....


He was shocked...nd told the gal to go ahead nd deposit d money to d wife's bank as sh was instructed by her. He continued his nuzzle nd two days later he got them out of the hospital paying 126k additional from the first delivery cost...

Sh came back home nd can't look him in the eyes...quarell after quarelk ensued DT led to divorce exactly one month later....

Gals of this days are too stingy nd mny of them take d Character into marriages.....never ever Marry a lady DT will not b supportive..as a guy,u can't solve all them financial problems in marriage...

This is a big p,no one talks abt

So sad. Any woman that cant assist her man, is not worthy to be married to him.

SassyGem101:
Well...I'm not married but I'll say...the hardest part is having to wake up everyday of your life to the same face which tends to become boring. Now no matter the initial butterflies in your belly thing, you'll get bored at some point and the only thing that can keep you going is your commitment to be with them and the fear of God. If you lack this two virtues, there's going to be a big problem especially if you are the type that likes meeting new people.


Another part it gets hard is where the niti gritty of marriage hits you. Like taking care of the responsibiity of the home especially the financial aspect. In fact before you know it, you'll wear out to the point you won't even remember how you guys started. This is not to scare you but its a fact I've seen in many homes that has made me begin to plan my marriage life in a way I won't have to be totally caught up in that hard part. Hmm....let me just stop here.

Please on a more serious note, if you must marry, prepare your mind to face these things otherwise you'll freak out before it even begins. Or stay away from it.
I have seen a lot of marriages and I wonder what happened to the initial " I love yous" and all that. Though still learning.


Dem say, nor be eye wen person take do girlfriend and boyfriend na him dem dey take do marriage ooo.

Now we know who they are. No wonder

the hardest part for me is that is having to yield to the other persons point of view...for instance when i want to tidy my wify will like "i'm not in the mood, or i'm ill etc i have to calm down on my urge, for decisions affecting the home i have to consult her...and again the kids disturb a lot and keep my bp up because after traffic i will still come home and shout...men e no easy!

For me, what is most important is having a good family, although we may have other needs, a good family is first priority, I may sound old school, its difficult when we have a lot of pressure, sometimes financial, sexual, and perhaps attitudinal or way of thinking, Some women have razor tongues, some men are fast to anger.

bigpicture001:
Financial compatibility....

This does not mean being rich by the guy,instead it means being able to share na be of help financially in marriage..,.

Women are non not to be supportive in this aspect nd that see it as their right....

This is a silent home breaker especially for the middle income spouses.


A guy I know divorced his wife straight after sh delivered of their first child... He saved for the D- day..but still fell short of 95k cuz there was complication of deliverering that no one expected.....

While he run from pillar to post to his friends seeking a soft loan pending wen he is paid..the wife still held at the hospital sent her younger sis,who stays with them to secretly go to the house go nd to her matrimonial room nd collect the 65k sh kept in her bag b4 d hubby mistakenly sees it

Unfortunately for her the hubby went home nd met his teenage in law with 65k cash....sh TLD him her elder sis instruction....


He was shocked...nd told the gal to go ahead nd deposit d money to d wife's bank as sh was instructed by her. He continued his nuzzle nd two days later he got them out of the hospital paying 126k additional from the first delivery cost...

Sh came back home nd can't look him in the eyes...quarell after quarelk ensued DT led to divorce exactly one month later....

Gals of this days are too stingy nd mny of them take d Character into marriages.....never ever Marry a lady DT will not b supportive..as a guy,u can't solve all them financial problems in marriage...

This is a big p,no one talks abt

that woman is not only stingy but she's also wicked.shes was and will still be wicked to herself,her children and people around

Lamanii22:
Staying faithful.... I respect my mom on that part... She's so faithful to my dad, truss me some other women would have left since or cheated.. I wanna be like her...

A true queen - your mother.

SassyGem101:
Well...I'm not married but I'll say...the hardest part is having to wake up everyday of your life to the same face which tends to become boring. Now no matter the initial butterflies in your belly thing, you'll get bored at some point and the only thing that can keep you going is your commitment to be with them and the fear of God. If you lack this two virtues, there's going to be a big problem especially if you are the type that likes meeting new people.


Another part it gets hard is where the niti gritty of marriage hits you. Like taking care of the responsibiity of the home especially the financial aspect. In fact before you know it, you'll wear out to the point you won't even remember how you guys started. This is not to scare you but its a fact I've seen in many homes that has made me begin to plan my marriage life in a way I won't have to be totally caught up in that hard part. Hmm....let me just stop here.

Please on a more serious note, if you must marry, prepare your mind to face these things otherwise you'll freak out before it even begins. Or stay away from it.
I have seen a lot of marriages and I wonder what happened to the initial " I love yous" and all that. Though still learning.


Dem say, nor be eye wen person take do girlfriend and boyfriend na him dem dey take do marriage ooo.

.....nice one...i guess that is why i and my wife stay in different rooms...at least she go de look fresh to me in the morning hahahahaha

It is easy to say though but sometimes the narratives in our head is different from reality.

I don't want to ever be in that position where i would have to walk away

Nah

Fountainofyouth:



When push comes to shove, the way I'll walk majestically away will shock people, so fret not my dear, don't allow people's experience or narrative scare you, it is very easy.

Some years down the line you reflect on things and wonder how you could have been so fooled?
How did he/she manage to keep this/that from my knowledge?
How come I never read the sign properly?
You begin to feel and tell yourself that you made a terrible mistake getting into the married
Then you begin to consider the best way out
In some cases son begin to wish that the partner would just drop dead or something

At this phase, the love, sparks, butterflies etc are no more but one of the strong things that can one going is a realization and a determination to make the union what you would wish it to be.

Prolonged love in marriage is more of a function of determination than that of feelings!

[s]

FrLukas:


A true queen - your mother.

[/s]

pinkhill:
It is easy to say though but sometimes the narratives in our head is different from reality.

I don't want to ever be in that position where i would have to walk away

Nah

That is why I said when push comes shove but okay.

I have watched documentaries on primitive tribes in the world and I observed one where the man and the woman always loved their company and were always satisfied with the little they had, the scientist always found them hugging each other, I think was concerning the Jarawa tribe in India

SassyGem101:


Are you any better? Is funmisticqueen any better herself? Seeing how you both go about talking recklessly on this forum, you both are no different.

Its obvious the gentle man is already tired and the mere thoughts of marriage with her is giving him the chills cos hes probably seen some red flags that the lady may not have what it takes to keep a man longer in marriage hence the question. And what he needs now is sincere advice and contributions before he makes the mistake of his life.
From what I've read here, that lady is toxic! Jokes apart. Forget the initial niceties. When ladies need something, they act all nice especially if they see their mates getting married and they are being left behind. But once in, they reveal their true self.

I think the guy has started noticing some red flags. Whirlwind love can be extremely deceitful.

Godsfavour78:
Please God Forbid you will never see financial problems in marriage.

Big Amen to that