God please take charge of Nigerian medical training, what I'm seeing on nairaland does not look good.

Although of course liars are plenty, but to even think you could say you are in the profession yet spew what you do here, is worrisome.

You'd still know samspedy is intelligent, notwithstanding his comedic routines.

Mariangeles:


Insecurities? About what? Her jealousy?
Rival? With who? Her sister in-law?
Your comment says a lot about your person.

And who the bleep are you? You are so slow and definitely sick in your head
Go and carry op's wife by yourself abroad.
A full grown adult says she doesn't want to squat,and you want to compulsorily force her? Shows how toxic and inhumane you are

Don't bother to reply cos I will pass
She even mentioned me twice., Mtchew cry me a river

funmisticqueen2:
Many doctors cannot afford to pay their children's school fees. Do you know that? Or buy land.

For the fact that we studied so hard, for so long and put in more hours, we really should be compensated more for what we do, or at least given proper welfare. That's not the case.


It's harder on men than it is on us. And for you to say what you did. Maybe you are out of practice, married to a wealthy man, or not a provider for your family. So please emphathise with him and move on.

I only say it that the main thing trapping doctors in Nigeria is family responsibilities.

I am not a very good arguer, however let me try
We are underpaid and deserve better compensation, I agree. However this does not translate to being under intense pressure to acquire stuff. Do you not see this? With a pay of say xxxy, why must I feel pressed to send my dependents to a school that is known for giving “oyibosori” education to politicians and higher paid executives on xxxxyy salaries? Cos that’s just either greed, vanity or something else I don’t know. There is a school for every salary cadre.

About land? Well it is what it is, but we are very eligible for loans and can thus get lands. Not ideal, but better than what most people can see
There is also the option of not owning land ( )
All not ideal, I agree, but we make lemonade
My convoluted point was an encouraging one to doctors, to not allow our selves be pressed into living by any standard that is not ours, while living in this place. I have never been like that, and I never will. So it is a pet peeve when I see people living for sosayiti. I do empathise all right.
@ your bolded, okay

Cheers/ take care

[s]

rain21:



And who the bleep are you? You are so slow and definitely sick in your head
Go and carry op's wife by yourself abroad.
A full grown adult says she doesn't want to squat,and you want to compulsorily force her? Shows how toxic and inhumane you are

Don't bother to reply cos I will pass
She even mentioned me twice., Mtchew cry me a river

[/s]

I'll assume that you lost your damn mind when you were dropped head down as a baby.
Toxin personified!

So far,the comments here have been things the Op could comfortably do,steps he should take,criticisms of different kinds and ofcourse,loads of sophisticated insults being hurled at one another.


PS:people sabi use big grammar insult sha

crackkhaus:

Sincerely, she really deserves the kisses!(but keep off, crackhaus!
@ merhaki, why do I have this feeling that I know you outside nairaland? Chi.....
If you're the one, you're one hell of humility, kind-hearted and intelligent personified!
@ op, listen to merhaki, doctors have nothing to prove to anyone by conforming to the societal's ideal lifestyle for a doctor. Live your dreams but consider your partner too.

I myself, wouldn't want to squat with anyone who was once my enemy. You can travel first, clear the coast for your immediate family before bringing them to the UK.

loshybab:



PS:people sabi use big grammar insult sha

As in ehhhh, nawaooo..

Chiebunigom1:

Sincerely, she really deserves the kisses!(but keep off, crackhaus!
@ merhaki, why do I have this feeling that I know you outside nairaland? Chi.....
If you're the one, you're one hell of humility, kind-hearted and intelligent personified!
@ op, listen to merhaki, doctors have nothing to prove to anyone by conforming to the societal's ideal lifestyle for a doctor. Live your dreams but consider your partner too.

I myself, wouldn't want to squat with anyone who was once my enemy. You can travel first, clear the coast for your immediate family before bringing them to the UK.

Too late for me to keep off, sorry...

That's mon-cat right there, and she has been so for quite a while waaaayy before now.
I've always had a gift for picking out the sensible ones here.

Chiebunigom1:


As in ehhhh, nawaooo..

I just dey dey observe and learn

My advise? Move solo, stabilize and come for her. Issues solved. Next!

nlPoster:


It seems Nigerians have not gotten the memo yet, emigration is not encouraged right now.

Stop considering it your right to move to other peoples' countries especially at this time.

Are you folks not following the news? Why place more stress on countries who are trying to cope with what's going on?

Every day, I'm moving here I'm moving there, like you own everywhere in addition to Nigeria?

What does it take to get things to sink in?

Quit these stupid threads which are mostly fake anyway. Joblessness.

Op is even claiming "as a doctor I can get my own place but I dont have to". So they welcome you with your professional job as soon as you land right?

Another annoying thing, this person claims he is working yet still complaining my wife is against my progress blah blah, so people without jobs or prospects what are they supposed to do?

Word for word, I could not have said it better. Oyinbo ku suru. Oyinbo wey no dey vex normally, wey dey street, they are thoroughly sick of black immigrants.

@ Op : Have you ever heard of the red pill. You need a few doses.

Brother... As a man, I believe your priority should always be in this order. God - Grind/Hustle - Woman.

A woman was made to be a helpmate if she ain't doing that. I move nonetheless.

Dont be suprised na this same woman go begin give you attitude if things no plum. So watch out for yourself first. Opportunities dont wait forever.

Kuns84:
I'm a medical doctor by profession and completed my residency over a year ago. However, I'm currently frustrated with the state of things in this country. I work endlessly, shuffling between a public hospital here in Lagos as well as also doing some consulting on the side in a private hospital – all to make ends meet.

Many of my fellow medical practitioners have relocated abroad and are all doing tremendously well for themselves earning fat salaries. My friends have tirelessly encouraged me to also make that move but for the past 3 years now, I’ve be peddling a lie that I’m 'comfortable' here in Nigeria. What many don’t know is that MY WIFE is the main reason why I’ve not been able to even attempt the exams not to talk of passing and eventually relocating.

Her reasons?

I have an elder brother who currently lives in the UK – he’s an engineer doing incredibly well for himself. He is married to a fellow Nigerian who is a naturalised citizen abroad but here’s the problem, my wife cannot stand the thought of moving to the UK because of an ongoing issue with my brother’s wife. I can’t go into much detail lest I digress, but my wife has always had this inferiority complex that my sister in-law will look down on her because she was raised abroad and comes from a wealthy home. These two have never gotten along from the very beginning and things have deteriorated to the point that this has affected my relationship with my bro. I personally like my brother’s wife, she’s an intelligent and down to earth lady and we got along so well until I met and married my wife. My brother and I have both tried to get our wives to reconcile but to no avail and now that I could potentially move abroad, this matter has been a major stumbling block affecting my ability to forge ahead in life.

Every time I try to talk sense into my wife, she flares up and refuses to admit the truth, rather she’d claim that her reasons for not wanting to move abroad is because “the grass isn’t greener on the other side”, “people are suffering abroad”, “she’s comfortable with her job here in Nigeria” etc.. but deep down we both know that she doesn’t want to give my sister-in law the satisfaction of seeing us move to the UK for a better life – coupled with the fact that we might have to squat with them for a while before finding my feet.

I am depressed but do a fantastic job at hiding it but the truth is, It breaks my heart every time yet another colleague of mine relocates abroad with his family and then tells me of how conformable life is over there and how much doctors are being paid – it’s not that I’m jealous, I genuinely feel happy for my guys, but just can’t help but feel stuck and unfulfilled with how things are going in my career and personal life.

So you allowed your self to be brain washed and manipulated by a woman, am not surprise

Once something is not to a woman favour, she doesn't allow it to work out

Now to your Complain, if you keep seeking approval from your wife before you will make plans to relocate, then you are not a man but a push over

You already know thst your wife has low self esteem and she is intimidated by your sister in law, that shows you how low she is

Pls go ahead and make pals to relocate, besides you ought to get there first, get settled before bringing her over there and if you get there and get settled she doesn't want to be with you, then that's a good way if dropping her and picking someone who is ready to unite your family

Another important thing, pls renew your relationship with your brother and his wife especially

Trust her, if you don't reconcile with your sister in law, she will make you uncomfortable in her house for the period you will squart with them

Don't make your wife a topic of discussion where they are, you will expose her timidity the more

Start making move and once you ate set to leave, you inform her but that will be after your have bought your ticked and about 24hrs to leave the country

By then it will be too late to react, if she wants to cry let her cry tears doesn't kill

Keep relationship with your brother and his wife a good level because if tomorrow

If your wife wants let her join the relationship ban and if she doesn't want let her be left alone

But if you chose to keep pretending that you are OK before your friends who will be willing to help you, it will get to a stage they will drop you and help others by then even your wife will make living hell for you at home

As a medical personnel, you know what depression means

Doctors are one group of people who do well for themselves outside this country. I find it sad that your wife is preventing you from achieving the success you are capable of, all because of some petty jealousy she harbours for her sister in law. All you can really do is try to make her understand that the move is for the general good of the family. Be assertive.

Again, you mentioned her job. That may be a valid reason for not wanting to move. If her career here in Nigeria has fairly advanced she may resent having to start from scratch in the UK.

I think you should make plans to move to the UK. Get there and get settled, find a place of your own and then send for your wife in a year or two. Best of luck.

There is no issue here your wife cannot stop you from moving. you can travel and leave her behind if your wife's ego allows her she will join you whenever she is ready, it's greener over there abeg..

proclinician:


Yes he should make money, enough money. Pls isn't the worthless woman a human being? Is she handicapped? Doesn't she have brains except this relaxer gel made from alkali or ammonium thioglycolate which is a salt of the neutralisation reaction of a weak acid and a weak base kills the brain cells making most women daft and useless. Didn't she go to school? Why should it be the man's business to make a lot of money and then bundle a useless log of wood to the U.K?

Oga op self how did u end up with such a woman. She is zero goal oriented and with no ambitions. Marco polo is an adventurer and had to travel far and wide because of his Ambitions. This woman is not ready to test new waters she has no drive, no goals, no zeal, nothing. She's empty.

I am doing my residency too and not yet married but I am very careful about the woman I want to get married to. I have a long way to go and most times they just think once a doc is done with nysc he's set but not always true.

This woman is delaying your destiny juat like eve destroyed Adam's destiny but the mistake Adam made was that he didn't have the video.

calling someone else wife worthless shows you lack sense.

Mizwisdom:
I hope that one day government will increase the fee to acquire a medical degree here for people who intend migrating abroad but maintain same fee as it is now for those who chose to serve here in Nigeria, you can't earn a cheap qualification here then migrate to earn fat salaries abroad, my take.

u are just grossly wicked, and what do u stand to gain out of this? Or are the recipient of our medical personnel over there complaining? We thank God you are not the government

funmisticqueen2:
aunty, if you don't understand, then don't talk. Thank you.

in ur quest to being smart you ended up being silly... that guy corrected the ill in that post an raised a saliant point.... Not all medical doctors are moved by material/mundane things (my friend is one)... Those big eyes in your big head were there for a purpose...make use of it.. Dimwits

merahki:



I am a doctor dear niece, and thanks for your politeness
Have been for a long while now too. Okay, that’s settled, back to your reply:
Nobody is pressed to drive the latest cars or live in the best apartments solely because they are doctors
It is personal make up and or vanity which makes an individual to allow themselves to be pressured (by who now? ) into buying material things, and not profession associated pressure
Nobody has ever come up to me to ask “why do you drive a 404 and not a Benz, doctor like you! Or why are you wearing flip flops or your hair like that you dauta of Hippocrates”?
You need to start trying to understand others instead of always airing views (anyway with time, you will. Give it evening to night newspaper time
Cheers

thanks for scholling that idiot

LilMissFavvy:
Is this write-up about me? Respect yourself, and stop personalizing my comments. My personal life should be none of your business.

Shut up joor..
Na poo full ur head

LegendaryLover:
leave her in nigeria. Travel abroad. Work 3 times harder. Make chedders. Get a good place. "no struggling for her, no living at bro's place or wife for her". So send for her. Problem solved?

Seconded.

Work with your brothers help to get abroad.

Go first, work hard, get settled in your own place and then send for her and kids (if any) 6 months after.

ezugegere:
Must it be UK? Why can't you think of another country except UK?

UK is easier

Benjamin Franklin famously said that house guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. I am absolutely inclined to agree with him.
OP, perish the idea of you and your wife staying with your brother in the U.K. especially since your brothers wife and your wife already do not get along. Your wife has told you in not so many words that she is uncomfortable about doing so. Let sleeping dogs lie and find another solution. Your initial years as a young doc in the U.K. will be stressful enough talk less of adding home wahala. You can't leave your wife alone all day long in a "hostile environment" and expect things to work out fine. You will not like what this seemingly small issue can potentially become. Many people have said for you to go and get established first then she can join you. Have this discussion with your wife and let her know you understand her apprehension for staying at your brothers house and that this is an alternative. Does she know you are dissatisfied and/or frustrated with your current situation? Tell her and explain to her why you want to relocate.
It seems you haven't been married for long and could benefit from some marriage conflict resolution counseling. One piece of advice I can give you is to learn to pick your battles. Your wife and your brothers wife do not get along right now. Don't push to resolve the issues immediately. Time and distance combined could be a healer. Give it sometime and revisit at a more opprtuned time. Trying to deal with it at the same time as convincing her to relocate is not a good idea.
Have you considered moving to the U.S.? If making money is your ultimate goal, there is no better place to be for a physician.

babythug:
iron whenever you feel like and bulk cook without worrying for nepa and she doesn’t hear sound of generator or sit in traffic after working all day for hours she too will make things work there!

Good luck oga

It’s hard being a Nigerian!

razible5384:
thanks for scholling that idiot

you are the idiot here

crackkhaus:

Too late for me to keep off, sorry...

That's mon-cat right there, and she has been so for quite a while waaaayy before now.
I've always had a gift for picking out the sensible ones here.

yeah right

merahki:



I am not a very good arguer, however let me try
We are underpaid and deserve better compensation, I agree. However this does not translate to being under intense pressure to acquire stuff. Do you not see this? With a pay of say xxxy, why must I feel pressed to send my dependents to a school that is known for giving “oyibosori” education to politicians and higher paid executives on xxxxyy salaries? Cos that’s just either greed, vanity or something else I don’t know. There is a school for every salary cadre.

About land? Well it is what it is, but we are very eligible for loans and can thus get lands. Not ideal, but better than what most people can see
There is also the option of not owning land ( )
All not ideal, I agree, but we make lemonade
My convoluted point was an encouraging one to doctors, to not allow our selves be pressed into living by any standard that is not ours, while living in this place. I have never been like that, and I never will. So it is a pet peeve when I see people living for sosayiti. I do empathise all right.
@ your bolded, okay

Cheers/ take care

To think that this thread was before the coronavirus outbreak.

Things do happen

funmisticqueen2:
yeah right

funmisticqueen2:
To think that this thread was before the coronavirus outbreak.
Things do happen

I don’t believe you
We have come a long way since that post, and I see I am really a NL addict!
Cheers
(Did you continue with the Dove and any review?Or did you give it out? Should have sent you my address to post it to me! . )

Do you have to write the Plab exams? U can travel n write n come back to Nig till u complete the exams. Then u can start searching for a job n come up with a plan with your wife's input.

I agree that the US appears way more lucrative than the UK for medical professionals.

Liftmaster:
Benjamin Franklin famously said that house guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. I am absolutely inclined to agree with him.
OP, perish the idea of you and your wife staying with your brother in the U.K. especially since your brothers wife and your wife already do not get along. Your wife has told you in not so many words that she is uncomfortable about doing so. Let sleeping dogs lie and find another solution. Your initial years as a young doc in the U.K. will be stressful enough talk less of adding home wahala. You can't leave your wife alone all day long in a "hostile environment" and expect things to work out fine. You will not like what this seemingly small issue can potentially become. Many people have said for you to go and get established first then she can join you. Have this discussion with your wife and let her know you understand her apprehension for staying at your brothers house and that this is an alternative. Does she know you are dissatisfied and/or frustrated with your current situation? Tell her and explain to her why you want to relocate.
It seems you haven't been married for long and could benefit from some marriage conflict resolution counseling. One piece of advice I can give you is to learn to pick your battles. Your wife and your brothers wife do not get along right now. Don't push to resolve the issues immediately. Time and distance combined could be a healer. Give it sometime and revisit at a more opprtuned time. Trying to deal with it at the same time as convincing her to relocate is not a good idea.
Have you considered moving to the U.S.? If making money is your ultimate goal, there is no better place to be for a physician.

merahki:



I don’t believe you
We have come a long way since that post, and I see I am really a NL addict!
Cheers
(Did you continue with the Dove and any review?Or did you give it out? Should have sent you my address to post it to me! . )

Gave it out o. Thanks. How's work?