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Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? - Romance - Nairaland

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Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by havilla(f): 1:44am On Dec 27, 2010
I have been dating this guy since 2006 and he has only given me a gift once, which was during my birthday.he doesn't give me any surprises, doesn't credit my phone once in a while(although I don't ask),when I try and hint him that I don't have money to make my hair his reply is "why don't u have money and that's it. when i travelled the first time I got him a nice perfume, next time a t-shirt and then a ysl shirt. He is actually the only guy I've dated so I don't know if its me or that's how other relationships are, but when I hear my friends talking it seems that's not the case. Now his talking about marriage and I don't want a stingy husband. Pls do u think am being inconsiderate or a gold digger?? Sincere answers pls.

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Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Etakime(m): 2:00am On Dec 27, 2010
Do you really luv d guy? If you do you won't be bothered if he gives you gift or not. Though it shld be a mutual thing.

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Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by happylady: 2:02am On Dec 27, 2010
I think he can get the feeling you want something from him and now his guard is up sorry but it is like human nature for this to be! also dont look to your friends situation this will end in tears otherwise,
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by 190: 2:35am On Dec 27, 2010
Excuse me poster

are your parent's europeans

cos you are the only Good girl i have seen or heard this year

Thats not into Gold-digging, and spends money on her guy

Keep it up, dont worry you would reap the fruits of labour from your next BF,

Too bad this your current BF is not the rite person for you,

He is a self destruct MODE,please dump his azz thats not how relationship


ought to be, it should be reciprocal, not from one end, since 2006, that guy is simply a fool

tell him i said so,

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Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by iice(f): 4:56am On Dec 27, 2010
You're not a Gold digger.
But don't make it a standard that he has to pay for things like your hair, your load etc.
Finally, have a talk with him. How it would be when you're married, what he thinks his responsibilities are etc. You don't have to ask him outright. . .just get talking so you can have an idea of how it would be when you guys get married.

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Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by freecocoa(f): 5:13am On Dec 27, 2010
Oh sweetheart,you are not a gold digger at all,ur bf is stingy,i've be in that kind of relationship before,in my case when i bring up any issue about money he just diverts the topic,anyways talk to him about it in a gentle way,watch and see how it'll go.

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Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by chika98: 5:23am On Dec 27, 2010
You're far from a gold digger. when a man cares for woman he takes care of her and tries to give her the best he can. Your boyfriend has an extreme case of stingy-itis! That is all. How can you date someone and never buy them anything or take em out? Isn't that what is it all about? Enjoying things together. You sef buy am YSL. I had dated his kind before. Run like hell!

1 Like

Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by aameyah(f): 5:24am On Dec 27, 2010
nope, girl. Since u stayd with him for 4 gud years, i wudnt refer 2 u as a gold digger. What do u do? R u a student or do u work? A relatnshp is a give and take situation. I suggest you take note of hw he acts wit his pple. Does he take care of his mum, for exampl? Hav u also considerd that he is the type who wud only spend on his wife?My first boyfrnd was an extreme case of stinginess. Infact, our first valentine together he vanishd for a few days, no call, nothing, only 2 turn up a few days later, without a reasonable explanation and a droopy flower he pluckd near my compound. I hav sinc learnt my lesson. If u wnt sm tins done, u gats 2 do them yourself. Try and b independent.

Wot year did he give u d bday gift. Do u guys go out atleast once in a while? angry
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Osama10(m): 5:28am On Dec 27, 2010
He has given you one of the most valuable gifts now marriage. grin
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by femzy(m): 5:59am On Dec 27, 2010
Osama10:

He has given you one of the most valuable gifts now marriage. grin
tongue
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Meklex(m): 7:35am On Dec 27, 2010
aameyah:

nope, girl. Since u stayd with him for 4 gud years, i wudnt refer 2 u as a gold digger. What do u do? R u a student or do u work? A relatnshp is a give and take situation. I suggest you take note of hw he acts wit his pple. Does he take care of his mum, for exampl? Hav u also considerd that he is the type who wud only spend on his wife?My first boyfrnd was an extreme case of stinginess. Infact, our first valentine together he vanishd for a few days, no call, nothing, only 2 turn up a few days later, without a reasonable explanation and a droopy flower he pluckd near my compound. I hav sinc learnt my lesson. If u wnt sm tins done, u gats 2 do them yourself. Try and b independent.

Wot year did he give u d bday gift. Do u guys go out atleast once in a while? angry
You are one smart girl with concience keep it up.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by mediatrix8(f): 9:01am On Dec 27, 2010
relationship should be always give and take to be stronger but in case only one is giving and the other is not, consider his situation if he has money to spend for you and yet he is very stingy then he maybe not real, but if u can see for now he isn't capable enough,you should try to understand him though I know as a woman no matter how small that thing given to you during special occasions .it means a lot, it shows the person cares.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by havilla(f): 10:13am On Dec 27, 2010
@aameyah, I just finished uni this year while he has been working most of the time. His mum has her own money so I guess there is no need to take care of her. He gave me the gift in 07, although we've been in a long distance for a while I still manage to buy him little gifts when I get back.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by havilla(f): 10:21am On Dec 27, 2010
We go out once in a while but most of the time he prefers we stay in the car and talk. Am getting really bored with the relationship.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by InkedNerd(f): 10:27am On Dec 27, 2010
havilla:

We go out once in a while but most of the time he prefers we stay in the car and talk. Am getting really bored with the relationship.

If you're really not feelin' the relationship then you should go your desperate ways. There's no point in you staying in the relationship if you are unhappy.

190:

Excuse me poster

are your parent's europeans

cos you are the only Good girl i have seen or heard this year

Thats not into Gold-digging, and spends money on her guy

Keep it up, dont worry you would reap the fruits of labour from your next BF,

Too bad this your current BF is not the rite person for you,

He is a self destruct MODE,please dump his azz thats not how relationship


ought to be, it should be reciprocal, not from one end, since 2006, that guy is simply a fool

tell him i said so,

What the hell does being European have to do with anything?
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by aameyah(f): 10:48am On Dec 27, 2010
@havilla-i get u. Personally,i think when a man is in love, he wants to show u that he's capable of cherishin &takin care of u as his wife. D issue is nt evn creditin ur fone or payin 4 your hair. D issue is that he hasnt seen it fit 2 buy u a little somethin in 3 YEARS!!! What marriage is he talkin about? Marriage is abt sharing and it luks lyk he doesnt hav a clue on hw 2 do that. Evn if he's takin care of his mum, shudnt he learn 2 balance tins btw mum &g/frnd? Hav a gud tink, my dear. And hav a talk wit him.
Because even ur parents wil be watchin surrepticiously 2 c if he's a giver b4 giving their blessings dat u shud get married 2 him.
By the way, does his people know you? R u absolutely sure u'r d only one he's dating? Men tend 2 be lax when they av plenty options.

1 Like

Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by badguy3: 11:48am On Dec 27, 2010
Be like u not gold-digger. U have give him a lot but have u give him punnany? undecided If not given him punnany then i no surprise he doing this. U stingy with punny angry so he stingy with gift. Truss me cool
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Pennywise(m): 12:02pm On Dec 27, 2010
It will be wrong to use little things like this to determine if a guy will truly be caring or not.

It is in the nature of some guys to worry more about things that truly count. E.g a guy who cant be bothered about your make-up will buy you a car because he thinks walking to the train station is too much burden on you.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by chikeorji123(m): 12:20pm On Dec 27, 2010
bad-guy:

Be like u not  gold-digger. U have give him a lot but have u give him punnany? undecided If not given him punnany then i no surprise he doing this. U  stingy with punny angry so he stingy with gift. Truss me cool

Answer these please cool cool cool cool grin grin grin waiting
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Mygoldie(f): 12:21pm On Dec 27, 2010
@ OP your obviously bored with the relationship,i don't see why a guy cannot spend a little cash for his girl,even to the extent of fixing her hair?? some London guys never seize to amaze me. If he finds it difficult to spend on you at this stage, marriage is going to be worse my dear. he may even ask you to buy yous baby food and clothings with your own money. who is he working for. Please sit down and think twice before you decide on marrying him. People might come here and say oh buying gift for the one you love is immaterial. WHAT is LOVE if you don't shower your girl with gifts once in a while?(OK on vals day,no gift,on her birthday,no gift,on xmas day,no gift) (what the h/e/ck)??


Buying gifts for your love one is very important in a relationship/marriage. WHO DOESN'T LIKE GIFTS? come and show your face.
I say if he loves you,he wouldn't mind spending on you and caring for your needs,even if its not always,but he needs to show he cares and he's concerned about your needs. not shoving it back at you.

1 Like

Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by 190: 1:17pm On Dec 27, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


If you're really not feelin' the relationship then you should go your desperate ways. There's no point in you staying in the relationship if you are unhappy.

What the hell does being European have to do with anything?

grin grin grin grin

That was to draw you out and you so fell for it grin grin
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by iice(f): 1:28pm On Dec 27, 2010
Pennywise:

It will be wrong to use little things like this to determine if a guy will truly be caring or not.

It is in the nature of some guys to worry more about things that truly count. E.g a guy who cant be bothered about your make-up will buy you a car because he thinks walking to the train station is too much burden on you.

Oga ooo. Thank you.
Anyway OP seems bored with the relationship. . .abi na fed-up so na break up time.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by 190: 1:40pm On Dec 27, 2010
^^so you speak Broken english!! shocked shocked shocked
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by iice(f): 1:41pm On Dec 27, 2010
Of course undecided
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by 190: 1:43pm On Dec 27, 2010
^^Never knew that, I thought u were born during Shakespearian Era
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by iice(f): 1:54pm On Dec 27, 2010
Viking era, chile not Elizabethan era
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by 190: 2:04pm On Dec 27, 2010
^^They are all the same atleast there's an era in both of them~
so how good are you in pidgin, Guess you had an A+ in your GSCE in broken english
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by iice(f): 2:14pm On Dec 27, 2010
I see in your school you had pidgin as a subject. That's really sad
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by 190: 2:18pm On Dec 27, 2010
^^Sorry and did i forget that you were my tutor on that subject although i kept having an F9 on it,

seems you've forgotten your'self!
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by chika98: 5:35pm On Dec 27, 2010
iice:

I see in your school you had pidgin as a subject. That's really sad

iDied! LOL
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Nobody: 5:58pm On Dec 27, 2010
oh sweetie you are no gold digger your man is just as tight as a duck ass. Do not even think he will change, cheap people never change. If you do not like the way he is now, then U better get out, or you live with it.
Re: Am I Being A Gold Digger? Or Is He Selfish? by Carolece(f): 6:02pm On Dec 27, 2010
That male person is a stingy rat. Dont marry him. If he doesnt know how to simply give the woman he is with simple gifts or even when you make hints then you wont get things that would be necessary from him either. since 2006 and partially nothing!? please let that stingy nigga be.

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