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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy (7067 Views)
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Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by cococandy(f): 7:40am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Fear of God. What’s that? These heathens? Talk something else . eyinjuege: 8 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Ulunne777(f): 7:40am On Mar 14, 2020 |
movement2020: How would you as a12 yr old boy feel if you are bounced around relatives while your mother is alive, financially capable and willing to take care of you but she can't because of her new husband? Pls a very truthful response will suffice. 6 Likes |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by KingSatan: 7:41am On Mar 14, 2020 |
seanwilliam: Well Spoken Seanwilliam. Hell is a state of mind. Good Morning 1 Like |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Belafonte(m): 7:41am On Mar 14, 2020 |
KingSatan: Thank you for this. Most people condemning the man have no experience with raising children of their own. They don’t understand peer pressure and how malleable children’s minds are. Has anybody asked how come the boy began to pilfer at that age? Where and how did he learn it? What other vices has he learnt? 2 Likes |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Belafonte(m): 7:48am On Mar 14, 2020 |
foolbuster: Yet, the biological father has zero involvement in the boy’s life. The stepdad has done more for the boy recently than the biological father. Why are you not asking for the boy to be sent to his father? We know his real father is alive. 3 Likes |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by KingSatan: 7:48am On Mar 14, 2020 |
jelel6: Thank you so much for your submission Jelel6. For us to get things right in this part of the world, we must learn to make judgements by analyzing facts without emotional sentiments. As much as I agree with you, I also want to call your attention to FACTS. As they say, perception differs and so is our judgement. I don't hate the boy in question nor have I totally condemned him. Cheers |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by eyinjuege: 7:49am On Mar 14, 2020 |
cococandy: Honestly, my heart breaks with the way many Nigerians see things. I know the deep root of this is because its the woman's child, and they would rather the child suffers for it too. If this child were the husband's child, they would have started calling the wife all names for not allowing the boy come to live with the father. They wouldn't just label the boy a thief who will rape his sisters (they probably raped their own sisters) The advice would be to divorce the wife and he should take blood over spouse. I hope the OP is able to realise it's her blood we are talking of here too. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by KingSatan: 7:51am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Belafonte: People are not even asking why his father is not involved in his life? People are not asking why his uncle and aunty rejected him? This very case has thought me alot about our judicial system. People with a rational mindset would understand why Nigeria is a mess. 1 Like |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by cococandy(f): 7:56am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Nothing new to see here honestly. Any woman’s who hasn’t come to recognize the hypocrisy and selfishness of many men has herself to blame. Protect your interests always. I wouldn’t marry anyone who can’t accept my children. And won’t do anything for anyone who won’t do the same for me. Have to be able to give what you expect from others eyinjuege: 11 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Belafonte(m): 7:58am On Mar 14, 2020 |
KingSatan: They are only being emotional. And the funny Hong is most of these women would have the very same reactions. Imagine suddenly hearing that your spouses other child will be coming to live with your family after he has frustrated his aunt and uncle. . You sef go protest. I don’t know what she’s trying to prove to the father of the boy, but she clearly cannot raise the children by herself. If she could she would not have to send the boy to relatives. Madam Vyvy, you are damaging your son because you want to prove to his father that you don’t need him. Sorry o. Your eye go soon clear. 4 Likes |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Belafonte(m): 8:01am On Mar 14, 2020 |
eyinjuege: Yet, this boy lived with his stepdad at one time. This boy’s sister from the same father still lives with them. But no, it has to be because it’s the woman’s child. Very funny. Meanwhile, the man has expressed his reason for not being keen on housing the boy, but that doesn’t matter because, according to you men are hypocrites |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by MDBrand: 8:13am On Mar 14, 2020 |
KingSatan:Abeg shut up |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Nobody: 8:19am On Mar 14, 2020 |
femi4:good morning, pls can you help me to unlock an mtn router. |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by eyinjuege: 8:23am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Belafonte: What his reservations/reasons are means nothing in this case. Its irrelevant. Highly irrelevant. I don't care about that, and neither do the needs of that boy. Even the law cannot be sympathetic towards the man. The needs of that boy supersedes any reason of coulda, woulda, shoulda... We're talking of a primary need of shelter here. It should be provided by the parent, the mother in this case. We're only being polite by "asking for permission" from the husband. The child should be with his mother, who is his legal guardian. Other things are secondary. This is not an 18 year old boy you can chase out of your house that he's old enough to start earning and looking after himself. That child should never be homeless. Remember there is no other parent to push him to. What OP is doing is actually child neglect, going towards abuse of that child is not housed immediately If the husband wants to move out because of this, then let him do so. She never hid her background from him, and yet he chose to marry her. What did he think would happen to her children? They will magically disappear or she should kill them? Please, let's be realistic, practical and not sentimental here. Imagine someone telling me it's rational to neglect your child and allow him homeless. Is it madness ni? 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Belafonte(m): 8:29am On Mar 14, 2020 |
eyinjuege: On the original thread, I mentioned how it was silly if the man to renege on his promise. I wouldn’t advise marrying a single mother but, having made the choice, she must be accepted with all she comes with. The boy must be brought to live with his mum. However, the man’s reservations aren’t without merit. He has genuine fears, and it’s my opinion that his wife has to assuage them. What I expect her to do is devise a means to reintroduce the boy into their home with as little friction as possible with her husband. If she’s going to do it disregarding her husband’s fears, then good luck to her. Obviously, it’s not impossible to raise four children on her own, but she won’t have to if she has the wisdom to manage conflict well. 1 Like |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by movement2020: 8:41am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Ulunne777: You want to hear the truth. The mother is at fault and should be scolded seriously. If she has planned all these earlier before getting into another marriage, she would have either maintained her lane, strive hard to give the kids the best and not re-marry or made sure she stayed her Ex. Don't let the 12yr old boy becloud you or words of the woman. In every divorce or separation, the children are the victims. Couples should ensure they stay together or remain single especially when kids are involved. 1 Like |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Teespice(f): 8:57am On Mar 14, 2020 |
cococandy: that line "protect your interests always", selfish but has kept many women out of problems. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by femi4: 9:17am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Army10:model |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by pocohantas(f): 9:44am On Mar 14, 2020 |
I have no single problem with the man not wanting another man’s child. I am not a fan of Telemundo love that accepts people with all their flaws and baggages. Life doesn’t work that way, the earlier some persons begin to accept this, the better for them. Anyway, If you accept to marry a single mother/father- take whatever comes with it. The only exception should be if they hid certain things from you. Don’t lead them on and stop half way. It complicates things. This is my problem, not whether men should marry single mothers or not. 2 Likes |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Uniquedee(f): 9:49am On Mar 14, 2020 |
Ehiscotch: Why you too get sense like this....all these people screaming hell..wait till you're in that shoe to know how you would react...you can't use two out of 100 cases to judge all 1 Like |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by saucecode(m): 10:15am On Mar 14, 2020 |
cococandy:Lorretta the fake ass are you not already married? Which one is you will not marry anyone.Are you planning to divorce Topaz 4 Likes |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by saucecode(m): 10:22am On Mar 14, 2020 |
cococandy:How can a user like u be calling other people heathens You better give another child to my brother instead of planning how to divorce him and steal all his money.Heathens got nuffin on ya 1 Like |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by KingSatan: 10:55am On Mar 14, 2020 |
pocohantas: Welcome Poco An educated woman is a blessing to the world. |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by frozen70(f): 1:11pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
As we have female single parents so we have the same exact number of male single parents A female single parents is as a result of a male single parent |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Martini101(m): 1:21pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
eyinjuege: Talk about the case at hand |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by foolbuster: 2:47pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
Belafonte: Because the father obviously does not want to have anything to do with the woman and his children so why force the boy on him when the mother is more than willing to take care of him. Also the father cannot be easily reached he is out of the country. You say the stepdad has done more for the boy, What has the step-dad done for the boy? the boy never lived with him. Are you sure you read the story? The woman's husband agreed to shelter her 2 children before he married the woman, why are you people pretending not to know about this. Besides what exactly did he think was gonna happen if he chose to marry a single mum out of all the single ladies out there, and then go a step further to agree to shelter the woman's kid. Abeg you people should call a spade a spade, the man should man up to his responsibilities and give the boy a home, its not as if he will be taking care of him anyway. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Nobody: 3:49pm On Mar 14, 2020 |
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Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by KingSatan: 1:02pm On Mar 16, 2020 |
lalasticlala |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Nobody: 1:52pm On Mar 16, 2020 |
I see nothing wrong in marrying a single mother. I'd take her over a girl that has aborted even half time. A single mother with only one child o... preferably girl. I wouldn't want a woman who has two sons already. Kids might grow up and threaten to beat one up simply because they taller... 2 Likes |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by OlawaleBammie: 9:05pm On Mar 16, 2020 |
24kmagic: Liv dem, na suffer dem wan suffer me a no dey pity any of dem, wetin consignment me. make i listen to my awilo logomba jare |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by melaninpop: 7:11am On Mar 17, 2020 |
Ehiscotch: Nairaland is full of kids.. Forget it!!! My older brother married a single mum with an 8yr old son. She has 3 children for my brother now. That boy is presently in the university and now bears my family name cos he has been legally adopted. His father ran away when the mum was pregnant with him. My prayer is every single mum out there finds a man to love and completely accept her and her child.. Everyone deserves to be loved. The African society is easier on single dads than single mums. A family will encourage a woman to marry a single father but if their son brings a single mother home..... everybody go wan die. It's a mess, simple!! 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: No Man Should Be Encouraged To Marry A Single Mother: A Response To Vyvyanvyvy by Nobody: 2:28pm On Mar 20, 2020 |
melaninpop:the bigotry by members of this forum is colossal. When you disagree with them on a minute thing you are automatically a simp or vagina worshipper. To them,the opposite of misogyny=vagina worshipping. They will call themselves alphas yet alphas are strong willed people that break rules and choose a path different from the norm. This people wanna dictate how people should run their lives and set up standards or rules for people,if you don't follow,you are a loser. They have the perfect recipe for life. When a thread was created by a single father who had an issue with his wife for sending his son out of wedlock to another school,the hypocrites were reminding him of how he is the "head of the house" and how his wife should know her place. A twelve year old kid steals?for real?they can go ahead and look him up in jail because he is a menace to the society,he is responsible for the calamities on this earth! Las las their noise ends online,when they log out of this forum they face reality. That is why I never take some people's rants to heart because in real life they may be a disappointment ,online is the only place they can be demi gods 5 Likes |
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